China Naming Network - Eight-character query< - From Bai Jiaxuan and Bai Jingqi, look at those controlling fathers.

From Bai Jiaxuan and Bai Jingqi, look at those controlling fathers.

Bai Jiaxuan is a failed father.

His ideal is to stay in Bailuyuan for generations, farm land and read family heirlooms. For the prosperity of the family and the harmony of the people, all his children must run on the established track under his planning, and there is no room for any deviation.

But in the end, none of his children got what he wanted.

At first, Bai Jiaxuan devoted all his efforts to his eldest son Bai Xiaowen.

Xiaowen is a young scholar. He wants to go to the city to learn new things like Lu and Lu. But Bai Jiaxuan didn't allow it, and he was bent on cultivating him into the next patriarch. Filial piety did not dare to disobey, so he had to accept his fate and learn to be a patriarch with his father.

Filial piety is not good for farming, and Bai Jiaxuan can't see it. Filial piety and cowardice, Bai Jiaxuan doesn't like it. His filial piety education method is repression and degradation. The more you suppress and belittle, the more you feel that filial piety is not as good as "other people's children".

Under such education, Xiaowen seems to want to study aboveboard, but his heart is inevitably dark and inferior, giving birth to too much jealousy and comparison.

Bai Jiaxuan's strict requirements for filial piety are purely narcissistic, that is, my son Bai Jiaxuan must be what he is, and my son Bai Jiaxuan must never be what he is. But whenever Xiaowen makes a mistake, instead of educating and guiding, he feels extremely frustrated and disappointed and puts on a refusal attitude: "I don't have a son like you!" " "

As a result, Xiao Wen completely abandoned his self-esteem, broke the jar and fell, and his father and son turned against each other. In the past, filial piety actively suppressed nature and tried every means to please his father, but it still failed to meet his father's requirements. From then on, he simply gave up, didn't be cheeky, and was willing to be a rebel.

Later, Xiao Wen joined the security team, was promoted all the way, and returned to his hometown to worship his ancestors. He seemed to be a "prodigal son". Especially when his son became a county magistrate, Bai Jiaxuan was quite complacent: Bai Jiazu's grave has good feng shui.

However, Bai Xiaowen has been completely hacked by this time. He is no longer the boy who tried to please his father, but a mean, cunning, cruel and duplicitous "dummy".

When the eldest son betrayed his family, Bai Jiaxuan had to pin all his expectations on his second son, Bai Xiaowu.

At first, Bai Jiaxuan was very satisfied with Xiao Wu, because Xiao Wu obeyed him, imitated him, asked him to show everything, and followed his example everywhere. Xiao Wu is a good hand at farming, managing the family diligently and maintaining the right to speak in the family. Although he doesn't like reading and lacks knowledge of books and etiquette, he is committed to learning his father's behavior.

However, this satisfaction did not last long. Bai Jiaxuan slowly discovered that Xiao Wu learned from him everywhere, but he didn't like it everywhere.

A plague broke out in Bailuyuan. The villagers blamed the natural disaster on Tian Xiaoe's ghost and demanded that a temple be built for Tian Xiaoe. This touched Bai Jiaxuan's adherence to the foundation of morality and inner purity.

Xiaowu did not understand this, but took the lead in advocating the repair of the temple, "conforming to the people's hearts and pleading for the people." He thought he was imitating his father's manner, but unexpectedly he angered his father.

For another example, Heiwa stopped being a bandit, worshipped Mr. Zhu as a teacher, and wanted to return to her native place to recognize her ancestors. Mr. Zhu relayed this meaning and asked Xiao Wu about it. Xiao Wu said that he had to go back and ask his father. This incident made Bai Jiaxuan very disappointed.

First, Heiwa can "change with the smell", which is a good thing in Bai Jiaxuan's view-but Xiao Wu didn't even expect this, and he has no opinion at all. Second, Xiao Wu thinks that Heiwa broke his father's waist, and his father will definitely not agree to his return to his hometown-this speculation about Bai Jiaxuan makes him even more angry and makes him feel that this son lacks mind and is too small.

Xiaowu is an obedient and filial son. It is his obedience that makes him lack an independent mind and backbone. Therefore, no matter how carefully he imitates Bai Jiaxuan, he can't learn God or soul, and he can only be a poor imitator.

Bai Jiaxuan gave his two sons extremely strict control. However, he has less expectations and more love for his daughter's ghost, so his control is greatly weakened, giving the ghost room to grow freely. Later, Bai Ling was able to grow into an independent and brave person, which was not so much the result of Bai Jiaxuan's education as the result of Bai Jiaxuan's deregulation.

This is the most helpless place for a controlling father: the more control he has, the less his children deserve it. They either rebel, become enemies or submit to Nuo Nuo. On the contrary, the children with the least control may be unexpected.

The TV series "Dazhaimen" tells the story of the five generations of the White House, and the same is true.

My grandfather, Bai, was the founder of the family business and became the name of Baicaoting. He was tenacious and stubborn, and for the sake of relief, he did not hesitate to fight with Prince Zhan.

Growing up under such a patriarchal system, my father was weak and incompetent. Every day, he takes care of the flowers and leaves everything to his wife for nothing.

In the face of his weak father, Bai Jingqi developed a lawless and aggressive character from an early age. Even if she was kicked out of the house by her second grandmother, she could stand on her own feet and become the head of the family.

And in the fourth generation, reincarnation again. Bai, who grew up under violent upbringing and arbitrary control, is a typical playboy, gambling, drug abuse and traitor.

In the fifth generation, the cycle continues. There is a black sheep father like Bai, but Bai Zhanyuan is very determined and quite opinionated. He chose his own life path, devoted himself to the war of resistance, participated in the revolution, and became the first person of the Bai family who dared to contact with the outside world.

This seemingly coincidental, but in fact reasonable five generations of reincarnation, let the viewer sigh.

A strong father begets a soft son. Soft-skinned dad lacks control, but invisibly leaves room for his son to grow freely-this is the strange circle of controlled education. If we can't bypass this strange circle, we can only cycle from generation to generation.

Liang Qichao is a great father. His nine children have all become talents, including architects, archaeologists and rocket experts. One has produced three academicians.

The strange circle of regulated education troubled many fathers, but it didn't bother Liang Qichao at all. Because he gave up control from the beginning and encouraged children to choose independently and grow freely.

In a letter to his daughter Liang Sizhuang, he talked about his views on choosing a major and suggested that her daughter choose biology as her major. Shortly after the letter was sent, he thought about it and worried that it would interfere with his daughter's choice, so he wrote such a letter in a hurry:

Liang Qichao is a learned man, but he doesn't want to influence his children with his own will in academic research. Instead, he encouraged them to choose their own direction according to their own interests. Later, with his encouragement, Liang Sizhuang changed his major in library science and became a famous library scientist.

In front of children, he has no desire to control. He is not a symbol of patriarchy, but a spokesman for fatherly love.

He played three roles for children: first, he was an example-his unremitting exploration and pursuit throughout his life set a benchmark for children from character to learning; The second is the teacher's role-he teaches children what he thinks and gains, guides them to inspire, and urges them to "ask for hard work, and Mo Wen will gain"; The third is the role of a friend-he discusses problems with the children, plays humor together, and shares worries for the children at critical moments.

According to Liang Qichao's standards, controlling fathers such as Bai Jiaxuan and Bai Jingqi is completely different.

Liang Qichao's love for children is unconditional and unreserved. He does not exert control over the children, so the children are neither obedient nor rebellious, and can take the middle road.

The controlling father loves his children too little, doesn't water them enough and oppresses them too much, so the children grow into crooked branches and creeping seedlings.

If only everyone could learn from Liang Rengong.