Prose written for the past years

About life, about worldly fate, about those young and no longer young memories, like the growing water plants, growing crazily in the Dongting of Shuiyue. The days have entered autumn in a leisurely way. The moment I looked up at the sky, I looked back at the bluestone path where I came from, and it was already yesterday on the other side of the road.

Tonight, all the prosperity has faded away, and I am haggard in the wind. How I hope that when I turn back, the path will be clear of wind and rain. I can't look back, I can't go back to the past, and it's impossible to go back to the past.

Tonight, let the misty smoke carry Yunmeng’s worldly affairs away without a trace.

(1)

There are many consciousnesses that have no reason.

Forty-five years have passed, and many things are still vivid in my mind. For example, after closing my eyes at night, I suddenly began to miss many old times, the old moonlight, and those old old songs. . In a blink of an eye, autumn is already here, with a few kites flying in the deep blue sky. This season is very comfortable, just like the kites, free and unrestrained. Autumn is the most yearning for people, the most heartbreaking, and the most reminiscent of the past. There are always some traces of time of different shades that spread across the heart and are burned into the cold and warm life CDs.

After a sigh, there were many ripples in the sea of ​​​​heart. The breeze blows over the bright moon, and the bright moon shines through the dust. I hum my old years in the dark night.

When the universe first opened, I was just a seed for the reproduction and handover of human beings from generation to generation.

When the spring breeze turns into rain, it is quietly sown, and the buds of life are green and lush, so they gradually sprout in the mellow warmth of the mother's body, absorbing the mother's essence and growing.

One day, I will grow up to be a brave and responsible man. I will slowly break away from the protection of my parents, search the depths of my dream soul, and want to quietly wait for the expectations of my life.

I was once young, and I once had my own secrets, which I kept locked away. In the deep pool of my eyes, the dreams of the destined boy are soaked.

Passionate, blazing like a flame, hot and bright red, like the eternity of the sun, it stays for me and shines for my life.

Times change and the world changes. Walking on the road of life in Qian Mo, I gradually realized that the heavy responsibility on my shoulders is immeasurable, let alone detailed. Even if the weight of the entire world is placed on the other end of the scale, it cannot balance its heaviness. I have to work hard, whether I love it or not, because I am a man, and as a man, I have to shoulder the responsibility of the family without any regrets; I have to take care of my family's daily life, maintain the integrity and happiness that a family should have, and let My wife and children can enjoy family happiness freely.

I must learn to be strict with my children. Only in this way will they not become pampered. The happy kingdom I created with my own hands, but I can often only watch silently from the sidelines without being able to enter; just because I am a father, my severity will destroy the entire atmosphere. I have no choice. With the existence of children, I must be a good father. This is the responsibility I should bear, and it is also the right and obligation given to me by life. When my children are as fragrant as flowers and as bright as stars, I embrace them in my arms, just like the majestic mountains embracing the small lakes. In fact, this is not only my duty as a father, but also because blood is thicker than water. As we spend time together day and night, they have already unknowingly become the focus of my love and heart.

For this silent love, I must fight and work hard all the time. This love of mine is deep and strong. How can the endurance of a marathon runner be compared with mine? It's just a few dozen kilometers, but I am running for a lifetime. All the way through thorns and thorns, my feet were stained with blood. Even though I was scarred, I could only bury the hurt and pain in a corner of my heart and heal myself alone. In the great ravine of the Yangtze River of life, I have to turn into a boat to ferry my children across safely; in the midst of the wind and rain, I have to stand up and be an umbrella, carving out a small piece of clear sky for my children to relax. Spend everything you have just so that your children can embark on a happy and prosperous road.

However, who can carefully build a Huangquan Road for me?

(2)

There is rain outside the window, so I light a stick of incense and burn it, listening to the rain falling on the pond, listening to the rain hitting the residual lotus, and listening to the harp and harp walking on the ridge.

At this moment, people burning incense in distant mountain temples should be like me at this moment, kneeling in front of the Buddha with a narrow heart, hiding their souls in a corner with lotus flowers in a hurry, and drifting away again. The earth leaves...

In this vast world, is there any desire for a spotless life? The pursuit in life is always vast. Over and over again, I tirelessly search for something called simplicity in the city.

Does simplicity and me seem familiar? Or is it unheard of? I don't know.

I just want to use it to remove the latent grass growing in my soul, so that the heartbeat will no longer be disordered and regular, and the colors in life will be vivid, no longer monotonous and empty.

For a long time, I have felt that human simplicity should be attributed to noble qualities.

Simplicity does not mean that you are ignorant of the world. It just means that you don’t need to be overly colorful, you don’t need to try your best to show your advantages to others, and you don’t need to violate your original intention for the sake of icing on the cake. You just need to stick to your true nature lightly. Allow yourself to be reduced to a pitiful puppet in the shadow of others. Or, the simplicity in my imagination should contain some invisible subtlety and meaning. It can be a kind of silent joy, it can be a kind of sober surge. Perhaps, a truly simple person will regard this rare quality of simplicity as the most common state in life, because it will bring him secret peace, rather than a tool for sensationalism. Of course, there will also be people who disguise innocence as petty bourgeoisie and use innocent expressions to conceal the nature of their desires.

Torture the soul, purify the long-standing dross in the soul, strengthen the weakness that has always been there, and analyze yourself bit by bit in life.

Walking quickly in a city filled with steel bars and concrete forests, you are full of emotions and doubts. The eternal silent time is passing by quietly; however, it seems that it will never end. I'm afraid that my daily mood will lose its beauty in the dull and boring way. How can life just move towards the dusk of old age without stopping?

I have spent many years in such a state of ups and downs, like an illusory nightmare. The scene that is no longer real always makes people feel a little unbelievable and unacceptable.

In the hustle and bustle of the crowd and the complexity of the world, we often hear sighs like this: The angel in my heart wants me to be pure, and the devil around me wants me to fall. Amidst the ups and downs, where should I go? I think that when everyone is bored and restless, it is because they have lost their true self. How can they not feel empty and weak? In the noisy city, there are countless popular directions, popular materials, and avant-garde concepts. It seems that there is no room for scarcity; but why is my heart still chaotic and entangled?

Along the way, I often secretly feel that I need something sparkling to point me in the direction. It may be exciting music, it may be clear words, it may be a person, or it may be a philosophy. of Zen enlightenment. I often gradually calm down in the beautiful music and touching words, without the slightest ripple.

Music can be a single with lyrics, which sings directly into my heart and makes me sing; it can also have no lyrics, just the most concise and soothing tune, without too many modifications, but it makes me Haunted by dreams. The words are all related to the people around me, but they enlighten people's minds and make me think deeply. They are full of endless power and make me feel calm and away from anxiety.

The city is changing with each passing day, and there are many surprises. To be a simple person, just live every day purely, walk in the warm and sweet spring breeze, let the sun splash all over the ground, shine on your heart, and suddenly feel warm. In life, I often meet those simple people who work, love and live down-to-earth. They are extremely generous and extend a warm hand to others when they need it. They do not ask for anything in return, but simply want to help others in distress. In their eyes, simplicity is a kind of strength, a clear blue sky and a beautiful life.

This is a kind of simplicity worthy of our admiration!

(3)

I believe in fate in marriage. In front of the Buddha, the lotus is the flower that interprets my thoughts.

Twenty-two years ago today was the day we received our marriage certificate. Since then, the mysterious siege gate has suddenly opened to us...

In total, we have known each other for twenty-five years. Although we had been classmates in junior high school for three years, we were not that familiar at the time. It wasn’t until five years after graduation that we officially started dating. Perhaps, the length of time we have known each other cannot fully measure the depth of the relationship between people. If memories have a background, it must be the raging red. Floating in my life, it is a color as delicate and beautiful as rose petals. Every time I think of it, I can't help but be intoxicated and reminisce... Or, the memories of my youth... Love is like an ice cream, right?

Gorgeous, sweet, and varied. There is always a moment of cold fragrance and sweetness when entering the mouth, which makes people unable to let go and cannot be completely separated from the memory.

When you were a girl, your jade-like hand that once held ice cream is now the hand that holds the vegetable basket after get off work every day; your heart that once longed for fairy tales is now your heart that is waiting for your children to grow; the colors in your dreams A colorful home is not worth a drink, a peck, firewood, rice, oil and salt in ordinary life. Or, by relying on the theme of love to make the decision, the marriage can be happy and complete. In fact, saying I love you is easy; writing a lingering love letter will also make you extremely moved; but a verbal promise of love is just a blank check that cannot be cashed. However, if you are smart, do you know that a true, beautiful, and touching love letter does not depend on how gorgeous, how elegant, or how original the words are.

The process of love is actually a long journey with high mountains and long roads. In addition to flowers before the moon and under the moon, in addition to eternal vows, it is more about dedication, responsibility, and obligation...

Family needs us The warmth of devoting a lifetime of energy to achieve it.

True love begins slowly after the birth of a new family.

All the preludes of love are just the foreshadowing of love. The rich and exciting main content will gradually appear in the subsequent chapters of life. Stay with your beloved for a lifetime, and in those ordinary things, in those small things, let each other's love overflow freely, so that the pure beauty of memories will never fade, and the fragrance will last forever. If you pay attention, isn't it also a kind of implicit romance? When those winds, frosts, snow and rain come unexpectedly, when those inevitable flashes and blurs in life, the love nest where your and our hearts are tied and our love is always will be a warm harbor for each other to shelter from wind and rain, and an emotional place. Take refuge. It was only when I was lingering in the warm words of my lover that I realized that I was no longer alone.

Because of the blessing of love, I can live a more fulfilling and happier life.

Since then, the lonely soul no longer drifts around, no longer wanders at will, eager to keep the world that two people have together forever. Who can say that this is not a unique kind of wind and sunshine in life? Where is Li? Perhaps, some people will say that no one can live forever relying on some fresh and exciting illusion of housekeeping. In marriage, the most faced things are always reality and helplessness.

And these often happen in the face of reality, which may make us hit our heads and bleed with no way out.

Yes, this statement is truthful, pragmatic, and understandable; however, I hope that my marriage will be both practical and romantic at all times. Marriage should not be just an extremely fragile piece of porcelain, with its exquisite appearance and unrivaled craftsmanship, but should become a sweet, ageless topic that we talk about.

Let love just be love, simple love, let it grow naturally, just like a lily that doesn’t reap if you don’t sow, but it will bloom in the end, and that is the person destined to belong to us; and If love can be given in heaven, all selfishness and desires cannot be taken away on earth. This applies equally to love and marriage.

Don’t constantly compare your shortcomings with my strengths in our married life, constantly calculate your contributions and my gains, and turn every compliment and every acceptance into mutual delivery. price. In that case, the mutual love hidden somewhere in our hearts will definitely fly away with invisible wings.

Only peach blossoms will bloom in the spring breeze, and camels will know how to cherish sweet springs. I often tell myself that you may not be the most beautiful in the world, but you are exactly what I lack and the most suitable one for me. Because of your existence, my life will be so complete. I can walk through this life with you, and I have no regrets. I have always thought to myself that it was no accident that we met, knew each other, fell in love, and stayed together. Originally, true love is very simple. If you love it, you will love it. The laughter and joy from the heart are enough. It has nothing to do with other disturbing material, status, age, power, wealth. It may be immature, but it is pure and has no conditions attached. Continue to write the madness and vigor of love on a piece of white paper. Although it is young and immature, it is also sincere.

Mature love should be rational. The person you have a special crush with welcomes the rising sun every day and bids farewell to the dusk. The tranquility in it is self-evident.

Mature love should be a strong coconut tree, right? The fruits are abundant and the branches and leaves are luxuriant, shrouding warmth over our home for a long time...

We have been married for twenty-two years. My dear, did you ever know? I will still silently pray to God for our love, and pray that our marriage, a piece of porcelain, will be evenly coated with a layer of red glaze when it is still just clay, and will go through flames, high temperatures, and failures. Despite all the tests, that special red still penetrated deeply into the texture of the porcelain. Although it was restrained and silent, it followed it through life and death. Even if the glaze red color is not bright enough and eye-catching enough; however, no matter the years of wind, frost or scars, they can never be separated from each other.

This is the marriage I really need.

(4)

It is raining outside the window again, and rainy nights are the most lonely. At this moment, I am sitting in loneliness, muttering, and the sad old song is playing in a loop. I stood up and drank tea. The warmth of Pu'er tea filled the autumn air, and I felt empty and worried about too many past events. I have always been so sensitive, and I hope I can be calmer, so that I won't be hurt too much.

Maybe? It will happen eventually!

After living in a city for a long time, I feel a little numb to it and indifferent to its changes.

The mist and rain outside the window are still there, and the pavilions and waterside pavilions are still there. I was surprised that I could not even see the scenery around me, and turned a deaf ear to the beautiful scenery of the changing city. In fact, this is just a partial renovation of the old city. I walked past it many times without paying attention to its drastic changes and the color it added to the city.

Really, my nerves are so numb, and I am so slow to notice the traces of urban changes.

I think my childlike innocence has faded away, I no longer have curiosity about the changes and development of new things, I no longer have a heart to explore, I no longer have a concern for the city I love...

People must maintain a childlike innocence in order to retain some innocence, a little curiosity, and a little joy in the ever-changing things.

Time flies, time flies by, I am willing to silently let my heart, accompanied by beautiful longings and innocence, sway slowly and silently, swaying out a light poem, an elegant dream. I don’t want to put any heavy shackles on my inner world, and I don’t want to whine, cry, and ask for help in the shackles of my heart...

I like to give myself to I have full control of everything, and I am never willing to give up the simple return to simplicity of childlike innocence in pursuit of profound significance.

Being a man of true temperament has always been my longing. I don't want to suppress myself, force myself, or restrict myself again and again in order to become an excellent man that is hard to find in the world. I don't seek depth, just simplicity. In my life, I just want to arrange my own simple life.

I don't need to live in a luxurious residence, which makes me have enough food and clothing; I don't have unattainable dreams, which makes my sleep peaceful; I don't have delusions, which makes my mind clear. I like to observe the world and life quietly, and then slowly taste its beauty and harmony. This happiness may seem ordinary on the surface, without too much splendor and magnificence, but in fact it is profound and quiet, with an intriguing twinkle hidden in it.

For me, the thrill of the soul and the enjoyment of life are all there.

People are always in love with each other, and they can never let go of the burdens that are exclusive to them.

A lifetime of struggle, accumulation and competition are actually things outside the body and do not belong to you. At least one day in the future it will no longer belong to you. Walking in the world with ease and ease is simple and beautiful. In fact, people can be like birds. The earth is the territory of humans, but it seems that it is not entirely, but you can breathe freely and walk freely.

Life, in fact, is just like the moistness of a cup of tea. Just like it and be happy. Happiness is really simple. You can have a bright smile when facing difficulties and remain strong in the face of cruelty.

I don’t want to be profound, I just want simplicity. Perhaps it lacks openness, perhaps it lacks completeness, but it is what I have longed for and longed for.

I like to write freely and leisurely, and put my true feelings into the pen simply and clearly. Maybe my strokes are not deep enough or expanded enough, so what? I just let my brush strokes wander freely, trying to outline the initial appearance of my real life. Even if it is clear and shallow, it is also clear and long; even if it is simple, it is also simple and joyful.

Life will never be static, it will change colorfully without knowing it. I like to watch spring go and come back with a simple mentality; watch the trickle of life flowing quietly; watch the joy, anger, sorrow, and joy in life stretch out into the distance. A simple life of not complaining and enjoying yourself is happiness.

In this way, everything is just a touch of joy, but beauty overflows in my heart...

(5)

I want to close the window and sleep. The rain kept falling and there was no sign of rest.

There was thunder, mixed with lightning, and the rain was as heavy as pouring beans, which caught people off guard, and people began to look for shelter from the rain.

The dream is pleasant, the sound of clouds and water is cold, and the courtyard is still beautiful. I am no longer young and indifferent to many joys and sorrows of the world. I slowly discarded them on the road of mortals. My luggage became increasingly empty, but my load became heavier and heavier. How long is my life left? Why are all the memories I have left behind purple? Perhaps pain and happiness are essentially a kind of gorgeous and distant loneliness.

If someone dares to say that he is always happy, then the people around him usually live in pain.

In this bustling and chaotic world, if you want to be 100% immersed in endless happiness every day, probably only a crazy lunatic can do it.

Schopenhauer once said that life is pain, and we can turn pain into happiness.

Pain is a strange taste that is worth chewing over and over again. If we don't go through this pain and the days pass by like years, it is impossible to seriously appreciate the joys of other lives.

Every ordinary person in the world will inevitably wander and hesitate between pain and happiness. In fact, the journey of life is originally a kind of wandering that cannot be escaped. It’s not just you, it’s me, and everyone, more or less, has experienced a life that is by no means single and complicated like this.

Although we have different circumstances, different feelings, and different growth processes from others, everyone’s ability to endure pain and enjoy happiness cannot be measured in the same way; but we all hold on tightly. He held his head high and struggled to survive, not just you and me, but everyone, all human beings.

We have experienced the overlapping pain and happiness in the past, but we cannot clearly understand the future situation; precisely because we do not know, life becomes more magical and beautiful. Being able to feel pain is powerful evidence of our survival.

Pain and life are actually closely related. Life is our eternal lover, and pain is a trace of the mortal world that we cannot abandon.

A life without pain is not true happiness. If there is only happiness without pain, happiness cannot be called happiness, nor can you feel the splendor of the sun, moon and stars.

Pain is also another beautiful privilege in life. Pain will quietly allow us to gain some kind of understanding, and life will gain some kind of perfect sublimation, like a kind of poetic Zen. After the pain of stumbling and stopping, we unknowingly Growth has been achieved; and pain is also the price that must be paid for growth.

When we look back at the bluestone path, the beloved games of childhood, the hazy heartbeat of youth, the youth embellished by the first delicate rose, all the joys of pure happiness , isn’t it just like this, always in silence, forgotten by us inadvertently at the back of time, and can no longer be picked up?

Even if yesterday could be repeated, in which nook and cranny can we really find the joy and pain when we return to the starting point? Perhaps, they have already been blended, matched, imprinted, and perfectly connected.

If life can be condensed into a day and night, happiness is day and pain is night; one is bright and the other is dark. Day and night are both indispensable building blocks of our time and space.

We live in such a rapidly changing world, accepting varying joys and bearing countless pains, for ourselves and for all those who love us; as for those who do not love us, Even those who hate us might as well learn to ignore those burning eyes of contempt and let them scatter gently with the wind in the cycle of time...

We feel the brightness of spring and the beauty of summer The heat, the contemplation of autumn, the desolation of winter. We have learned to cherish every flower and the full moon, and every misty and rainy season, only because we can still have unrestrained happiness and deep-rooted pain, we can understand the profound meaning of the world. Happiness is the immortal legend of life, but pain is the eternal follower of life!

In the coming years, there will still be countless happiness for us to savor carefully, and there will still be a lot of pain for us to chew over and over again.

(6)

A string of dignified footsteps stirs up memories that are gradually drifting away, and the trace deep in the memory, the pain and joy lingering in front of you, suddenly disappear. Faint and appear.

I live in Lingnan, where the lakes are full of banyan trees. Although I still cherish the sadness of nostalgia for the past, I still secretly long for a heart as elegant as a lotus. Therefore, I like to stay in the valley of the soul when I have a little leisure time, open my dull heart, and enjoy the comfort of returning to innocence. The echo of the heart valley allows me to find my true free and unrestrained self in the twists and turns of the golden years, integrate myself into my own stream of life, and follow the mountain trails to find my favorite lush flowers and plants, leisurely Self-sufficient, intoxicated by the flying water flowing down three thousand feet in Li Bai's pen.

Perhaps, everyone has a small and exquisite picture hidden deep in their heart like me! The colors are applied eclectically, with full backgrounds, dense mountain flowers, light green grass, and rich colors, completely displayed, as if you are in a garden with colorful butterflies in a moment. , rich and full-bodied.

Many times, we don’t know that we already have too much, and we blindly pursue the small things and limitations that are shrouded in mist; and hope to always have those small things in the palm of our hands. something with limitations. Therefore, in order to keep those small and limited things, we have no intention to understand ourselves. After understanding, we can have the broadness and loftiness. Wandering in the indifference of the heart valley, I gained a kind of happy tranquility and a kind of beautiful coolness. In this green ocean of the soul, I can get the release of my soul, like a fish swimming freely in the deep and quiet blue sea.

The flow of thoughts embraced me, making me feel joyful and at ease like never before.

The paintings of nature meander straight up, intertwining into a vast and profound landscape.

In nature, even if we claim to be the spirits of all things, we are actually just a speck of dust in nature, small, erratic, and fleeting.

Originally, we belong to nature, therefore, our happiness comes from nature, our pain is attributed to nature, our gains belong to nature, and our losses will be dissolved into nature.

Nature is both vast and deep, and also straightforward and simple, just like the innocent heart that we are fascinated by, crystal clear and clear.

We seem to have nothing, but in fact we have everything.

The rough reality needs to be polished with a little fragrance; the dust of the world needs to be washed away repeatedly and carefully. A mind that has accepted too many rules and dogmas and has become rigid and tired needs to take a deep dip in the natural spiritual spring in order to find the deep and shallow footprints of an innocent heart. How rare and lovely an innocent heart is. Is there anything more precious and perfect than this innocent heart in the world? I believe, no. Therefore, we should cherish that simplicity and authenticity, and not let it be contaminated by the dust and dirt of the world, or mottled with the glimmering light.

Time is like a song, life has its limits, and comfortable and leisurely days are not easy to come by. Therefore, when we enjoy the moment, we must know how to grasp it and not let it drift carelessly in the endless dust. The wind drifted down until it was trapped in the vortex of the desert of time, unable to turn back. At this moment, I gently closed my eyes, took a breath of warm breath, and felt the silence in the ancient wilderness with my heart. The simple and honest spirit, along with the soothing beats, creates a low rhythm. You can imagine soaring and make your mind become indifferent, so that you can return to nature and touch the inner true meaning of life.

Life is not originally an ethereal void, traceless. Whether the trajectory of life is solid or not depends on the soul, not the external beauty and publicity.

There was the sound of wind moving outside the window. Rainy nights are always long, and people on rainy nights are always lonely.

Loneliness is just a state of alienation, but I promised myself that when the song ends, I will not let myself continue to be sad.