The deepest thing
Some things we don’t want to happen, but no one can resist them. Grandpa was diagnosed with terminal cancer. Now recuperating at home. My mother wiped tears behind her back from time to time, but in order not to affect me, she comforted me and said, "As long as grandpa has a good rest, he can get through it." Right? This planted a seed in my heart that has not yet been opened. I also checked online, and there are still some people who insist on exercising, have a reasonable diet, and stay in a happy mood. It can also be eased gradually.
My grandpa went to Beijing for treatment again. This time, my father and uncle accompanied my grandpa to the hospital. About ten days later, my grandpa came back and stayed at my house. Now that I think about it, that was the last time I saw my grandpa. Grandpa's legs were completely stiff. With just one touch, his leg seemed to be torn apart. My mother carefully washed my grandpa's feet, but she still touched the sore spot. Grandpa yelled as if he had been hit hard. For the last time, I helped my grandpa lift up his clothes, but I couldn't touch his legs. Tears welled up in my eyes. My grandpa has been pulling oxen and plowing the fields for half his life, but he suffered from such a disease in his old age when he should have enjoyed happiness. It's really hard.
The Chinese New Year is approaching in a blink of an eye, and the winter in Shuofang is covered with snow. There is ice and cold everywhere, and the branches have been defeated by the cold winter. How many people can survive this harsh winter this year? The younger sister went back to accompany her grandfather. She was the closest to him among us. Because she grew up beside her grandfather. And because my mother is my grandfather’s daughter, it’s “inconvenient” for my uncle to let my sister (mother) go home for the New Year to spend the New Year with my grandfather. Only my uncle and his family spent the New Year with my grandpa. On the night of the Chinese New Year, my grandpa went to his uncle's house for a reunion dinner. He was supposed to have a happy New Year's Eve dinner, but because his sister-in-law couldn't bear to see my grandma feeding her child drinks, she threw the chopsticks away and kicked the stool away. The door closed with a bang. My grandmother tried to persuade her, but my sister-in-law still didn't come out. After all, this meal was "not round". My mother went back on the first day of the new year. The whole family went back. Because of the college entrance examination, I stayed at home to do homework and review. Grandpa was still lying on the hospital bed. He finally wanted to go to the hospital for a check-up, but because his uncle repeatedly refused, he never went to the hospital again, and he could no longer stand up. My grandma can only feed me soup made from rice. These soups can only be made by boiling rice soup, picking out the rice grains, leaving only the soup, and then using a cotton swab to dip it in the mouth for grandpa to eat.
The weather in May is still sunny but not sunny. The college entrance examination is approaching, but my grandpa's illness is getting worse. As the days passed, my grandfather failed to survive and passed away. But I didn't know it at the time. It wasn’t until after the college entrance examination that I learned about my grandfather’s death. On the day my grandpa passed away, my grandpa asked his uncle to give him his bank card. The uncle first excused himself by saying that it was in the hands of my brother's uncle's son and that my brother had not returned from work. When his brother came back, my grandpa asked his uncle for the bank card again. He said that his brother didn't have it. He went home to look for it. Then his uncle took the bank card and threw it to his grandpa. But when my grandfather passed away, my grandmother asked my father to withdraw money for the funeral, but there was not a penny in the card. My uncle lied to my grandfather and an old man who was about to die. Amen.
In my memory, my uncle is a simple person. Our home has been far away from my uncle's home since I was a child. Every time I see my uncle, I feel very happy and can eat the delicious snacks bought by my uncle. . After growing up, my mother also paid special attention to how she got along with her uncle's family. She was afraid that the two families would be unhappy. She always looked friendly on the surface and had little contact with her brothers and sisters, so she became a lot stranger. But I never thought that my uncle would do such a thing. As my grandfather's biological son, I deceived my father who was about to pass away. What kind of conscience did he have? How should such a person, who is completely dazzled by his wealth, treat his grandma in the days to come? Thinking about it this way, I am often too scared to even think about it.
After the college entrance examination, I returned to my grandma’s house to stay with her. I heard from my mother that a few hours before my grandfather passed away, my sister’s uncle’s daughter had a quarrel with my grandmother, and my grandmother choked up as she spoke. After my grandfather passed away, my sister-in-law had a big fight with my grandmother because my grandmother did not comfort my uncle but comforted my younger uncle to raise him with my own hands. My grandma seemed to be numb and crazy, scolding her sister-in-law.
My grandma has never spoken to her sister-in-law since her grandfather passed away, and my sister-in-law has never spoken to my grandma. This is still the case. Grandpa's death. The saddest thing is my grandma, whose memory and eyesight are both failing. I think my grandma will never forgive my sister-in-law again in this life. A year of peace and harmony has never been fulfilled. After my grandpa passed away, my sister-in-law kept attacking my grandma. Grandma’s grandson’s daughter-in-law and sister-in-law took a fancy to grandpa’s family’s property, so they exploited them little by little. I learned this from my mother. I don't know how much hatred there was during this period, but I know that one cannot deceive the dying person without conscience, nor can one trample on him.
On a gray day, my grandmother and I went up the mountain to dig bitter vegetables. The shrubs there grew very tall. On the surface, I was digging the vegetables with my grandma, but in fact, I was just here to protect her. My grandma was telling me the story of how she and my grandfather were digging bitter vegetables. They always come to this bush area with several sacks. Rather than saying that grandpa and grandma came to dig bitter vegetables together, it would be better to say that grandma came to dig bitter vegetables alone. A few hours later, my grandma's hands quickly uprooted the bitter herbs as if they were wound up, and shook the soil on it vigorously. Her figure disappeared very quickly, like a rabbit. After a while, she discovered a huge field of bitter herbs. Grandpa, on the other hand, played with the bitter herbs slowly, fearing that the bitter herbs would be broken by him accidentally. Every time he looked for the bitter herbs, he would always look for them for a long time. Every time he found the bitter herbs, there were only a few. Such a pitiful few. Grandma has already filled several sacks, which look bulging, but grandpa has not even filled half of the sacks. I had to pretend to be "bulging". At this time, grandma will always talk about grandpa. My grandfather would always use his back pain as a shield, and my grandmother was at her wits end. After that, grandpa stopped being sarcastic and ran to the train track to remind grandma if the train was coming, so that grandma could avoid the train. Sometimes my grandpa couldn't see my grandma from the train tracks, so he would always shout. When my grandma heard it, she would also shout back. My grandfather would always take out his dry cigarette, smoke a few puffs, and sit cross-legged next to the track. After digging the bitter herbs, my grandfather would always carry a load of bitter herbs home with great pride. He would always chat with acquaintances he met along the way. A few words, whenever others are envious of digging so many bitter herbs, my grandpa always smiles honestly. After returning home, grandma was responsible for boiling water, while grandpa moved a bench, sat down and began to remove the roots of bitter herbs. When the bitter vegetables are completely edible, my uncle’s family and our family will always receive the bitter vegetables made by my grandpa and grandma. Now, I am like my grandfather, standing on the train track to observe whether there is a train passing by. I seemed to see my grandpa guarding my grandma with me. On the way home with my grandma, I was carrying bitter herbs, just like my grandpa and grandma were walking home with bitter herbs, so beautiful.
Grandpa is wise. One is that before he passed away, he had already made his own tomb. But according to his brother-in-law, the body was not properly placed. When it was placed in the coffin, the preservatives sprinkled on my grandfather's body did not completely protect the body. The brother-in-law said, "The head in my grandfather's body was bleeding. His appearance changed." During the conversation with his brother-in-law, he said, "My grandfather did not go away peacefully. His children actually treated him like that." Yes! If grandpa didn't make his own tomb, I don't know how he would bury him. Would my uncle's family have hastily? I still don’t dare to think about it. The second is that the inheritance left by my grandfather was not left directly to my uncle, but to my grandmother. I think this is very correct. If I leave it to my uncle, my grandmother’s food and clothing will be a problem. I think my grandpa has considered my grandma’s future life. He hopes that my grandma will live well and not suffer anymore.
When I went to my grandfather’s cemetery, I felt sad inside. Along the way, the sky was lowered. It still makes me breathless. The cemetery is surrounded by green grass, and my grandfather’s tomb is built next to it. My grandma asked me to burn some paper for my grandfather. I took the paper and burned it with fire. When the paper was burning in the fire, I seemed to see what my grandfather looked like. He was still the same, still wearing the same black coat, blue trousers, and black leather shoes. But in the blink of an eye, after the paper burned to ashes, that appearance also disappeared. I said in my mouth: "Grandpa, I'm back to see you. Grandpa, let's go!" I had tears streaming down my face, but I still swallowed them alive. I couldn't cry anymore. I looked at my grandma next to me. It seemed that her eyes were no longer as bright as before. I was afraid that my grandma would be infected and cry again.
My grandfather is a native of Shaanxi. His cemetery is a piece of land with excellent Feng Shui. This is what my grandfather learned from a Feng Shui master. He saw a long pole inserted in the cemetery, and the pole was covered with various colors. strips of cloth. The tomb is built with bricks. The center is made up of two sides to form a round-like object. Grandpa slept here forever. Everything seemed dark yet bright.
The trees and mountains in the distance surround this cemetery. I think this place is evergreen, as if grandpa has never left us.