Funny lines from the double act in "One Half of Five Hundred"

In this era of continuous progress, we often have to use lines. Lines are the cornerstone of a script and an indispensable factor in the script. So what kind of lines are good lines? Below are the funny double-act lines from "One Half of Five Hundred" that I have collected for your reference. I hope it can help friends in need.

My name is Fu Xiaowu. I am the fifth eldest child at home and am nicknamed 250. (That was originally what it said, but after his repeated requests, it was changed to "one-half of five hundred——————" because when we were talking about the words, he said that if this program was broadcast , people will call him Two Hundred and Five from now on, then he wants me to be responsible)

Hey, hey. Hey, don't laugh. You said my face is as dark as coal. If I blush again, wouldn't it become red and black?

As for this nickname, I don’t want it, but it’s been with me for more than ten years and I can’t bear to throw it away! -------What? What did you say? You ask me how I got this nickname. It was when I was a child. There was a new teacher in our class. That day, the teacher introduced himself in the classroom.

"Classmates, I I am your new teacher, my name is Wu Shushan."

I stood up on a whim and said loudly: "Looking to the northwest of Chang'an, there are countless mountains."

The teacher's face. Became livid.

I was very poetic and said: "I will not let go of the green mountains, and my roots will be in the broken rocks." ——————As a result, I was punished to stand for a class.

Another time, our primary school mathematics teacher said: "I, your mathematics teacher, am still very capable. The Education Committee attaches great importance to me and often discusses teaching issues with me. Every time I returned the car and picked it up." I didn't even think about it and said, "A bicycle?"——————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————————

Another time, the art teacher of our elementary school said: "Recently, some students always say that the teacher is very powerful, famous for his paintings, and his photos are published in newspapers. That's ````" `"Before he finished speaking, I added another sentence: "Is it a missing person revelation?"——————Can you imagine the result? I was made to stand for another class.

Because of my stubbornness, I offended many teachers at school, so I also had a kind of resistance to teachers. Just like this, can my grades be good? Who am I and how could I have ended up in this predicament? So, I went to my brother Lu Ming’s house to find out what he was feeling.

You don’t know, Lu Ming’s house opened a kindergarten. When I got there, I was so proud! Because, there, I know the most. They can only add within 10, but I can also subtract within 10!

After that, I taught them subtraction within 10. However, after the class, my brother Lumen said to me "gently": "Brother, next time in class, you Can you put on a mask?"

"Huh? Why?"

"I have to do business!"

"What does that have to do with masks?"

"Hey, the children in my class have said that if Teacher Fu lowers his head to teach, the first row of tables will get wet. If Teacher Fu raises his head, I was giving a lecture, but the tables in the second row were wet."

"I`````````''

I want plastic surgery! Finally, with the help of Lumen, I went to my good brother Yangshuai’s Yang’s Beauty Salon.

(Yangshuai is a very "cute" little fat guy) It's really interesting to say that Yangshuai is worried about me every day, every night, and anxious every day. Look, he's all swollen. ! ! !

However, fortunately, my operation was an unprecedented success! Not only have the protruding teeth been extracted, but (baring teeth) look, how white my teeth are! ") Haha) "Ha~~~~" Smell, my breath is so fresh!

At this time, everyone was swatting flies and mosquitoes in the air, saying while swatting: "Huh? Where did the flies and mosquitoes come from? They weren’t there just now~~~~~"

That summer, I shaved my head and traveled to Daxinganling. You said I was in a good mood, but, they People said that my head was shaved like a matchstick. I was not angry, I was depressed, and I was unbalanced. So, I hugged the tree and hit it hard. I wanted to vent my anger, but unexpectedly, after a few hits, the tree hit me. I quickly flew back. Fortunately, I ran fast, and brother Fei Xiang sang a song "A Fire in the Winter" and took the blame for me.

After I came back, I got a new haircut to avoid causing a fire. But this time, my classmates said my head looked like a kite. I felt aggrieved! After the last experience, I didn’t dare to make any big move again. , But, I feel uncomfortable, I, this can’t be done, that can’t be done, isn’t it okay for me to cry? Hey, it’s not a sin for a man to cry. I ran outside and started crying. , took off! Fortunately, I was saved by the pilot uncle.

Later, after so many things, my mother felt that this was a feng shui problem, so she worried about my life and made me suffer. In order to get a better education, my family moved from the countryside to the city, and my school status was transferred from a rural school to an urban school. On the day before I left, a girl from our class came to see me off. Oh, I was so touched. Ah!

The girl also burst into tears and said, "Oh~~~~What should I do if you leave?" Tell me, what should I do if you leave? "

"Huh? I? you? "

"Yes, what should I do if you leave? "

I was confused when I heard this, but my mother was anxious. She grabbed me and asked, "What's your relationship with her?" "

"Huh? I? It doesn’t matter! "

"It really doesn't matter? "

"It doesn't matter! "

At this time, the girl became anxious and cried: "Why doesn't it matter? What doesn't matter? If you leave, wouldn't I be the last one? "

Hey, since then, I have changed my ways, not because of anything else, but because of that girl's face, which looks like Fu Jiaming from Class 2, Grade 6, (he is Fu Jiaming) Jiaming) How bad it would be for my image to spread out!

After my hard work, I finally reached the top of the class.

It’s my second year in junior high school and I’m going to be divided into classes. Our "classmate record" trend has also started, and I always leave the "My Favorite Celebrity" column blank, and my classmates always ask me why. Dare to write, I, I am a protective star!

I liked Teresa Teng, who committed suicide; I liked Teresa Teng, who died of illness; I liked Chen Baiqiang, who died; I liked Wong Ka Kui, who fell to death; I liked Leslie Cheung , jumped off the building.

Hey, what else can I say? Who else can I like? Hey! Celebrities, big names, don’t blame me, I’m not afraid of love. A kind of harm!