What book did Miss World read to her son?
Dear little cuckoo:
This year's Children's Day happens to be your centenary.
When I wrote the word "hundred days", I was really shocked by it-a person can be so small, as small as a few days. In the past 100 days, you were like a little magician, making a bunch of candy for your parents every day. Without you, these 65,438+000 days would be plunged into a chaotic torrent of time, just like the 65,438+000 days before it and the 65,438+000 days after it.
Just the other day, my mother was chatting with an aunt. She asked me: Why did you decide to have children? I used a very common and lazy answer: make life more complete. She asked: Isn't this selfish? Use other people's lives to make your life more "complete"? Yes, I think she's right. But I can't think of a selfless reason to have children.
The ancients said: there are three kinds of unfilial, and there is no big after. Is it selfish? Modern people say "I like children". Is it selfish? Biologists say "for the sake of human reproduction", alas, how sacred it sounds, but it just replaces a person's selfishness with that of a species or even a group of genes.
By the way, an old English man named Dawkins wrote a book called Selfish Genes. When you grow up, you must find this book to read. You can also find other books to read My mother hopes you will be a child who loves science in the future. Of course, my mother also hopes that you can find your own way to get rid of nothingness while loving science.
Because giving birth to a child is a selfish thing, on Mother's Day, I only felt uneasy and even embarrassed when I saw the overwhelming slogans such as "Thanks to Mother" and "Great Motherly Love". I have always had an incorrect view: a mother's love for her children is only that she bears the consequences for the choice of having children, and it is not "great".
I was afraid to say this when I was not a mother, but now I can finally say it frankly. Even, I think, it is the children who should be thanked. They make their parents' life "more complete", give them something to trust in emptiness, let them experience the mystery and joy of life, and most importantly, let them enjoy love-that's a kind of freedom, isn't it? Being able to let go of all your guard and love freely is the greatest freedom. As a mother, I thank you for giving me this freedom.
And because having children is a selfish thing, I dare not have any "hope" for your future. Few Chinese words make me more uneasy than "expecting your son to succeed". In fact, these four words simply make me furious: if you can "succeed" yourself, why do you expect your son to succeed? If there is an idiom in Chinese called "I hope my father will succeed" or "I hope my mother will succeed", will parents feel rude?
So, Boog, when you grow up, if you want to be a banker on Wall Street, do it, but if you just want to be a baker, that's fine. If you want to go into politics, your mother will definitely support you for legitimate reasons, but if you just want to be a city zoo, that's fine.
What I hope is that in the process of growing up, you are lucky to find your own dream-not everyone can find a sense of direction in life and just have the ability to match this dream-and not everyone has the ability proportional to the dream.
Yes, I pray that you can "succeed", but I understand that success is that a person has awe and enthusiasm for what he does-in my mother's view, a lawyer who feels that going to work every morning is a burden is no more successful than a barber who proudly says to customers, "Look, this hairstyle is really beautiful."
However, despairing of one's "achievements" does not mean despairing of one's own character. Mom, I hope you didn't come into this world for nothing. You can have the desire and ability to appreciate its glittering beauty and make it better with your own beauty.
Mom believes that human nature is endless blooming, and human dignity is reflected in the endless running of truth, goodness and beauty. Therefore, I hope you are a curious person, ranging from "what's outside the universe" to "where do I leave the toilet shit every day", which can arouse your curiosity; I hope you are a compassionate person, and you have the greatest imagination of the suffering of others, even animals, so you are the most alert to any form of injury; I hope you are a responsible person and realize that the freedom, peace and justice we have are just like the houses and cars we own. They didn't fall from the sky, nor did they happen once and for all. They need to be fought for and cared for by each of us. I hope you have the courage to insist that "the emperor is not wearing anything new" in the face of power, violence, temptation, public opinion and even the warmth of a small circle; I hope you are sensitive, can capture the irreconcilable difference between beauty and ugliness, and can find art in the details of life outside museums and concert halls; As a girl, I also hope you have a dream. Your youth and life are not only defined by love and marriage.
Is this list too long? The expectation of character is also harsh, right? Well, it's not so much that mom wants you to be like that, but that mom wants you to encourage and help each other to be like that.
Once when my mother was chatting with friends, I said I hoped to be "good friends with children" in the future, and my friends laughed at me collectively. They say there is nothing to look forward to, because you can't predict what your children will become when they grow up. A mother who likes reading Tolstoy may give birth to a child who likes reading Knowledge of Weapons, a tea party mother may give birth to a child who believes in productism, a mother who loves classical music may give birth to a child who loves rock and roll, and even a mother who likes everything may give birth to a child who doesn't like anything. And even if his values and hobbies are similar to yours, he would rather communicate with his peers than with you. Therefore, my friends warned me not to dream of being friends with your children one day.
Mom stopped dreaming. I don't expect you to set up a book club with your parents on 15, nor do I expect you to travel to Africa and ask your mother when you are 25 years old. If one day you develop a completely different self from your mother, I hope I can be happy for your independence. If you would rather share your life with a fat girl with acne than your mother, then I will be happy for your popularity. If-that's for sure-we have a fierce argument about "where to go in China" and "what to eat tonight", and if-that's very likely-you are as grumpy as your mother, I also hope you remember to take your mobile phone, keys and wallet when you leave home angry.
You see, Boo-Boo, I've taken the future too seriously. In fact, the obsession with the "future" often hurts people's cherish of the present. When you are pregnant, your mother looks forward to your healthy birth every day. After your healthy birth, her mother is looking forward to your early full moon, 100 days after the full moon, and 100 days after your first birthday? Maybe mom should look back at the present from the future, yes, now.
Now, you have a hundred reasons to hate it. Sometimes I cry because I don't have enough to eat, and sometimes I cry because I am tired of milk. You always wake up in the middle of the night and refuse to sleep. You often have colic. As soon as colic gets better, you start to have a low fever, and the fever just starts to get eczema again. But just when the exhausted mother began to think about whether to sell you to the circus or throw you into the trash can, you leaned against your mother's arms and suddenly smiled stupidly, with your eyes narrowed and little meat piled up. Just this smile is enough to make her feel "exhausted".
It's not just your smile, your mouth is flat like a small fish when you fall asleep, your nose shrugs when you babble, your neck disappears behind layers of chin, and you cry while nursing. You can count, but your mother calls it thick eyelashes. Brought many surprises to my mother.
Mom didn't know that people would look up and make people happy. Having five fingers can also be exciting. Running around telling everyone that it is worthwhile to say the word "Oh" from a person's mouth-but you hold your mother's hand and lead her through the void of existence to rediscover the miracle of life. Now, my mother is stunned by the light of this miracle. My mother only hopes that you can always be patient with her, and that you will never let go of holding her hand, no matter rain or shine, no matter how things change.
Little cuckoo, may you grow up slowly.
May you have good luck, if not, may you learn compassion in misfortune.
May you be loved by many people, if not, may you learn to be tolerant in loneliness.
May you wake up naturally every day of your life.
Buma
20 13.5.22