What should I do if my husband doesn't like to go home (men don't like to go home after marriage)
Many men don't like going home from work, at least they don't like going home right away. Even if I drive home downstairs and turn off the engine, I will quietly light a cigarette in the car, vomit a smoke ring while staring blankly, then get off the bus and go home silently.
As a man, are you like this? As a woman, will your husband do the same? In fact, it's not that a man doesn't want to be at home. He just wants to stay quiet for a few minutes, a few minutes that really belong to him, even if it's only time for a cigarette.
Although these few minutes seem insignificant, for a man, it is a few minutes to relieve the pressure in the workplace and adjust his mood.
Because after walking through that door, he is the husband and he is the father. He loves his wife and children, so he wants to bring them the best, the warmest sunshine, smiles and hugs. So he can only rely on the time of that cigarette to eliminate all other negative emotions and bring warmth and love home.
However, some men really don't want to go home after work. They will find some excuses, such as: they are too busy to work overtime, have no time to socialize with their superiors, have no time to get together with colleagues, and even have no time to work part-time. They don't like going home. The real reason is that they find it too attractive or boring.
If the husband is really gathering with friends and socializing with the boss, the wife will definitely support and understand, but there can't always be so many things outside. If the man comes home very late, or simply waits until you go to bed, it is necessary to pay attention. It may be more than just socializing at this time.
Of course it won't be as bad as cheating. Maybe it's just because he's tired of going home and afraid to go home. Home is too attractive to him. If he wants to hurry home every day like a honeymoon, he must find out the reasons why he doesn't like going home and come up with good countermeasures, so as to be effective.
So what are the reasons why men don't like to go home? What measures can be taken to deal with it?
0 1 feels that he is not needed at home, which makes men feel that they are not needed at home. Such a wife is the most failed, and Liang Shaofen is such a failed wife.
Liang Shaofen is a very capable person. No matter what he does, he is full of enthusiasm, high efficiency and strong execution. She married my colleague Yang Chao at the age of 28. Yang Chao is a typist in the company. He is usually in charge of the printing room in the unit. Often instructed by colleagues, his character is weak.
It stands to reason that their personalities are complementary and their family life should be very happy. Liang Shaofen is usually very strong and keeps the house in good order. Everything in the family should be decided by her and handled fairly and reasonably. But my husband is more and more reluctant to go home after work. If it weren't for ordering takeout, I would work overtime in the company, although there was no work task; Or wandering aimlessly in the street; Or find a place to have a drink by yourself, and then sit until late at night before going home.
It stands to reason that a wife, as a husband, should be more grateful and considerate, because she has worked so hard to keep the house in order. But doing so made her husband Yang Chao feel that he was not needed in this family. He only needs to do two things when he goes home, that is, eat and sleep. All his activities and better suggestions will be ignored or rejected by Liang Shaofen, so why did he go home?
Liang Shaofen was distressed by this, but he was helpless. Later I analyzed the problems in their marriage with her. And suggested that she should let Yang Chao participate more in the discussion of family affairs, and let him do some housework or help the children with their homework. Let him have enthusiasm for family building. People are always more enthusiastic about what they have built and will like it more. Yang Chao likes to design his own style, and he likes to do some small designs. Let him play, not interfere, not veto.
Liang Shaofen did, and sure enough, after work, Yang Chao would go home on time, either doing housework or tutoring the children. Later, they added a new house. Yang Chao used weekends and evenings to design, build and clean up by himself, without any workers. Leng wants to decorate a house of 130 square meters into a warm Chinese-style house within half a year. Liang Shaofen jumped with joy, not only because the house was decorated so well, but also because her husband spent half a year decorating it. Do you think he has no feelings for this family?
[Countermeasures]: Men are born with strong physical strength and like to have a sense of dominance and existence at home. If the wife is too strong and does everything at home, the husband will feel that this family does not need him, and this family has no sense of existence and no meaning of existence. Moreover, his wife's strength will disgust him, so he will instinctively escape and don't want to go home. Therefore, the wife should appropriately give her husband some division of labor and even let him be the boss. Give full play to the positive role of his dominant desire. He works hard and you are happy and relaxed.
Zheng Lili is a very strong person with a strong desire for control. She likes to arrange her life in order at home and force her husband to adapt to the pace of her life at home. But in fact, this life is very monotonous. Repeating such a rigid life every day makes her husband Liu Xiang feel bored and makes him want to escape. Therefore, after work, Liu Xiang also found various excuses not to go home.
For Liu Xiang, home is a place to rest after working hard in the workplace outside, and it should be warm and relaxed. He is the head of a department in the company, and he is under great pressure. Going home from work, I want to do something I like to forget the pressure in the workplace and adjust my state. But his wife arranged a step-by-step home life, which made him feel very bound and bored. He even prefers to play a few games or drink two glasses of wine to relieve stress. But all this, let Zheng Lili depressed very uncomfortable. Finally, he broke out, had a big fight with Zheng Lili, and then simply moved out.
Men work outside for a day, and the pressure in the workplace is very uncomfortable. When he gets home, he will live according to his wife's arrangement, which will make him feel depressed and uncomfortable. Actually, a wife can be generous. When she is free, she can occasionally let the man lead the nightlife after work. It's up to him to stay quietly and chat, play a few games of eating chicken happily, or go out for a night of binge drinking. If the wife can accompany him to do these things, your feelings will certainly not be bad.
[Countermeasures]: Smart women should sometimes be good at letting go, enrich their husbands' spare time, inject fresh elements of male interest into their husbands' lives, and reserve some exhibition space for men's family life. Marriage has not only pots and pans, but also elements that young people like. If conditions permit, you might as well watch movies, play games and drink with him, so that he can feel the romance and happiness with you, which will tie his heart more firmly and make his husband love you more.
Lack of exchange of ideas Liu and Su Gui turned out to be a very loving couple. They talk about everything. Su Gui is busy at work and under great pressure. He likes to tell his wife about the pressure and troubles at work. Liu will listen carefully and sometimes give him advice. The relationship between husband and wife is harmonious.
After having children, Liu was tired of dealing with work, housework and children all day, and was no longer a quiet and patient listener. When Su Gui wanted to talk to her about her troubles in work and life, she still had housework and children in her heart, and she seemed absent-minded. Facing his absent-minded wife, Su Gui had to swallow what he wanted to say.
Later, Su Gui shifted his target. He no longer likes to go home from work, but makes an appointment with wine and rice, tells his inner distress or pride to his good friends and confidants, and likes to get their comfort and appreciation. Su Gui likes to show his boastfulness and self-righteousness, hoping to gain recognition and praise from others. But I seldom get it from my wife. So he refused to go home, preferring to meet friends and female friends and drink and brag to get psychological satisfaction.
In fact, Liu is very unwise. She can let Su Gui share the housework and take care of the baby. Couples can do housework together, chat and communicate while doing it, listen to his bragging and listen to his complaining. This is killing two birds with one stone.
[Countermeasures]: When a husband wants to discuss things with you, he must be cautious, positively affirm his performance, listen carefully to his grievances or setbacks, share his joys and sorrows, and actively seek psychological and emotional voices to keep the hearts of two people close.
The family atmosphere is not harmonious. Ruan Wendong and Feng Xiaolan have been married for five years. Ruan Wendong works outside to earn money, and his wife takes care of the children at home full-time after giving birth. However, my wife is lazy and doesn't like to do housework. Need a nanny after marriage, but where Ruan Wendong's salary is enough for this expense, Feng Xiaolan began to complain. Before long, he felt bored at home and even invited people to play mahjong at home.
Ruan Wendong worked hard outside for a day, but when he entered the house, he was faced with a cold face, an empty house and a cold pot. Feng Xiaolan also asked him to buy food and cook, because he didn't have time to cook with his children, and he also nagged Ruan Wendong that he didn't have the skills, made less money and couldn't afford a nanny. Ruan Wendong was angry and helpless. He doesn't like being greeted by quarrels or cold war at home. He doesn't want to go home and see a room full of women playing mahjong, getting angry or talking endlessly about Zhang's parents and Li's family.
Therefore, all he can do is to protest against the unhappy marriage by not going home. Finally, he couldn't help asking for a divorce.
[Countermeasures]: The wife should create a harmonious and warm family environment, so that the husband can feel comfortable and relaxed, warm and worry-free. Home, after all, is a place to put body and mind, and a harbor where souls come ashore to refuel. How can a man be willing to go home if he can't even go home and relax?
My wife doesn't trust Zhang Lin to be a full-time wife. She is a greedy woman. Usually like to gossip and talk about others. Perhaps because of my stay-at-home wife and the gossip I usually see, I always feel that my husband Tang Wei is hiding something from me, and I feel extremely insecure.
When she is with her husband, she likes to talk with her friends about mobile phones, TV dramas or examples of failed marriages and men. She thought she was beating around the bush to stop Tang Wei from changing his mind and cheating. In fact, she is not at ease with her husband, which is a reflection of her lack of security and her pessimistic marriage prospects.
After a day's work in the workplace, men are physically and mentally exhausted, and they just want to have a good rest when they get home. Of course, I don't want to play hide-and-seek with my wife after I go home and guess the mystery behind her words. I can't stand her paranoia and suspicion. So Tang Wei simply seldom went home after work, and chose to retreat to the outside for self-defense, happy and quiet.
[Countermeasures]: A man needs a warm home and a good wife who cares, loves and trusts him. If a woman like Zhang Lin has a husband who doesn't like to go home, please find out her own reasons first, reduce some suspicions and give men more trust. Trusting men also reflects women's self-confidence and tolerance. A woman's sense of security, besides her husband, should also be a good person and have her own career, so that she can feel more secure.
If marriage is a ship, then husband and wife are the only two sailors on board. Only when we understand and trust each other, share weal and woe and help each other in the same boat can this marriage ship sail to the other side of happiness.
References: "Marriage Psychology" This article is the first original issue of this headline. Author: A monk who studies true feelings will be sued for infringement.