Huang Yanpei's family instructions: Want children and grandchildren to "have a smooth life", these three character ethos can't be forgotten.

Truth must be found in reason, truth must be found in things, words must be kept, and deeds must be faithful.

don't be idle, don't panic when things are complicated, keep your word, and be firm when you have no desire.

harmony is like a spring breeze, and it is like autumn frost. It is like money, and the outer circle is inside.

these dozens of words sum up the principles of "being a man" and "doing things" advocated by sages for thousands of years.

Literally, we will feel that it is almost the same as the general principle of dealing with people. However, when we think deeply, we will find that it summarizes three levels of truth and principles.

the first level is what we often call "practice". The practice here is not "meditation practice" in a narrow sense, but the behavior of practitioners.

On the second level, we should learn to "cultivate nature". We can't change people's innate character and ability, but we can cultivate our "temperament" with seven points of "personnel" in the acquired environment.

The third layer is the most important one, that is, we should learn to "cultivate the mind". What is your heart, what will happen to the world you are in and the future you encounter.

These three points are actually similar to the related themes advocated by Confucianism, Taoism and Buddhism. The so-called "Confucianism is the table, Taoism is the bone, and Buddha is the heart." Only by practicing Confucianism, Taoism and Buddhism can we better be "like a duck to water" in society.

Therefore, in the future, our family should have such a family style and background, so that our younger generation can consolidate their roots, be wise and virtuous, cultivate their morality and rule the country.

Practice: Don't be grandiose when dealing with others, but be down-to-earth

In the first layer of Huang Yanpei's family instructions, we can find that most of the words he used were "despised" by a considerable number of young people in this era.

the so-called "seeking truth from facts, keeping promises and being faithful." In the eyes of many people, to be such a person is not to be an honest sucker. I really can't do it.

why do most people feel this way now? Because they are influenced by the "fast-paced" social atmosphere, their hearts have changed, and they think that the more grandiose and fast things are, the more suitable they are for the present.

such three views and ideas are indeed an addition to the present era, but they are harmful to young people.

think about it, if you are grandiose and have no bottom line of principles, then the more you live, the more you will feel without foundation, confidence and reality.

Just like many people nowadays, when they come out to work after graduation, they stop working when they see the "996" job. When they meet the so-called connections, they blindly win over, and when they meet the so-called trends, they blindly follow suit, losing their inner sense of stability and practicality.

A writer once said, "The people who can finally succeed in this society are not incompetent people who can only complain and talk, but practical people who are willing to do practical things and work hard. Maybe you can't see the gap within a year, but after ten or twenty years, the gap will come out. "

to be a man, you still have to be down-to-earth and understand what is right and wrong and what is true and false. In this way, the road for our children and grandchildren can be smoother and smoother.

Self-cultivation: the character is like water, and when it is strong, it will be strong, and it will not be arrogant or impetuous.

Su Xun wrote in "The Book of Rights and Mind": "Mount Tai collapses in front and its color remains the same, while the elk thrives on the left without blinking."

No matter what happens, no matter what temptations we encounter, we must have our own character and ideas in life, and don't always be in a panic and follow others.

As Huang Yanpei emphasized in his family training, "Don't panic when things are complicated, but be just when you have no desire."

The more problems there are, the more anxious people's hearts will be, and even some people will be confused, so that what they have done in the past and what they have achieved will fall short.

So, how should we teach children to be calm? Then they need to understand the nature of "water".

Lao Tzu has a saying: "goodness is like water, and water is good for everything without dispute. ? The husband is not arguing, so there is nothing special. "

a big river that never stops flowing, it can not only flow slowly when it is calm, but also accumulate its own strength in the dark, and it can also be strong when it meets strong waves, with a thunderous momentum.

Only in this way can people be in a state of "both offensive and defensive, both offensive and defensive" all their lives, instead of being arrogant when they are successful and losing their footing when they are frustrated.

in addition, the general character of "water" has another feature, that is, let nature take its course, and be rigid without desire.

Because it is plain, I will not underestimate people or myself; Because there is no excessive desire, many things can be done calmly, and even unexpected good results may appear.

All this is impossible for anxious people. And people, only by learning the character of "water", can make the water of life flow continuously.

cultivate one's mind: be calm, be neither humble nor supercilious, and be inside the outer circle

In Huang Yanpei's family training, there are eight words that are the focus of the whole family training, and that is "take the image from money and be inside the outer circle" related to Confucianism.

if people want to survive better in society, it is not enough to rely solely on straightforward temper and mind. Because the water in society is too deep, if we don't have a "machine change" way of doing things, it will be easily "lost" by the people of the world.

Therefore, we must be like "copper coins". Although our appearance is extremely smooth, we must be square, clear and frank at heart.

Just like when people are in the workplace, if they don't know how to adapt to the environment and the working mode there, then, after all, they will offend more people and address fewer people and dig their own holes.

and people, if they are too smooth to lose their own principles and bottom line, are harmful to society and families. In this way, the principle of "inside" is very important.

then, that's what people want to cultivate their minds for. When we are "outside the circle and inside", we will find that when we treat others and do things ourselves? , can do "and if the spring breeze, if the autumn frost".

when you should be kind, you should be kind; when you should be serious, you should be serious, with clear boundaries and flexible roles. Otherwise, we will go all the way to the dark and hit a wall everywhere.

Speaking of this, I can't help but think of a sentence in "Notes on the Deep Window": "Don't be humiliated, just watch the flowers bloom in front of the court; I have no intention of staying or staying, and I am full of clouds and clouds. "

be calm, be indifferent, be kind to others, and be skillful in dealing with others. In this way, people can be "successful all their lives" and be so safe.

In the future life, we might as well educate our children and grandchildren, so that they can understand that spiritual cultivation is an indispensable compulsory course in life.

There are deer in Wen/Shushan.