Li Guan's story in Li Guan

I went to Henan one year, ran out of money and couldn't go home, so I had to work as a helper for a rich man named Wang. Soon, the rich man built a new pavilion in the garden and wanted to write a plaque, so he invited Liu, the most famous local scholar, and said, "As long as you write well, there will be a lot of money to do pens." However, the plaque only needs to be engraved with three words, which also contains four meanings: my name is Wang. I used to be a cobbler, but later I became rich, and there was water in front of the pavilion. Please start writing, sir! "These conditions have stumped Liu. After living for a few days, I can't think of it. I can't eat good wine and food, so I have to have the cheek to ask the rich man to invite more scholars and we can discuss it together. So, the rich Wang Man invited five more scholars. These people usually talk about the moon, talk like a book and show off their elegance. But at the moment, when they listen to the rich man's conditions, they are all blindsided, their mouths are muddy, their beards are broken, their hair is scratched, and they scratch their ears and cheeks.

At this moment, Li Guan just came to deliver tea. Seeing the embarrassment of these people, he couldn't help laughing. Rich Wang Man saw that his servant dared to laugh at the literati he invited, and he couldn't help but say angrily, "What are you laughing at?" Can you work it out? Li Guan primly said, "I want to write one. When Wang Man, the rich man, saw that Li Guan was not afraid, he said, "If you can solve this problem, not only will the reward be yours, but you will also take the lead and everyone will take turns toasting; If I can't solve this problem, I will have to work for five years in vain! " Then the conditions were repeated. Li Guan didn't answer, just smiled, then spread out the rice paper, dipped it in thick ink, and wrote the three characters "Jade Woman Pavilion". When everyone saw that he was doing something extraordinary, he secretly cheered. Wang Caizhu said, "Explain it first and see if it suits me. He said unhurriedly, "Your surname is Wang. Adding a little to Wang's character is jade. If you have jade, won't you have money? The word "wave" is a leather word next to the three-point water, suggesting that you are a cobbler and there is water in front of the pavilion. I wonder if it meets your requirements? After listening to the explanation, everyone praised this question as a good question. Rich Wang Man thought he looked down on Li Guan, so he poured him a full glass of wine.

Second, a couplet shocked the magistrate.

In Qing Dynasty, Tongzhou Prefecture governed Hancheng, Heyang, Tongguan, hua county, Huayin, Dali, Baishui, Pucheng, Chengcheng and Chaoyi. After the new magistrate took office, he built a tall magistrate's yamen and wanted to carve one suitable for him at the entrance of the yamen. For this reason, he gathered many famous scholars, but none of the couplets he proposed liked. Knowing this, he issued a placard, which read: As long as you select couplets, you will be rewarded with twelve taels of silver. At this moment, Li Guan just came here. After reading it, he tore down the list. He was sent to see the magistrate. When the county magistrate saw this, he was furious and said, "Where are those unruly people who dare to pull the list of our yamen and give me 20 boards first?" Li Guan quickly said: "Why do you want to go back on your word when you are out of the list?" The county magistrate said, "Talented people must have good looks. You look like a beggar. How can there be any wonderful couplets? " Before he finished, Li Guan smiled and said, "You can't judge a book by its cover. How can you measure the sea? " ! Although Zhang in the Three Kingdoms is not handsome and talented, it is unwise for adults to judge people by their appearances. If I don't like it, I'll be responsible. What should I do if I like it? The magistrate blushed when he saw his elegant speech and graceful manners, and immediately said, "As long as you like it, you will be rewarded in full. If you can write, double the money. After that, I had a pen, ink, paper and inkstone brought to me, and Li Guan did it without thinking. The first part was "Two Crown Rivers", the second part was "Three Cities Against Heyang", and the banner was "Ten Genus of Tongzhi". In this couplet, "Erhua" refers to Huaxian and Huayin, "Guan" refers to Tongguan, "Da" refers to Dali, "Water" refers to Pucheng, Hancheng and Chengcheng, "Chao" refers to Chaoyi and Heyang, and * * * refers to ten counties. When the magistrate saw it, he clapped his hands and said, "This place is really beautiful! Two flowers are in harmony, and three cities are facing Yang! Not only are couplets wonderful, but ink is also an iron painting silver hook. There is only one cross, and all ten counties under the jurisdiction of this government are included. Even the banner of "Tongzhi Ten Genus" is embedded with the same words as the state capital. All right! All right! Wonderful! Wonderful! Excuse me, sir, what's your name? " Li Guan said with a smile, "People are called eighteen in the wild, so I don't want you to give me a ridiculous prize. My family is poor and I do it occasionally. Please accept the money. I dare not expect it. "The magistrate adults had to reward 220 taels of silver.

After Li Guan left, the county magistrate called the assembled literati, reprimanded them and showed them Li Guan's couplets. When one of them said it was Li Guan's handwriting, the judge thought, strangely, he said it was eighteen sons, so why not hire him as an inquisitor? Thought of here, immediately send someone to chase him back. Someone caught up with Li Guan and asked, "Are you Mr. Li Guan? My Lord, please welcome! Li Guan smiled and said, "Why am I Li Guan? Haven't you heard of Li Guan? The messenger said, "I have never heard of it. What kind of person is he? " Li Guan said: "Li Guan and Li Guan have never met each other. They went from one state to another, improvising. I'm a fool who doesn't know his face! , sent back, according to the original words, the magistrate said: "alas, you are idiots! ''

Third, customs clearance

A young man was driving a cart to deliver cotton to Chaoyi. At the bottom of Baoning slope, the cart was heavy and steep, and accidentally killed a dog lying on Fujiazi Road. This dog is usually evil. People say that dogs bite through mud. The dog always barks at the sight of the poor, and often bites the poor children until they bleed to death. But when he saw those rich people and well-dressed people, he kept silent and wagged his tail. So when everyone heard that the bad dog was run over, they were very happy. Who knows this rich man is a famous "iron claw" in Fiona Fang for more than ten miles. He always tries to make money for the poor. If he gets this good opportunity, will he let it go? He stopped the young man's car and said that his dog was a Husai dog specially bought from Beishan by someone, asking for twelve taels of silver. The young man grabbed his foot so hard that he couldn't keep his mouth shut. Where can he afford twelve taels of silver? I don't know how to face a sad face. At this time, someone pointed out to him: "Mr. Li Xiangruo teaches in a nearby village. Why don't you ask him to help you? "

This is really a word to remind dreamers! The young man found Li Guan and explained the reason. Li Guan readily agreed, and smiled and said, "But if you want to be wronged, you have to call me uncle! The young man said cheerfully, "What's so difficult about this?" Li Guan let him go ahead, followed by himself.

Seeing Li Guan coming to the car, the young man shouted, "Uncle!" Li Guan replied, "Hey!" Then he complained to him, "You are not in a hurry. What are you doing here?" The young man said unfairly, "I ran over a man's dog." Li Guan said, "Why? Did you drive the carriage to the door? " The young man quickly defended: "No, no, the car didn't start!" " Li Guan turned to the rich man and said, "Boss, this is your fault! As the saying goes, dogs have ropes and chickens have cages. Why not tie the dog at home and let it wander on the road? " People watching admire Li Guan's point of view. The rich man knew he was wrong, but he was unwilling to say, "Then I will run over a live dog for nothing?" Li Guan smiled and casually recited four sentences: "The slope is steep and cars roar. Since it is a live dog, why not go? " Everyone cheered in unison, and the rich man had nothing to say.

Fourth, make a faint couplet.

A year later, during the Lantern Festival, Li Guan posted two red lanterns to hang in front of the door, and also posted a pair of couplets:

Hang it up and be brave with gan Kun,

Look at the future to add color to the sun and the moon.

Lanterns are well posted and couplets are beautifully written, so people in the village are scrambling to see them. There was a rich man in the village, but when he saw everyone crowded in front of Li Guan's house, he was very angry, so he also squeezed in to find out. When I saw it, it turned out to be a good couplet, so I gave it to Gong and said, "Mr. Li, please write a good couplet for me on the Lantern Festival. What do you think? " Li Guan hated the rich man for buttering up the government and bullying the poor. Seeing that he asked for an alliance, he had a brainwave and said, "Good!" Take out a pen and paper, just a thought, then write down a pair of couplets:

Wax fills the heart and is used to going to the underworld at dusk;

Paper wrapped in skin, when will it clear up!

When they saw it, they all laughed and praised Li Guan for his good writing. Cai Dong knows that he has been scolded, but he wrote this couplet himself, and he must have the cheek to say yes to everyone.

Five, scold the rich man

One year on March 9th, Li Guan passed by a village, and saw a rich man and his son sitting on a bench, warming themselves on the sun slope, watching the long-term workers beat dung and swearing. When Li Guan saw this scene, he pretended to be panting and walked up to the rich man and said, Old man, have you seen my donkey? "The rich man asked strangely," What donkey? Li Guan said: Two donkeys are arguing with a stinking stick! Cai Dong said, "I don't see it, please find it quickly! ,,

When Li Guan left, the rich man's son suddenly understood: "Where have you seen two donkeys with smelly sticks? It's scolding us! It turns out that when preparing donkeys in Guanzhong rural areas, I was afraid that the saddle would slide forward, so I pulled it behind the donkey's ass with a stick. As the saying goes, "smelly stick." The rich man thought about it and suddenly realized. He immediately sent someone to take Li Guan back and put him in the ancestral temple for interrogation. '

Li Guan walked to the door of the ancestral hall, and at a glance he saw the big plaque of "Lee's Ancestral Hall" hanging on it, which reassured him. As soon as he entered the ancestral temple, he knelt in front of the ancestral tablet of the rich man's family and burst into tears. When the rich man asked why, Li Guan said, "My brother painted this. I feel sad when I see it! " Hearing this, the old rich man turned out to be a fellow countryman, so he let Li Guan go.

After Li Guan left, the rich man's son became more and more wrong. He said to his father, "There are dozens of ancestors painted on the ancestral card, but he said it was his brother. Isn't he our ancestor? " The old rich man knew that he had been cheated again, so he sent someone to chase him. Li Guan has run away without a trace!

Sixth, punish the poor.

One year, a new county magistrate came to Heyang. In order to decorate the appearance of corporal Li Xian, he sent two messengers to send invitations to Li Guan.

Heyang County is more than forty miles away from Li Guan's hometown Nanshun Village. It was June, and two policemen were thirsty and tired, covered in dust. At the head of the village, I saw an old man picking up dung. He asked angrily, "Old man, is Li Guan there?" I didn't expect this old man who collects dung to be Li Guan. Mr. Li has always hated these foxy things, and he was even more angry when he saw the messenger's straight eyebrows, but he still said slowly, "I'm Li Guan. What can I do for you?" When the police heard that the old man was Li Guan, he said with a smile on his face, "Mr. Li, me."

My master has a letter for you! Li Guan put the dung cage on his shoulder and said, "The two squad leaders invite you into the house for tea!" ! "At home, I sent someone to take out the county magistrate's invitation. Li Guan took it out, looked at it and said to himself, "Oh, that's it! What does he need this for? The policeman quickly interrupted him and asked, "What does my master want?" Li Guan beckoned: "You two come with me!" He led two policemen to the backyard, pointed to a big stone mill and said, "This is it! Two policemen looked at this thick and heavy stone mill and thought, Oh, my God, it weighs at least 200 kilograms, and it has to be carried to the city, so don't kill people! Then he asked, "What does Master want with this? Is there no mill in the city? " Li Guan spread out his hands, pretending to be helpless and said, "I don't know! Master asked for it by name, dare I not give it to him? "These soft and hard words made people fall into silence, so they had to borrow a rope from Li Guan's house, wrangle and prepare to carry the grinding fan back to a job. Li Guan said, "Don't.

Busy, please give me an answer. You two should be careful on the road. If you break it, neither you nor I will look good. "

The burning sun made the two policemen dizzy, and they were finally carried to the county seat, exhausted and scattered. The magistrate was surprised to see a pair of stone mills being carried back. Panting, the policeman said, "This is what you want. Mr. Li has written back to you! When the magistrate opened Li Guan's letter, it read: "Li was ordered to pour into the village, so he was punished for carrying a fan. When the magistrate saw it, he was furious: "I just told you two losers to offend Mr. Li!" " Take it tomorrow and send it back to Mr. Li!

Seven, mentally frustrated county officials

One year, a new county magistrate came to Heyang. This guy is a rookie, youthful, he heard that a few people in front of Li Guan suffered losses, and he was not convinced, so he set a deadly trap to kill Li Guan down a peg or two. He sent two men to arrest Li Guan. When they came to Nanshun Village, they tasted the hardships of Li Guan and dared not play crooked. They respectfully handed in the arrest warrant and said, "Master Li, my master has something to ask you! When Li Guan saw the arrest warrant, he knew, "The dog officer wants to show me off. Hum, you are blind! He frowned, made up his mind, and calmly replied, "Please report to your adults and tell them that I will be back in a few days this month! The messenger knew that Li Guan was not the kind of person who would follow him as soon as he tied the chain, so he had to go back and say to the county magistrate, "Sir, this Li Guan is full of nonsense. He said he was grounded! This is obviously a snub to his lordship. The county magistrate said savagely, "Don't worry, then let him taste my power!" "Originally, this guy made a wish to a newly caught foreign thief, asking him to be a false witness and set up Li Guan in order to make Li Guan obey him.

A few days later, Li Guan came on a donkey. When the magistrate saw it, he saw Li Guan's face wrapped up, revealing two eyes. It really looks like a woman who just confinement in the countryside! The successor county magistrate went to the court and patted the gavel and said, "Li Xiangruo, a bold and unruly person, why did he gang up to steal?" Why didn't he tell the truth? " Li Guan retorted, "Your Excellency said that I was stealing in collusion. Is there circumstantial evidence? " The county magistrate proudly said, "Of course! Then call the false witness to court. He pretended to ask the false witness, "Did this man order you? "? The false witness quickly said, "Yes. The county magistrate asked Li Guan, "What do you have to say now?" Undaunted, Li Guan sneered at the false witness: "Since you are my man, you must know me? After all, the false witness is guilty. He dared not look up at Li Guan and said hesitantly, "Yes-yes." Li Guan said, "Well, just tell me in front of my master, am I nearsighted or squint? Is it a pockmark or a face? This fooled the false witness, who had never even seen Li Guan's face. Where can he answer? Scared to death, shaking all over. Li Guan said sarcastically, "Sir, if the dog takes a bite, it's three points. I'm going to sue him today for turning black and white and framing good people. Please judge! Hearing this, the county magistrate had to decorate the facade and knock on the gavel: "Where can a gangster dare to frame Mr. Li? It's a dog's day!" Li Guan said with the implication, "Sir, we have a saying in Heyang that the eyes are crooked and the heart is crooked, and there are strange diseases in the stomach. This boy is a squint, with evil intentions, and only wants to harm others. You have to treat this strange disease for him! Hearing this, the county magistrate turned red and white, just like a layer of chicken excrement.

Eight, write a letter of complaint to the dumb.

Once upon a time, there was a man in the El of Heyang County yamen, who put a desk and stool on it. Four Treasures of the Study wrote a complaint for people. One day, a mute came to the writer and told him that someone had hit him. He wanted to report to the county government and asked to write a complaint. The writer wrote a lot of complaints, but this time it was difficult. What's this mute's last name? Which one should I sue? I can't see it at all How should I write this complaint? There are many people watching, but no one can think of any good way.

It happened that Li Guan went to the market and saw a group of people. Why did he ask? When the writer told the reason, Li Guan smiled and said, "What's the difficulty?" Pick up a pen and write four lines on the paper:

The complainant is mute,

I don't know where to sue.

Go find two policemen and dumb people,

Grab wherever you point.

The mute submitted a complaint to the county grandfather. At first glance, this is Li Guan's handwriting, so he dare not neglect it. He sent two policemen to arrest the man who pretended to be dumb and made a case for the dumb.