Teaching at school and educating people at home, a child's life depends on three major directions.
Family education is a child's initial school. This kind of education is accompanied by a person's life and has a profound influence on children's character, temper and disposition. Parents' education determines children's character and behavior, and then affects their experiences. It can be said that a child's life is closely related to the family's educational methods.
The best family education is not to give children a luxurious house or buy high-end toys, but to give them these three things.
First, enough company.
When it comes to companionship, many parents will definitely refute:
"Sorry, I can't. I have to support my family, work overtime, travel frequently, go out to work and make a living. I really can't spare time for my children. 」
Whether you can accompany me is a realistic problem, and whether you want to accompany me is a question for your parents. Effective companionship does not require parents to accompany their children for 24 hours, but to accompany their children to grow up, give them more sense of security and pay attention to heart-to-heart communication.
Some time ago, hundreds of notes written by a boy to his father touched the whole circle of friends. The boy's father is the head teacher in high school. He goes out early and comes back late every day, so he has little time to spend with his son. My son has never met his father, but he has too many things to tell his father. As a teacher, the father also knows the importance of himself in the growth of his son. Therefore, the father and son tacitly began to write notes.
Recommended reading: parenting is a kind of practice, and having these three kinds of mothers is a blessing for children! Mother's mood and attitude are the best feng shui in the family.
The little note carries the heartfelt words of the father and son, and also records the growth process of the son.
You see, this father is also very busy, even so busy that one day he may only take a look at his children before going to bed, and he gives little time to accompany them. However, he gave a lot of companionship and security in his mind and soul.
In the process of children's growth, the companionship of parents is the best nutrient. There is no job that you need to stare at 24 hours a day. As long as you like, you can always spare some time for your children.
Second, equal respect.
I saw Where is Dad Going before, which left a deep impression on Huang Lei's scene of educating children.
Someone gave her daughter an extra puppy. Duoduo likes it very much and can't put it down. Belle, the daughter of an artist, also likes this puppy very much, so she asked Uncle Huang Lei if she could play with it for a while. Huang Lei didn't agree directly, but said to Belle, "The dog belongs to Sister Duo. You should ask more. 」
Duoduo agreed, but Belle didn't return it after playing with the dog for a long time, so she ran to ask her father for help.
Huang Lei didn't tell the children what to do, but said, "Toto, you are my sister. You can solve this problem by yourself. 」
This kind of Huang Lei brings respect to children and gives them the right to choose.
He once said, "I have never regarded her as a child. She is a considerate person. She has her secrets, her thoughts and her life. She does not belong to me. We are independent individuals. I won't impose my will on her. We get along like friends. 」
No matter how small a child is, he is also an independent individual, and he also has his own emotions and feelings and thinks about things. And these should be accepted, valued and understood by parents. What parents have to do is:
■ Don't criticize children's performance with the eyes and heights of adults.
■ Don't use adult values to deny children's choices and decisions.
■ Don't use the arrogance of adults to despise what children cherish.
Respecting children's feelings, recognizing children's emotions and respecting children's choices and decisions are the three minimum points to respect children.
Recommended reading: "companionship is never to please children, but to let parents find truth, goodness and beauty again."
Third, the correct demonstration
There is a beautiful idiom called "Lanyuan Yushu" (a metaphor for a promising child). This idiom is about the children of Xie Anjia, a famous Eastern Jin Dynasty star.
The dignitaries in the Eastern Jin Dynasty all admired Xie Jia: "Xie Anjia's children and grandchildren are all charming and talented, just like Yushu in Lan Zhi grew up in the imperial court, generation after generation, which is endless." 」
Someone asked Xie An, "I haven't seen you teach children either. How did they become Yushu in Lan Zhi? 」
Xie An once said a classic sentence: "The best family education is that parents should be the best themselves. 」
The child's state is often a mirror of the adult state. Children are born with the ability to imitate, which will make them subconsciously imitate the actions of people around them. Every child is a copy of his parents, and their words and deeds are imitations of each other. Therefore, every word and deed of parents will affect the growth of children.
Far-sighted parents never educate their children with their mouths, but influence their children with their own practical actions. I hope that children can study, and pick up books first, and I hope that children can develop good habits. They will be strict with themselves first, they will be kind, and they will be ready to help others first.
Behind every excellent child there are better parents. Being a better self is the best education for children. How do you want your children to grow up and what kind of life do you want your children to live in the future, then how to educate and train your children.
Good parents are good at discovering children's talents from the details of family life and guiding them in time. This is the way to realize the education of children. Every parent is the best teacher on the road of children's growth.