Degang Guo says fortune tellers kill chickens _ Is it true that Degang Guo says fortune tellers kill chickens?

Do you want the lines from Old Age? Old age is a traditional joke. Every time Lao Guo said it, he was inconsistent and divided. The following are the lines of the traditional paragraph of "Old Age". Hope to adopt!

A: Good old age. Let's say that during the Qianlong period, "there was a lot of money during the Qianlong period." After a long year, I came over and made money together. There is a wind on three days and a rain on five days. The wind does not break (zhe) but breaks (shed) trees. The rain does not hurt the seedlings. The horse is put in the south mountain, and the sword is put in the warehouse. It is a peaceful scene. "That year was much easier. Let's start with the weather.

B: What's the weather like?

A: There is not a saying: "Whether it is cold or not, it will not be a good year; Woe to people if it is not hot. " In my later years, it was really cold and hot.

B: Why?

A: When it is cold, it is too cold not to go out for three or nine days. It's okay to go out. Just like your body, you have to wear more clothes, cotton trousers, cotton-padded jacket, leather trousers, small leather jacket, large leather jacket, outer cloak, leather hat, leather boots and gloves. You have to wear them correctly. You can't shake hands with people.

B: What are you afraid of?

What are you afraid of? I have sweat on my hands. When they shook hands, the cool breeze blew and they froze together.

B: Oh.

Let's wait until the Spring Festival begins.

I can't wait.

Answer: Go to the teahouse and pour a pot of boiling water. Bang! It's open. As the old saying goes, "water friends" and "water friends". It's very cold.

B: How hot is it?

It is so hot that I dare not go out during the day. The pewter covers hanging in the shops on the street melted in the sun and the pewter fell off. It's cloudy to put chickens, ducks and sheep. Or the poisonous sun will burn to death.

B: Then throw it all away.

A: You can't throw it. You can eat that, too Roast chicken, roast duck and roast mutton are all leftovers from that year.

Where is he?

A: People dare not go out during the day, but have something to do at night. After sunbathing during the day, my hair is gone. He left a big bald head that year.

B: Oh, why are some bald in front and not in the back?

A: That's burnt, too. This looks cloudy, and I want to go out and do something on cloudy days. A sliding door and a step. Wow, the sun is out. Hula dancing! Burn your head, not your back, so your head is bald and your back is not bald.

B: What about the one with bald head and bald back?

A: The head is not bald, the back is bald, and it is also burning. One cloudy day, I went out to do business. When I saw the sun coming out, I ran home quickly. Hardly had I stepped into the house when the sun came out. Hula dancing! Burn the back, not the front. Therefore, the back is bald and the front is not bald.

Well, how about this one with hair and that one without hair?

A: It's burnt, too. This also caught up with the cloudy day, and then walked back. Walking, it's amazing, the clouds are thin, and the sun comes out. What should I do? Let's stand under the tree for a while. As he spoke, the sun suddenly came out, but the leaves were not in the way, and the leaves were not in the way.

B: It's very cold when it's cold and very hot when it's hot.

Those were good times. If it rains or not, put on sesame oil. "Spring rain is as expensive as oil, and the people are not worried."

B: "Spring oil is as expensive as oil", in a word, "Spring rain, spring rain, crops are proud (see above)".

A: There were many things left over from that year: linoleum and oil boots. If there was no sesame oil, what do you think they were made of?

Where is the frost?

A: Salt, a little salt (frost). "Xiao Yanshuang takes root in grass", which means adding salt.

B: Hail?

A: Doudou soup.

B: Dew?

A: Vinegar, shouldn't you put vinegar in noodle soup?

B: Is it windy?

A: Sprinkle pepper noodles outside.

B: What about lightning?

A: Flash, sliding surface, handle.

B: What about thunder?

A: Don't eat it when it thunders.

B: Is the pot broken?

A: Ray is grinding noodles.

B: What about the snow?

It is white when it snows.

B: White flour?

A: There is no such thing-it snows, and the old lady comes out and says, "Bring white flour!" " That year was really white.

B: Didn't you just say that Thunder is grinding noodles? No thunder this winter!

Answer: It is completed in summer and goes down in winter.

Yes, there is. Noodles are divided into three grades.

A: Yes, there are good and bad.

Is this road high and white?

A: I landed on the tower-it's nine feet high, so it needs some work.

B: The second sidewalk?

I left the room for a while.

On the ground?

It's on the ground.

B: Yellow-faced woman?

A: I'm going to Huangcun.

B: Bean noodles?

I went to Doudian. Doudian and Douzhangzhuang used to be places to meet bean noodles.

B: soba noodles?

A: I got off the bridge. Tianqiao, Qianmen Bridge, Houmen Bridge and Lugou Bridge are all gone now, and you will meet buckwheat noodles before.

B: How about Jiangmi noodles?

A: I got off Jiangmi Lane.

B: It's Jiao Min Lane.

A: Now it is called Jiao Min Lane. In the past, it was called Jiangmi Lane.

B: What about the black side?

A: It's under the coal shop.

B: How about noodles?

A: I got off at the chopping wood factory-chopping wood.

B: Would you like some mixed noodles?

You eat everything. I don't think you can overcome this disease. You want to eat mixed noodles again

B: Do you have noodles then?

A: Yes, you can't eat if you want. You must catch the wind. Above the city gate, scraping houses, scraping floors, scraping coal shops, scraping firewood splitting plants in coal shops, scraping Jiangmi Lane in firewood splitting plants, scraping Huangcun in Jiangmi Lane, scraping Doudian in Huangcun and scraping bridges in Doudian are mixed together. Come on, eat mixed noodles.

B: He didn't say anything. He told God to have fun in windy weather. What should I do if I eat meat without spending money on food?

A: It depends on what kind of meat you eat.

B: Beef.

A: Big scalper, three people make money.

B: mutton?

A: There are three big-tailed fat sheep and big sheep in Xikou.

B: Pork?

A: Sixth grade? It is also sold on the sixth day.

B: What is the sixth day? Pork!

A: Big ears, small eyes, small tail and black hair. Hum when you walk, that's all.

B: How much is it?

A pig in that car costs 60 Jin. The pot is rotten, and it takes five flowers and three layers to stew this pot of meat, and it smells good in this street.

B: What about those under b:60 kg?

A: Piglets weigh less than 60 kg, and piglets weigh 59 kg.

B: How much is it?

A: It's 97 dollars a barrel.

How about vegetables?

A: Green vegetables can be eaten for a year for a penny. You can also eat vegetables and commodities in summer in winter. Help yourself to cucumbers, lentils, eggplant and peppers.

B: How about vegetarian food?

A: It depends on what you eat.

B: Have something delicious.

A: The bed is so big that every 500 yuan.

B: Gluten?

A: One person can earn 1000 yuan, and the telephone pole is so long that it takes two people to carry it.

B: how to cook! Do you want some tofu?

A: Tofu? Nobody eats.

B: Is it expensive?

A: No one eats for free. The manager of the tofu shop made tofu and stood at the door waiting. There is a half-cooked face on the street to buy food. The shopkeeper walked over, saluted first, and then said, "Uncle, are you going to the street?" Just got tofu, you want two pieces! "The man said," why let me eat again! Last time I ate two pieces of you for nothing, saving face. " "You are famous." "Don't eat, don't eat, shit! "bang! A face twice, and then left. Manned this incense, covering her cheeks and crying.

B: (to the audience) Wow, this grandson is talking nonsense! (Yes, a) The shopkeeper gave someone tofu for free and got slapped. That is beside the point.

A: One side. You have to go early, and eating there is free.

Oh, it's next to tofu. I don't know what to say.

You have an advantage. Which is the edge, which is the gap, which is the edge and which is the corner? You explain it to me.

B: I said you were talking.

A: Just because I'm talking?

B: That's right.

Which one?

Let me ask you something. Is the tofu shop run by a madman?

A: Not crazy.

A fool?

A: Not stupid.

B: hope to get sick?

A: If you don't eat tofu, you won't wish for my illness.

B: Still. He is neither crazy nor stupid, nor makes a wish. Why does he make tofu for free? Didn't you have the capital to make tofu? Just hit him according to his book, sell him, make no money, make no noise, and give it to others for nothing. If people don't buy it, won't he not do it?

A: Yes. You are not crazy, and you are not a fool. Why give people tofu? When you talk on the first plate, you can't say whatever you want. Otherwise, no one will listen to you, even me. I don't want to hear it.

B: (to the audience) Hey, he left it for me. (To A) Come back! Let me ask you, who says tofu is for free?

Didn't you say that?

B: You're right!

Did I mention that?

B: That's right.

A: Why should I ignore it?

Think about it.

Can I talk about my college problems? I didn't say.

Why don't you admit it?

A: Oh, so according to what you said, I said tofu is for free?

B: Yes.

So I said, what did you do to me?

What, a fight

Why did you fight? Just say it.

You can tell me why. Why does the shopkeeper of tofu shop make tofu for free?

A: Of course, there are reasons that will keep you in suspense.

You say.

I said, listen. Tofu is white, so people can eat it for free.

B: The briquettes are still black. This is outrageous! Why give it away for nothing?

A: Why give it to others for nothing? This tofu shop is managed by an unattended person ... It is said that it is not manned but manned. ...

B: You're messing with the shopkeeper here!

One day, the shopkeeper called the man over and said, "why do you call me the shopkeeper?" You are human, so am I, but I took out some capital. You don't have to call me the shopkeeper! " Manned said and left. Dude, why don't people ask someone to take care of their money? The shopkeeper is back. Call him the shopkeeper. The shopkeeper thought: since you call me the shopkeeper, I am the shopkeeper.

I didn't ask you that. Why is tofu given away for nothing?

Haven't you forgotten?

B: I can't forget it.

He has succeeded, so what can he do?

B: That won't do either. You must tell the truth. Why is tofu given away for nothing?

A: I just said that in old age, everything is cheap. Three cows make money and two sheep make money. ...

B: Pigs are piglets under 60 kg, one in 97 yuan.

Yes, and pigs!

I didn't ask you that. I ask you why tofu is given away for nothing.

A: Tofu comes from pigs!

B: Did the pig lose tofu?

A: No, I just told you that a 60 kg luggage case pig is worth one yuan and a piglet is worth 97 yuan. Tofu shop is manned and doesn't sell tofu!

What do you do?

A: He is a pig dealer who sells pigs. Going to the countryside to buy piglets is 97 yuan a year. We must feed it. It is too long. Feed it what?

B: Bean curd residue.

A: Did the bean curd residue grow in the ground or fall from the sky?

B: Tofu residue for tofu!

A: That's clear! He made tofu well, and tofu dregs came into being. When the piglets reached 60 Jin, he sold them for a penny. He bought it for 97 cents, so he earned 96 pigs. He profited from pigs, so tofu was eaten for nothing.

Oh, here's the thing. ..... that's wrong, he even tofu that pig. It's better than saying hello to people and calling them uncle.

A: It depends on you.

B: Come with me? That's more like it!

A: I'm confused. Tofu doesn't eat pigs ... what tofu doesn't eat pigs

B: You're right!

A: Pigs don't eat tofu.

Why not eat tofu?

What is tofu made of?

B: Tofu paste with salt and brine.

A: Yes, tofu is not solid. Just like water and vegetables, you won't get fat after eating them. Tofu residue is made of porcelain, and about 60 kg is enough for such a big one. Net feeding tofu, such a large scale: four, two, five!

B: This is made of porcelain. Do you have to feed it with bean curd residue? Isn't feeding pigs and beans more porcelain than tofu?

A: No, pigs can't chew whole beans.

B: why can't you chew it?

Pigs have no teeth.

B: What? Pigs have no teeth.

That old man, that pig, has no teeth. It was not until the Daoguang period that pigs teethed.

B: This is the first time I've heard of it.

A: You are rare and strange. It's all in this historical outline. Check the history.

B: it doesn't matter if you don't have teeth. I ground it into bean X.

Hey, you lied to me. Pigs don't eat X.

B: Why?

You are an asshole. Pigs don't eat raw beans, and their heads hurt.

B: Not raw? I cooked it with a torch.

A: Asshole! It's strange.

B: why not?

A: There was no fire that year.

B: Huh?

A: I am an asshole. How to make tofu without fire!