What happened to a person?

chapter one

In the upper reaches of the Don River, the first spring after the war seemed bright and vigorous. At the end of March, the warm spring breeze blew from the Azov Sea for two days and two nights, and the beach on the left bank of the Don River was clearly visible. Because of the snow, the valleys and caves on the grassland seem wider than before, and the river breaks through the ice and surges, making the roads almost impassable.

On this unlucky day of traffic jam, I happened to go to Bukanov town. It's not far, only about 60 kilometers in total, but it's not easy to take this road. A comrade and I set out before sunrise. Two well-fed horses pulled the leash tightly and dragged a heavy carriage with great difficulty. The wheel got stuck in the wet sand mixed with ice and snow, all the way to the hub. An hour later, on the horse's waist and thighs, under the thin belt of the back track, dense white sweat circles have appeared. Because the harness is coated with thick asphalt, it strongly and intoxicates the smell of horse sweat and warm asphalt in the fresh air in the morning.

When we meet a place where horses are particularly difficult to walk, we will get off and walk. The soaked snow crunched under the saddle, making it difficult to walk; There is still thin ice on both sides of the road, which shines like crystal in the sunlight, which makes it more difficult to walk there. It takes about 6 hours to walk, and only 30 kilometers to reach the ferry of Yelanka River.

This river is not big. In front of Mohovsky Village, several places often dry up in summer. Now, on the swamp next to the poplar, the river overflows for a whole kilometer. To cross the river, you must take an unstable gondola, which can only carry three people at most. We sent the horse back. In the shed of the collective farm on the other side, there is a weather-beaten old jeep waiting for us, which was left there in winter. The driver and I jumped into the old boat in fear. Comrade and his luggage stayed on the shore. As soon as the boat was untied, water gushed out from several parts of the rotten bottom like a fountain. We plugged the leak with something at hand and scooped water from the bottom of the boat all the way. An hour later, we reached the other side of Yelanka River.

The driver released the car from the village, went to the boat again, picked up the paddle and said, "If this damn wooden basin doesn't sink in the water, it will come back in about two hours, not earlier."

The village is far away, and there is silence near the dock. This kind of cold and cheerless scene only exists in sparsely populated places in late autumn and early spring. Wet moisture floats in the river, and it also brings the bitter and humid smell of rotten poplars. From the remote grassland of the Huo Piol River lost in the purple mist, the breeze brings the fresh and elusive fragrance of the land just liberated from the snow.

On the nearby river beach, there is a fallen fence. I sat on the fence and wanted to smoke, but I reached into the right pocket of my cotton-padded jacket and found that the pack of white sea brand cigarettes was soaked, which was really annoying. When crossing the river, the waves hit the low side of the ship and poured in, and the muddy river splashed all the way to my waist. At that time, I had no time to think about cigarettes. I had to throw down the paddle and scoop out the water as soon as possible so that the boat wouldn't sink. Now I deeply regret my negligence. I carefully took out the packet of soaked cigarettes, squatted down and spread the wet and yellow cigarettes on the fence.

It's already noon. The sun is as hot as May. I hope the cigarettes will dry soon. The sun made me almost regret wearing a soldier's cotton-padded jacket and trousers. This is the first really warm day since beginning of spring. So I sat alone on the fence, completely in silence and loneliness, took off my old military warm hat and let the breeze dry my sweat-soaked hair from rowing hard. It's really pleasant to stare blankly at the white clouds floating in the light blue sky.

chapter two

After a while, I saw a man coming from behind the house at the end of the village. He is holding a very small boy in his hand. According to the figure, it looks about five or six years old, not more.

They waddled towards the dock. Go to the car, turn around and walk towards me. This is a tall man with a hunchback. He came up to me and whispered, "Hello, buddy!" " "

"Hello!" I shook my big hand.

He bent down and said to the child, "Say hello to uncle, dear son. You see, he is a driver like your father. But we drive a big truck, but he drives this kind of car. "

The child looked at me with a pair of blue eyes as clear as the sky, revealing a smile and boldly extending a bright red and cold little hand to me.

I shook it gently and asked, "You old man, why are your hands so cold?" It's so warm, but you're frozen stiff? "

The little guy showed naive and touching trust, leaned on my knee and raised two pale eyebrows in surprise.

"Uncle, how can I be an old man? I am a child completely, and I am not cold at all; My hands are cold because I threw a snowball. "

My father took off his crumpled backpack and sat lazily beside me and said, "It's bad luck to bring such a guest: he really wears me out." If you take a bigger step, he will have to run away. Hey, it's nerve-racking to accommodate such infantry. One step leads to three steps, but he still can't keep up with me, just as the tortoise can't keep up with the horse. But you must keep an eye on him at all times. As soon as you turn around, he will either sneak into a big puddle to play, or break off a popsicle somewhere and eat it like candy. No, traveling with such guests is really not a man's job, let alone walking! "

He was silent for a while, then said, "Dude, are you waiting for your boss?"

I felt it inconvenient to explain to him that I was not a driver, so I replied, "It will take some time."

"Are they from the other side?"

"yes."

"Do you know the ship will arrive soon? “

"I'm afraid it will take two hours."

"That will have to wait for a while. All right, let's take a break. I'm not busy anywhere anyway. Just now, I came to have a look: one of our driver's brothers broke down, so I thought, let me have a cigarette with him. Smoking or death, it is always difficult to be alone. You have a good life: smoking. You seem to have got your cigarette wet, haven't you? Hey, man, a soaked cigarette is like a sick horse. There is nothing to say. Come and smoke my spicy tobacco. "

He took out a shabby red silk cigarette bag from the pocket of grass green trousers and rolled it like a tube. He untied the cigarette bag, and I saw a line embroidered in one corner of it: "For my dear comrades, for the female students in the sixth grade of Lebiejiang Middle School."

We smoked very spicy local tobacco and were silent for a long time.

I was about to ask where he took the children and what forced him to travel on such a muddy day, but he asked first, "Why, have you been driving during the war?"

"Almost all the time."

"At the front?"

"yes."

"Well, man, I had a hard time there."

He put a pair of big black hands on his knees and arched his back. I looked at him from the side, and somehow I suddenly felt very uncomfortable ... Have you ever seen that kind of eyes that seem to be immersed in extreme grief and full of despair and melancholy, which makes people unable to bear to see more? This is what I saw on the face of the interlocutor I met by chance.

He broke off a bent dead branch from the fence, rowed silently on the beach for a while, drew some puzzling numbers, and then he spoke:

"Sometimes I can't sleep at night. Open your eyes in the dark and think: Alas, life, life, why on earth are you torturing me like this? Why did you punish me like that? No matter day or night, I can't get the answer ... no, never! " He suddenly woke up, gave his son a deep push and said, "Come on, baby, let's play by the river. Children can always find something by the river. " Be careful not to get your feet wet! "

Just now, when we were smoking silently, I secretly looked at the father and son and found a strange situation.

The children wear simple clothes, but the material of the clothes is very strong: an old thin sheepskin jacket with a long front, but it fits well; A pair of exquisite Victoria Christina Hesketh, slightly wider, can wear a pair of wool socks inside; One sleeve of this jacket is broken, but it has been sewn up very carefully. All these show a woman's carefulness and a capable mother's hands.

My father's appearance is different: a few holes were burned in the cotton-padded jacket, but they were patched up at random, and the patches on the worn grass-green trousers were not sewn well, but nailed up with sparse men's stitches; Wearing a pair of almost brand-new military leather shoes, but a pair of thick wool socks are moth-eaten, which is obviously not taken care of by women. ...

At that time, I thought to myself, "Either I am a widower or my relationship with my wife is not good."

He sent his son away with his eyes, coughed a few times in a low voice, and then spoke again. I am all ears.

chapter three

"In the beginning, my life was very ordinary. I come from Voronezh province and was born in 1900. Participated in the Red Army in the Civil War and studied in Kikvidze. 1922 during the famine, I went to Kuban to make cattle and horses for the rich peasants, but I didn't starve to death at last. But my father, mother and sister all starved to death at home. I'm the only one left, lonely. A year later, I came home from Kuban, sold my little house and came to Voronezh. I first worked in a woodworking cooperative, and then entered a factory as a locksmith. I will get married soon. My wife grew up in a nursery. Is an orphan girl. What a nice girl! Happy, gentle, intelligent and considerate, I really don't deserve her. She has known the hardships of life since she was a child. Maybe she has developed such a character. For others, she may not be very good, but you know, I am not others, I can see clearly. To me, no one is more beautiful and satisfying than her. Not in the past, not in the future! "

"I come home from work, exhausted, and sometimes I am as fierce as an evil ghost. If you treat her rudely, she will never answer you rudely. No, never: she is quiet and affectionate and doesn't know how to serve you. Although our income is very small, she still tries to make you eat sweet. Look at her and your anger will disappear. After a while, I will hug her and say,' I'm sorry, dear Irina, I was rude to you. You know, I had a bad day at work. So we are even again. I feel very at ease myself. Hey, man, do you know what this means to work? The next morning, I got up and walked to the factory. No matter where I live, everything is smooth and clear! You see, what's the point of having a virtuous wife at home?

"Sometimes I get paid and occasionally go for a drink with my comrades. Sometimes I spill it home and stumble all the way. It must be terrible to others. You will find the streets too narrow, not to mention the alleys. At that time, I was a strong young man, as strong as the devil, and I could drink very much. Even if I am drunk, I can walk home by myself. However, sometimes you have to put a gear on the last leg of the journey, that is, you can climb back, but you can still climb. But she doesn't blame you, shout or make any noise. My Irina just smiled, and Lian smiled seriously. I was drunk and angry. As she took off my shoes, she whispered, "Andrews, sleep against the wall." . If you don't fall asleep, you will roll out of bed. Well, I fell like a bag of wheat, and everything shook before my eyes. Only in my sleepiness, I heard her stroking my head with one hand and mumbling something affectionate, which meant that she was hurting me. ...

"In the morning, she woke me up two hours before going to work so that I could exercise. She knows I can't eat anything until I wake up. Well, she took out a pickled cucumber or something light, poured a small glass of vodka and said, "Have some wine, Andrews, but don't drink any more, my good man." Can you still betray such trust? I drank the wine, thanked her silently with a pair of eyes, kissed her again, and then went to work. If she is rude and noisy when I am drunk, then, for God's sake, I will drink enough the next day. Some families do this, and the wife is stupid. I know I've seen many such stupid women.

"Soon we will have children. First, I gave birth to a son. A few years later, I gave birth to two girls ... after that, I stopped meeting my comrades. Take all your salary home. There is a large population at home and you can't care about drinking at all. Drink a glass of beer on the rest day, and only one glass. Never drink too much.

"At 1929, this car attracted me. I learned to drive, so I started driving trucks. Then I got hooked and didn't want to go back to the factory. I think driving is more interesting. So after 10 years, I didn't pay attention to how time passed. Live like a dream. Hey, 10 years is nothing: you can ask any old man if he has found out how his life is. You'll never find out! The past is like a grassland that disappears in the fog in the distance. When I came out in the morning, everything around me was clear; But after walking for 20 kilometers, the grassland was shrouded in smoke. From here, I can't tell where the forest is and where the grassland is, and I can't tell where the cultivated land is and where the grassland is.

"I worked day and night in 10 years. My income is good, and our life is no worse than others. Children also make people happy: all three of them have excellent academic performance, and their son Anatoly has a special talent in mathematics, and even the central newspaper mentioned him. Where did he get such a great talent in this science? Hey, man, I don't even know. But it makes me feel radiant. I am proud of him, yes, I am really proud of him!

"/kloc-in the middle of 0/0, we saved a little money and built a small house with two rooms, storage room and corridor before the war. Irina bought two more goats. What else do you need to live? The children ate the milk paste. Having a house to live in, clothes to wear and shoes to wear can be said to be enough. It's just that my house was not built in the right place. The land allocated to me covers an area of 600 square meters, which is not far from the aircraft factory. If my little house were built somewhere else, my life might be different. ...

"At this time the war broke out. The next day, the CMC sent a notice that on the third day, we must get on the military vehicle. My family of four came to see me off: Irina, Anatoly and two daughters-Nasjinka and Ollie Juska. All three children are strong. Well, the two daughters inevitably burst into tears. Anatoly just twitched his shoulders as if he were afraid of the cold. He was 16 years old. But my Eleanor ... we have lived together 17 years, and I have never seen her like that. That night, the shoulders and chest of my shirt were soaked with tears, and the next morning it was the same ... When I walked to the train station, I couldn't bear to look at her: my lips were swollen with tears, my hair hung down from my scarf, and her eyes were cloudy and expressionless, like a mental disorder. The conductor announced to get on the bus, but she threw herself on my chest, clasped her hands around my neck and trembled like a tree that had just been cut down ... The children also advised her, and I also advised her,-useless! Other women are talking to their husbands and sons, but mine sticks to me, just like a leaf sticking to a branch, shaking all over and unable to say a word. I said to her,' Be strong, my dear Irina! Say goodbye to me. She is crying. When she speaks, she takes a deep breath with every word: "My … relatives … Andrews … we … will never … meet again in this life!"! ……

"People looked at her and her heart was broken, but she would say such a thing. In fact, she should know that it's hard for me to break up with them, not to go to my mother-in-law's house to eat pancakes. I am so angry at this moment! I tugged at her hand and laid it gently on her shoulder. This seems to be a gentle push. But at that time, my strength was too great, and she couldn't stand still, so she took three steps back in a row. Then she reached out her hands and walked towards me step by step. I shouted to her,' Is that how people leave? I'm fine. Why are you so anxious to bury me alive? ! I hugged her again, and I found her crazy ...

He was talking when he was suddenly interrupted. In the silence, I heard something churning and purring in his throat. The excitement of others also infected me. I squinted at the narrator, but I couldn't see the tears in his eyes. He sat with his head down in frustration, only two big hands involuntarily hanging down were shaking slightly, and his chin and firm lips were shaking. ...

"No, my friend, stop!" I whispered, but he may not have heard me. Then he tried to control his excitement. He said in a hoarse voice that became strange: "I can't forgive myself for pushing the ground even at the last moment of my life!" "

He was silent for a long time. He tried to roll a cigarette, but the newspaper broke and the tobacco was scattered on his knees. Finally, he barely rolled into one, took a few sips, and then coughed and continued:

"I got rid of Elaine and kissed her face, but her lips were as cold as ice. I said goodbye to the children, ran to the carriage and jumped on the pedal when the train started. The train slowly left the station and passed by my wife and children. I saw my lonely children huddled together and waved to me. They tried to laugh, but they didn't. Irina held her chest in her hands, her lips were as white as paper, and she was still mumbling something. Her eyes looked at me unblinkingly, and her whole body swooped forward, as if she were going to walk against the strong wind ... She will always stay in my memory: a pair of hands holding her chest, two pale lips, a pair of eyes full of tears ... I met her in my dream, basically ... Until now, when I think about it, my heart still seems to be hurt by a blunt knife. ...

chapter four

"We formed a team near Bethel Covey in Ukraine. Give me a Gith -5, and I'll drive it to the front. Well, there is no need to tell you about the war. You've seen it with your own eyes, and you know what it was like. I often receive letters from home, but I only reply to a letter once in a while. Sometimes you write in your letter that everything is safe and there are some small contacts. Although you retreat now, you will soon gather strength, and then the Germans will taste the sweetness. What else is there to write about? Life is so boring that I'm not in the mood to write letters at all. Besides, I don't like my mother-in-law, complaining and complaining, and I don't like that guy who loves to cry the most. They write letters to their wives and lovers every day. No matter what happens, their tears and runny noses make a mess of the stationery. He said that his life was very sad and painful, and he was worried about being killed by the enemy. This beast in trousers, with tears and snot, complains and asks for sympathy, but just doesn't think about it. Those unfortunate women and children are no more comfortable in the rear than us. The whole country depends on them! What kind of shoulders should our women and children have so as not to be overwhelmed by this burden? But they were not crushed, but they supported it after all! And those pustules with tears and runny noses want to write that letter to complain, which is really like tapping the legs of hardworking women with a wooden stick. When the poor receive this kind of letter, they will hang down their hands and have no mind to work anymore. No way! Since you are a man and a soldier, you must endure everything and deal with everything if you need it. But if you smell more like a woman than a man, why not put on a swing skirt to make your shriveled ass plump, at least look like a woman from the back. You can weed beets and cows, but you don't have to go to the front. You are there, the smell is enough!

"However, I didn't even fight a complete battle ... during this period, I was injured twice, but both times were very light: one hurt my arm muscles and the other hurt my leg. The first time was hit by a bullet on the plane, and the second time was injured by shrapnel. The Germans punched many holes in my car from above and beside. But I, man, got lucky at first. However, fortunately, fortunately, I finally came to a dead end ...1May 942, I was captured at the gate of Lozovinji, and the situation was extremely embarrassing: the Germans were very aggressive at that time, and there were almost no shells on one of our 122 mm howitzers; My car was so full of shells that the roof was touched; I did the loading work myself, and the shoulders of the uniform were soaked with sweat. I must hurry, because the battle has hit us: I don't know whose tanks are rumbling on the left, shooting on the right and shooting in front, and I can smell burning. ...

"The commander of our car company asked me,' Can we make it, sokolov?' Actually, why do you ask? Comrades may be bleeding and dying there. Can I stay here and ignore them? I answered him:' What words! I should rush over, that's all! "Well," he said, "then go! Full speed ahead '

"I'll go full speed. I have never driven such an express train in my life! I know it's not potatoes, so I have to transport this kind of goods very carefully, but the brothers are fighting with one hand over there, and there are gunshots all the way. How can we be careful at this time? After running for about six kilometers, you can turn to the village road and drive into the deep ditch where the battery company is located. But then I looked up-Oh, Holy Mother-and our infantry were running on the Yuan Ye on both sides of the road, and mortar shells had exploded among them. what am I supposed to do？ Can't turn back? I will try my best to drive. It's still one kilometer from the emplacement. The car has turned to the village road, but, man, I didn't find my brother ... maybe a heavy shell of a long-range gun landed next to my car. I didn't hear the explosion, I didn't hear anything, I just felt that something in my head was broken. I don't remember anything else. How can I save my life at that time, I don't understand; I don't know how long I have been lying eight meters away from the drain. When I woke up, I couldn't stand up: my head twitched, my whole body trembled as if I had a cold and fever, my eyes were dark, my left shoulder rattled, and my whole body ached, as if I had been severely beaten for two days and two nights. I crawled on the ground for a long time before I managed to stand up. However, I still have no idea where I am or what happened. I lost all my memories. But I'm afraid of falling down again. I'm afraid-if I fall, I'll never get up again, and it's all over. I stood and swayed to protect the willow trees in the storm.

"when I regained consciousness, calmed down and looked around, my heart seemed to be caught in a vise: the shells I transported were scattered around me, my car overturned not far away, the wheels were in the air, and the body was beaten to powder, but the battle had shifted behind me ... what should I do?

"To tell you the truth, my legs are weak and my body falls like a bunch of cut grass, because I know that I have fallen into the encirclement, or that I have been captured by fascists. Yes, there are such things in the war. ...

chapter five

"Well, man, it's really hard when you know that you have become a prisoner. No one can understand the taste of this thing at once without personal experience.

"Well, then I'll lie on the ground and listen to the tanks rumbling. Four German medium-sized tanks drove past me at full power, heading in the direction where I just loaded the shells ... What's the feeling? Then the tractor pulled the cannon, the cooking car passed, and finally the infantry passed. The number is small, probably no more than a company that has fought in the war. I looked at them out of the corner of my eye, then put my face on the ground and closed my eyes: I don't want to see them, I feel disgusted from the bottom of my heart. ...

"I thought they were all over, so I looked up and saw six submachine guns striding away from me at a distance of 100 meters. As soon as I saw them, they turned a corner from the street and came towards me. Came without saying a word. I thought,' horror, my end has come.' I sat up and didn't want to lie down and die, so I stood up again. One of them moved his shoulder a few steps away from me and unloaded the bullet from the submachine gun. Wow, people are so interesting: I am neither flustered nor timid at this moment. I just looked at him with my eyes and thought,' He will fly to me with a shuttle soon, but where will he hit it? Head. Or on your chest? "It doesn't matter to me which part of my body he shot through.

"This is a young man, looks good, dark hair, thin lips, sip into a crack, narrowing her eyes. "This guy will kill me without thinking," I thought to myself. Sure enough: he raised his gun-I stared at his eyes and said nothing; The other may be a first-class soldier, who can be said to be older. I didn't know what he shouted, so he pushed him aside, walked up to me, mumbled German, bent down my right arm and touched my muscles. After touching it, he said; "Oh-moo-moo!" Then point to the road, point to the place where the sun sets, which means' Come on, be a cow and a horse for our empire.' Bah, put on airs, beast!

"that guy with black hair, look at my boots carefully-they look good-pointing at them, meaning,' take them off.' I sat on the ground and took off my boots for him. He rudely snatched it from me. I took off my foot cloth and handed it to him, looking at him from head to toe. He shouted, cursed in their words, and grabbed the submachine gun. Everyone else laughed, and then they walked away quietly. Only the guy with black hair looked back at me three times before going on the road. His eyes sparkled like a little wolf. He was angry, but why? It seems that I took off his boots, not that he took off mine.

"Well, man, I really have no place to escape. I had to go to the main road. I was angry with him. After cursing in the clever Voronezh dialect for a while, he began to walk west as a prisoner! ..... I was told to walk, and I really couldn't walk. I only walked one kilometer in an hour, and I never walked any more. You want to move forward in your heart, but your body wobbles and drags one step at a time to insult the drunk. Not far away, a group of our prisoners were arrested. They were all in the same division as me. There are about 10 German submachine guns carrying them. The leader caught up with me, without saying a word, raised his submachine gun and hit me hard on the head with the handle. If I fell, he would definitely put me on the ground with a shuttle, but our brother hugged me, pushed me into the middle of the line and helped me walk for half an hour. When I woke up, one of my brothers whispered to me,' God bless you, don't fall down! Go all out, or they will kill you. I walked with all my strength.

"As soon as the sun went down, the Germans strengthened the escort team, and trucks brought about 20 submachine guns to speed up and drive us forward. We seriously injured people couldn't keep up with everyone and were shot on the road. Two people tried to escape, but they didn't consider that at night, on a moonlit night, people could see you clearly. Of course, these two men were also killed. In the middle of the night, we came to a half-burned village. We were herded into a church with a broken roof for the night. There is not a straw on the stone floor. All of us have no coats and only wear a military uniform, so there is nothing to spread. A few people didn't even wear tops, only coarse shirts. These are mostly junior commanders. They all took off their officers' uniforms, so that people could not recognize whether they were officers or soldiers. Those gunmen were not wearing uniforms. They used to operate naked beside the cannon, so they were caught naked.

"It rained heavily at night and we were all soaked. The dome in the center of the church was either destroyed by heavy artillery or aircraft, and the roof next to it was riddled with shrapnel. Even the altar can't find a dry place. In this way, we had to wander around the church all night, just like a flock of sheep locked in a dark sheepfold. In the middle of the night, I heard someone push my arm and ask,' Comrade, are you hurt?' I answered him, "What do you want, man?" He added, "I am a military doctor. Maybe I can help you? I complained to him that my left shoulder was loud, swollen and painful. He said flatly, "Take off your clothes and shirt." I took all these off, and he began to touch my shoulder with his thin fingers, which made my eyes black. I gritted my teeth and said to him,' You must be a vet, not a doctor. "You heartless bastard, why do you press so hard where others are injured?" But he touched it anyway, and he replied savagely, "Shut up!" Also want to talk to me. Wait, the pain will be worse. "When he spoke, he pulled my arm hard, and my eyes sparkled with pain.

"I woke up and asked,' What are you doing, you fucking fascist? My arm is broken, but you still have to pull it like that. I heard him smile gently and say,' I thought you would hit me with your right hand, but I didn't expect to be a very honest young man. Your arm is not broken, it's just dislocated, but I have shaken it for you. How is it now? Is it better? Really, somehow I feel the pain slowly disappear. I thanked him from the bottom of my heart, but he continued to walk in the dark and whispered, "Is anyone hurt?" Look, this is the real doctor! He is a prisoner, in the dark, or doing his great career.

Chapter vi

"This is a quiet night. The Germans won't let us go out to pee. On this floor, when we were driven into the church in pairs, the captain of the escort called the police?