A collection of super cute and hilarious sentences
1. Stay with me, at least I love you more than others.
2. I have practiced Qigong and can make people angry to death.
3. There is a kind of sadness called, I reply to you in seconds, and you reply to me in reincarnation.
4. Others are hitting the wall. It will definitely be very profitable for me to build the wall.
5. It’s New Year’s Eve only if you have a girlfriend. The best you can do is stay up late.
6. If you fall down, stand up, change a good-looking posture and then fall down again.
7. I am willing to be your audience and watch you show off from beginning to end.
8. You are the pig that I care about most from afar.
9. They say women are made of water, so am I! It’s just that I’m made of soda and I’m irritable.
10. They say silence is golden. I have been silent for so long, but why haven’t I seen gold?
11. People living in some areas are so pitiful. It rains almost every day.
12. When I grow up, I realize that life still needs a little bit of acting skills.
13. Come hang out with me. If I have a bite to eat, you will have a bowl to wash.
14. I always feel that my personality is not suitable for working and is only suitable for receiving a salary.
15. It’s holiday, buy a globe, the world is so big, you can not only look at it, but also go around it.
16. The ugly stroke is 4, the poor stroke is 7, and the sum equals 11. This is the reason for being single.
17. My mother said that I can’t be an indifferent person, so I am very indifferent.
18. In fact, Tang Seng was also pretty sexy. He would call the ugly ones the donors, and the good-looking ones he would call the female Bodhisattvas.
19. Share the blessings together, and you will grow the meat.
20. Remember to raise your head and chest, otherwise others will see your double chin.
21. Don’t fall in love with someone just because your brain is full of water, just in case the water dries up one day.
22. There are three types of girls, one is for the heart, one is for the kidneys, and one is for the flow.
23. When a boy cheats on a girl, it is called teasing; when a girl cheats on a boy, it is called seduction; when men and women cheat on each other, it is called affection.
24. Let go of my waist and come to my breasts if you have the ability.
25. When you comfort others, you do it in one way. When you comfort yourself, you only think about it. Find a set of ropes.
26. The stars in the sky are so beautiful. Can you pick a few for me and put them in my rank?
27. Parents deceiving their children is called education; children deceiving their parents is called deception. ; Mutual deception is called the generation gap.
28. Someone told me that there is nothing more complicated than love in this world. I threw a math book in his face. A collection of super funny quotes
1. What’s wrong with being poor? Should you be laughed at if you are poor? Hold your head up, hold your chest out, and let everyone see that you are not only poor, but also ugly.
2. Forgive me for running all the way just to eat.
3. If you want someone to never forget you, the best way is to borrow money from him and then not pay it back.
4. Ever since I turned into shit, no one has stepped on me anymore.
5. If other people’s classes have good discipline, good grades, and good sports, then our class will be happy.
6. The farthest distance in the world is not the distance between life and death. But I stand in front of my future mother-in-law, but I can only call her aunt!
7. Come here, there are three words that have been hidden in my heart for a long time, can you get away!
p>
8. If you don’t like me, you can choose to commit suicide or pretend to be blind.
9. I seem to like you, so why are you talking like you've had sex with me?
10. As soon as I chat with you, you say oh oh oh uh uh uh uh uh Reply to me like I'm raping you.
11. Sometimes what we miss is not the love we once had, but the weight we once lost!
12. Xiao Ming got a score of 0 in the math test yesterday. Xiao Ming prayed to God to do it again, No. 2 Tian Xiaoming also scored 0 points in the Chinese test
13. Little black dog, your express delivery. Uncle, my name is Xiao Mo
14. You have to remember that no matter how estranged we become in the end, a red envelope can bring us back to the beginning.
15. I was in the elevator today. A man on the elevator opened a pack of chocolates and gave one to each person. He didn’t give it to me, so I reached out and asked for one. He was stunned for a while and gave me one. At 5 Downstairs, they all went downstairs, and I realized that they all knew each other, oh shit! I actually reached out and asked for one!
16. Your closest experience to death was when you were almost killed by the sperm from behind 14 years ago Catch up
17. My mother took me on a blind date at night, and I was stunned as soon as I entered the restaurant! This is my first love when I was in the first grade of junior high school, okay! Then I pretended not to know him. Her father praised me: This young man is good! He looks like a good boy at first sight! I want to say: Uncle, you don’t recognize me anymore! I remember when you chased and beat me in the playground and said you were the only one who dared to hook up with my daughter? Believe it or not, I will break your dog legs for hooking up! It’s okay now! In the end, you still sent it to me obediently!
18. Now you are looking for Prince Charming, you are out, now you are looking for Prince BMW .
19. There is no fate between you and me, it all depends on my appearance.
20. Be kind to your boyfriend in the future, after all, he is the most discerning person in the world.
21. If you are willing to peel off my heart layer by layer, you will go to jail, I tell you.
22. You said that onions are magical and are the only fruits and vegetables that can make people cry. I don’t want to deny you, but the last time I was hit on the foot by a durian, I cried for a whole day.
23. What should I do with you, steam or braise it?
24. Some people actually think that the new version of the RMB is ugly. No matter what he looks like, I will always love him. What I care about is not his appearance. I think this is what is called true love.
25. There are only two types of mathematical proof questions, one is shit, which still needs proof, and the other is shit, which can also be proved.
26. For singles, Valentine’s Day is like an aunt, it hurts every time it comes. A collection of silly, cute and funny stories
1. My future son, tell me where to run towards your father~
2. If you do something wrong, you will never be able to do it again. Restored just like you and me.
3. No matter how many tears you give me, the indifference you give me
4. I left gently, just as I came gently, I waved my sleeves and took away only A bundle of cabbage
5. The kindness of a drop of water should be repaid by a spring. When I lend you a dime, please return a hundred.
6. Eyes are the windows to the soul, and bags under the eyes are the window sill of the soul.
7. Don’t be too nice to me, lest I commit myself to you.
8. When you go out, please remember: you must return the cow B to the cow!
9. Housing prices are getting higher and higher, so there are fewer and fewer good men.
10. Who says boys can’t wear ultra-short mini skirts. Lord, I'll wear it.
11. Question: What do you like about me? Answer: I like you to stay away from me.
12. If you take a quick look at you, you are not very good, but if you take a closer look, it is better to take a quick look.
13. A paragraph will tell you what it means to be a homebody. Before graduating from college in four years I wandered around in the school park and got lost.
14. Don’t be too nice to me, lest I commit myself to you.
15. Don’t think that I am happy╭It’s just that you don’t understand my pain.
16. Your shooting results are really bad. If I were you, I would commit suicide immediately , just in case you want to bring more bullets.
17. Don’t be too nice to me, lest I commit myself to you.
18. I like daytime because I can daydream during the day.
19. On Valentine’s Day, I must go to the supermarket and crush all the chocolates to see who can give them away!
20. I will call you again. (In the next life!)
21. Don’t be too nice to me, lest I commit myself to you.
22. Women like two flowers in their lives: one is to spend money when they have it, and the other is to spend it as much as possible!
23. It seems that you are a complete loser, just a loser, just a loser.
24. If a person is not serious, even his headache will be localized.
25. Notice: As Mother's Day is approaching, to celebrate, all women's toilets and bathrooms are open to you for free. Welcome!
26. I always like to spend money to buy miscellaneous things, only to find out later that I have no money. . . .
27. Meng’s mother was worried that Mencius would neglect his studies, so she moved her family to the city. There was a slaughterhouse next to it. Mencius quickly learned to kill pigs and sheep. Meng's mother had no choice but to move her family near the university. Soon Mencius learned to play Dota.
28. Don’t be too nice to me, lest I commit myself to you.
29. I never lie, except for this sentence.
30. Don’t panic when someone says you have changed. It’s just because you no longer live according to their way.
31. The sharp entanglement is so beautiful.
32. Hitting means kissing and scolding means loving. I always scold your mother, and I am almost falling in love with your mother.
33. Putting a photo of your wife in your wallet is to remind yourself how the money in your wallet is gone.
34. You cannot miss yourself, you cannot take care of your pain, you cannot get your results, you cannot give yourself happiness.
35. Don’t be too nice to me, lest I commit myself to you.
36. Every time I look in the mirror, the courage to live comes back.
37. The farthest distance in the world is not between life and death, but when you are invisible and I am online, but when I am online, you are invisible.
38. The so-called growth is to force a person to be strong
39. I once stupidly made that unattainable wish in my heart and burst into tears when my boss came to me.
40. I will throw a brick first, and if there is jade, just throw it over.
41. We are good friends. If you fall, I will help you up, but you have to wait until I finish laughing. 42. Don’t forget what you said tomorrow. Don't stop because of tomorrow's thorns,
43. I will pass on my menstrual fluid (experience) to you!
44. Have you ever poured some Coke into a red wine glass and then drank it elegantly?
45. There are two words that hurt millions of netizens, school starts.
46. I will throw a brick first, and if there is jade, just throw it over.
47. Time is a selfless monitor, monitoring all living beings.
48. Because I didn’t succeed because I can only sing. No one can succeed casually.
49. When I met you and saw you in my most beautiful time, it seemed that all my troubles would be forgotten.
50. I will throw a brick first, and if there is jade, feel free to throw it at me.
51. A good student is a good student, but it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t study.
52. I will throw a brick first, and if there is jade, just throw it over.
53. It is impossible to draw an equal sign between the past and the present.
54. We promised each other to be each other’s boyfriend and girlfriend at the same time, but your departure ruined the relationship.
55. The key to losing weight is hunger, and exercise is the most useless Yes, at most it is auxiliary. But if you want to lose weight through exercise, it’s impossible.
56. Outside the window, there are stars, the bright moon is in the sky, the wind blows the flowers and falls, and the thoughts also dissipate with the wind to the end of the world.
57. Don’t use your life to challenge my driving skills, you can’t afford to get hurt!
58. I will throw a brick first, and if there is jade, just throw it over.
59. The swan would be lonely without the toad.
60. Details will tell you who is really good to you
61. Searching for him on Baidu, unexpectedly he is on Sogou.
62. When you fall in love at first sight, it’s not the love, but the face. . .
63. If I could celebrate Children's Day again, would anyone still play games with me?
64. I'll throw a brick first, and if there's any jade, just throw it at me.
65. No news can be believed until it is officially denied.
66. If fate makes you lose a Dalang, it will definitely give you a Dalang in the end
67. I try to fill the days, but Chinese Valentine’s Day comes to remind me that I have How lonely
68. A tailor who doesn’t want to be a cook is not a good driver. Super funny talk
1. Underwear is like knowledge, invisible, but very important.
2. Cover up sadness, loneliness and sigh, the first experience of love.
3. Sorry, there is no gender suitable for you in the public toilet.
4. Driving on the road is not difficult, except for the newcomers!
5. The person burning incense may not be a monk, but a panda!
6. Close your left eye and what I see is your cute shyness.
7. I regard money as dirt, and my father regards me as a septic tank.
8. Your smile is always in my mind and makes me unforgettable.
9. Don’t be too nice to me, lest I promise you my life but don’t want it anymore.
10. The academic masters are almost done, so don’t learn too much and be separated from the masses.
11. What happened in the class? I don’t know, I’ll start by making noise first.
12. The weather is so cold that it’s like a joke, and life is like nonsense.
13. As the saying goes, if you freeze something three feet deep, it cannot be thawed without a microwave oven!
14. Instant noodles are indeed very convenient, but cooking them still requires electricity.
15. Whoever can improve my grades will be yours, including my life.
16. Thank you for stealing my partner and letting me know that he is just like a dog.
17. The greatest tragedy for a person is that he is unwilling to be himself.
18. You should also learn from Tencent and call me “honey” as soon as you go online.
19. You are like a fairy descending from the Nine Heavens to earth, but unfortunately you land on your face first.
20. Don’t wear such thick foundation when you go out, it will make it hard to see what you look like.
21. I am waiting for someone, someone who can stay with me for a long, long time.
22. I wanted to learn Phoenix Nirvana, but who knew I would accidentally learn it!
23. Read thousands of books, travel thousands of miles, make thousands of dollars, and become a heartthrob!
24. If you can’t explain clearly to your instructor, then just confuse him!
25. There are many ways to destroy friendship, and the most thorough one is to borrow money.
26. You are in my special care, but not among my recent visitors.
27. Being low-key doesn’t mean I don’t shine, and being kind doesn’t mean I am weak.
28. You can hit my deskmate, but I warn you not to hurt me accidentally.
29. Make more efforts while you are still alive, because we will all be dead for a long time.
30. When the weather gets cold, the place I want to go to most is in your arms besides the bed.
31. People who don’t like me can cause trouble in your heart. I feel really comfortable.
32. A quick glance at you will tell you that you are not very good, but a closer look at you is worse than a sharp look at you.
33. Now you are looking for Prince Charming, you are out, now you are looking for Prince BMW.
34. Women are like clothes. What I wear is a brand that ordinary men can never afford.
35. Regarding grades, you are a bitch, always driving a wedge between my parents and me.
36. Sleep is an art. No one can stop me from pursuing art.
37. I remember that two years ago I was single and still an aristocrat, but why have I become a dog in the past two years?
38. The time is right, the location is right, the emotion is right, but the character is wrong!
39. It’s okay to scold you in normal times. Only when I hit you will you know that I am both civil and military.
40. The wife is the TV and the mistress is the mobile phone. Watch TV at home and take the mobile phone with you when going out.
41. On a whim, I used your photo as a desktop, and F*ck it got infected by a computer virus.
42. After the sports meeting, some people won rankings, while some people became emoticons.
43. If other people’s classes have good discipline, good grades, and good sports, then our class will be happy.
44. People have searched for her thousands of times, but suddenly looking back, that person still dismissed me
45. Feelings have always been a double-edged sword, which can hurt others. Injure yourself.
46. God, I will never call you father again. You don’t love me as your granddaughter at all.
47. I am the chewing gum in your hair. If you want to get rid of me, you will have to cut off your hair.
48. There is a kind of love in relationships, which is called letting go. When love goes far away, you must know how to let go.
49. Your explanation is a cover-up, what you cover up is the fact, and the fact is the beginning of sin.
50. I think back then, I was also a seed of infatuation, but it was struck by lightning and killed.
51. I wish all lovers in the world are long-lost brothers and sisters, (this is too cruel)
52. When looking at beautiful women on the street, look higher to appreciate them, and look lower to appreciate them. Just a gangster.
53. It is said that your IQ will become lower in front of the person you like. Second, am I falling in love with my homework?
54. How about letting me be your mobile phone, so that you can hold me in your hand every day.
55. Listen, I allow you to like me. We have no other choice but to grow old together.
56. As a foodie, eating doesn’t mean I’m hungry, it just means my mouth is lonely.
57. I don’t care if you have anyone outside, or who you marry, as long as you don’t leave me.
58. Learn Feng Shui when you have time. Having a good tomb after your death can make up for the regret of not being able to afford a good house during your lifetime.
59. Are you blind? You can't see such a big shield, but you want to throw a stone at my head!
60. Grandpa said: Jay Chou must have been a good monk when he became a monk, because the sutras he recited were so good.
61. In fact, I have long wanted to get rid of my habit of swearing, but the funny people around me always make me unable to help myself!
62. I still remember that scoring 80 points in the primary school exam is like losing your father, and getting 80 points in the middle school exam is like becoming a father.
63. Teachers always despise poor students who hold back the class. The class is not a dog, it is divided into front legs and back legs.
64. The big electric cannon and the small flying feet knocked them all down] Waiter, look over here and tell me what kind of dog you are.
65. One day when I meet my past self, I will definitely slap him in the face. You have done too many wrong things.
66. My girlfriend ate mutton skewers in one go, and my boyfriend said one word. Which word did you say, and your mouth was so horny?
67. When the love is there, we call the words we say vows. When the love is gone, the vows are called dead words. .
68. The dead vines and old trees are full of crows, the prices in the school cafeteria have increased, the classmates are starved to death, the sun is setting, and I want to go home.
69. If your high school classmate was sitting at a KTV and you happened to meet her, what would you do? I will point her out.
70. The best years of my life have been these few years. I can’t find anyone to spend money for me, why can’t I just spend my own money?
71. I have never understood one thing. If you learn English, you can talk to foreigners, but if you learn classical Chinese! Are you talking to a ghost?
72. I once looked up at the sky with my friend, and we both cried. She cried because she was broken in love, and I cried because I broke my neck.
73. Today the history teacher asked me in class who is Kangxi’s son? I blurted out Yin Zheng! Then I was embarrassed.
74. There are only two types of mathematical proof questions. One is shit, which still needs proof, and the other is shit, which can also be proved.
75. I bought a mobile phone online a few days ago, and the store said it was absolutely genuine, and I would pay six for every fake one. I received a package today, which contained seven mobile phones
76. Whether it is on the wedding invitation or on the tombstone at the funeral, I hope that your names and mine will always be written together for the rest of our lives.
77. I know money, but money does not know me. Every time I meet it, it always says: Don’t talk to strangers. Stay away from me.
78. Yao Jiaxin was sentenced to death in the first trial. After reading the news, the boss said to us in a serious tone, "Did you see, this is what will happen if you ask for a raise?"
79. Today, a colleague received a message from his ex. The content is as follows: Dear, I have obtained my driver’s license. Be careful when crossing the road.
80. If the relationship lasts for a long time, How can it be day and night? Dear baby, I can't always be with you, but your heart and I will always be together.
81. Only your feet know the right shoes, and only your heart knows the right person. When you walk a thousand roads, only one is suitable. When you meet all kinds of people, one person is enough.
82. Loving you is a decision I have no regrets in my life. The stars in the sky are all my eyes looking at you. No matter how it ends, I know: I love you the most in this life!
83. A pot of wine among the flowers, free cigarettes to smoke; a toast to the bright moon, but no money; we have sex together when we are awake, but you pay for it when we are drunk. Travel without any worries, don’t worry about food and drink!
84. As long as the cats don’t eat fish, I promise not to drink; if there are mice who are not afraid of cats, I won’t copy the exam; if the cooked duck can fly, I will blow the whole bottle of white wine!
85. Hold your hand, follow the feeling, go to the alley, let go of your hand, oh my, you dog, you will eat other people’s bitches without even saying hello. mouth!
86. Once in class, I was playing cards with my classmates in the back. The teacher handed out exercise papers, but they were all gone. I stood up and said to the teacher: Teacher, I’m short of cards.
87. A teacher ran a red light and was stopped by the traffic police. The teacher said: Please, I will be late for teaching. Traffic policeman: You are a teacher. Thank God. I have been waiting for you for 20 years. Please write "Never run a red light again" 100 times.