In the golden family, why did Jin Yanxi work so hard to pursue Leng Qingqiu, but fell out of love after marriage?

There was such a classic in my youth, which can be called "A Dream of Red Mansions" in the Republic of China.

I don’t know if "The Golden Family" reminds you of Jin Yanxi as brilliant as a sunflower, or of the cold autumn as elegant as a lily, or of the rise and fall of a big family. Sometimes when I think about this drama, I often think of why Jin Yanxi failed Leng Qingqiu.

Many people are curious: Why did these two people drift apart in the end?

In fact, the saddest part of this story is that Jin Yanxi and Leng Qingqiu did not drift away, but they never really got close.

In the early days of their acquaintance, Qingqiu said: Different people will not come together, just like the grapevines in my yard, how can they bear lilies? On the wedding night, he indeed prepared lilies all over the ground.

Qingqiu asked: Will you always like me? But Yanxi did not answer.

You see, there were actually clues from the beginning, but in that brilliant moment, reason lost to emotion. Did Yanxi really love Qingqiu? At least that's what he thinks.

Leng Qingqiu, this name always reminds people of the sentence: Passion has hurt separation since ancient times, and it is even more unworthy of being left out in the Qingqiu Festival. Love at first sight, secret feelings.

Whether she is a playboy or stubborn, he likes her. There is no vulgarity about pink and white, her eyes are like a clear spring, and her every frown and smile are full of aura.

As his name suggests, he is as light as water, cold and arrogant and independent. She is a woman who is half new and half old. The new one has a rebellious spirit, but the old one is too honest and honest, which is very contradictory.

Attention at first sight, pursuit at second sight, and love at third sight. People always remember that life is just like the first time they met, but they forget: Why is the autumn wind sad and painted on the fan?

Kids from rich families naturally use various methods to pursue girls. Of course, these methods are also applicable now, and sometimes they even work well. Use status and money to please the girl's parents and gain favor.

No expense was spared to rent the house next door and gain the opportunity to be close. Display love with high-profile banners on campus to satisfy the other person's vanity. Romantic thoughts create surprises in the sea of ​​flowers to satisfy girls' hearts.

Yes, many people say that the tragedy of this marriage is the result of her vanity. But this is only part of it, and it cannot be entirely blamed on Qingqiu. After all, she is an inexperienced high school student. Yan Xi once gave her a pearl necklace worth nearly a thousand yuan. She couldn't bear to let it go after stroking it on her body, so Mrs. Leng had no choice but to let her keep it first, and finally accepted it.

It can be seen from this aspect that even if she is talented in poetry and calligraphy, she will inevitably have a natural love for beauty and vanity. She's not that money-worshiping, and she doesn't pretend to be noble. She's just a normal young lady from a poor family.

Because the elders and wet nurses in the family are really poor, they really like to take advantage of themselves. She is still young and has not seen the world (a high school student of sixteen or seventeen years old), so she is easily impressed by Jin Yanxi's various sugar-coated bullets.

Under the huge class gap, she received unprecedented care and protection. He is like the sun in life, warm and blazing, melting her who is cold.

Having lost her father since she was a child, she lacks fatherly love and longs for a father-like person to love and protect her. However, she mistook romance for reality. There is a difference between gorgeous love and steady affection.

My uncle’s arrangement, my mother’s inaction. The family left the choice to an inexperienced girl and pushed towards a seemingly bright future.

As for Jin Yanxi, she has been involved in the Vanity Fair since she was a child, and she can handle open and covert fights with ease. I have met countless famous ladies, watched movies and had drinks at parties, so I have rich social experience. His love for Qingqiu is that he has seen enough of the gorgeous peonies and peonies, and at first sight the fresh lilies. I took the trouble to get it, and although I wanted to treat her sincerely, I was just in my prime, and my heart was not willing to give up and live a simple life guarding Lily.

After all, how can a young master with a serious sense of fun suddenly have such certainty? That is the state that mature people can have after seeing all the prosperity and vicissitudes of life before they can turn a cold eye on the world.

From this point of view, he is selfish, and this feeling is not much love. Because love requires the most ability, a sense of security, appreciation and respect, and the restraint of one's own behavior.

He doesn't have it. He likes lilies, so he can break the flowers and live or die as he pleases. This is exactly not true love.

And the reason why he is particularly interested in Qingqiu is because of another factor - Bai Xiuzhu. He and Bai Xiuzhu had a good relationship at the beginning, but after seeing Bai Xiuzhu's willful temper, he became more determined to find a "docile" wife.

At this time, Leng Qingqiu began to enter Jin Yanxi’s fiancée inspection list. From the very beginning, Jin Yanxi had been counting on Leng Qingqiu to be less jealous than Bai Xiuzhu.

With Yan Xi’s excellent background, flexible social skills and considerate and romantic temperament, it is actually easy to impress a girl.

Jin Yanxi first gave the Leng family the following gifts:

After moving into Luohua Hutong, they gave snacks and wine; (Song Runqing came to pay a return visit)

With In honor of his apprenticeship, he was given a shark's fin banquet; (Mrs. Leng gave in return the embroidery embroidered by Qingqiu herself)

Six pieces of silk and satin clothes; (Song Runqing gave in return two books)

A pair of shoes; (none) Rebate)

A box ticket to the theater and a banquet after the theater; (no rebate)

A painting; (Qingqiu himself wrote a painting as a reward)

A pearl necklace worth about two thousand yuan; (Qingqiu made a cake as a reward)

A gold engagement ring; (no reward)

Recommended errands to Song Runqing and took the initiative to lend it to her Three hundred yuan; (no rebate)

However, chasing her is different after all. This time he not only lost money, time and effort, but also lost his soul.

He thinks this is love, because he has never put so much thought and love into anyone, even if he is a playboy.

During the pursuit, it is not so much about falling in love as it is about enjoying the vanity of being watched by others.

Women like to be envied, and men like to chase prey that is recognized as difficult to catch. The two performed a vigorous play and were envied and watched by others, so they got into the play and felt that each other was a unique golden boy and girl.

The support from their family further promoted their development. They first met half a year ago, and they are still married and pregnant for life.

Married life is different from the relationship period.

When you are in love, you have enough to drink and drink, but marriage is not good. After marriage, you face tea, rice, oil, salt, sauce, vinegar and tea every day. Life habits, consumer class, friend circle... these are all intertwined. between two people.

Each of them has not adapted to this huge change.

At first, he spent all day chatting, walking, and visiting the garden with her at home. Later, they gradually lived the most comfortable life in the past.

Leng Qingqiu had two completely different images before and after marriage. Before marriage, she was an ignorant girl who was tempted by material things. After marriage, she was an independent woman with a rebellious spirit.

She is introverted and does not like to socialize. After marriage, she did not get involved with other young ladies playing cards and gossiping, and spent all day studying at home to cultivate her character.

Yan Xi is active by nature and indulges in a decadent life of feasting and feasting all day long, playing cards, watching movies, partying and drinking, and doing nothing in her career. ?Qingqiu began to be unable to understand his lavish spending and could not tolerate his behavior as a child of a rich family.

They went through the process from discussions and quarrels to cold wars to reconciliation time and time again, and they also came to the way of getting along: non-interference with each other.

Seeing this, you may want to ask, has Jin Yanxi changed after her marriage?

In fact, when the two first met, the book describes Yan Xi’s psychology like this:

As soon as he returned to the room, he thought of the girl in Luohua Hutong and thought, Boss If so, it’s really good. When it comes to having a girlfriend, it is naturally a new type of woman in the social scene.

But if you want to be partners for a hundred years and take care of the family affairs, it is better to be more simple. If I marry that girl back, I think her love must be pure and her person must be very gentle. It's definitely not like a woman in a social scene. Not only can't you interfere with her actions, but she will also interfere with yours.

As far as appearance is concerned, that kind of natural beauty is better than the people who jump out of the pile of makeup and powder in the social scene. Okay, that's it.

So it is not difficult to see that Jin Yanxi thought clearly from the beginning: there is a difference between a girlfriend and a married wife.

He believes that his wife must be simple, dedicated, gentle and not care about him. The appearance cannot be the rouge and vulgar powder among the piles of powder.

And Leng Qingqiu couldn’t be more suitable.

In this way, it cannot be said that Jin Yanxi changed her mind after marriage. He is always selfish, carefree, rebellious and playful.

But in Qingqiu's heart, he was indeed different from before marriage. Because Qingqiu didn't know what Jin Yanxi wanted, she still thought about the beauty of their first acquaintance.

Can we say that Jin Yanxi is a scumbag?

In fact, he represents the contradictory nature of most men today. He can be affectionate and unlucky at the same time.

What’s even more unfortunate is that if Qingqiu before marriage was just an ignorant and innocent student, after marriage she gradually became more independent and thoughtful, so when she saw Yanxi’s bad habits, she Even more unpleasant to the eye.

However, for the sake of their peaceful and harmonious relationship, Qingqiu took a step back and stopped being arrogant. She chose to ignore and let go.

A man who loses control is like a wild horse that has escaped the reins. He is busy socializing and entertaining all day long, and comes home late after drinking. A young man with no life skills relies on his family for all his living expenses, but he still spends a lot of money. He never thought about sharing the burden for his father and doing his part for the family.

As for Qingqiu, she entered a circle of aristocratic young women who fought openly and secretly. She didn't know how to play both sides, and she didn't like to blend in with them.

The family rules of the Jin family have always prohibited the female family members from working to make a living. Yanxi has no income, and she has always been independent and wants to earn an income for the family.

She went out to work as a private school teacher every day. When her family found out, her mother got angry and accused her.

She cried and felt that she had done nothing wrong.

If your husband doesn’t live up to expectations, you can work hard, so there’s nothing wrong with that.

At this time Yan Xi saw her pitiful appearance and comforted her.

But what is even more helpless is that he still refuses to find a serious job to reassure his wife, and is still confused.

He could not see her needs, and she could not hear his prayers.

In the final analysis, Zhang Henshui really understands women. He is well aware of women’s obsessions and pains. Whether Leng Qingqiu was a schoolgirl, a young mistress, or in the last period of her life, her Qingqiu temperament, just like her name, ran through it all and never disappeared.

Premier Kim died of illness, and the trees fell and the hozens scattered. Old friends from the past avoided suspicion, and the Jin family encountered a financial crisis and eventually collapsed.

The four sons used to only live in extravagance and debauchery, and were completely unable to shoulder the burden of taking care of the big family. The concubine Sanfang had four sons and four daughters, each of whom made a living and left the Jin Mansion.

Jin Yanxi has never worked, and even his fair-weather friends are unwilling to lend a helping hand. He is conceited and unwilling to do what he considers to be a lowly job.

Quarrels, constant quarrels.

There is no longer the peace and harmony of the past.

She was sick at home taking care of her newborn child, but he didn't come home every night.

So she expressed her dissatisfaction and he yelled at her.

Then she was disappointed and he left.

The TV series has indeed beautified the character of Jin Yanxi. There is a description like this in the book:

Yanxi said: "It doesn't matter if you meet your friends late. "

Qingqiu asked: "Which friend is it?"

Yan Xi took off all her clothes and put them all in the drawer of a drawer. He closed the drawer hard and said harshly: "I love to come back at this time. I may not come back all night. Can you take care of it? If you interfere like this, that's okay! Let me give you a piece of advice. Don't worry about it. My own business!”

According to the writing in the book, this is undoubtedly a scumbag.

This is not difficult to understand.

Because what they fell in love with was just the other person’s personality.

Qingqiu in Yan Xi’s eyes: youthful, talented, and unconventional.

So after marriage, even if he cares about daily necessities, or is jealous about the time when his husband comes home, for him, it goes against the personality of the woman he fell in love with in the first place.

As for Yanxi, in Qingqiu's eyes: a powerful gentleman, talented, knowledgeable, romantic, and extremely in love with himself.

But after marriage, the prodigal son is carefree, irresponsible, and unmotivated. He is not as infinitely tolerant of her actions or creating romance as he was before marriage.

There is another reason why Jin Yanxi’s attitude changed drastically after his marriage - the so-called Qi Dafei is not that your lover will deliberately bully you based on your family background, but that he will unconsciously adopt different methods. standards to treat you.

Just like Jin Yanxi versus Bai Xiuzhu, even when she is disgusted in her heart, she still has to maintain the superficial affection. However, he could easily blurt out the words "divorce" to Leng Qingqiu.

Despaired, he got in touch with Miss Bai Xiuzhu again.

He knew that she could bring him out of his abject situation and restore his lost status.

Qingqiu heard that he and Bai Xiuzhu were going to Germany together.

She said: If I had known that you and Miss Bai were a couple, I would have made it possible for you.

He said: What I said has never changed, never.

But the feelings mixed with too many misunderstandings and quarrels have long exhausted the original sweetness. Two people with more than enough heart but not enough strength are like two wheels in opposite directions heading towards the rolling world. Love or not is no longer a reason to continue walking together.

Some people say that it was a mistake for these two people to come together, and they were doomed to have a tragic ending from the beginning.

If Jin Yanxi and Bai Xiuzhu marry, not only will it not harm Leng Qingqiu's life, it will also be of great benefit to the Jin family and Jin Yanxi herself. And with Bai Xiuzhu's temperament of living for love and dying for love, if Bai Xiongqi wants to clean up the Jin family, Bai Xiuzhu will definitely try his best to stop it.

And Leng Qingqiu, together with Ouyang Yujian, will have his own small fortune, have his own career, and will not have to suffer the overthrow of the Jin family.

However, if we go back in time and ask these two people to get to know each other again and choose again, I believe that Jin Yanxi will still be in love with Leng Qingqiu, and Leng Qingqiu will still marry him.

So, the real tragedy of "The Golden Family" is:

No one can escape from this plain. Leng Qingqiu is, so is Jin Yanxi.