Does the heartache of breaking up really hurt?
Does the heartache of a breakup really hurt?
The tragedy of a breakup in the world comes in different forms, but the one thing that remains the same is that it hurts. The following is what I recommend to everyone: Does the Heartache of Breakup Really Hurt?
According to the International Society for the Study of Pain, pain is an unpleasant sensory and emotional experience associated with actual or possible tissue damage. Borrowing this concept, "distress" may be defined as "an unpleasant feeling and emotional experience accompanied by actual or possible social rejection." Anyone who has experienced it may know what I'm talking about. Heartache is really painful, like a lump in the throat, which is uncomfortable.
Winter is the season of saying goodbye. Through content and status analysis on Facebook, statisticians found that December 11th is the day with the most breakups. This time, let’s talk about the topic of breakup heartache.
Research has found that social rejection (such as being ostracized, isolated, rejected by the person you love, falling out of love, etc.) is as painful physically as real pain. In a study published in 2011, researchers scanned the brains of 40 people who had recently suffered heartbreak from a relationship breakup and found that when they looked at a photo of their breakup lover and stabbed their forearms with a sword orchid, they experienced pain. The brain activity was comparable, and on a pain scale of 10, the sting was an 8.
Brain imaging shows that the feelings of rejection and physical pain we experience due to social rejection have the same neural basis. Some researchers believe that both physical pain and psychological pain trigger activity in the same brain areas due to the principle of simplicity in evolution: there is no need to separate the two types of pain into two different neural networks to respond, so similar brain areas respond to these two types of pain. Both emotions are responsible for the same thing.
If rejection really hurts, will taking painkillers reduce the pain? That may be the case. In one experiment, subjects were divided into a painkiller group and a placebo group. The two groups of subjects took different doses of painkillers or placebo every day for three weeks.
The results showed that compared with the placebo group, the painkiller group had fewer heartaches per day. Brain imaging also confirmed that after being rejected by social networking sites, subjects who continued to take painkillers experienced less pain than those who took placebo. Subjects taking the drug had less activity in brain areas related to pain (anterior insula, dorsal anterior cingulate gyrus). Interestingly, although painkillers can relieve heartache, they also reduce the experience of positive emotions. In other words, painkillers can make people unhappy but not sad.
Other studies have found that being rejected or isolated can also lead to a dulling of pain. Experiments have found that when people are rejected, their emotions become numb, and their physical sensations also become numb, their sensitivity to pain decreases, and their ability to tolerate pain increases. In other words, breaking up acts as an analgesic. . However, treating a breakup as an analgesic is too much of a sacrifice, and relying on analgesics to relieve the pain of a breakup is not a long-term solution. It may be more helpful to return to family and friends and express your feelings. In fact, some research also pointed out that when we are excluded, we will be more likely to look for new social resources and establish new social relationships.
When people were threatened with social isolation in experiments, they were more willing to make new friends, cooperate with others, have more positive first impressions of new goals, and give rewards to new play partners. Also more. But if this new goal is a "castle in the air", face-to-face contact is impossible in the future, or you are worried about the negative evaluation of yourself by the new friend, then the new friend will not become a goal in isolation.
Extended reading:
Breaking up reveals character
Love in the world all looks the same, but the tragedy of breaking up has its own shape.
A friend told me about an experience she had in her early years. She dated a boyfriend for two years. Later, her friend felt that he was really not suitable and broke up with her.
As a result, the man became angry, kept threatening, and finally asked his friend to compensate him for 3,000 yuan in mental damages! My friend still can’t figure out how he calculated the 3,000 yuan, but my friend was very happy I gave him this amount of money, which was not much but not much at that time. From then on, the two of them forgot about each other.
In fact, it is not a problem that 3,000 yuan can solve, but what if it is life-threatening?
Wei Weiyuan, the former singing star, married abroad, and she was about 20 years older than her. Her husband regarded her as a treasure and published a book "My Chinese Wife Wei Wei". In the book, he romantically confessed: "I love everything about you. I am your admirer, your fan, and your slave. You I will be whoever you want me to be. No matter where you go, I will go with you to earn the world's tears. They raised three sons together and even envied others.
However, when Wei Wei lost control and filed for divorce, the normally gentle foreign husband immediately turned into a scumbag: he transferred all his property, snatched custody of his three sons, and asked Wei Wei to support the four of them on the grounds that He was old, his pension was not enough, and he repeatedly tampered with the car, which almost killed Wei Wei.
After two years, Wei Weicai gave up everything, won the third son, and immediately returned to China, still in shock.
What a terrible past lover!
The love between a man and a woman is the most unique emotion in the world. When we are in love with each other, we would like to cut our flesh to make soup for each other; Cut off each other's flesh and make soup.
The highest to the bright sun and the moon, the closest relatives to the distant couple.
People have many sides. We can be "excellent employees" in our work, we can be "good people" in the eyes of our neighbors, we can also be "old men" in the eyes of our friends, and we can even be "good guys" in the eyes of our friends. In the hearts of parents? A filial son
We seem to have many trump cards, and each trump card can show our different personalities, but there is one trump card that can best reveal your true character, and that is breakup After you.
Wen Zhang, who had always been successful in acting, immediately abandoned Yao Di after his cheating was exposed, and returned to Ma Yili to stage another marriage proposal. After Tao Zhe's cheating was exposed, he immediately held a press conference and made a WeChat chat into a PPT to tell the world: I was forced to have an erection! Love is beautiful, but there are so many scum. A person who comes and goes in love without any responsibility at all, who does not respect his lover or even the third party, his true character can be seen clearly.
And there are many chilling examples around us: some people even smashed their children’s kettles after divorce, on the grounds that they would not let the other party take anything away. After a breakup, some people even have to settle accounts for washing machines and televisions one by one and then divide them equally. Some people become extremely violent after a breakup, crying, making trouble, and hanging themselves, forcing each other to die. In order to monopolize the property, some people deceive the other party into fake divorce. In fact, the fake marriage comes true, forcing the other party to leave the house...
Green face and sharp teeth, unsightly, forcing each other to death every step of the way.
Mr. Mu Xin once said: Good love in the end consists of wisdom and feelings.
Zhang Ailing knew that Hu Lancheng was a traitor and a prodigal, a man who loved her but had low self-esteem. He once relied on Zhang Ailing's charity to live, but instead fell into the arms of other women. Until her death, Zhang Ailing never said a bad word about Hu Lancheng. She only left one sentence: "Because I understand, I am compassionate", which made the world sigh with emotion, and Hu was full of praise and apology to Zhang.
Jin Yuelin fell in love with Lin Huiyin, but was rejected and remained unmarried all his life. However, he always followed Lin and became her regular "good neighbor". Even when Lin Huiyin and Liang Sicheng had conflicts, they had to find Lao Jin. Come and seek justice. Jin Yuelin protected Lin's life with the purest and tenderest love until Lin's death. He wrote an elegiac couplet with tears: "A poetic Qianxun Waterfall, an April day in the world forever."
We will lose a lot of things in our life, including youth, work, honor, money, and even life. We are generous, and we knock out our teeth and swallow them up. We can actually tolerate a lot of losses, but why can’t we? Tolerating the loss of love must turn the once most intimate joy into the most ruthless fight?
Because only when you can't get it and have lost it can you reveal your true nature.
A good friend of mine got divorced. The couple had been together for more than ten years and only had a car and a house. During a divorce, a man is afraid that a woman will have financial difficulties, so he takes the initiative to ask for a car instead of a house; a woman is afraid that a man will be in financial distress, so she secretly buys an insurance policy for him, and does not tell the man until he is financially comfortable. I felt sad when I saw it and cried when I heard it. Although love is gone, righteousness continues.
Loving someone is like a bet. Some people have flowers blooming in spring, while others are doomed. What’s the difference? The difference lies in whether each other has a compassionate heart.
If he or she hides deep feelings for her ex and ends with reality, don’t be upset, because she will definitely have a deeper love for you in the future; if she is cruel to her ex, cuts off all ties and takes advantage of you, you Don't be complacent, as things turn around, sooner or later it will be your turn.
How to treat love and how to treat non-love is the last trump card in our human nature. When this trump card is revealed, will you be surprised by your own viciousness, selfishness, coldness and ruthlessness? And These scumbag words and deeds cannot be seen in other areas of your life.
If you love, you will love, give without regrets, wholeheartedly; if we part, we will part, let each of you be happy.
There is no need to go to great lengths to deny who you were, and there is no need to use all means to hurt the person who once warmed you. Even if love is gone, don't turn it into hate.
Be able to make peace with yourself and the past. This breakup state can determine your future life and win.
In the past, there was a small red clay stove, but now thousands of mountains are covered with snow and cold. The judgment of whether a character is good or bad depends entirely on people's thoughts. Life is unpredictable and fate may arise or disappear. If we can still meet each other on the street corner, we can say hello calmly:
Oh, so you are here too. ;