Can Tomb-Sweeping Day women go to the grave? Why don't Tomb-Sweeping Day women go to the grave?
Can Tomb-Sweeping Day women go to the grave?
Feudal thoughts such as "marrying a woman and splashing water" lead to the fact that only men can attend the sweeping ceremony in Tomb-Sweeping Day, and married women are never allowed to go back to their parents' homes to sweep their graves, because besides disrespect for their ancestors, more importantly, married women will "pull their parents' feng shui". There are three situations, but these are all old calendars.
1. Unmarried daughters can't go to the grave.
In some rural areas, unmarried daughters can't go to the cemetery of the deceased, which is even an inviolable family rule. If there are no children at home, let the son and nephew in the next room do it for them. This is my daughter's, not her own, so my daughter can't go to her family's grave. She is her husband's family after marriage, so she can go to her husband's family's grave.
2. Married daughters cannot go to the grave.
Some places think that the married daughter belongs to someone else's family. If there is a son at home, no one in the family wants her to go back to her family to visit the grave, for fear that others will say that there is no one at home. Only a family without a son can a girl return to the family grave. Some people think that after their daughters get married, they can't sweep their ancestral graves, otherwise they will take away their geomantic omen. Traditionally, in a nutshell, married women belong to the husband's family. She won't and can't sweep someone's grave. She can't be buried on her parents' land in a hundred years. This concept is generally considered as "daughters don't pass on their children." Only the names of sons and daughters can be engraved on the tombstones of ancestors, while the names of girls are generally not engraved on the tombstones of parents and ancestors. In some places, this custom continues to this day.
3, you can go to the grave whether you are married or not.
The traditional concept is more because of the concept that men are superior to women, so that there are many sayings about daughters going to the grave. But now it is emphasized that boys and girls are the same, daughters are as important as sons, and many families are only daughters, so this concept has been changing. As long as parents and elders do not have the idea of son preference, then natural daughters can go to the grave whether they are married or not.
What should women pay attention to when they go to the grave?
1. Sick women can't go to the grave. If they have to go, they must wear amulets, such as jade or jade Buddha.
2. Pregnant women and women on vacation can't go to the grave.
3. A woman who is not formally married but just a girlfriend can't accompany her boyfriend to the grave.
In some places, it is also stipulated that a woman whose husband died less than three years ago can't go to the grave.
5. For families with new wives and newly born children, Tomb-Sweeping Day must take the new wives and newly born mothers to visit the graves this year.
Precautions for women going to the grave
It is worth mentioning that the new daughter-in-law or newborn who goes to the grave must not wear plain clothes, but must wear festive clothes, at least one red dress and an ornament, one for the good news, so that the ancestors can see that the family is spreading branches and leaves and adding people to import; The second is to ward off evil spirits and not let ghosts around you invade. It is these festive colors that add different meanings to Tomb-Sweeping Day's grave-sweeping, and also symbolize the continuation of this life and the inheritance of incense.
During the Qingming period, everything recovers, plants wither in autumn and winter, and sprout again in spring; Although people can't be resurrected after death, our ancestors can die with a smile while watching their children and grandchildren grow sturdily.