Fortune telling makes blind date _ fortune telling blind date joke
During the epidemic, I watched Blue Planet with my mother at home. She said that all the small animals knew that they were going to fall in love. Why don't you know?
Planning | Xiao Rui Tianyi
Edit | Jintang
When talking about urging marriage at the talk show, Yan Yi, a twin group, said cheerfully, "Urging marriage is like mental diarrhea. I thought it was over, and I stood up and came again. " "Some people get married by themselves and start urging others to get married, which makes me feel that marriage is pyramid schemes and must be developed."
Last week, we launched a collection activity to see what the "horror" of young people who were forced to get married meant. In the feedback received, a researcher named @ Xiaoyu said that he met a father from the countryside. His son is 35 years old and unmarried. He once said to his son, "If you don't get married again, I will be uglier in the village than being a thief!" "
For many parents, their children's unmarried life is eclipsed, which makes them "unable to lift their heads". They want to see their children get married, and their friends and colleagues are pregnant with grandchildren, so they don't understand more and more: why can other people's children get married and have children step by step, while my children are neither old nor single? And those children who face their parents' omnipresent impulse to get married can't understand: why am I still a loser in the eyes of my parents despite my successful career and bright life?
It seems that urging marriage has always been the distress of parents and children. Just a few days ago, a 26-year-old woman in Guizhou committed suicide by jumping into the river after being urged to marry. Behind the news are countless young people who have been cornered by their parents. Their parents' complaints and accusations oppressed their lives like curses.
Contemporary young people are too afraid of "urging marriage", dare not answer the phone, dare not have a home, dare not rent a lover to confuse their parents, and even fear that "the world is not worth it."
Marriage should be a happy thing, but too much urging marriage often leads to rebellious psychology. Family members are originally used to rely on, and the closest people pass the knife of words, which hurts the most.
There are 55 days before the Spring Festival. I hope there will be fewer marriages in the world in the new year.
▲ Figure/"Spring Night" screenshot
Beat about the bush, crazy suggestion
Critical Hit Degree: ★★★★
@ Banana Wolf Male 27 years old was urged for five years.
My mother: "Look at that cloud in the sky. Like your girlfriend? "
@ Hou Nan, 26 years old
As soon as I get home, my parents will broadcast the blind date meeting on time.
@reikunn female, 26 years old, was urged for one year.
It was my mother's birthday, and when I opened the cake, my grandfather passed by, indicating that it would be nice to have one more person at home in the new year ... I said not to lose one. ...
@ Li Paipai female was urged for three years at the age of 27.
My sister and children brought it to my mother, and my mother said she would take me; I bought a box of dates for my family, and my mother said I couldn't finish it until I got married and entertained the guests. I bought paper for my family, and my father said I would keep it for my wedding guests. ...
@ Looking for someone to reveal that a 26-year-old woman was urged for three years.
My father once asked me seriously, "Daughter, do you like men?"
@ 丟丟丟丟 28 years old was urged for five years.
Grandpa once bumped his head into the hospital. When I was waiting outside, someone said to me, "What if you don't find someone to live with?"
@ Daewoo Male was urged for two years at the age of 32.
I went to my classmate's house. He had a pile of books to throw and asked me if I wanted them. I said give it to me. It's a pity to throw it away. I didn't pay attention to two books, namely "Classic of Parenting for New Parents after 80s" and "Required Reading for Perfect Prospective Dad". After taking it home, my mother always said that people should read more books, and it is never too old to learn. I didn't understand what it meant at first, but later I found that the two books were on my desk.
@ Winnie the Pooh Female 3 1 year old
Recently, the temperature dropped, and I told my mother that I wanted to add a blanket when I was cold. She said, "I can't sleep with two people."
@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫 was urged for a year at the age of 25.
Once my father bought an ice cream home. I just want to eat it when I pick it up. My mother grabbed it and said, "My husband bought it for me. If you want to eat, let your boyfriend buy it for you. Oh no, you have no boyfriend. "
@ December 30+ has been urged for countless years.
In previous years, urging marriage was just a verbal greeting. My mother gave me a pair of slippers of size 4 1 yard this year. ...
▲ Figure/"Adult High School" screenshot
Paradox, heresy, cynicism
Criticality: ★★★★☆.
@ 京京京京京 18 years old was urged for one year.
"Other little girls have husbands to help with their homework. You can also find one. It is so expensive to make up classes now. "
@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫 was urged for a year at the age of 26.
When menstruation hurts, her mother says it's good to have a baby.
@ Lonely and brave chivalrous girl on blind date is 27 years old. In recent years, she has been on the road of being urged and has never stopped.
"Widowed people also know how to find a partner. Why don't you want to fall in love at a young age? "
@ Little Lion Girl was urged for seven years at the age of 32.
During the epidemic, I watched Blue Planet with my mother at home. She said that all the small animals knew that they were going to fall in love. Why don't you know?
▲ Figure/"Orange Times" screenshot
@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫 was urged for three years at the age of 26.
"I am old and in poor health. I'll take care of your children, hire a nanny, and the nanny will beat the children. "
@ Little Girl, 26 years old, just started to be impulsive.
My dad said he even thought of my lines at the wedding, but I don't even have a boyfriend now. My mother knitted five baby sweaters. I repeatedly confirmed to her who they were woven for. She said to give them to her granddaughter/son. ...
@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫 was urged for two years.
My dad often gives me a trembling video of a little boy and a little girl holding hands in kindergarten, and then WeChat asks me, do you understand? ...
@ Baby Bear Girl was urged for eight years at the age of 32.
"People who are completely satisfied with you are definitely not satisfied with you, and you must despise people who are completely satisfied with you. It is best to find the kind of hesitation. "
"Finding an object is like going to the toilet. The first one has no paper, the second one has shit, the third one has no paper and shit, and one is not as good as the other. Looking back, there are still people. "
The most ridiculous thing is that parents add all kinds of blind date groups to help find objects, copy all kinds of contact information in the park and make phone calls one by one.
@ 中中中中中中中中中中中中中中中中中中中中中中𰵍𰵍20013
I chatted with my mother and talked about one of our colleagues. Maybe my family urged me to have a fake marriage, because I haven't seen her husband since I got married, and she didn't live with her husband and didn't go home for the New Year. After my mother told my mother, my mother said: fake marriage is better than your marriage. Me: ...
@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫 30-year-old woman was urged for three years.
One day, my father told me that he couldn't sleep. I said, what are you thinking? He said, I miss my son-in-law. Another time, I suddenly said, "Hey, I really want to change my head to your baby's."
(I am still single ...)
@ 中中中中中中中中中中中中中中中中中中中中中中𰵍𰵍20013
This month, my period is 8 days earlier. When talking to my mother, she said, "A person's eggs are limited all his life. In order not to let you work early, you'd better get married and have children early. "
Me:? I am only 25 years old!
▲ The girl took the boy home, and her mother-in-law began to urge marriage. /"Entrepreneurship Times" screenshot
Direct, "personal attack"
Critical Hit Degree: ★★★★★
@ Fox Girl is 29 years old
"You are nothing, except that meat is frost-resistant."
@ jingjingjingjingjingjing31year old
As long as my parents come back from their wedding, I will definitely be called to find various reasons to lecture me. My clothes will be confiscated when they dry, and there is still a hair on the ground. Anyway, I must be lectured. I really didn't like blind dates before, but my parents did, because I didn't meet anyone else and I was going to be kicked out of the house.
@ 京京京京京京京 23 years old was urged for a year.
Grandma is an intellectual of the older generation. I thought she would be more enlightened. As a result, only she urges me to get married at home every day. Every day, she moved a small bench to watch "If You Are the One" before sitting on TV, and told me that I should get married early at a young age, otherwise I wouldn't get married. "You look at those boys and girls who are not as good as you, and they can't get married. Can you still get married? "
▲ Figure/"Love Evolution" screenshot
@ Zhang Weiwei Female 33 years old
"You single donkey."
@ Charlie, 27 years old, was urged for a year.
"If I had known you were like this, I might as well not go to college." (I just graduated from graduate school)
@ jingjing jingjing jingjing jingjing jingjing jingjing jingjing jingjing jingjing jingjing
Go home for two days on National Day. My dad asked me what to do with the dog when I came back. I said that it was an old dog of four or five years old and could stay at home for a day or two. My dad said that dogs are four or five years old. If you have a child, you are already in kindergarten.
@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫 29 years old was urged for two years.
"You don't get married, your father spent decades of money in the unit. By the way, the new house didn't leave you a room. Why not make a floor in the study? "
@ 嗻嗻嗻嗻 29 was urged for two years.
My own mother sent me an interesting video. You don't want to get married, but nobody wants you
@ 丫丫丫丫丫 33 years old was urged for five years.
My dad said that I made him feel ashamed and disappointed and embarrassed to go out.
@ Bug Girl was urged for five years at the age of 30
The year of 30 is too painful. From my mother to my boss, I began to urge marriage, and it was like this for 24 hours. Now it seems that as long as it is male and alive, it is ok. There is a meal, "if you have a boyfriend, you can't finish it"; The door is broken, "if you have a boyfriend, you won't be unable to lock it"; Travel, "if you have a boyfriend, you won't have an extra bed to squeeze in with us"; There is also going home after working overtime in the early morning. "Didn't you go out on a date?" Why do you go home at night? "
@QQ female was urged for two years at the age of 28.
"You are a hot potato and will burn to death in this house."
▲ Figure/"Happiness, at your fingertips" screenshot
Divination, divination and confusing behavior
Criticality: ★★★★★☆.
@ Acheng Female 30 years old
I let go of all kinds of strange peach trees under my pillow, such as Little Zhu Xiang, which will attract peach blossoms soon.
@ Sai Ren female 28 years old
I was taken to a temple in the middle of nowhere by my parents. I can't drive or run.
@Y female 30+ has been urged for n years.
My mother will send two buckets of rootless water to my sister and me, so that we can soak the crystal ball she bought last time, and we can help each other and achieve marriage.
As for why, perhaps the rootless water in my hometown is more useful.
@ Sophia Kao Jiannv was urged for three years at the age of 29.
During the Chinese New Year, my mother suddenly took a small jar for me to hold, which was filled with meat oil.
@ W.T Female 24-year-old sophomore began to be urged.
My mother specially asked the master to calculate my marriage for me. As a result, the master was very friendly and told my mother that the child was married late. Immediate results! Originally, my mother urged me to be the fiercest, so now I will follow my father and say, "If there is no object, solve it quickly." Well, thank you, master! thank you
▲ Figure/"Bride Battle" screenshot
@YY female, 29 years old, has been urged for four years.
Almost 30 years old, all my friends around me are married, and some even have a second child. My parents pushed harder and harder, and they had a few big fights about it. My mother even told my fortune and asked me if I would get married in my life. The fortune teller's affirmative answer reassured my mother. He also told my mother that it is the second half of 2020, and my mother has been planning intensively since June, for fear of missing my Mr. Right. ...
@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫 28 years old was urged for three years.
My father took a photo of going to Tianshan Temple. Everyone asked him why he went in the group. My dad replied, "Go to the first incense and let the girl find someone quickly." When my mother was tidying up my socks, she took one and said to me, "Look, this sock is single, so poor!" "
@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫 30 years old was urged for five years.
There is a good door at home, which leads from the corridor to the living room. As a result, the fortune teller said that my parents just blocked the door and had to go through the kitchen to enter the living room.
@ 京京京京京京 28 years old was urged for two years.
One day at work, my mother suddenly called, because my mother wouldn't call me at work. I thought it was important, so I answered it quickly. After I connected, my mother began to ask: Do you have a male classmate who has something to do at the age of 24? I was stunned. What? My mother keeps asking, you say, have you talked about it? I said no, but my mother didn't believe me and forced me to admit it. I asked her why you suddenly asked, and she said she would tell my fortune. The fortune teller said that there was a good date at that time. I was too stupid to cherish it and missed it. I was so surprised that my jaw was about to fall off. I said that my experience is not as good as that of a fortune teller. Then he said, let me buy two Red Balloons and a red four-piece suit to attract peach blossoms. I really exploded at that time, saying that you wouldn't ask the fortune teller when I could get married. My mother said it would be available by the end of this year.
Now it's the end of the year, I can tell my mother that you can't tell fortune!
▲ Figure/"Who said I can't get married" screenshot
Worry too much, out of place.
Critical Hit Degree: ★★★★★★★
@ Ni Daojie female 3 1 year-old was urged for five years.
Grandma's family: All four children in my life are women, and all three sisters are married and have children. Except me, my grandmother has been very anxious. Last time I went back to my grandmother's house, she mysteriously asked me to introduce my boyfriend, saying it was particularly suitable. "It is especially good to spend 50 yuan a month, especially with you!" Let me ask again, it's my cousin from my hometown.
Let's not talk about anything else. Most importantly, grandma, my relationship with my cousin hasn't come out yet.
@ 両両両両両両両両両両両両両両両両𰵁両両両両𰵁両𰵁2000
Arrange a blind date at least once a week. I met a blind date who took his girlfriend on a blind date. ...
@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫 32 years old
In the case that the two sides have never met, we were tested first, and the whole process was doomed to solve the marriage incident this time. But, in the end, I wasn't with anyone else.
▲ Ode to Joy 2 Figure/screenshot
@33 female, 27 years old, has been urged for seven years.
A boy chased me, and I clearly said I didn't like it, but my mother liked it very much. Then my mother let the boy go for a walk behind my back.
@ Pea Girl was urged for two years at the age of 27.
My mother wants to quit her job and go home as a matchmaker.
@ Pang Hu Male 32 years old was urged for three years.
Once asked me on a blind date and asked me how I felt about girls. I said no problem. As a result, my parents directly asked me to bring gifts to the girl's house to meet her parents, but we have only known each other for two weeks. I don't even know what girls like ...
@Stonie, a 20-year-old female, was not urged to get married, but was urged to find a boyfriend.
My mother can be called the "sea king" in the mother-in-law world. She is a primary school teacher. As long as there are boys one or two years older than me in her colleague's family, she always says to those aunts, "Leave your brother to us girls." So that every time we meet on holiday, every aunt enthusiastically says, "Are you going home?"
▲ In Ode to Joy 2, Guan Guan's mother helped Guan Guan arrange a blind date. Figure/"Ode to Joy 2" screenshot
@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫丫 23 years old
I graduated in July this year and was urged to invite someone directly to my home, without knowing it beforehand. Fortunately, I went out to play with my friends that day and never came home.
@ 京京京京 26 was urged for three years.
Just today, let me spend 1988 yuan to register as a diamond member on the military wedding platform.
@ Sunflower girl with long sun was urged for more than a year at the age of 27.
One day, my mother told me mysteriously and excitedly that they saw the blind date of returnees on TV. My father wrote down the phone number in his notebook and planned to let my mother talk to someone first, and then let me take over. Later, my dad called and asked, and he learned that he had to pay 10 thousand yuan first, so he went away.
Force by death, "create heaven and earth"
Criticality: ★★★★★★ ★ (devastating blow)
@ salted fish man was urged for six years at the age of 30.
My mother said she didn't want to live. She wanted to kill herself.
▲ In TV series, Kelly's mother is often angry with her daughter because she is not married. Figure/"Let's get married" screenshot
@ 中中中中 30 broke up for two years and was urged for two years.
Once early in the morning, my mother sent me a WeChat, first sending a colorful cartoon picture of a snake (I belong to a snake), and then sending a voice saying, "Little Flower Snake has found a companion, Little Flower Snake has found a companion, Little Flower Snake has found a companion ..." I was scared to death by repeating it several times. I quickly called my dad to ask what was going on. My father replied, "Come and see, your mother seems to be insane." But there was no anxiety in her words, just forcing her to hand in her homework. I understand now that my mother gave me the idea of pretending to be mentally ill and forced me to get married, but the couple didn't negotiate. My father crustily skin of head completed the task given by my mother and cooperated with her to perform.
@ Feifei girl just turned 30 and has been urged for five years.
Father said, "I don't know if I can drink your wedding banquet before I die." Anyway, I am old, and I don't know how many years I can live. "Funny thing: I ended my blind date with a man before eleven and decided not to continue my development. My family heard that it was because I didn't go home and went out to play, but I was still cold and not active. I have to refund my plane ticket and go home to continue my blind date with him ... (PS: my father is almost seventy)
@ Li Nan, 24 years old, was urged for two years.
Drink washing powder and foam.
@ Roaring King Yuanbao, 36 years old, has been urged for ten years.
Count every single (or single) male friend of mine, carefully stare at every photo in my circle of friends, and ask each opposite sex one by one ... Please ask all circles to wish me to get married quickly, collect candy that people like, and then force me to eat it, euphemistically called: happiness.
@ 丫丫丫丫丫丫丫 32 years old
My mother couldn't sleep in the middle of the night and cried when she remembered that I wasn't married.
▲ Figure/"Let's get married" screenshot
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