Company annual meeting, looking for classic scripts of three-person cross talk sketches

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o( )_-\_ 1: Today I'm so happy that I earned so much just by going to the toilet.

2: Look, here comes another one.

Male: (covering his stomach with both hands, hurriedly) Oops! oops! …When I’m on a business trip these days, what I’m most afraid of is finding the toilet. No, I walked through several streets and searched for half an hour...! well! There it is (rapid advance).

1: (stopping the man) Hey! Who are you? What are you going to do?

Male: I, I am the boss of a mobile company, and I need to go to the toilet!

2: The CEO of a mobile company? (Looks at the man up and down) Can't you read? (Referring to the cards)

Male: "Charge"? Oh, oh, I'm sorry, I'm in a hurry. How much is it?

1: 5 cents in.

Male: (takes out money) Okay, I’ll give you 5 cents.

1: 3 hairs come out.

Male: What? Does that make sense? Are there still charges for coming out?

2: Sorry, we implement two-way charging here.

Male: That’s too much. Okay, I’ll give you a piece, so you don’t have to look for it.

2: One piece is not enough, you have to pay at least 300 yuan first.

Male: 300 yuan? Why?

1: We charge by the hour here, 30 cents per minute. If there is less than one minute, we will charge you one minute. You pay first and consume later.

Male: What do you mean? Want to pay first? When I eat in a restaurant, even if it costs several thousand yuan, I consume it first and pay the bill later.

2: This cannot be compared.

Male: What can’t be compared?

2: We and hotels are two completely different industries. They are in charge of "in"; we are in charge of "out".

Male: What is your basis for doing this?

1: This is our business rule. In our jargon, it is called "pre-deposited convenience fee".

Male: What is "pre-deposited convenience fee"?

1: It’s a shame that you are the boss of a mobile company and you don’t even understand this. You make a call and call it “pre-deposited phone bill”. Of course it’s just “pre-deposited convenience fee” for convenience.

Male: I’m glad you figured it out.

2: Please pay 300 yuan first, and then the actual consumption amount will be deducted from the prepayment fee.

Male: It can’t be that expensive?

2: Too expensive? You can buy the "common people package", which costs 250 yuan a month and will give you convenience 10,000 times, an average of 333 times a day, which is a good deal.

Male: This doesn’t make sense! Even if you have diarrhea, you can't have it more than 300 times a day.

1: We also offer a 50% discount.

Male: Okay! OK!

1: 50% off for purchases from 2 a.m. to 4 a.m.

Male: This does not mean that it is for nothing. (To himself) Alas! Forget it, it’s so expensive and I still have to be angry about it, I might as well just find a place to settle it.

2: Hey, hey, hey, I warn you, don’t make mistakes. The whole city is now rectifying the "Five Chaos", and there will be no discussion on how you will be punished.

Male: Yes, (covering his stomach), oh! It’s so uncomfortable! You can't suffocate yourself to death. If a good man doesn't suffer the immediate consequences, give it to him first. (Payment) Check it out! Give me 300 yuan.

1: (receipt)

Male: (step down)

2: (continue listening to the stereo and set the clock from 3.10 to 3.45)

p>

Male: (For a moment, come on stage, move your body, and breathe a sigh of relief). As the saying goes, "People have three urgent needs." It's true, cough! I feel relieved at last. How about you give me your money back?

1: OK, please wait a moment. (Press computer) Sorry sir, you spent a total of 356.25 yuan. After deducting the advance payment of 300 yuan, you still need to pay 56.25 yuan.

Male: (surprised, after a moment) Are you, you, are you sick? How can a trip to the toilet cost more than 300 yuan?

1: You are the only one who is sick. This is computer-based pricing and fair charging.

Male: Didn’t you say that it’s 5 cents in and 3 cents out, so isn’t the total *** only 8 cents?

2: No, that is a fixed fee, which is equivalent to a monthly rent.

Male: What? And monthly rent?

2: Yes, we are recently launching the "Building a Harmonious Toilet and Providing Humanized Services" campaign. In addition to convenience, we have also launched other convenience projects, such as providing: paper towels, towels, hot water , perfume, spaghetti, mousse...

Male: Why don’t you just squat in a spear pit and charge so much?

1: We adopt bundled charges. There are a total of 9981 chargeable items. According to computer calculation, you have accepted 56 of our services at your convenience at the same time. The total is ***Spent 356.25 yuan.

Male: Please tell me, what exactly did I consume?

1: Okay, I can tell you one by one. Let me ask you, is the spear pit where you squatted No. 18?

Male: No. 18? yes!

1: That’s right, our spear pits have two types: free and paid. Among them: No. 4, 14, and 24 are free, and the number 18 in the spear pit you squat in is auspicious. number, so we have to add a number selection fee of 50 yuan.

Male: Rantanqin, why didn’t you tell me in advance if there was a free one?

2: Needless to say, the three free spear pits are being overhauled. (Male: Isn’t this deception?) Okay! Let me ask you again, when you were squatting in the spear pit, did you see colorful lanterns and hear beautiful music?

Male: Music? (Nods) It seems so.

2: Okay, that’s the ringtone service we provide, 15 yuan.

Male: Aren’t you just joking? There is a charge for this too, what else?

1: We also provide you with: transportation credit, weather forecast, stock market information, visitor display...

Male: Okay, okay..., you This is a forced sale. You should tell me whether you need these services before it is convenient for me.

1: This is a computer setting. There are 81 buttons marked in front of your pit. You can manually cancel it if you don’t need it. If you don’t cancel it, it will be regarded as the default.

Male: It’s really dark here.

2: Don’t talk nonsense. Our toilet is not dark. It is equipped with fluorescent lamps, spotlights, and colorful lights. It is absolutely bright.

Male: Okay, I’m in trouble, give me the bill, and I’d like to see what other messy items there are.

1: OK, please show your ID card or other valid documents.

Male: What? Do I need to check my ID when I go to the toilet?

1: Sir, don’t get me wrong, we are enforcing the regulations: first, you need to make an order with a valid ID; second, you need to confirm whether you are a citizen of this city;

Male: Yes What difference does it make if you are not a citizen of this city?

2: Sorry, if you are from out of town, we will have to charge additional roaming fees due to cross-regional consumption.

Male: You are simply overcharging. I want to complain to you.

2: Want to make a complaint? No problem, our complaint hotline here is 3838438.

Male: (grabs the phone and makes a call)

(A series of phone voices: Female voice: Hello, this is the Star Toilet Telephone Automatic Service System, please select the language Category: Please press 1 for Mandarin, press 2 for English, press 3 for Russian, press 4 for Indian, press 5 for Malay...)

Male: (Press the phone once: beep)< /p>

Male: (Impatient) Okay, what a mess.

1: That’s right! Brother, I advise you to pay the bill and leave as soon as possible.

Male: Leave? This is really irritating. No, I must ask you for an explanation today.

2: Ask for an explanation? Let me tell you, a barrister came yesterday, his surname is Huang, by the way, Huang Rongguo. His eloquence is no worse than yours, right?

Male: What’s wrong with him?

2: He also said that he wanted to reason with us. He spent two or three hours working on it. You know what the final result will be.

Male: What happened in the end?

1: How about it? Not only did he fail to convince us, he also suffocated himself and made him urinate and urinate urgently. In the end, he had to do it obediently in my place. Second consumption.

Male: Ah! (Fell down)