Degang Guo said that there are three kinds of people: the rich, the slaves and the rich.

Degang Guo

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Actor's lines

The poor and the rich

Horse fine hair long hoof fertilizer

A son stealing from his father is not a thief.

The blind uncle married the blind grandmother.

The old couple have lived for most of their lives.

Nobody saw anyone.

I'm going to tell you a stand-up comedy called the theory of poor and rich. This is our traditional program. In fact, everyone is familiar with the words poor and rich. What is poverty? No money, little money, this is poverty. What is wealth? This is relative. If you have money, you have more money. This is called wealth. But one thing, you remember, money, whether it's a penny or a million, must be beaten on the floor. Never be generous if you are stingy, and never be stingy if you are generous. Paying too much attention to money is not good for yourself or others. Poverty doesn't matter. Ah, people are not born with money. They work hard and will not be lazy the day after tomorrow. What's more, some people can't spend money, and some people have money to spend. This is all brainless.

As for the control of money, there are three kinds of people, one is the rich and the other is the rich slave.

What do you mean, a rich man? I buy a pair of pants for four thousand yuan. This pair of trousers costs four thousand yuan, ah, four thousand yuan for a pair of trousers. Look at that. Of course, I'm not 4 thousand, I'm 18 thousand Put on this, alas, 4,000 yuan, buy a pair of pants, and sit there. I can't sit here. I have to stand. I had to poke and walk slowly in the corridor, saying that I was tired here and had a rest on the side of the road. I can't rest. I dare not sit. Can I be wronged on the ground? I can't sit and poke, just stand alive and let this money be yours. What's wrong with 5000 yuan? Sit anywhere. Let's sit down. Let's sit down. Let's sit down. I'm not tired. This is the rich man. I can control money. I am the owner of money. This is the rich man.

Some people burn money. Why? With some money, this man is not like a man. With 400 yuan in his pocket, he will die, losing 30 years. What's the matter? 400 yuan. I don't usually have that kind of money with me. For special reasons, I will put 400 yuan on my body and put it in my pocket. Let's go to the street. Take three steps, wait a minute, be practical. Three more steps, wait a minute, three steps to touch, three steps to touch, walking, reaching out and touching, "Oops" is broken, the money is gone, the face is white, and Mao Ji is sitting on the ground. Look for it, "Oh, here it is." Talk to whom, chat for a while, "It's a beautiful day today, wait a minute", count, "Have you eaten?" Four hundred dollars a month can't be used, it's just a blank sheet of paper. Money burns, a little money, he talks nonsense. This is a kind of person.

There is another kind of person, the slave of wealth, who just ... takes him to get the money. There is only one slave to money. Some people say that in the past, some people said that the old rich man in the countryside was a slave who looked after money. This is the kind of person who has money at home and occupies the room. How much money does the bank deposit? The two banks are called four merchants. The more such people are, the more reluctant they are to spend. Look at those who weigh thirty or fifty. They are willing to spend. Too much weight is not good, 9000, and then 1000, that's 10 thousand. Don't move. Put it away. It means that you didn't eat, endure one day, and you can get 50 tomorrow. Do not move.

Old rich people always do this. How to spend money at home all day is his call. Children, whether they are four sons and five daughters, no matter how many people, should be in charge, including eating, and should be mixed with bran. Cooking is boiled in water, Chinese cabbage is chopped, and even the roots and leaves are put in the pot. Boil it in white water, and then put four pounds of salt for everyone to eat. Let the old man do it himself when putting oil, saying that others are not at ease when putting oil. When the old man comes, he will save one yuan of oil for food. Some people say that one yuan of oil is enough for cooking. It's not like that. There is an oil bottle with a chopstick in it and an old piece of money tied to its head. When the oil was almost drained, the old man came over, lifted the chopsticks, dipped them, took them out, threw the money into the pot, dipped them in cabbage, and quickly took them back. Poof, he put the chopsticks back in the bottle. Half a catty of oil, half a catty of oil on New Year's Eve, and more than eight taels left on New Year's Day-bring back half a bottle of water.

At home, there are a lot of bran all day long. Who can eat? The children gathered around him and took a bite. The old man said happily, "Oh, our family was lucky at first and didn't eat much." After eating and drinking enough, he went out to collect dung. For example, I live in Daxing, because a bubble of horse manure can catch up with Gu 'an and travel 60 miles back and forth. He left. He cooks at home. He can do whatever he wants. Oh, I don't know when he will come back. But at this time, I was cooking, and the weather came up and broke down. The old man will come back soon, which will be fatal to see meat and wine. What shall we do? There is a way to catch a handful of soybeans and scatter them at the gate. Wow, it's okay to eat yours. When the old man came back, he cursed the street: "Oh, who is so horrible? How many soybeans are these? It's killing me. " Pick it up, pick it up one by one, and when it's over, you'll wake up inside and everything will be over.

So this man has been wronged all his life and still feels very comfortable. Ah, I usually drink and smoke, but I'm very thoughtful. When drinking, he drinks one or two glasses of wine and the water in the bucket. Tell yourself: eat less wine, know more and have a little taste. What if I smoke? How can I enter the city? In the past, a businessman in this city provided cigarettes to his guests. For example, we go there to sell fabrics. Tianjin has a cloth street and Beijing has an overpass. You can see the whole street. The doors on both sides sell cloth. Old clothes are good and bad. Generally speaking, it's dark inside. What, there are palms on the clothes, and there is another one? And there is such a rule that people who sell fabrics don't care when they go out. It's good for you to look here. It's such a big pit to go out. Come back, people don't care, and they don't admit it. This is the rule.

At this time, the old man wanted to smoke and went to town. As soon as he saw the cloth shop, he stood at the door and invited him in at once. "Come in, come in", let him sit here, "Look at anything", "You can choose anything", "Bring me the fur coat" and bring me the fur coat. He bent down to look for it. What is that? Look for the palm, look for the hole: "ah", just one finger. What about the fabric? I have an idea. The boy sitting in the back is standing with a cigarette. When the host in front saw it, he quickly took it, made a gesture with his lips and handed it to him behind: "You smoke one." When this one took the cigarette, his hand fell over there and his palm fell behind. He held a cigarette and looked at the clothes. This is almost finished, he found another one: "Oh, here", ordered another one, and then fell down, and he ordered another one.

There are 40 families in this trip and everyone smokes. Sitting and smoking, smoking three or five cigarettes, people also ask: "What do you buy?" "Oh, what are you selling?" "Everything." "Oh, do you have cabbage?" , "no". That's it.

Come out, change one and put it here. "Come on, old man, sit here. Here, look at this one. " Take it off. Oh, here, cigarettes, come on,

Cigarettes, light this every day. Of course, it's useless after a long time. Six months later, when I came in again, the waiter asked, "What do you want?" And "Let me see." The shopkeeper came over and said, "Ignore him, he's here to buy cabbage."