A messy room will destroy the happiness of the family, especially the children
A good family environment and atmosphere will not only affect the family's fortune, but also affect the child's life.
Author | Li Walnut
A few days ago, my daughter’s friend Linlin invited her to play at home, and my daughter happily went to the appointment.
In the evening, after I made four phone calls, my daughter reluctantly came home.
The first words I said after returning home made me feel ashamed:
I tried to save my respect:
My daughter interrupted me:
When I first heard that my daughter disliked her home, I felt sad and ashamed.
Since the Chinese New Year, I haven’t tidied my room properly.
In addition, the temperature changes during this season, and everywhere you look there are clothes of different thicknesses:
The cotton-padded jackets, T-shirts, and coats on the sofa, and the leather shoes and sandals in front of the shoe cabinet. Slippers, cotton slippers, tissues, fruits, toys on the coffee table, scarves and silk scarves on the computer desk...
My family also has a cat, and there is a vague animal odor in the air. , I was shocked:
When did my home become a "garbage dump"?
I remembered an interview I read not long ago by organizer Bian Yuechun. She has been in the industry for 10 years and visited more than 2,000 families. She discovered the fundamental problems in room organization in Chinese families and put forward the following A thought-provoking point of view:
You can tell whether a family's living conditions are good or not, and whether their children are healthy and sunny, just by looking at the room.
A messy family
Raising children who cannot be self-disciplined
Bian Yuechun said:
On the contrary, a messy family The family environment is not only uncomfortable to live in, but also more troublesome to discipline the children.
She once met a family whose home was full of messy things, with children’s toys scattered everywhere.
Every time I ask my children to put away their toys, they don’t listen.
The reason is also very simple: if the house is so messy and adults don’t clean it up, how can they convince the children to manage themselves?
It is no exaggeration to say that out-of-control order can easily breed out-of-control children.
American psychologist Philip Zimbardo once proposed a famous theory: the broken windows effect.
It refers to: If an adverse phenomenon occurs in an environment and is not contained, it will induce people to imitate it or even worsen it.
For example, if there is a broken window in a community, vandals will destroy more windows;
If there is some graffiti on a wall that has not been cleaned, There will be more graffiti works soon;
On a sofa, if someone throws smelly socks or clothes on it, then the children will also throw their toys on it.
If there are some paper scraps and stains on the floor that are not cleaned up in time, the children will spill the garbage on the floor without feeling anything wrong.
If snacks, books, and drinks are placed messily on the computer table, the child's study table will also be messy...
The cleanliness of a family represents The family's attitude towards life.
Behind the mess is the loss of control caused by laziness; behind the neatness is the order formed by self-discipline.
If the home is messy, the child will only become more lazy, undisciplined, and lack enterprising spirit.
Living in a tidy room will make people more willing to keep their bodies clean and behave in a self-disciplined manner, and children will also become optimistic, positive and motivated.
A messy family
A couple who cannot nourish love and harmony
I saw a video where the couple quarreled every day for three days, and the wife was so angry that she took the two children with her. Returned to her parents’ home.
After calming down at her parents’ house, the wife became angry again as soon as she got home:
The kitchen was filled with dirty dishes that had not been washed for who knows how many days;
The sofa was piled with clothes, and the coffee table was littered with children's toys, plastic bags, baby bottles, and used toilet paper;
The floor was littered with scraps of paper, cigarette ashes, and crooked express boxes. ;
On the dining table, a pile of plastic bags and packaging bags surrounded a flowerpot airtightly...
When she thought of her husband, she knew that he was waiting for her to come back to clean up the mess, and the wife I felt angry and cried all night.
No one cooked the next day. The two children, Dabao, lay in bed until 11 o'clock, while Xiaobao cried and asked for milk powder.
While the wife felt sorry for the child, she was also angry:
Why do I always have to clean the house? I am so tired from taking care of two children...
What determines the temperature of a family is not money and sweet words, but the love and care that is implemented in trivial matters such as daily necessities.
A few dirty dishes, a few wads of paper towels, and a few plastic bags may seem like insufficient evidence.
But dirt breeds annoyance and chaos breeds resentment. Over time, resentment will breed in even the happiest home.
Bian Yuechun once met a female client. She had already written a divorce agreement with her husband and wanted to finally invite Bian Yuechun to tidy up her home.
As soon as the arrangement was completed, the husband came back to sign the divorce agreement.
Looking at the bright and clean home, the first words out of the husband’s mouth were:
As soon as he finished speaking, the couple were stunned because it had been a long time since her husband had called her so affectionately. .
The couple started talking about the changes at home. After talking for a long time, they discovered that the core conflict of the family was just that "the house is too messy and no one is cleaning it up."
The wife has to cook and take care of the children, so she has no extra energy to clean the room;
The husband, on the other hand, does not clean up at all.
The couple often argued about not being able to find things, and the quarrels aroused resentment. The husband became increasingly reluctant to go home, and eventually divorced.
After discussing the issue, the couple tore up the divorce agreement in front of Bian Yuechun.
Home is a haven of love, allowing people to relax after a tiring day outside.
A messy room can easily make people irritable, cause quarrels, and destroy the relationship between husband and wife.
American psychotherapist Satir said:
The so-called "warm nest" means that when encountering problems, everyone shares the responsibility;
When encountering disputes, everyone communicates and resolves them; when encountering happy things, we also share the happiness together.
The primary task of education is to create a warm and loving living environment for children.
A messy home
Fills the home with negative energy
Shu An, another well-known organizer, also told a thought-provoking story.
A mother with two children was having a rough time every day, so she had no choice but to ask her aunt for help.
Unexpectedly, having one more person to take care of the child would make things worse.
Her eldest son became increasingly manic and irritable, losing his temper at every turn;
She was also very depressed. In severe cases, she often had chest tightness and breathlessness, and had already developed symptoms of depression.
There is no other reason than that there are more people in the family and there are more clutter.
Her kitchen, living room, and bedroom were filled with shopping bags, children's toys, and casually thrown clothing and appliances.
Sometimes there are so many items piled up that even the sun cannot shine in.
People become upset after living in a messy environment for a long time, and both adults and children become depressed.
It wasn’t until she started tidying up the room systematically that the entire family atmosphere lost its previous sluggishness and began to be filled with sunshine and laughter.
The bigger surprise is that because she often cleans her room, her weight has dropped from 172 pounds to 130 pounds. Her appearance, temperament, and mental state have improved a lot.
Her good mood also infected the children.
The eldest son is not as noisy as before, and the two children are much less worried than before. She can take care of them well by herself, and there is no need to ask anyone for help.
The book "Sweeping Power" says: A room is an energy field.
The negative energy released by a dirty room will be transmitted to family members unknowingly, causing problems such as irritable mood, anxiety, helplessness, low self-esteem, fatigue and other problems.
Hong Kong psychiatrist Esslin Terrighena also said:
A messy family cannot raise sunny and cheerful children.
Because mess itself conveys many negative messages: laziness, negativity, and muddling through.
Lack of sunshine at home will breed germs, and lack of sunshine in children’s psychology will breed anxiety and depression.
The longer a child stays in such an environment, the more likely it is that children will develop emotional and psychological problems.
Being clean and tidy
is the best luck for a family
What should a beautiful family atmosphere look like?
Bian Yuechun painted such a scene for us:
A beautiful day starts with a beautiful morning.
A beautiful morning begins when you open your sleepy eyes and see a clean and comfortable home environment.
A study by Harvard Business School once showed that unfortunate people usually live in messy and filthy conditions.
Successful people with a strong sense of happiness often have a very clean and tidy home environment.
A clean and tidy home is the best feng shui for a person and the best fortune for a family.
Thinking back to the past, my husband also complained about the chaos at home, but I didn’t take it seriously.
But seeing my daughter’s longing for a friend’s house, I felt that I could no longer ignore it.
We must not let our children have the idea that "other people's homes are cleaner and more beautiful than ours, so they don't like their own home."
So this weekend, our family, uncharacteristically, did not sleep in and got up early to clean the room.
I was responsible for wiping and washing, my husband was responsible for cleaning, and my daughter was also busy packing away her toys and clothes. The whole family was very busy until about 2 o'clock in the afternoon.
Looking at my brand new home, I felt comfortable and satisfied lying on the sofa.
My husband was also sitting on the balcony, looking for a book to read seriously, instead of lying on the bed playing with his mobile phone.
Where is my daughter?
She excitedly extended an invitation to her friend: Come and play at my house later. Our house is very clean today!
Then he sat down at his desk and flipped through the picture book.
The environment can indeed affect a person.
A clean and tidy home can give birth to children's pride, confidence and self-discipline.
This cleanliness and tidiness are the result of the joint efforts of the whole family.
So, if you have nothing to do, you might as well organize a general cleaning on the weekend and let the whole family participate.
Cleaning up the room is never the responsibility of the mother alone. It is also a good time for the father to show his talents and make the children independent.
What children feel in tidying up their rooms is not only hard work, but also responsibility, responsibility and the joy of creating a better life.
Demonstrating and guiding children to clean up their rooms is also an education about love and beauty.
Hong Kong psychiatrist Esslin Terrighena said:
Because we will not be distracted by chaos, we will become more efficient.
There will be no quarrels because of chaos, and we will become more harmonious and friendly.
A clean and tidy room changes not only the environment, but also people’s mood, feelings, and efficiency in work and study.
As the saying goes, "Wealth does not come through dirty doors, and blessings do not come through deviant doors."
A clean and tidy living environment is the best Feng Shui for a family.