20 10 latest joke
2。 There is a penguin, doing nothing, plucking and playing. He said, it's cold.
Sequel: There is a polar bear with nothing to do. He tugged at his hair to play. He said that penguins are right.
3。 There is a chairman of a hide-and-seek club in the school, but he hasn't found it yet.
4。 One day, Xiaoming was walking on the road. I suddenly feel sore when I walk! Why is this happening? Because Xiaoming stepped on a lemon.
5。 Two bananas walk together. The banana in front suddenly felt very hot and began to undress, so the banana in the back stepped on the banana skin and fell down.
7。 Once upon a time, there was a lovely little boy who asked you to pinch him and died the next day.
8。 On a hot afternoon, a matchstick scratched and scratched and then burned himself to death.
12. The diver's movements are difficult. He turns three times, then somersaults three and a half times, and then somersaults for a month.
13。 There are two tomatoes walking, a car flies by, one is squashed ... the other says, dig haha! Tomato sauce!
(1) On the bus today, a man and a woman collided because of the crowd. . .
The fashionable girl turned around and said, "Are you sick?"
The man felt puzzled and replied, "Do you have any medicine?"
The people in the car snickered!
The woman felt very angry and replied, "Are you mentally ill?"
The man said coldly, "Can it be cured?"
The whole car is hilarious!
The bus driver stopped to lie on the steering wheel and laugh!
(2) Once upon a time, a person fished and caught a squid.
Squid begged him: let me go, don't bake me to eat.
The man said, well, let me ask you a few questions.
Squid is very happy to say: you take the exam!
Then the man roasted the squid. ..
A pair of corn fell in love, so they decided to get married. On the wedding day, corn couldn't find a wife.
This corn asks the popcorn next to it: Have you seen our corn?
Popcorn: Honey, I'm wearing a wedding dress.
One day, Xiaomei and her boyfriend went out for a drive.
The car is running out of gas. Go and refuel.
Suddenly a gust of wind blew away her boyfriend's hat.
Xiaomei's boyfriend said to her, "I'll get my hat and you help me refuel."
As soon as her boyfriend ran away, she heard Xiaomei shouting behind her, "Come on! Come on! "
There is a penguin whose home is far from the polar bear's home.
If you walk, it will take 20 years to get there
One day, the penguin was bored at home and wanted to play with the polar bear.
So he went out, but he found that he forgot to lock the door on the way.
It's been 10 years, and the door is still locked.
So the penguin went home and locked the door.
After locking the door, the penguin set out to find the polar bear again.
It took him 40 years to reach the polar bear's home.
Then the penguin knocked on the door and said, "polar bear, polar bear, penguin is coming to play with you!" " "
As a result, the polar bear opened the door and said to him, "Let's go to your house to play."
(5) The rabbit jumps into the bakery,
Q: "Boss, do you have a hundred steamed buns?"
Boss: "Sorry, not that much."
"I see." The little white rabbit left in frustration.
The next day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery.
"Boss, are there a hundred buns?"
Boss; "Sorry, there is still no"
"I see." The little white rabbit left in frustration again.
On the third day, the little white rabbit skipped to the bakery.
"Boss, are there a hundred buns?"
The boss said happily, "Yes, there are a hundred steamed buns today!" "
The little white rabbit took out the money: "Great, I want two!" "
(6) Teacher: "How to reduce white pollution?"
Classmate: "Make the lunch box blue."
A blind beggar was begging in the street wearing sunglasses.
A drunk came up and felt sorry for him, so he threw him a hundred dollars.
After a walk, the drunk turned around and saw that the blind man was distinguishing the authenticity of a hundred-dollar bill.
The drunk came over and took the money back. "You fucking don't want to live, how dare you lie to me!" "
The blind beggar looked aggrieved and said, "Brother, I'm here to find my friend. He was blind and went to the toilet, while I was dumb. "
"Oh, I see." So the drunk dropped the money and staggered away again.
(8) Two dung beetles discuss the welfare lottery.
A said: If I win the lottery, I will buy all the toilets within 50 miles of Fiona Fang and eat enough every day!
B said: you are too vulgar! If I win the lottery, I will pack a living person and eat fresh food every day!
Be careful, that's how the wife plays tricks on her husband.
The company sent me to Hangzhou on business. Just after I checked into the hotel, I received a phone call from my wife: "Husband, it's not good. Today, several thieves mixed into our community and our home was visited. "
I jumped up and asked, "Did you lose something? Is there an alarm? "
"The house was turned upside down, and the 1000 yuan in the closet was gone. I lost something else. " "I'm packing. The police came to see it this afternoon." My wife recognized my anxiety and quickly comforted me: "fortunately, those thieves have been caught by the police." Now let everyone report the stolen list as soon as possible. "
I breathed a sigh of relief and quickly told my wife: "Go and see the wedding photo hanging on the bedside. There is a red envelope stuck with double-sided tape behind the photo frame. " Wife put the phone down. Two minutes later, he asked, "I took down the photo frame and looked at it." Nothing. " To find such an unpredictable place. It seems that what we met today is no ordinary thief. I quickly asked my wife to go to the bathroom again: "There is a crack on the side of the toilet tank against the wall and a plastic bag is stuffed. See if there is. " Ten minutes later, my wife called: "No way, did you remember the wrong place?"
I said anxiously, "Impossible. I checked before my business trip. A total of 4000 yuan, all even hundred-dollar bills. That was deducted from the technological innovation award sent to me by the company last year. " "That's it? Have you forgotten anything? " My wife asked on the phone. "No, only this 6000 yuan. You must explain the characteristics of the money to the police. " I reminded my wife. A few seconds later, I heard my wife sneer: "All right. Thank you for your excellent performance in this family burglar drill. This 6,000 yuan in your vault will be carefully calculated when you come back. " I fainted after listening to it. ....................................................................................................................................................
(10) 4. I went to physical education class in junior high school and got sick that day. After I asked everyone to line up, I wanted to give the note of leave to the PE teacher, but it turned into a note of ten cents. Before I knew it, I said, "I'm asking for leave."
After that, everyone burst into laughter. Some people said "taking bribes", "too corrupt" and "not enough"
The teacher is also very happy. In a week, I became the topic. . .
= = These are all found online .. I believe you have read them all ... but you still want to choose me O(∩_∩)O~