Very interesting classic funny talk
1. Why are you so short? Because I have been mini!
2. They say chatting ends with haha, but I don’t believe it. I sent a message to my boyfriend yesterday saying: I like you so much. He said: Haha. I replied: Haha, damn it. So I yelled at him all night.
3. The face I have kissed you has been covered with isolation cream, BB cream, and sunscreen. It feels like you spent a lot of money in one bite.
4. Do you mind if I have small breasts? No, I like the feeling of my childhood sweetheart. What does it mean to play with me since childhood?
5. I ran into a female junior high school classmate in the restaurant, but she didn’t remember me, so I reminded her: Do you still remember the boy who was punished for kissing you in the woods in junior high school? Her face turned red and she said excitedly: Are you the one at that time... I smiled ashamedly: Yes, I was the one who snitched on me at that time!
6. Would you like to cut a whole pizza into 8 pieces or 12 pieces? 8 yuan, I can't eat 12 yuan.
7. Just after I woke up, I heard a man in the community shouting: Beat to death, beat to death, beat to death, reverse, reverse. This is the rhythm of something big happening! See what's going on, I quickly got up and ran to the window... I went, and there was a man directing his wife to reverse the car!
8. My partner is very good, the elephant is also very good to me, and I am very good to horses, rabbits, and dogs.
9. If no one in the world wants you in the future, you must remember that there is still me, and I don’t want you either.
10. I went on a trip with my best friend and rested under a tree when I was tired. Suddenly a few drops of bird poop landed on my face. Before I could react, my best friend helped me spread it evenly and said, "Your sunscreen is not evenly applied."
11. Uncle policeman, don’t worry if I lost my bag. It’s on me, so give it back to me!
12. There is a person alive, he is dead. Some people are alive and should have died long ago.
13. What is loneliness? The fifty yuan phone bill has been used for three months and has not been used up...three months!
14. I have always heard people say how great it is to book a room, and finally one day I couldn’t help but go and book a room... It’s so cool, sleeping on such a big bed all by myself!
15. It is said that this summer, people all over the country are commemorating a guy named Hot - Hot!
16. During the lecture, the female teacher’s pants were unzipped. A girl stood up and reminded her: Teacher, your door is not closed! The teacher waved her hand: Never mind that the dean will come to visit later.
17. The high profile of a low-key person is a sign of being beaten.
18. If you were a flower, no cow would dare to poop in the future.
19. A woman pretending to be better than that is called capital, and a man pretending to be better than that is called perversion.
20. Don’t be afraid of drinking dichlorvos, but be afraid of surprises when you open the lid and enjoy one more bottle.
21. Spring is here, the greenery is abundant, and he is here too, dressed in green! md, even the hat is green!
22. People like the spring breeze and hate the cold wind. In fact, the cold wind is innocent, it is the temperature that is causing trouble!
23. The computer is the microphone of the angry, it spreads our curses late at night!
24. I don’t like the girl named Jenny, but I like the one named Mani!
25. A beautiful woman said: The person who held my hand for the first time was the gentleman who read my palm.
26. It’s not that you don’t want to leave, it’s that I’m not ruthless enough.
27. Sanlu milk powder, the stepmother’s choice.
28. Taking the road of RMB will leave the people with nowhere to go!
29. Breaking up is so boring, let’s play divorce if we can!
30. Guinness Records: The world’s largest coffee table covers an area of 9.6 million square kilometers and can hold 1.3 billion cups.
31. Self-love must first be selfish. Only selfishness can lead to great love.
32. Some people always sell what they have in exchange for what they don’t have.
33. In school, I used the money to make a living, but now I use my daily life to make money!
34. Doing well in an exam depends entirely on your deskmates.
35. I despise those people who often chat with emoticons.
36. Only those who have the intention will be tired, and those who have no intention will not matter.
37. The highest state of being a man is not to pick up girls, but to let girls pick up you.
38. Being so shameless and heartless, your weight should be very light, right?
39. I saw a car on the road, and there were six words posted on the back of the car: If you are in a hurry, fly over.
40. I said you should be low-key. But you insist on giving me applause and screams.
41. Women are China Merchants Bank, and men are China Construction Bank.
42. In fact, when a person is alive, he is just a body, and when he dies, he becomes a pile of ashes.
43. My heart for you is harder than diamond. . . . . . Isn't it a heart attack?
44. When you are crazy, it is as surprising as a pig climbing a tree.
45. There is a monkey in the zoo. It is so ugly that everyone vomits! I went to see him the next day and I threw up! On the third day you went and the monkey vomited!
46. Life is like a piece of broken copper and iron. Throw it into the fire and beat it, but you can make a fine product!
47. After observing your life, I finally found the courage to live.
48. Time flies so fast, it’s dark as soon as I wake up.
49. The chemistry teacher asked, what should I do if there is a gas leak? Don't panic, light a cigarette and calm down.
50. You agreed not to make me cry, but you f*cking smoke me with onions.
51. You don’t even like me for being such a nice girl. Could it be that you like boys?
52. Boss, give me a sad haircut! Thanks!
53. Do you believe in Christianity, but the rooster still crows.
54. You take your sunny path, and I’ll take my underground path.
55. Get up earlier than a chicken, go to bed later than a cat, and earn less hair than a bald man.
56. Pretending to be mature is an act of pretending to be older.
57. Suddenly I realized that I didn’t dare to go out since I got glasses.
58. I am so lonely that even my desires have been shaken off by me.
59. Quotations from famous people. You have to be a famous person first to be famous. Other people’s farts are just famous farts! Can you compare?
60. What do young people do to get by? First-class youth rely on birth, second-class youth rely on connections, third-class youth rely on talent, fourth-class youth rely on hard work, fifth-class youth rely on literature and art, and sixth-class youth play games, travel on a budget, and watch American TV series.
61. Only those with strong abilities will be regarded as pure technicians; while those who only know how to socialize and flatter people will be considered to have no real talent and learning; therefore, in order to stand out in the unit, the most important thing is to have connections.
62. Question: What generation gaps have you encountered? Answer: Fill in the blanks with related words from primary school Chinese questions: Post-60s generation: He would rather sacrifice his life than betray the organization. Post-70s: He was afraid of sacrificing his life, so he betrayed the organization. Post-80s: Instead of sacrificing his life, he would rather betray the organization. Post-90s: Even if he sacrifices his life, he will betray the organization. Post-00s: He sacrificed his life in vain and forgot to betray the organization.
63. You are very patriotic, dedicated and strong-willed. You will not speak ill of others behind their backs or frame others. You are the least dirty person in the world. You have noble moral character. You never You will not beat others up, you are honest, kind and beautiful. Forgive me for what I just said against my will.
64. If fate grabs you by the throat, just scratch fate by the armpits.
65. My future is not a dream, my future is a nightmare!
66. I think you are really not a qualified friend. You should change your profession and be my wife!
67. What’s on my face is definitely not acne, it’s called youth.
68. If you shout a bitch on the street, you will definitely have a higher chance of turning heads than calling a beautiful woman!
69. The reason why you are so flirtatious now is because you were better than anyone else in the past. All with care.
70. There is an attitude called being a baser, and there is a state called looking for trouble when nothing happens.
71. I think China Travel will work, but I won’t pay to see if you can do it.
72. I think it’s good to make phone calls. Every word you say is valuable.
73. In fact, I am a homebody. It’s just a matter of whose home I stay at.
74. Baituoshan bone-strengthening powder, apply one pack of it once, if you want to get stabbed a second time...
75. How are you doing now? If you are not having a good time, I will feel relieved.
76. The women of **** can go to the hall, scale the wall, fight with the mistress, and beat the gangster, but they can't get out of the kitchen.
77. Who told me that Nokia can crack walnuts? Now the screen is black.
78. Life is short, it must be sexy.
79. Listen to your words and save me ten books!
80. If you don’t fall asleep in class, you will get drunk at the wine table.
81. Eating is what I want, and losing weight is what I want. I can’t have both, so I’m done with it.
82. The only three things I can do in school are watch the top students show off their grades, watch the couples show off their affection, and watch the wealthy people show off their wealth; what’s even worse is: watch the wealthy people show off their grades and watch their academic performance. Show affection and watch couples show off their wealth.
83. It’s noon on the hoeing day and it’s so hard to go to work. After going to school all morning, I still have to go to school in the afternoon. If you don’t have enough money to spend, your heart will be even more painful. For a good life, work hard!
84. As an animal, I feel a lot of pressure...
85. I am not Youlemei, I am just Dichlorvos, you Do you want to hold me in your hands?
86. Happiness is that you eat vegetarian food and I eat meat, so that you know how to struggle; you ride a bicycle and I ride a car, which makes you healthier; you sleep in a bed and I sleep in a bed, and the place is good and the people are helping you; You spend money to treat me to guests, and the money-making engine needs to be warmed up; you drink water and I drink soup, and there are good times even in ordinary times; you work hard and I am free, and you inherit the glorious tradition.
87. It’s over. I’ve almost finished thinking about you. My eyes turned blue in the middle of the night. I forgot to pay for the things I bought. I’m not even hungry for pork stewed vermicelli. 1+1=3 is not difficult anymore. Zhao Benshan looked at Sun Nan and cried so much that the RMB turned into US dollars.
88. Life is a long road, who can take a few steps forward? You need to keep your family and your lover; there is a cook at home, a good-looking one at work, a cute one outside, and someone you miss in the distance. of; keep two, keep one, and develop three, four, five, six, seven!
89. All wages are handed in, including unplanned ones; all leftovers are contracted, including sour ones; all housework is done, including at the mother-in-law’s house; thoughts are reported every day, including those that occur in a flash.
90. The girl’s confession was rejected today. The girl’s reason for rejection: We are not from the same world and we are not suitable. I want to say: Am I from Mars? Not suitable for people on earth?
91. My greatest skill is to use cheap things to produce expensive effects. Such as camera, microphone, yourself.
92. Problems that can be solved with money are not problems, but the problem is that I am poor.
93. The chicken’s resistance is to make its own meat unpalatable.
94. It’s useless to think that others can’t find me if I’m invisible. A woman as popular as me shines like a firefly in the dark no matter where she is.
95. Don’t use beauty tricks on me, otherwise I will take advantage of them.
96. The fortune teller said that I will meet the most important woman in my life when I am eighty years old. Her name is Po Meng.
97. Don’t compare yourself to me, I’m too lazy to compare with you.
98. Love is always the same across thousands of rivers and mountains, can you give me some points? There is true love in the world, and giving a perfect score is also love!
99. If marriage is the tomb of love, then blind date is to look at the feng shui of the tomb, confession is to dig one's own grave, marriage is to sacrifice one's life for love, falling in love is to move the tomb, and the third party is to rob the tomb!
100. I always lower my head in class. The teacher asked me why. I calmly replied, I lower my head and miss my hometown!