2022. 1.6 Huang Li gave birth to a baby.
I am determined not to have a second child! When my mother-in-law gave birth to her daughter in the hospital, she began to talk about the second child, saying that I didn't give birth to a son, making her laugh! My mother has repeatedly stressed to me that it is good to have a second child, and children will take care of each other in the future! I insist. Don't! The reason is simple! ! 1, my daughter was brought up by myself, and I have been in poor health. Every time she gets sick, I get sick again. I have had the experience of having a high fever, going to the clinic for intravenous drip, showing my child a tablet computer and coaxing my child. It's really a collapse! 2, my husband, my parents are the oldest in the family, they are all old and have been tossed around by various kinds. My parents think everything should be the boss, my brothers and sisters think everything should be my brother, and my only daughter doesn't exist. I don't want my daughter to face this in the future!
My wife and I never regret having a second child. Our family is still two sons.
When I was an old man, I had no experience and spent a lot of time in anxiety. Spent a lot of money and did a lot of useless work. Raised the boss to five years old in the blink of an eye. I felt that I had never been here when he was growing up, so I looked at him carefully.
With the second child, because of the experience, many things are not anxious, and you can savor the fun of raising children, which is equivalent to playing back the happy time of supporting the elderly in slow motion.
The boss is also very happy, because someone can play with him and the pressure of studying is much less. When they are together, they can tear down their home.
As for the cost of raising children, of course, raising two children is more expensive than raising one, but I don't think it will be much more expensive than raising one, because with experience, you can save a lot of useless expenses, and at the same time, many things of your boss can continue to be used. Once you have a second child, your psychology of spending money will change a lot. If you only have one child, you will want to give him the best in the world, and you will spend more money invisibly. Once you have two children, you will spend money more wisely. Isn't there a saying that the boss keeps it according to the book and the second is a pig? In fact, this sentence is still half. When you give birth to a second child, not only will the second child be a pig, but the boss will also be automatically demoted to a pig.
It would be nice to have two treasures if conditions permit. If the conditions are not so good, there will be no leader when you are born, and it is better not to be born. It is not easy to raise a child now. Not only does it cost a lot of money, but it also requires more effort. So be sure to think clearly before you are born. In your situation, I dare not have two treasures, so I'd better concentrate on cultivating Dabao.
My wife and I don't want to have a second child. My child is over eight years old. If we wanted a second child, we would have already had it. It's nice to have a child experience the feeling of being a parent, so forget it. A few years ago, my family advised me to stop talking now. As long as you make up your mind, make your own decisions in your own life, say what others like, say a few words when you are happy, and just find an excuse to leave if you don't want to hear it. A few years ago, my family urged me badly, and my husband told his in-laws that he was sick. They said they would have a second child after being cured, and then stopped for a long time. Later, there was nothing they could do. Anyway, it's good to play Tai Chi with them in the meantime.
1, I don't want it. I'm just a child. I don't want it. I'm afraid I've wronged my child and reduced my quality of life.
Now the family planning policy has changed, and the second child is fully opened, but the fertility rate has dropped. It seems that many people choose the same as me.
3. Having children is different from other choices. Be responsible when you are born, you can't regret it, you must think carefully.
4. Different cities, different family economic conditions, different old people make different choices.
5. Many people around me have chosen to have a second child. As a result, everyone now has different degrees of regret. A family with two only children is simply too busy.
6, ordinary families, four parents, two children, two middle-aged people, simply can not take care of both. Whoever has everything is a big deal.
In the past, it was basically impossible to raise children to prevent old age. There are very few people who are not old at 30. To tell the truth, in the future, when we are old and our pensions are not enough, what can we ask our children to chew?
8. Calculate the cost of raising a baby again. Now we have a child, whose monthly expenses are more than 10000, and there is no mortgage.
9. Nowadays, giving birth to a child pays more and pays less. The promising ones are not around, and the worthless ones are old. When we get old, we still have to look at the deposits in the bank.
10, giving birth to a second child is easy to say, but the threshold is quite high, and it is to contribute to society.
1 1. When the children are older, they need to study remedial classes, have independent living space and have company. My parents are still weak and sick, and I am tired to think about it.
12, some people say that two children are companions, yes! When I was a child, I was a companion. When I grow up, I think about my parents' money.
13, people only have 30,000 days in this life, so why are you so tired? Nowadays, a child is generous in eating, playing and tutoring after class. I also have time to rest and take care of my parents.
14, a second child can be born, but it must be rich enough. Reach the level of taking a babysitter, taking private lessons, not going to work, and several sets of first-tier cities, and you can give birth.
In 20 13, my family Dabao began to attend kindergarten middle class. According to my life plan, I should arrange a second child plan.
Tell my husband that my husband doesn't agree, and his concerns are mainly in several aspects:
1, the economic pressure is too great. At that time, the income was unstable, and sometimes I couldn't live for a few days. My husband earns money by himself, and my mother and I spend money, so life is stretched.
2. I finally hope that my child will go to kindergarten. Occasionally, I can help build bricks and load cars. If I want to have a second child, I must stay at home once I get pregnant.
3. At that time, it was only discussed that the second child policy was about to be released, and relevant policies had not yet been formulated. I'm afraid that I will face considerable social support after giving birth to the second child, which is even worse for us.
However, my determination to have a second child, my life plan, and the growth of my age, I don't want to be an elderly woman, which is irresponsible for my children and myself.
After careful consideration, I naturally decided to have a second child!
Having a second child is to keep a companion for older children in the future. When we are old, sick or in disaster, at least Dabao has someone to discuss. It is conceivable that one child bears the pressure of two old people. Having a second child can at least relieve Dabao's pressure.
This was my consideration at that time, and now it seems that the idea at that time was correct. If you have the idea of having a second child, it is still recommended to make a decision early. After all, the older you get, the greater the risk of childbirth. Not good for children and adults!
Strongly support the birth of a second child! I am 40 years old. I have a son and a daughter. Son 10 years old, daughter 4 years old. I have never regretted having a second child. In addition, I come from a second-child family and have a sister who is 4 years younger than me. When people reach middle age, they encounter some family changes, which makes me feel that it is better to have two children!
I was born in a small mountain village in Jingmen, Hubei Province. Both parents are farmers, and they have been short of food and clothing since childhood. My parents were busy with farm work and didn't have much time to take care of our sister, so as long as I can remember, I took my sister to play and took care of her to eat, dress and sleep.
We have a good relationship. She is my minion, and I always protect her. Although there are occasional quarrels and fights, we were really each other's best playmates in our childhood together.
Because of each other, we never feel lonely, and we are not worried that some only children will be locked at home by their parents alone. And because of my sister, as a boss, I learned responsibility and responsibility, and I learned to care and take care of it.
My mother is illiterate and my father has a junior high school education. They gave up my sister and me hard. I was admitted to Zhongnan University of Economics and Law, and my sister was admitted to Huazhong University of Science and Technology. After graduation, they all worked, bought houses, got married and had children in Wuhan. It can be said that parents, based on their education level, can do nothing about our study and can't help at all. But we can read all the way, thanks to mutual influence and help.
When my sister was admitted to the university, she was very worried about filling in the volunteers. I gave her an idea: "You are good at mathematics and physics, so take the exam of South China University of Technology!" "
I was heartbroken in college, and she encouraged me: "Sister, he doesn't deserve you, and you deserve better."
In the first year of graduation, my mother had a lumbar spondylolisthesis operation. The next year, she suddenly had pericardial effusion. In the third year, she got fibroids. She had three operations. At that time, I was not married and my sister was still in college. I was in charge of taking my mother to a hospital in Wuhan and seeing tongji hospital. She and her father helped with nursing in the hospital. Our family spent that difficult time together.
This year, my father found myelodysplastic syndrome again. In April, the first chemotherapy treatment in tongji hospital cost 6.5438+0.2 million yuan. Now I am doing the second chemotherapy in the provincial hospital of traditional Chinese medicine, and the estimated cost is tens of thousands, followed by the third chemotherapy and subsequent blood transfusion, which is not low every month. Blood transfusion is a self-funded project, with one unit of red blood cell 240 yuan and one unit of platelet 1500 yuan. During Tongji treatment, my father was hospitalized for 28 days and transfused blood for 7 times, and the cost of blood transfusion alone reached 10500 yuan.
If all these expenses are borne by me, it must be too much. Fortunately, I have a sister, and we agreed to split my father's medical expenses equally.
My father lives in his hometown, and every time he comes to see a doctor, someone has to go back and pick him up. I can drive, and I almost go. My father's hospital is close to my sister's house, so she goes through all kinds of formalities, deals with doctors, delivers meals to her father and runs errands temporarily.
I am confused about whether to give my father chemotherapy or not, and it is difficult to make a decision. There was a sister who discussed and analyzed together and soon had an opinion.
In a word, I thank my parents for giving birth to a sister. It was their wise decision that gave me a relative to share when they were sick and hospitalized, and the pressure was reduced by half.
We can also help each other in our daily life and work. I was short of money to buy a house, and she supported me with 654.38 million yuan. She bought a car and I lent her 70 thousand. I have a baby who cooks for me. She gave birth to a baby and I ran to take care of her. We support and take care of each other.
We thought it was good to have a younger brother and sister, so even with a mortgage on our back, we gave birth to a second child without hesitation.
The cost of having a second child. So, is the cost of having a second child really as high as some people say?
See how you were born and raised.
First of all, speaking of life. My sister and I gave birth to a second child, one in Nan Hospital and the other in Provincial Women and Children. We all have jobs, maternity insurance, and all of them are caesarean sections. After the reimbursement of the baby's medical insurance, my expenses are about 4,000 yuan (living in an ordinary double room), and she is about 8,000 yuan (staying in an independent suite for 688 nights). It can be seen that giving birth to a child doesn't cost much, and it is a one-time thing.
Then talk about raising. We all have maternity leave, about 4 months. I extended it for six months for personal reasons. There is maternity insurance during the period of taking care of the baby at home, and the salary is not reduced, so although it will cost more than before, it does not cause great pressure on the family. And during this period, I can earn some other income through part-time job online, such as writing articles and managing money. My second child was breast-fed and weaned at the age of one, so milk powder didn't cost much. Save diapers, January 1000 is enough. Clothes are old clothes given by others. I hardly bought clothes before I was three years old. The only big expense is that after I work, I hired a live-in nanny at home to watch the baby do housework, which costs 5500 yuan a month.
When I went to kindergarten in Bauer, I didn't need a live-in nanny. I just need to hire an aunt or an hourly worker in the day shift, cook at night and pick up Bauer. Dabao sent him to boarding junior high school. In public kindergartens, day-shift aunts don't have to eat and live at home, and the tuition and nanny fees add up, which is not much different from the previous live-in nanny.
My sister's family has the help of the elderly, so this part of the expenses will be saved by asking my aunt to stay at home, and the elderly can help her make up some living expenses.
Finally, talk about education investment. My sister and I are very willing to invest in children's education, which is estimated to cost 20 thousand to 30 thousand a year. In education, it is really necessary for each family to combine their own economic conditions.
If you can't afford an offline training course of 20,000 to 30,000 yuan a year, you can choose to go to work online. If it really doesn't work, you can teach it yourself. Even the worst school education is not bad. If there is no serious educational anxiety, the average child will not learn badly. Dabao has participated in many training courses in recent years, but his grades have not improved much, which gives me the feeling that he is not as good as him.
To sum up, if the family's economic environment is not very bad and the family has financial resources, it is better to have a second child.
1, which is beneficial to the growth of two children. Nowadays, children, especially those in the city, seldom get together to play. A child eating at home is inevitably lonely or even boring. Two babies, growing up together, playing and studying together, taking care of each other and caring for each other, are definitely a kind of spiritual warmth for them, which is a wonderful growth experience that parents can't give.
2. It is conducive to coping with family changes in the future. Whether the children encounter difficulties, their parents get sick, or support the elderly in the future, two babies have advantages over one baby. Based on blood relationship, they will support each other and help each other. In the face of parents' illness or support problems, they can share it, which is less stressful than the only child.
As human beings, having children and prolonging life are our basic needs. It is not excluded that some people pursue the greatest realization of personal value, don't get married and have children, or consider their own economic conditions and don't want to live too tired, just have one. These are practical choices and beyond reproach.
However, if there are conditions and willingness, individuals still strongly recommend having a second child!
According to your present situation, I suggest not. Because if you want, either your parents will suffer, or you will suffer.
My mother-in-law urged us to have a second child on the eleventh day. When she saw that my husband's sister was pregnant with a second child, she began to urge us.
In fact, our situation is not too bad. Now all I have to do is pay the mortgage, and then I have to take care of the children myself.
But because I brought up the children myself, I understand how tired it is to bring up the children and how much energy and money it takes.
Another child, as the old people say, can still be taken, but I think it will be mistreated to the child, and I dare not even play a bowl of water for fear of wronged the child.
My mother-in-law is similar to yours. She likes nagging and listening to the wind and rain.
In fact, she has no bad feelings, but as you said, her emotional intelligence is quite low.
When my husband and I just got married, she told me that the old lady across the street said she wanted to introduce the girl next door to her son. If I hadn't passed her, she might have married my husband.
I still laughed at my husband after I got this. I robbed you for a long time, so you can't marry the girl next door.
If I had another one, I would probably bring it myself. So I still suffered myself.
After thinking about it, I still don't give birth. I can't give my children a good living environment and balance the relationship between the two treasures.
I really don't want to have a baby, and my mother-in-law likes to nag, or I will push it to my husband, or I will contact less.
In the concept of the elderly, it should still mean how happy you are to have more children. They are not wrong, and they can't be blamed, because their understanding of raising children is to feed and raise children.
Different ideas, no need to force, distance produces beauty, just like I am now.
First of all, you should understand that having a second child is a right for you and your husband, not an obligation. Whether you are born or not is up to you. What does it have to do with outsiders?
Not having children is a person's minimum accomplishment. As you can see, you and your husband are both rational.
Giving birth to a child is responsible for the child's life, so in my opinion, giving birth to a child must meet these conditions:
First, there must be will and desire.
Children born with blessings and expectations won at the starting line from the beginning. Because he (she) is loved. It is said that the child has already had the perception ability in the fetal period, and the mother's emotions will be passed on to the fetus and stored in the child's subconscious. Therefore, the mother must have a happy and welcome attitude, not a reluctance.
Second, parents must be mature and rational.
Seeing that some young parents only care about their children, even if they finish the task, they will throw their children to the elderly. The young couple will not give up and are unwilling to fulfill their responsibilities as parents. There are also some young people who have low emotional intelligence, are emotional and impulsive, and have no patience when their children are naughty. Or couples have conflicts and quarrels every day. These will seriously affect children's physical and mental growth.
Third, parents should have a certain economic foundation.
It is an indisputable fact that raising a child requires a lot of energy and financial resources. "Children can be fed when they are born" has long been an old almanac among many elderly people. Of course, it's not that the poor have no reproductive freedom, but if your children only have food and never starve to death, when they are with other ordinary children, they always feel ashamed and excessively inferior because of the big gap in life. What are his chances of "rising in adversity"?
Fourth, we must have legal awareness.
This feeling comes from an event I saw yesterday. Two days ago, someone proudly exposed her four babies and was bombarded by netizens, questioning her parenting ability. So she wrote a long article, denouncing those who "can't eat grapes and say they are sour." I was in no mood to watch the war, but what she said later shocked me, to the effect that the country is aging seriously now, and she is making contributions to the country by doing so. God, you like children. That's right. Whether you are punished or not, you should try to keep a low profile. It's really not the thunder to flaunt yourself like this, only the thunder.
Back to the topic, again, it's up to you to decide whether to have a second child or not. Be yourself and don't be morally kidnapped by others.