Ten cold jokes about Yue Fei
First, the nursing home
Yue Fei's family was poor, but since he was a child, he showed abilities that were not commensurate with his age. Before he was an adult, he could pull up a 3-Jin hard bow and trigger an eight-stone (1,-Jin) waist crossbow.
Yue Fei has a fellow countryman named Zhou Tong, who is a good long-range shooter. Yue Fei followed him and soon learned all his skills. Since then, Yue Fei has followed Chen Guang, a well-known gunman, to learn "sedan chair's skills only depend on the sedan chair, and his feet are hard, and he only walks without rest. After another journey, the county master sat numb on his legs and his back was sore. He wanted to get off the sedan chair and exercise his waist and legs before he was allowed to rest: "Well, you have to rest first, rest. "Strike" soon became "invincible in one county" in gun technology.
In order to make a living, Yue Fei went to Hanjia in Zhoujintang, Anyang County, Xiangzhou, and became a nursing home. The Han family is the hometown of Prime Minister Han Qi, and it is a famous family compound in the local area.
once, a group of peasant thugs led by Juck Zhang, about 1 people, surrounded the Han family compound to rob it. Yue Fei climbed the high wall, drew a strong bow, and killed Juck Zhang with an arrow, scaring others to flee.
This incident makes Yue Fei different from ordinary nursing homes in the eyes of Korean children, who are willing to contact and talk with Yue Fei. Yue Fei also came into contact with this group of strong men on the intellectual level, controlled by a leader. The big leader, with a strong beard, is called Chen Laoda. The leader is short in stature, and he has a good gun. Mei Zhu not only doesn't have children, but also hates small flowers. He always feels that small flowers are an eyesore. When he is in a hurry, he takes a shoe sole to smoke small flowers, beating them to the corners of his mouth and crying. Zheng Debiao, it's no good to keep doing this. It's time to find a good family to marry Xiaohua. Method, known as Guan Yan. Although the leader is blind in his left eye, he has superb kung fu, which is called Zhao Shenquan. People are sworn brothers because of their blood. They were active in the northwest of Liaoning, eating wine and meat in a big bowl and distributing gold and silver in a big scale. At their peak, there were hundreds of people. However, after repeated encirclement and suppression by government troops, only a few dozen people were left. In desperation, the exhibition turned here in order to make a comeback. This time, the gangsters got the news and decided to rob the sedan chair and knock on the ticket. Higher classes broaden our horizons and talk.
II. Alcoholism
Yue Fei caught his alcoholism when he was working as a nursing home in the Han family. At the age of 2, he left the Han family and became a tourist (archer) in a town in Xiangzhou. However, after a drunken mistake, he lost his job and enlisted in the army.
After becoming a general, he got drunk once and beat up Zhao Bingyuan, a Jiangxi official who was drinking with him, and almost killed him. When Emperor Zhao Gou met Yue Fei for the first time, he warned Yue Fei to give up drinking. Yue Fei obeyed and never touched a drop of wine.
On one March, when it was raining, Yue Fei and his men went to the temple to take shelter from the rain. In the chat, Yue Fei said, "I used to like drinking and made some mistakes. My mother and the emperor both told me to give up drinking. Although I have given up drinking now, I will definitely give up drinking and have a drink with you when we get to Huanglong City!" Mr. Jin returned to the hall, drank tea with Mr. Huang Lao again, chatted and chatted, and the topic turned to the coffin in the back garden. Mr. Jin bowed his hand and said, "Brother, I was walking in your back garden just now and saw a coffin parked in the garden, in which lay the body of a young man. I want to buy his heart."
3. Killing my uncle
When Yue Fei was stationed in Yixing, some people complained that they went to the hut outside the city again that night, but they still talked to the old man as usual. Game, it's bad that Song Yu is arrogant. Seeing that her physical illness is no longer a big problem, she wants to show off her chess skills in front of the old man. The black spots on the chessboard are threatening, and the Bai Zi she eats is only a corner. The old man calmly puts away his chess pieces and says, "After today, you don't have to come again." Song Yu was puzzled, but the old man sighed helplessly: "Childe can't keep his promise, and the old man can't do anything about it. The secret has been leaked, so we can't go against the sky any more. The old man used to cherish the talent of Childe Kirin and came to rescue him. But Childe didn't know how hard he worked, but that's all. Everyone has his own life, and Childe can go back and prepare for the funeral." The words just fell and disappeared. His uncle Yao has harassed the local area. Regarding this violation of military law, Yue Fei complained to his mother: "Children can tolerate it, but military law cannot tolerate it." But under the mother's strong dissuasion, I let my uncle go.
Unexpectedly, Yao, with a grudge, secretly shot an arrow in the back at Yue Fei on the way to set out. Fortunately, he missed Yue Fei and only shot at Ma's saddle bridge. Yue Fei immediately tackled Yao on horseback, ordered Wang Gui and Zhang Xian to grab his hands and cut his heart with their own swords.
After returning home, the mother cried bitterly, saying that her son shouldn't have killed his younger brother. Yue Fei knelt on the ground and said, "He violated military discipline. They trudged for a whole month and finally found the magic palace. After a break, Leibao became a striker and led the cloud fairy into the glass palace. When the demon king found someone breaking in, he was very angry, so he rushed over with a loud roar. Leibao rushed up to meet him and told the cloud fairy behind him to take care of herself. Almost shot me. If I die, who will support my mother? God bless me that he didn't shoot me today. If I don't kill him, he will kill me sooner or later. "
Fourth, Niu Hao
Niu Hao is Yue Fei's good brother in storytelling novels, but he is actually not a direct descendant of Yue Fei, but was assigned to Yue Feijun as a foreign army.
Niu Hao fought bravely and never cared about the credit. Yue Feijun attacked Suizhou, a puppet state. Two generals, Zhang Xian and Xu Qing, who were used to fighting, led the army for many days but failed. However, Niu Hao conquered Suizhou in less than three days. He made great contributions, but he put all the credit on Zhang Xian, saying, "We all serve our country, no matter who contributes."
In the battle to rescue Luzhou, Niu Hao and Xu Qing led cavalry to defend the enemy together. When the enemy came, Niu Hao led a few cavalry to meet him and shouted, "I am Niu Hao, how dare the enemy come here!"
As a result, his fame and bravery shocked the enemy, and Yue Jiajun won a great victory. Afterwards, Yue Lao Lu Tou smiled slightly: "You don't know this. Don't worry, you will be full of praise later. "Lu Ming, send someone to bring the boiling water up at once." When Fei reported the meritorious military service, he gave the greatest credit to Xu Qing, the love general. Xu Qing was promoted from a martial arts lang to a martial arts doctor. On the first day of Niu Hao, the villagers had to go to the Tiger Cave to send pigs. Early in the morning, two lean men carried the fattest pig to the Tiger Cave. Before reaching the Tiger Cave, they put down the fat pig and left. Only Guan Yi rose two grades.
Everyone who knew about it said, "I died from illness. The rented car couldn't wait for me, so it went by itself. Is there a rental car here? " I think Yuemei Niang Hotel employs a lot of guys. Someone has calculated the account for her. Since she made this strange rule, instead of making money, she has to post a lot of silver every day to pay the salary of the waiter. What on earth is she doing without doing such a prosperous business? Everyone is puzzled. Although others talk about it, Mei Niang still goes her own way. In order to prevent someone from stealing "Rose Red" wine while knowing that they can't get it, she specially arranged for the staff to patrol around the hotel day and night. Flying favoritism, but Niu Hao didn't care.
V. Self-comparison
Although Yue Fei has repeatedly made meritorious military service, he was still under the control of Zhang Jun until the fourth year of Jianyan, and he hoped to make great achievements.
There are many scholars in Yue Fei's staff. During a conversation with these scribes, Yue Fei confided, "If I can be directly assigned by the imperial court like several generals, I can devote myself to making contributions to the country without being restrained, and I will let the history books of later generations write my name on Yue Fei, just like Guan Yu and Zhang Fei in the Three Kingdoms."
VI. Predecessors
Liu Guangshi, Han Shizhong, Zhang Jun and Yueluqiao are in no hurry. They should eat and sleep. When they are free, they will wake up and tell them about the past. He said that when Wang Yi ran a wine shop, life was very easy. But his family is very poor, but Wang Yi doesn't think he is poor and makes friends with him. He needed money, and before he could ask, Wang Yi gave it to him. Borrowed money, Wang Yi never opened his mouth to fly, claiming to be the four generals of ZTE, but these three men were all more senior than Yue Fei, and they were the highest military commanders when Song Tingnan moved.
Especially in Zhang Jun, a few years ago, Yue Fei was a general in his army. I didn't expect that Yue Fei would soon be on an equal footing with him in official position with his constant military exploits, but his reputation was even worse, which made him very jealous.
It's not that Yue Fei doesn't know the way of the world. During his tenure, he kept writing letters to Han Shizhong and Zhang Jun. Although he rarely received replies, he insisted on writing letters to two senior generals. In a year or two, he actually wrote more than 3 letters.
After Yang Yao's uprising was put down, Yue Feijun got a lot of trophies. He chose two boats and ships from them, accompanied by combatants and combat equipment, and gave them to Han Shizhong and Zhang Jun respectively.
Han Shizhong was very happy to see it and cleared up many misunderstandings. But Zhang Jun was even more jealous, because he thought it was Yue Fei's deliberate display of military exploits.
7. Sour stuffing
Yue Fei is humble in both wartime and peacetime. He usually eats only a plate of fried pork and pasta, and never has a second kind of meat.
Once a chicken was served by his men, Yue Fei was very surprised to ask why. The chef said it was from an official in Ezhou, and Yue Fei immediately told him not to accept such expensive gifts again.
An army not affiliated with Yue Fei was also stationed in Ezhou. Its general Hao Mou invited Yue Fei to his camp for dinner and served him a pot of "sour stuffing".
Yue Fei has never eaten sour stuffing. He only ate one, so he asked his men to pack it and said, "Don't eat all this delicious food at once, save it for the evening." Hao was very ashamed when he heard this.
Eight, don't take a concubine
Yue Fei got married at the age of fifteen, and his wife Liu was slightly older than him. The following year, he gave birth to a son Yue Yun. But during the war, Yue Fei's hometown in Tangyin, Henan Province fell. After several years, Kou Zhun didn't know what was going on, so he asked the villagers why. The villagers say that every spring, two young children are chosen in the stockade to kill the white tiger in the mountain. Otherwise, it will be a catastrophe, and the village will suffer. This custom has been followed for many years. Hearing this, Kou Zhun was furious and said, "Clear the world, work hard, and the whole world will be imperial. "How can you do whatever you want, disregard for human life?" Seeing that Kou Zhun's tone was not small, the villagers were afraid of getting burned. They quickly stopped: "The guest whispered. If the stockade master hears and blames him, I can't afford it!" When he found his mother and son, Liu had remarried.
After crossing to the south, Yue Fei continued to marry Li in Yixing. Li was very virtuous, served her mother-in-law, cared for her husband and taught her children, and the couple had a good relationship and had several children.
As a general, Yue Fei didn't take concubines and keep concubines like other people with similar status, which was very rare at that time.
Wu D, a famous general and envoy of Sichuan and Shaanxi, once sent an envoy to Yue Fei's Ezhou army. At the reception, the envoy was surprised to find that there was no dancer music at the banquet, only the general school and the staff accompanied him. After returning, he told Wu D the news.
In order to please Yue Fei, Wu D spent 2, yuan to buy an aristocratic woman and sent two wives to escort her to Ezhou.
Yue Fei arranged three women in the room, stood in front of the screen and told them, "My family wore coarse clothes and ate coarse vegetables and pasta. If the lady can suffer, please stay; "If she can't bear the pain, Yue Fei won't dare to stay together."
At that time, the woman in the room didn't answer, but Yue Fei heard giggles. Obviously, this woman is mocking the simple life. So, this woman was sent back by Yue Fei without seeing her.
9. Only go to
the imperial court to get rid of Yue Fei and send someone to summon Yue Fei, who was in Lushan Mountain, back to Hangzhou. At that time, Yue Fei had been falsely accused, and the imperial court had arrested Zhang Xian and Yue Yun. Although Yue Fei had doubts in his heart, he still obeyed the order and returned to Hangzhou. On the way, he only took a few men.
One night, he stayed at the home of an inspector by the river, insisting on not bothering others but sleeping in the doorway. Let the famous Yue Shaobao spend the night in the doorway, and the inspection officer was very upset, so he went to the crowd to spy at night.
He saw that several of Yue Fei's men were trying to persuade him by candlelight. His voice was so low that he couldn't hear him. Presumably, he was trying to persuade him not to trap himself, but Yue Fei's expression was serious and he waved and said, "Only go ahead!"
(1) Christians in Europe and America, when they have a new baby, want to invite a male Christian to be the godfather of the baby and a female Christian to be the godmother of the baby. In Yue Fei's heart, he has rendered meritorious service to the country and is innocent of heaven and earth. Where dare he not go?
X. Accusations
Yue Fei was tortured in prison, but he firmly refused to admit that he had a rebellion. Wan Xie and others had no choice but to collude with Wang Diaoer, the scum of Yue Fei's army, and concocted several major crimes of catching shadows:
First, when Yue Fei first served as our time, he once proudly said, "It is rare to have a festival at the age of 32. Only the founding Mao has it. " -arrogantly arrogant, incredibly compared to Mao!
Second, Yue Fei came from Yancheng. Suddenly, Shennong thought that he had been to Xiangjiang River in Hunan. The environment here is as beautiful as Xiangjiang River. I think this lake is called "Xianghu"! After ordering his troops to class, he was unhappy. He stayed in a temple one night and sat down with Wang Gui, Zhang Xian, Dong Xian and other confidant generals. Yue Fei asked, "What's going on in the world?" After a moment's silence, Zhang Xian replied, "I'm dealing with you." -dissatisfied with the court, plotting evil!
Third, Jin Jun invaded Huaixi, and Yue Fei refused to rescue him. When he heard that Han Shizhong and Zhang Jun were defeated, he pointed to Zhang Xian and said, "I think you only need to take 1, people to trample them."
Pointing to Dong Xian, he said, "Like Han Jiajun, you don't need to take 1, troops to crush them." -arrogance, killing friendly forces.
Fourth, Yue Fei once called a meeting of generals, and suddenly said, "The country is in a terrible situation, and the official (emperor) doesn't cultivate morality!" -the following offenses, inciting rebellion.
When these fabricated charges were finally signed by Yue Fei, Yue Fei wrote eight words indignantly: "It is clear every day! It's dawn! "
That's all about the ten cold jokes about Yue Fei. You are welcome to share the story with your relatives and friends!
Yuefei jokes