When you go, you have to go, and you can’t stay again.
When you go, you must go, and you can't stay again. Be patient and calm down; be patient and take a step back.
When you go, you must go. I dropped my phone yesterday and the screen shattered. I looked at it calmly and smiled. In fact, I felt quite guilty because the loan had not been paid off yet. This time I have a better grasp of my mentality. It is already broken, so I have to figure out whether to repair it or replace it with a new one. There are no other options, so there is no need to worry. (If you have money, you don’t have to worry about many things. It’s not about worshiping money. It’s just describing the facts. I happen to be the one without money). I still remember a similar incident: I was riding the subway during the morning rush hour. The doorbell rang. I rushed up, but my shoulder bag fell into the track outside the door, and the door was closed. I was thinking about what I had on me, including my bus card and my mobile phone. Do you want to send a text message to your boss asking for leave? Later, I sat back at the next station and asked the subway staff to help me pick it up. He was calm throughout the whole process, just trying to figure out how to deal with the problem. He had a great attitude and was not anxious at all. It feels good to deal with things this way. If you encounter something similar, you can give it a try.
Having said that, I feel that many things around us are similar. For example, between philosophy and management theorems. For things that have passed, you don’t have to worry about it after summarizing it. In management, this is called a sunk cost. No matter how unwilling you are, nothing will change. Similar to this, there is opportunity cost. When you can only do one thing at the same time, then the other things are the opportunity costs of doing this thing. It is interesting to think about it carefully. This does not necessarily mean that a person can only handle one thing at the same time, but under some conditions, it is a multiple-choice question, and when selecting a certain item, other options must be discarded. Perhaps, under certain circumstances, especially under current technological conditions or ways of thinking, the opportunity cost can be somewhat different from before.
No matter what time it is, it is better to be as calm as possible. In fact, I can’t say that I can’t tolerate it. There are many things that I can’t get over. It may be some traditional issues or it may be a matter of face. Things that I could have let go of have to be tolerated. If you endure it again and again, there will always be tolerance. When not living. I remember discussing this with a classmate when I was in college. At that time, he always used tolerance to train himself. Later, after we communicated, he chose another option - forgiveness. Empty yourself and be tolerant is great.
Give up your anger. Regarding anger, I have been feeling it lately. I believe more and more that being angry is all because of myself and has nothing to do with others. This view of mine is based on the ABC theory of emotions. From A to C, there is a B in the middle, which is the understanding of the A event. Being angry (C) can be controlled by yourself (B). Some people are weaker and some are stronger. No matter how strong or weak they are, blaming the cause of anger on others (A) is correct. Unfair.
Based on this idea, I have similar thoughts on the so-called "environment affects people". What initially struck me as strange was that multiple children raised in the same native family environment might have different personalities or destinies. I believe that the environment will affect people, but the environment does not determine the direction of influence, and the understanding and thinking about the environment are the main factors that determine the direction of change. This is also the ABC theory. Another thing, there is a saying that the family of origin will affect a person's life. I agree, the same as above, the influence is there, but the direction is hard to say. I also believe that if a person reaches a certain age (or experience is more accurate) and still blames the influence of his family of origin on him, that is a bit excessive. A person should have the ability to think independently, have his own independent cognition, clarify his own direction, and know what he should do and how to do it. Dwelling on the past and suggesting to myself that it's not my fault may give me temporary comfort. As the saying goes, although it is shameful to escape, it is useful. In fact, we all understand that evading responsibility cannot deny the fact that responsibility exists, nor can it make any actual changes to the status quo. We should face it, where can we escape to?
Go around and take a step back. The first thing that comes to my mind is that siege is a must in The Art of War.
That is to say, leaving an exit for the opponent in the encirclement, so that they can see the escape route, so that they will not engage in a trapped beast fight and fight to the death. This will weaken the opponent's strength and make it easier for us to win. For those opponents who are not enemies, be merciful and merciful (it is necessary to distinguish the definition and scale of good gains). After all, relationships will change, and interests are eternal. Things have changed, and who wouldn’t miss the beginning? I recently read "Three Words and Two Pats", and there are many stories similar to the cycle of cause and effect, where one's good thoughts go round and round and receive good rewards. So, let’s advise ourselves to be kind. Not for good deeds, just your own choice.