100 humorous chat topics
Why not be the first?
I am the happiest person with you!
2. May I ask you the way?
Get there?
Into your heart.
I have a toothache recently.
Why?
Because I often miss you at night, I feel so sweet that I have cavities.
Can I borrow a dollar from you?
Why?
I want to call my mother and tell her that I just met the girl of my dreams. You can also say: I want to call your mother and thank her.
5. Is your father a thief?
number
Then how can he steal the bright stars and put them in your eyes?
6. Your legs must be very tired, right?
Why?
Because you've been running around in my head all day.
7. Look at her clothes label. When she said what you were doing,
Answer: Just to see if you are made in heaven?
8. I hope you know CPR.
Why?
Because you are so beautiful, I stopped breathing.
9. Miss, please give it back to me!
What!
My heart, you took it away with your eyes!
10. There must be something wrong with my eyes.
Why?
I can't take my eyes off you.
1 1. I had a terrible day.
then what
Seeing a beautiful girl smile will make me feel better. Can you smile for me?
12. If I can rearrange English letters, I will put U and I together.
Why?
Because I want you to be with me.
13. Why do you always look at me?
Sorry, I'm an artist. Staring at beautiful women is my job.
Nobody will like me.
Hello, my name is nobody.
15. It rained heavily today.
Yes! Yes!
That's because God is drooling over you.
16. Speak up if you like someone.
Come out!
17. I think you must be busy now, so I decided to send this short message.
Not busy. Why do you say that?
Because I want to send the first three words of the last one.
18. I want to sleep!
Hmm.
Will you still like me after waking up?
I don't like it anymore.
Then I won't sleep.
19. What would you do if someone chased me?
I'm going to trip him!
20. Why did you touch my hand?
I just want to know if the shower gel you often use is good.
2 1. I fell in love with a woman.
She must be beautiful!
You are too narcissistic.
I believe that I will appear at your dinner table sooner or later.
W: Do you want to deliver food?
23. M: In front of you, I am always wrong.
W: Actually, it doesn't have to be like this. I thought I was always right in front of you!
24. Woman: Honey, look at me, I'm so beautiful!
Man: Honey, I think you are too narcissistic!
Woman: Hide under the bed, Nima!
25. Woman: Are you there?
Man: I'm everywhere!
26. Female: Dizzy
Man: Come on, faint in my arms, come on baby!
27. Female: Hehe; What's your name?
Man: I didn't scream, and you didn't flirt with me?
28.w: I asked your name.
M: Oh yeah ~ My compound surname is Nangong, and my name is Friends Circle, or South Friends Circle for short!
29. W: You took advantage of me again.
Man: You are not a vegetable in the market. Why should I take advantage of you?
30. Woman: Hehe, you are so humorous!
Man: Everyone says so!
3 1. Female: You are so modest.
Man: Wrong! I'm not hypocritical!
32. Woman: You are so narcissistic!
Man: Wrong! I have confidence!
33. W: I'm impressed.
M: I weigh 60 kilos. Can you take it in?
34.w: how old are you?
M: I can't describe it It's huge!
35.w: how old are you?
Man: What's two plus two, four plus forty-six, sixteen plus eight minus four?
Female: Twenty.
M: The answer is correct, but unfortunately there is no prize.
36. M: How old are you?
Woman: I'm eighteen.
Man: eighteen is great!
W: Why?
M: They all say 188 1 flower!
W: So what?
Man: I dare choose you. How about you?
Woman: I am a rose with thorns. Aren't you scared?
M: I can't type the word pa.
37.w: where are you from?
Man: Zhongyuan.
W: Well, where is the Central Plains?
M: Shame, I live in the four seas and have no fixed place!
38. W: Really?
Man: With your wisdom, can I coax you?
39. Q: Can Little Dragon Girl not see Yang Guo for seven years?
I'll never see Yang Guo.
40. Q: Describe your driving level in four words.
A: The traffic police are speechless.
4 1. Q: Someone told you that I eat more salt than you! ! Explain what?
A: The mouth is heavy.
42. Q: What's the biggest feeling after watching the beast video?
A: The mobile phone is too bad.
43. Q: A man stepped on your foot on the bus and told you that I was Jay Chou. What's your reaction?
A: Stand back. You can show off later, I stepped on Jay Chou!
Q: Are you a playboy?
A: In the past, everyone asked me with exclamation marks.
45. Q: When I went on a blind date, the woman opposite me grinned and a thick piece of powder fell off her face. What should I do? ……
A: It's very kind of you to send food at the first meeting.
46. Q: If you were fascinated by reading in the library and the opposite sex touched you with its feet three times, would you?
A: Step on the gas.
47. Q: Both couples are on QQ, but neither of them has spoken 10 minutes. What does this mean?
The boss is nearby.
48. Q: I will give you 1200 yuan. What car should I buy?
Answer: buy a set of chess. There are four cars! And four BMWs.
49. Q: Pets that have been kept for 10 years and lovers that have been in contact for 1 week must give up 1. What do you choose?
A: Give up your pet and give it to your lover.
50. Q: What is the coolest car for getting married?
A: Bugatti drove the car, aston martin filmed it, led zeppelin DS8 escorted it, and the bride and groom rode the donkey.
5 1. Q: When your lover/husband suddenly hugs you from a deep sleep and says I like you, do you like me? '
Answer: Don't wake him, and ask softly: What's my name? ……
52. Q: Say 1 plant flowers to see who has a tacit understanding with me ~ ~
A: 1 plant flowers
53. Q: A man and a woman stayed all night and did nothing! do you believe that？
A: I believe. All wet, not dry.
54. Q: When dating, the woman said to you: You don't have a house or a car to kiss? What's your answer?
A: Love is coming.
55. I have been chasing you for five years. Will you marry me?
I can't. You must be ugly.
How should I spend it? I am too poor.
56.w: What are you going to give my parents for the first time?
M: Sure, a big gift!
Woman: Wow! Then what gift did you give?
Male: Grandson or granddaughter.
Q: There are no cars in Yang Guo. Why is the little dragon girl still tired of him?
A: Who said there was no car? He's been carving cards!
58. Q: In the afternoon 10, a lesbian incident message said,' My husband is not here'. How should I reply? ! ! ?
A: I'll be right there. ...
59. Q: If someone asks, can I chase you? What's a better answer?
Why are you chasing me? I'm not emergency syrup. . .
60. Q: You are alone on a desert island, and your cell phone has no signal, so suddenly you can make a phone call. Who did you call first?
A: China Mobile, complain about them! The signal is so bad!
6 1. q: to be honest, if you are a man, would you like to have a bunch of women like * * *?
I wish I were a woman with a lot of * * * *
Q: I'll give you 1 100 million to jump from the second floor. Would you like to cut it?
A: Please pile 1 100 million downstairs first, and I'll jump up at once.
Q: After breaking up, one party said: I will never walk into other people in my heart again. Can you believe it?
A: Not in my heart, but in my body.
64. Q: What do you think is the most desirable quality in you?
A: Wrong is wrong.
Q: In the evening, I was taking a bath. Suddenly found that I have an extra hand to help you bathe! You .
Steal off your watch and ring.
Q: What do you mean by white sheets, white quilts, white pillows and white slippers?
Answer: Dr. Bai wants you to be white.
67. Q: Boys send more than 100 messages to girls every day, but there are few phone calls. What does that mean?
A: He ordered a monthly package.
68. Q: My brother pulled his pants-hit two American political celebrities!
A: Oh! Mom and dad. Larry.
69. Q: If someone looks at your photo and says it's ugly. . . . .
A: It's better than saying' What a lovely monkey'.
70. There are so many people who despise me. Who are you?
When a beautiful woman despises you as a rogue, rogue, treacherous and dishonest ~)
7 1. I won't say if I kill you. You haven't played the honey trap yet!
Brothers, are there any beautiful women who ask you difficult questions? Good for girlfriends, for flirting. )
72. Not only am I lucky, but my beriberi is also good!
(Hehe, you can laugh if you are lucky)
73. Push me again and I'll play dead for you!
Beautiful women can use it when they ask you stupid questions over and over again.
Q: What's the best weapon you've ever had?
A: TT (invisibly killing 100 million people)
75. Q: Describe your appearance in four words!
A: You're welcome.
Q: You only have 2 yuan in your pocket. How can we solve three meals?
Answer: buy a broken bowl and squat on the street.
Q: A corpse was actually dug up in the garden where I bought the house. What should I do? Do you want to call the police
Answer: Keep digging. There are soldiers and horses below.
78. Q: Tell me the cruelest way to abuse yourself?
A: A person eats KFC family buckets.
79. Q: I'll give you 1W go to the gate of the community and shout three times: Sister Furong, I love you. What are you doing?
A: You can shout, but don't do it.
80. I can't reach it Try stepping on my right foot with my left foot.
(Fight short rival in love, joke that girls are petite, suit yourself ~)
8 1. Some people are alive and she is dead. Some people are alive, and he should have died!
(Angry can also be humorous ~)
82. You said ... Do you like me? Actually ... first of all ... actually, I also ... I told you, actually, I like myself.
(Is it difficult to confess ~ Is it difficult to be ambiguous ~ It is not difficult to know what to say. Success is an art)
83. Castle Peak is still there, but it is a little red.
(Hungry, that, thinking of a word, is it heartless ~)
84. Do you drink water, water or water? You choose!
Are you a collector, a collector or a collector? You choose! )
85. I not only have a car, but also my own!
I don't like gold diggers. )
86. Generally speaking, the husband is thin, either his wife is too eager or his wife is too stingy. I hope I am thin because of the first item.
Usually I am so thin, but you like buying food for us so much. Honey, why do you think we are thin? )
87. As long as a person looks good, no matter what he does, everyone thinks that the baby is reasonable and normal. You see, I was streaking and no one saw me ~
Actually, we are so handsome that no one saw us streaking. . . )
88. Let me test your IQ first. How much is one plus one?
He answered me at once. The child reacts quickly. His answer was to spit in my face. !
You see how smart our relatives' children are, but fortunately they didn't spill urine on my face ~)
89. Oriental Pearl: Shanghai's penis looks gorgeous, but ... why are the testicles one above and the other below? Deformity?
(use with caution. . . )
90. Is there a P for handsome? Probably eaten by a pawn!
Did any woman tell you' that man is so handsome' and' that star is so handsome'? A word choked her to death)
9 1. Give it to me, and you don't have to worry. There is nothing wrong!
(Hehe ~ Did your girlfriend ask you to buy something? Did I ask you for help? So, is it better to help her do it well? )
92. Relax, I'm not a good person ... (Is it difficult to strike up a conversation? Trust me, yes! )
93. As long as you lay an egg all your life, we will step on it immediately and never let the principal and parents know! (Bedside flirting joke)
94. Don't thank me. Thank you and dare to charge you money!
(When you help MM or do something that makes her grateful ~ Hehe, pinch her, be careful with powder boxing)
95. You also eat fried food. Look at the pimples on your face! I can almost connect gobang!
(Hey, man, that's a depressing smell ~)
96. The exterior is youthful and bright, but the inside is shabby.
We are the same kind of people, shiny in appearance and broken in heart. . . )
97. Do you know I can doodle? I often doodle at night' I doodle when no one is around: Registration: 139. ...
(。 . . So please tell me the number, our graffiti technology is first-class ~)
98.M: I don't understand. Why can't I appreciate beautiful women when you can see handsome men?
W: I appreciate that handsome guys are called beautiful, but you are satisfying your nasty thoughts.
99. Be careful, I said, pulling her.
She looked at me and asked doubtfully, what's the matter? Why did you pull me?
There is an ant, don't knock you down.
(Everyone is holding hands ~)
100. female: men can't get used to it, and the more they get used to it, the more asshole they become!
Man: women can't spoil, the more they spoil, the more they have balls!