Tongcheng marriage custom
The process of marriage in Xianning
Marriage is a great event in one's life. In the old days, it was often regarded as a "lifelong event". Because after marriage, the couple will be together for life, grow old together, share weal and woe. Although in the old society, men and women often got married out of "parents' orders and matchmakers' words", both men and women did not have the right to choose their spouses, but the marriage was quite grand. With the changes of the times, although this process has been gradually simplified, it is still very particular in rural areas, including the following aspects:
Introduction: In the past, the combination of men and women only listened to "parents' orders and matchmakers' words". Nowadays, many people still match the bridge through references, so that men and women can get to know each other and get to know each other initially, which is an indispensable part of marriage.
Engagement: By introducing needles, men and women have the opportunity to meet and talk. If both men and women intend to get married and get the consent of both parents, they are generally engaged before marriage. In the past, engagement was called "marriage". Generally, after a child is born, an engagement is concluded based on "parents' orders and the words of the media". Write the year, month, day and time of birth of both men and women in the Geng book in duplicate, exchange them and hold a piece of paper respectively. The keepsakes of "Pressing Geng Shu" are mostly ornaments such as hairpin and earrings for men, and embroidery for women. For a well-off family, the pledge of engagement is more valuable, while for a poor family, it is a general pledge of intention.
Report Date: Choose a good day for your wedding. The man's family asked the fortune teller to choose an auspicious day according to the date of birth of men and women as a wedding celebration to repay the kindness to the woman's family, which is called gratitude day. On the eve of the wedding day, the man's family must send the gift money to the woman's family according to the original agreement (commonly known as money or gold and silver) to prepare dowry, furniture and other wedding supplies for the woman's family.
Wedding ceremony: the man said marriage, and the woman said marriage. One or two days before the wedding, the man gave the woman "pig jar wine" and a box (clothes, vegetables, food), which is called a gift. The woman sent her own cloth shoes back to the man, and several people in the man's family made several pairs. On the wedding day, the man carried a sedan chair and played doubles (two suona and two big gongs) to meet the woman at home. After the bride gets on the sedan chair, she seals the sedan door with couplets, and each man and woman writes a couplet, demanding that the antithesis be neat.
Visiting the hall: that is, the newlyweds worship their ancestors in the hall. Newcomers (brides and grooms) drink a "toast" when they enter the house, and then the closest and most respected women (mother-in-law or sister-in-law) develop rice bubbles, candy and sugar tea; Then both newlyweds "worship the church", first to their ancestors, then to their parents, then to their uncles, brothers, sisters-in-law and respected elders among their relatives. Guests will call out their names one by one to receive gifts, and all the recipients will take out "tea money" At the same time, rice bubbles and candy were distributed to the onlookers. At the climax of the wedding, people jokingly paint the face of the groom's father or uncle and other elders black, put on a sheepskin coat, tie a bell around his waist, break his hat, symbolically tie his hands and feet, or ride a donkey backwards to let him "show up", which is called "playing the father-in-law"
Make trouble in the bridal chamber: After the ceremony, the bride (usually the woman with two children) and the groom introduce the bride into the bridal chamber. On the wedding night, there is a custom of getting married in both urban and rural areas. It is customary to say that "three days after marriage, regardless of size", the elders and younger generations get together and laugh noisily until late at night. At the same time when the new house was noisy, relatives and friends let the tea tray contain red dates, peanuts, longan and melon seeds, and sang a song to persuade them to have children early.
Back to the door: on the third day after marriage, both husband and wife go to the woman's house to visit relatives. When they went, the woman was in front, when they came back, the man was in front, and they went back the same day. In the past, the back door used a car as a means of transportation, but now it is walking or riding. On the evening of returning home, a "Happy New Year" ceremony was held, and relatives and friends wrote the groom's name in red, beating gongs and drums, setting off firecrackers and delivering them to the door. From then on, others can no longer call the groom's real name, and the groom's family holds a banquet to entertain relatives and friends. At this point, the whole wedding ceremony is over.
Characteristics of marriage customs in Xianning
Xianning is a famous "hometown of bamboo", and bamboo culture has penetrated into people's daily life. Bamboo has a beautiful meaning in ancient China, and is loved by literati. Literally, bamboo characters are composed of two pictographs of bamboo leaves. The two "individuals" are inseparable, symbolizing unity, faithful love and happiness of husband and wife. Especially in the southern wedding customs, bamboo is regarded as an auspicious thing and represents a good omen. Such as picking the bride's veil with bamboo sticks, carrying bamboo sedan chairs, sending bamboo fans, carrying rice screens and so on. When describing love life, we often use the word "childhood friends, two children have no guess". Bamboo is also homophonic for "bamboo", "bamboo (bamboo) king" and "bamboo (bamboo) happiness" is an ode to beauty, happiness and auspiciousness.
In modern wedding customs, the woman's family will hold a ceremony before the wedding. The ceremony at the top is usually held on the wedding day, which symbolizes that a couple has formally entered adulthood, organized a new family and shouldered the mission of spreading branches and leaves. In good times, parents or "lucky" elders should comb the bride or groom's hair and say blessings while combing their hair. For example, "One comb to the end, two combs with white hair, Qi Mei, three combs with children and grandchildren, four combs with four silver bamboo shoots" means wishing the couple a long life together. Xianning is a place where ceremonies are held with bamboo combs or bamboo sticks to gain the meaning of peace and good luck.
Weeping marriage with bamboo songs: A few days before the bride gets married, there is a custom of crying marriage. The content includes crying about the process of growing up to thank parents for their kindness, crying about their reluctance to leave home and the feelings of leaving their sisters of the same age. Xianning people cry seven or four times when they marry, and strictly follow the ceremony of "trying to cry, crying together, persuading to cry, crying separately, screaming, sighing and crying". The whole process of crying is "no songs, no weddings, no flowers". One of the "Niangniang Songs" is a bamboo song: "Bamboo flowers are yellow, and Niangniang's heart is bitter. Nowadays, it is difficult to repay the kindness of parents. In the next life, it will become a mother of bamboo shoots to taste, a bamboo stick to help the empress propose marriage, and a pair of bamboo baskets to help the empress build a grange. Empress, don't waste your daughter coming to the world. "
Wedding sedan chair made of bamboo: The sedan chair used in Xianning wedding is not an ordinary sedan chair, but a large sedan chair made of bamboo by hand. Sliced strips of Cinnamomum cassia are staggered from left to right, flattened and compacted, and woven into fine and beautiful bamboo braids, one side of which is connected with the traditional bamboo sedan chair. Bridging the bridge with a bamboo sedan chair is also an auspicious blessing of bamboo, which also shows Xianning people's love for bamboo.
Bamboo umbrella entering the door: After the bride gets off the sedan chair, the sedan chair girl will escort her into the house with a bamboo umbrella, which represents the spreading of branches and leaves.
Patriarch with tent poles: tent poles are poles used in ancient times to hang mosquito nets, usually bamboo poles. The so-called dowry means that when a woman gets married, the bride's younger brother will give her two bamboo poles. "Nanzhu Nanzhu, one bamboo a year, getting older" means that the bride can have children. When you get to the man's home, the man's home should give a certain amount of gift money to show good luck.
Tea-eating ceremony: There is a tea-eating ceremony in Xianning's wedding custom, that is, on the wedding night, tea is placed on the wedding bed and a toast is made to the bride, which means wishing the couple a long and sweet life, having a baby early, conveying the meaning of ancient tea and reflecting the consciousness of ancestors to respect the god of reproduction with tea. Wedding tea in Xianning area includes engagement tea, wedding tea, lifting tea and loose tea. In addition, there is tea offered by the bride with her family. Generally, on the first morning of the first Spring Festival of the wedding, the bride wears a skirt and holds a tea tray to pay New Year's greetings, while the groom carries a pot to add tea. In some places, little sister-in-law carries a pot. Its purpose is also the meaning of "harmony", and it is convenient to visit the village gates to contact family members through offering tea.
abstract
Nowadays, with the development of the times, the marriage customs are more and more simple and modern, but people still pay attention to some small details in order to get their auspicious meaning, which is also the characteristic of China's marriage customs. As a witness and ceremony to enter the marriage hall, the success of the wedding directly affects the happiness of marriage and family to some extent. The composition of the family ensures the successors of the society and the nation, so marriage is not only related to individuals and families, but also to the harmony and stability of the whole society. With the progress and changes of the times, we should inherit and carry forward the traditional marriage custom culture, and at the same time, we should keep pace with the times and develop scientifically.