For the Spring Festival performance, let's design a sketch or something, or cross talk, not on TV, and get high marks.

Opening (a table, uncle sitting on a stool)

Uncle: The world is getting worse and worse. Moral decline, people are distracted, and the team is not easy to bring. Now some male students are a bit obscene, and they want to rush in when they see the girls' dormitory.

(At this moment, a boy wants to sneak in. )

Uncle: (striking the table) Stop! Demo, play dirty with me, you are still young.

Man A: What are you shouting? I've never seen a handsome guy.

Uncle: Just you? Look at the mountains and waters from a distance, grin from a distance, look at the mountains and waters from a distance, and look at freckles from a distance.

Man A: How dare you insult me? Do you know who I am?

Man A: I am a legendary handsome man, well proportioned by the wind, known as "the ground sinks and the water flows backwards", a ghost sees sorrow, a combination of beauty and wisdom, and the embodiment of hero and chivalry. Everyone loves me, and I do everything for my friends and girlfriends.

Uncle: Oh, aren't you the one who didn't deserve to fight when he was a child, but didn't have the money to buy a card to play Tetris online when he grew up?

Man A: Low key, low key.

Uncle: No.

Man a: it doesn't matter if I don't know you. When I come here often, you will know me. Everyone is from Normal University, one of our own, and you are here.

Listen, I'll help you go in and patrol.

Uncle: Please (Fan Wei).

Man A: Don't thank me. This is what we young pioneers should do.

Uncle: Stop! Come back, come back, you almost got in.

Uncle: Are you the only one who wants to blend in? A weak word kuo (the first sound) is on my face. As a freshman, I have the cheek to tell you about the Young Pioneers. Disappear in front of my eyes immediately.

(Action: The man makes a stop action)

Man A: My father works in a factory.

Uncle: Which factory is your father from?

Man A: My father is from the crematorium and my mother is from the funeral home. This is my business card. I can give you a 99% discount if anything happens to your family in the future.

Uncle: Your skin itches.

Man A: I see your face is blue, your pupils are dilated, you have epilepsy in the upper body and a stroke in the lower body. Why don't I book you a seat first?

Uncle: If you don't fight for three days, you'll go to the house and uncover the tiles!

(Two people jump out-soldier A and soldier B)

Uncle: Who is that? Get him.

(Man A is dragged out)

Man A (loudly): 10% off! 50% off buy one get one free!

(Male A disappears, male B goes up, and uncle continues to read the newspaper)

Man B: (singing and going on stage) Everyone says I look like Chow Yun Fat, but in fact I look like Andy Lau.

Man b: I'm bored to death. Being handsome is annoying. If I were a girl, I would marry myself.

Uncle: What's your name again?

Man B: You can call me by my nickname. My nickname is Jay.

Uncle: Jay, what are you doing here? Have you tried?

Man B: Nothing, just looking around.

Uncle: Then why did you turn around here? Do you know where this is?

Man B: Isn't it the girls' dormitory? Girls' dormitory, boys are moving forward.

(Say that finish and step in)

Uncle: The abdomen contracts slightly, and the chest naturally bulges. Shoulders back, neck up ~ ~ ~, feet up, right?

Uncle: If you go any further, you will be fined. 10 yuan, 30, 50 yuan!

Man B: You rob money, my poor boy. You can't treat me like this.

Uncle: (looking up and down) Why can't I see that you are poor?

Man B: I'll sing you a little song and you'll know: Wowotou is in your hand, and there's not a drop of oil in the dish ~ ~ ~ Where I am, traffic basically depends on walking, communication basically depends on shouting, heating basically depends on shaking, and public security basically depends on dogs. Are you poor in my house?

Uncle: My family sells iron pots from time to time. Are you crying with me? Growing up, I don't know how sweet sugar is and how salty salt is. Besides, you are old, why don't you go out and earn money? To steal, to rob, to cheat, to turn, really not, you can sell! Now there are so many college students starting businesses, you can also learn.

Man b: to steal, to rob, to cheat, to cheat, to turn, to sell. How much do you think these trousers are worth?

Uncle: Still selling clothes? These are all leftovers from playing when I was a child. I sold my blood online and donated my kidney to the glory edition. When I sold my dog, I thought you were still in an atomic state.

Man B: I didn't expect anyone to be poorer than me. Well, you can keep this little thing first. I'll buy you a drink later, and we can have a good talk.

Uncle (striking table): Who do you take me for? Don't let me in without paying? What happened to this guy? Open your mouth and close your mouth. Who told you about money, serving the people, and the beauty of adults? ... how much money is in it?

Uncle: Why is this with a face value of 200? Why haven't I seen it before? Male new in 2008. How did you see it? Uncle: This year seems to be 2007, right?

Man B (in a low voice): There is someone in my bank.

Uncle: Oh.

Uncle+Male B: Shh ... (Uncle left, female A left)

Woman A (loudly): Jielunge (Woman A runs to runner B)

Man B: There are three words that have been in my heart for a long time. I have never dared to talk about them, I am afraid I can't even be friends. Today, I finally got up the courage. I want to say to you, "Who are you?" I really don't know you.

Woman A: You accidentally stepped on me in the cafeteria that day. Tell me you're sorry.

Man B: No way. Is it okay? I can't count how many girls I step on every day. Who are you?

Woman A: Then why are you here?

Man B: I'm waiting for someone. Woman A: Then can you promise me something? Man B: Say, I'll try my best.

Woman A: Can you forgive me? I dropped a dollar, and you seem to have been stepping on it. Man B: No wonder I feel something under my feet. (under female A, on female B)

Man B: Xiao Li, is that Xiao Li? Woman B: Easy, I'm coming. ...

Man B (turns to woman B and rushes over with open arms and smiles): You are a frequent visitor in my dream, and you are the protagonist of my life. Without you, my world will stop breathing. Without you, my life will be meaningless. Ah, RMB!

Female B (stares at him severely): Hum! I thought I was thinking about you! You don't know that people think about you every day. (Singing) I love you as a mouse loves rice.

Man B: Don't do these useless things. I'm here to talk business with you. (Pretending to be deep) Have you finished your homework? Lend it to me. Woman b: no. Man b: if you don't borrow it, you're dead!

Woman B: Never borrow it! Male b: cow * female b: why don't you invite me to dinner? Man B: Where to? Woman B: Haagen-Dazs!

Man B: What are you talking about? I don't understand. Canyouseakenglish, Japanese, Albalia, Brubrukaka?

Woman B: I'm not poor with you. I will do my homework by myself. Have you been lazy in your studies recently? Man B: I will always remember your advice, study hard and make progress every day. You said that if I didn't study hard, my face would change color, my head would vibrate, my ears would chord, my body would be straight, and my hands and feet would be used. Woman B: Then how do you explain your English exam? There is nothing wrong with reading comprehension. Did you choose a topic without reading it? Man B: No! Woman B: Dare to quibble! Man B: I flipped a coin without even looking at the topic. Woman B: And your composition. Why does it look so familiar? Man B: Does it look strange? Read and understand the first sentence of each paragraph ... Woman B: I really don't know what you are up to these days. Man B: I miss you every day. Woman B: Men should focus on their studies, and we should all make good use of four years of college. Man B: Why didn't you tell me earlier? ! You are right, it is true that college students are innocent in love, but we should also proceed from reality! For the sake of great ideals and lofty beliefs, you can turn your back on them. what can I say? Ok, I understand you, I support you, and I want to learn from you. You know, you are a role model for our college students! Woman B: So, shall we work together? Man B: OK. Man B: I left quietly, just like I came gently. I waved my sleeve and said, bye-bye is stupid. Of course, they are all students. Is it wrong to use your classmate to play any role in the script? Are all junior high school students. Your whole university ... is still in love ... Xiaoling is sleeping at her desk. Iverson lost a book with him. Get out. Xiao Wu came in and took Xiao Ai's seat. Xiao Ai (entering): Oh, man, this is really confusing. Are you kidding? Don't you see, I've already occupied this seat! Xiao Wu: Ding is Ding and Mao is Mao. Actually, I took it before you! Xiao Ai: I came early in the morning. Why didn't I see you? Wu: I took it last night. Xiao Ai: The last row is my patent! For it, I get up early every day, grab the head and bleed like a river. I can't lose this position! Xiao Wu: The last row is my pride. This place is unique. If you want to get rid of me from here (AI:-Why? ) I advise you to pull it off early! Xiaoling woke up: What was that noise? It's a waste of youth to quarrel in such a sacred classroom early in the morning! Do you know what mistake you made? Huh? Xiao Ai: Yes. Wu: Let's stop arguing. Xiaoling: What you can't forgive is that you woke me up! Iverson sat in front of Xiaoling. Xiao Ai: Last but not least, develop style. Dude, take the exam as I say! Wu: Huh? Today's exam? Xiaoling: Really? My hands are numb today! Xiao Ai: Scared? Xiao Wu: Did you sleep? Xiaoling: None of them are right! I'm tired of playing with grass! Xiao Ai: Hey, I think I spent the middle of the night burning a lamp and boiling oil! Xiao Wu: Oh, have you studied hard? Xiaoling: Do you also play with grass? Xiao Ai: Oh, I'm thinking about the exam strategy! Xiao Wu and Xiaoling leaned over: What do you think? Xiao Ai laughed wildly: I tell you, this is a great move! Xiao Wu and Xiaoling: Come on! Xiao Ai: Copy from the book-(picks up the book) Xiaoling: Go to hell! Wu: Good idea! Why didn't I think of that? Xiaoling: Come on. You call this a trick? Well, to ease the tension, I'll give you a humorous quiz. Xiao Yi and Xiao Wu ignored her. Xiaoling: Say, how many steps are there in the exam answer sheet? Xiao Ai and Xiao Wu leaned in: How many steps are there? Xiaoling: Three steps! Step 1: Write down your name. (Both nod) Step 2: Read the topic again! (Both nod) Step 3:-Hand in the paper! Xiao Ai: Hand in a blank sheet of paper! Wu: What's the problem? Xiaoling: I'll give you another question; Say, who didn't come to the exam today? Xiao Ai: Who can't take the exam today? Xiaoling? Xiaoling: I'm not here! Xiao Ai: Look around, Wu? Xiao Wu: Yes! Xiao Ai: Ah! I see-little moxa! Wu: You came for nothing! It's not the same whether you come or not! Xiaoling: Answer, teacher! Not yet! The teacher came in. Three people are startled: coming? Why did you come without saying anything? Oh, dear! Teacher: What's your name? Did the toad come in? Three people laughed. Teacher: Be serious! What about this exam! No professional ethics at all! What is the most important thing these days? Score! On and off, your lifeblood! (Laughter) Exams are our magic weapon! Xiao Ai: Copy, copy, our unique skill! Teacher: Give out the roll paper quickly! Don't come early after the exam. What time is it now? The exam has started for half an hour! What did you do? Teacher: The exam time is * * * two hours! Don't hand in the papers for more than an hour! Students who want to answer questions, please pick up the pen. Students who don't want to answer questions, please rest in place. Students who want to go to the toilet-please restrain yourself! Xiao Ai: I compare my teacher. He is a mouse looking for a cat as an escort-unreasonable demands! Xiaoling: Exactly! Is he a legendary rapper, or why can't he keep mumbling? Teacher: Be quiet! You are quieter than a tree! Do you know how serious a mistake you have made? Heavier than the salt sea! Three people copy. Teacher: (referring to Xiao Ai) Please don't copy this classmate! Xiao Wu and Xiaoling: I didn't copy it! The teacher came to Xiao Ai: Classmate, stop copying! Xiao Ai: How do you know? I copied it in my desk! Teacher: You dropped the board in front of your desk. I saw it! Xiao Ai: (looking at it) Ouch! Unfortunately, the teacher confiscated Xiao Ai's roll paper, and Xiao Ai just wanted to get up and go. Teacher: Sit down! Go out in an hour! The teacher went to see Xiao Wu, who took the roll paper to the table and copied it. Teacher: Come on, come on, stop pretending! I despise you people who cheat with books most. You have no technical content at all. How did you copy it? Like this? Like this? Wu: Lower it! Lower it! Teacher: (confiscating Xiao Wu's roll paper) You also sit and reflect. Why did you cheat with this book? Xiao Wu: I don't want to take the book either! I can't play grass as well as her (Xiaoling)! Xiaoling stared at Xiao Wu. Teacher: That's right. Remember to mow the grass next time! I like this kind of hard-working child. Teacher: Time is up! Hand in the papers. Put away the roll paper. Teacher: OK. Remember to take the advanced math exam this afternoon! Xiao Ai: Ah! Still taking the advanced math exam in the afternoon? Xiaoling: Ah! ! Take the exam in the afternoon! (Picking up grass) What did you take just now? Wu: Gao ... number? ! What kind of tree is that? Three people: study how to mow the grass! The teacher came in (all teachers can dress up alone). Xiao Ai: Chinese teacher! Teacher: Xiao Ai, how is your composition? (Handing the paper roll to Xiao Ai) Xiao Ai: What's the matter? Teacher: You read it. Xiao Ai: "My teacher", my teacher has a melon face ... Teacher: Wait, (takes out a big sign to write claws) Are you a melon with a melon face? You wrote that my teacher has a claw face! Xiao Ai: Teacher, paw face is also a face. Can't you make do with it? Teacher: Keep reading.