Classic quotations from "The Classic"

Classic quotations from "The Sutra"

The Buddha's Dharma is non-dual. The Buddha does not distinguish between right and wrong, joy and sorrow. The Buddha teaches those who are destined to see salvation, and teaches those who are not destined to reincarnation. Later, the Buddha saw you, and there were two Buddhas. The Buddha no longer distinguishes between right and wrong. If you are happy and you are sad, you will be the Dharma from now on. The Buddha will no longer save all sentient beings. The Buddha will become decadent. The Buddha will be saved by you, but Buddha was happy. ———— Zen Master Kongzhou’s love letter from back then is brought to you.

I heard that you still want to marry me?

It’s hard to say that you want to marry me, but I just want to be with you forever.

Damn it, you are glib, are you a Libra?

Amitabha, you are outspoken, the female donor is not a Scorpio, right? We are a perfect match

Suitable for you Uncle, do you Buddhist disciples still believe this? How did my father lead the team?

Are you telling lies?

Do you dare to believe what monks say if they don’t even eat meat and don’t even have sex with girls? My master said that the words of monks are all lies. Xiaobei, this is not what a monk said. This is what I said. I like you.

——The self-deprecating "The Sutra"

It's all false, why can't we have sex?

If you have the ability, you can find your own fate.

Everything is empty, why can’t we eat meat?

There is no spare money in the temple.

It’s a dream, why can’t you grow your hair?

Your wife is not used to it.

——Zi Tu Zi Egg's "Tuan Sutra"

I heard: At that time, the Buddha saw Subhuti sitting quietly on the lotus platform eating noodles.

The Buddha asked, Bodhi, why don’t you just use garlic?

Subhuti said to the Buddha: World Honored One, my reciting sutras is already smelly enough.

——Zi Liao Zi Egg "Tuan Jing"

Everything is like a dreamy instant noodle. If there is garlic, then it is garlic. If there is no garlic, forget it. Watch at ease and look at the distant mountains. Everything has potential. , think of it this way

Master, I love to eat rice.

.....Okay, today’s breakfast, ah no, let’s stop here for the morning class.

——Zi Zidan's "The Sutra"

Master, why is your Dharma called Kongzhou?

The great abbot said that I can't save people, so It is difficult for me to overcome it by myself, so I gave it the name of an empty boat and left it to myself to cross it.

Then why should I follow you...

You are too obsessed and you will never reach the other side by following anyone, so you might as well just be with me.

Why?

Look, you always ask why.

——The self-deprecating "The Sutra"

Chedan, chanting sutras is just a basic skill. To be a good monk, you also need to be able to read fortunes, woo demons, read Feng Shui, and do charity. Psychological counseling, fabricating the other side, pretending to be open-minded, pretending to be compassionate, and pretending to always smile. Buddhism is boundless, you should learn it slowly. Master, it’s hard to be a monk, why don’t we become a monk?

——Zi Zidan “The Sutra”

Silly boy, what you can spit out is not wine.

Master, do you think I am not drunk?

You have to ask Xiaobei about this.

Xiao Bei ignored me.

Well, you’re not drunk.

——Zi Zidan's "The Classic of Pulling"

Master, "Yi Jin Jing" sounds very awesome. I want to learn it.

That is a crude way to bring pleasure to oneself by stimulating the meridians. It is only practiced by monks who cannot afford hemp and cannot catch up with girls.

I seem to be...

But I'm not, so I won't, oh yeah.

——The self-deprecating "The Sutra"

Master, actually, you have never read the Sutra of Ecstasy to your wife, have you?

How do you know?

I heard the mistress asking you to kneel on the washboard yesterday.

...That was a little game between our husband and wife.

Why don’t you read it? , after reading this, wouldn’t Master Niang just listen to you?

How can I believe these pseudo-scientific things? Besides, if she listens to me, what’s the point of us being together?

, but looking at the way you are enjoying yourself so cheaply, you must be happy if you are affectionate. Why are you complaining?

Don’t fight with me, haha. I know Xiaobei came to see me today. What did she say? ?

Don’t ask, what if it’s not a nice thing to say?

——Zi Zidan "The Sutra"

Master, you said that the great abbot knows that I and I What’s the matter with Xiaobei?

What doesn’t the great abbot know?

Then why doesn’t he care? Does he think I’m okay?

Don’t be so pretty, the great abbot just has confidence in his daughter.

——The self-deprecating "The Sutra"

Master, in fact, I should call you Master, right?

It's okay, how can the input method default? Just call it whatever you want, just let it happen.

——Zi Zi Zi "Pu Jing"

This trick is good, use it again.

Forget it, someone did imitate the same action later. After shouting and waiting for applause, the old monk, the judge, was trembling with anger and scolded, "Is this performance art of yours still over? Kick down the door." Forget it if we don’t pay compensation, but we keep using words from the Tao Te Ching to pass off as Buddhist teachings. How can we meet Taoist priests in the future? Get out of here!

Hahaha who is this unlucky guy? .

Our great abbot.

——Zi Liao Zi Dan’s "Tuan Jing"

The meanings of these sutras are indeed the skills to settle down and make a living. You can practice them to the point where you can casually pick up verses and provide guidance on the confusion. The more you point at it, the more confused you become. That’s it. But I'm afraid that your motives are too pure and you are single-mindedly obsessed. In the future, when Xiaobei turns around and walks away, you will be shaken by the water. Don't really get stuck in the scriptures, then it will be difficult for gods and Buddhas to save you.

It’s okay, I’ll just follow Xiaobei when he leaves.

Well, this is hopeless.

——The self-deprecating "The Sutra"

Master, can I not stay in the temple tonight?

Stop pretending, go out and freeze all night I have done bragging to my fellow students when I came back. Let’s be a little more open-minded. Sex is emptiness.

Okay, why are you shouting everywhere?

Master, you are quite embarrassed.

No, it was not written for your wife...

I said you are a little swollen...

—— Self-deprecating "The Sutra"

Chedan, how do you feel about this wandering? Is it fun there?

Master, you actually ask this kind of question, use In your words, there is nothing interesting or not interesting in this mortal world.

Well, the main reason is that your wife wants to make up for the honeymoon.

——Zi Liao Zi Dan’s "The Sutra"

Master, you haven’t taught me the Sutra for a long time.

Aren’t you the most annoyed by listening to the sutras?

I think that if you want to live with Xiaobei in the future, you still have to have a skill. Only by being good can you retain your master's wife and become a Zen master?

This kid, don't say this to others. Come, I will teach you a lesson about being strict. I am familiar with this job.

——Zi La Zi Egg's "The Sutra"

Master, when will you teach me martial arts?

A Buddhist, compassionate, great abbot There is an order:

A small and clean temple like ours cannot imitate Shaolin in shouting and killing.

I will teach you all the sutras and meanings, read them and read them clearly, and be strong in heart.

Seeing those with fancy fists and embroidered legs, their tongues shining like lotuses, destroying them seems like a play.

Master, I understand, knowledge is power.

——Zi Zigui "The Sutra"

Master, I must have been in the temple for a long time. I'm afraid I can't control myself.

Do you still miss her? Hmm.

Then stop controlling yourself and teach you a set of Ecstasy Sutras.

Why don’t you use it?

This sutra is thought once in a lifetime, and I already have your master wife.

Holy crap, then I’ll wait and see if there’s anything more suitable.

Fuck, it’s useless, you’ll all get tired of it.

——Zi La Zi Egg "Pu Jing";