Which one is "closer" to the grandson or the "closer" to the grandson? What do you think?
Many times, in their old age, the elderly like to be with their grandchildren. Some elderly people even like their grandchildren more than their own children. Perhaps this is why they like to spend time with their grandchildren. It is a concrete manifestation of what we commonly call "a close relationship between generations"!
It’s just that for a long time, when it comes to the issue of grandchildren, more of our elderly people will give them the "titles" of "grandson" and "grandson", that is, the children born to their sons are Grandsons, and children born to daughters are grandchildren. This situation is also very common at present.
Although "grandson" and "grandson" are both the grandsons of the elderly, in actual life, will our elderly treat their "grandsons" and "grandsons" the same? And in actual life From the perspective of the elderly, is it the grandson or the grandson who is "relative"? Today we will listen to the answers of the three elderly people involved.
1. 63-year-old Uncle Yang
I am 63 years old. I have two sons and a daughter. They have already started a family and have children of their own. When my children gave birth to children, I helped to take care of them more or less. So, Let me talk about my views and feelings.
When my two sons had children, I happened to be working in other places. Because I was very busy at work at that time, I basically stayed at home for three days and then left. , so the time I spend with my grandson is basically very short. When my daughter gave birth, I stopped working. Relatively speaking, the time I spent with my grandson was relatively long.
Now my grandchildren have grown up, but I obviously feel that my grandchildren still want to be more kissy towards me. Every time they see me, they call me "Grandpa" non-stop, and sometimes they even snuggle up to me. She looked very happy in her arms.
The same cannot be said for my granddaughter. Although I took her with her for a short time when she was a child, she obviously felt a little unfamiliar when she saw me. If you touch her head, she will run away, but when she is with her grandparents, she looks completely different from me. Maybe this is what people often call "blood connection in the bones"!
2. 60-year-old Aunt Zhang
I am from a rural area. When my son got married, he lived in the same courtyard with me. When my daughter got married, she also got married in the same village, very far away from me. Recently, when they had children, I took care of them. After all, I had more free time.
Although others have the idea of "valuing boys over girls", I have never had it. My daughter is no worse to me than my son, so when I treat my two grandchildren, no matter they are grandsons or grandsons, I treat them equally.
It just depends on their age. As I grew older and became more and more sensible, my granddaughter always called me "Grandma", and my grandson started to call me "Grandma". At this time, I understood that it seemed that The children themselves have already distinguished themselves.
Since then, I have felt a little sour in my heart. It seems that even in my heart, I feel that my grandson and grandson are the same. But in the face of reality, I have to admit that I am still "close" to my grandson.
Three. 68-year-old Aunt Cao
My son has stayed with me since he graduated from college. Since he was working in other places, even his family was settled in another place. Therefore, most of the time, I never helped him take care of his children. Even when I met my granddaughter, it was through video.
After my daughter got married, her home was in the same county as mine. After my daughter gave birth to a child, because her mother-in-law lived in a rural area, it was inconvenient to take care of the children, so the task of taking care of the grandson fell on me. At that time, I happened to be retired and had nothing to do.
Although he is a grandson, I take good care of him. He and I have stayed together for at least five years. Later, my daughter moved away and we separated. Until this year’s Chinese New Year, my son and I My daughter and her family came back to celebrate the New Year with me.
As soon as we met, my grandson threw himself into my arms and seemed very close to me. When my granddaughter saw me, it was like seeing a stranger. Although they say that blood relations are more important than anything else, they have always been Since then, I have spent more time with my grandson, so at least here, I feel that my grandson is "closer" than my granddaughter.
So why do many elderly people think that their grandchildren are "closer" than their biological grandchildren even though they are also grandchildren?
1. The old man's "taken for granted" mentality is at work
For a long time, deep in the hearts of some of our old people, they have believed in their bones that the children born to their sons are "relatives" , and the children born to daughters have other people’s surnames, they will naturally not be particularly “close” to them. This is a typical “taking it for granted” mentality at work. Once an old man has such a mentality, at what point? He will feel that his grandson is "closer" than his grandson.
2. Children receive "bad" ideological education from the outside world
Sometimes, our children are ignorant, and they have no sense of right and wrong, while we have Parents or elderly people will instill some "bad" ideological education into their children, such as this is your biological grandfather, he is not your biological grandfather, etc. If the children receive wrong education, they will behave differently towards different elderly people, thus causing problems. It will make the elderly mistakenly think that their grandson is "closer" than their grandson.
3. The time spent together by the elderly and their grandchildren is different
Some of our elderly people spend a longer time with their grandchildren, but a shorter time with their grandchildren. , so far they feel that their grandson is "closer" than their grandson. In fact, they don't understand the true meaning of the sentence: "Emotions come from love, and people's hearts come from warmth." Therefore, they have such a wrong understanding. That is very "normal".
Small conclusion
To sum up: Although most of us, the elderly, feel that our grandchildren are "close", and they also have their own sufficient reasons and basis, but through We have stated the three reasons above, and I believe that many of us elderly people will not make such "simple mistakes" again in the future.
So, in my opinion, the grandson and the grandson are both relatives of the old man, and they are also the people closest to the old man. This is beyond doubt, as long as the old man has a clear and correct mind. I believe that in the near future, grandsons and grandsons will treat the elderly the same way. If the elderly still have that kind of "narrow" thinking in their hearts, then the elderly will only be in the abyss of error. "I sink deeper and deeper" and cannot extricate myself.