Spring Festival Gala 2008-Unlock the lines of the sketch, and people of insight will be grateful if they are anxious.
Lin: Happy New Year, friends! Happy spring festival! Happy Spring Festival. Since we had the security door, we have been busy unlocking people, opening the main house and the Westinghouse, and unlocking people. Yeah! (rings the doorbell)
Huang: Coming! Coming! .....
Lin: Big Brother.
Huang: Hey.
Lin: Unlock?
Huang: Unlock it.
Lin: Hey, didn't you open this lock?
Huang: I'll open that box.
Lin: This lock! Huang: Yes, yes ... Yes.
Lin: No problem! Huang: Yes!
L: Please show me your ID card, real estate license, household registration book and other valid documents.
Huang: Ah ~ ha, hehe. I have all these documents. They are all locked in this box. Well, you help me open the box and I'll show you my certificate.
Lin: If you show me your papers, I'll help you open the box.
Huang: I can't show you my certificate unless you help me open the box.
Lin: I can't open the box for you unless you show me your identification.
Huang: You help me open the box first, and then I'll show you my certificate!
Lin: Show me your identification first, and then I'll open the box for you!
Huang: I'll show you my certificate first, and then you can help me open the box!
Lin: I'll help you open the box first, and then show me your papers!
Huang: That's right!
Lin: Hmm! (Bend over to unlock)
Lin: yay ... the program is a bit messy, a bit messy. You must show your identification, and I will open the box for you.
Huang: No, why are you so stubborn? What about you? .....
Lin: Big Brother, this is the rule. If you were not the owner of this house, wouldn't I be in trouble?
Huang: Hey, why am I not the owner of this house? Huh? Look at the picture, look, look, this is me, right?
Li: Yes.
Huang: This is my wife, isn't it?
L: not necessarily.
Huang: No. .....
Huang: Can I take pictures like this? Can we be so close?
Lin: Oh, big brother, it doesn't mean anything. Nowadays, technology is improving day by day. Your head is mended for me and my ass is mended for you online. Bill Gates can kiss Yang Guifei and Qin Shihuang can hug Britney Spears.
Huang: OK ... You can't help me unlock the lock. I can't let you not trust me. Please sit down.
Thank you.
Huang: I'll find you a certificate (holding the phone).
Huang: I came with a diaper (Lin stands up to look at Huang)? Sit down ... (dial the phone).
Huang: Hello? Property, by the way, this is room 1 10, ah! I have something to do, thank you. Come on up, will you ... thank you. Gee, I quite understand. It's normal for you to be a little skeptical. You've been breaking into houses all day.
Lin: Well, we are professionals.
Huang: Yes, you are professionals, but non-professionals are all in!
Lin: Not Big Brother. We have records in the public security bureau.
Huang: It is absolutely necessary to put it on record. To tell you the truth, your little appearance is a bit illegal. Ah, ah ... Oh, this little eye is for you. Is this your year of birth? Huh?
Lin: Brother, I'm not a mouse.
Huang: Impossible! It's written all over my face These are mouse eyes, mouse eyes!
Lin: No ... Big Brother Huang: I'm just kidding you. In fact, you are also responsible for our owners!
Lin: No, to be exact, I am responsible for the owner of this house.
Huang: I'm the host. You'll find out in a moment. (Gong takes the stage)
Gong: hi ~! Dear audience friends, Happy New Year! Happy New Year! Ouch! It is said that the service of our property management company is very poor. The hosts are always quarrelling with each other. I think they are different. Everyone greets me, but I say hello more and get scolded less. Hey! (rings the doorbell)
Huang: Hey! Coming! Start (a disease) .....
Gong: Hello!
Yellow! Hi! (Gong wears a shoe cover) Ouch! Too civilized. I used to take off my shoes when I entered the door, but now I have to wear a condom when I enter the door.
Gong: ah ~! This is for the sake of your master, so you won't get dirty when you put on the shoe cover.
Huang: Look at him. You can't get wet, but he can't get dirty. One protects his feet, and the other protects the gears. No, that's ... different grades. Let me introduce you. This is a property management company.
Gong: Hello! Lin: Yes!
Huang: That's from the lock company. Lin: Yes!
Huang: Two levels! The problem is, I want to surprise my wife, but what about the money! It's locked in a box. But I want him to open the box. He may have a little distrust of me, proving that I am the owner of this house.
Gong: No problem. Huang: Listen!
Gong: Please show me your ID card, real estate license, household registration book and other valid documents. (Nodding)
Huang: No, that, that certificate is available. (Gong nods) Aren't they all locked in the box?
Gong: Didn't he unlock the lock? Huang: It's a lock!
Gong: It's simple! Huang: It's very simple!
Gong: Please open the box and it's over.
Lin: What you said is too simple. How can I prescribe it to him unless you prove it to him?
Gong: If you don't prescribe it for him, how can I prove it to him?
Huang: No, it's not that complicated. It's simple. It is you who prove that I am who I am, and it is over!
Gong: No way! We have a system. I can't prove that you are you without identification!
Huang: Then I am myself. I don't understand?
Gong: You know it yourself. Why do you need me to prove it?
Huang: Don't you know me? Gong: I don't know!
Huang: You don't know me. You greet me every day. Hey, hey. (Gong apologizes)
Gong: We are in the real estate business. We should say hello to everyone. This is polite, hi ~!
Gong: Hello! Lin: Yes! Gong: Hello! Lin: Yes! Gong: Hello! Lin: Yes!
Huang: OK, OK ... Come, come, look at this photo. Is this me?
Gong: Yes. Huang: This is my wife, isn't it? Gong: Not necessarily. Huang: No. .......
Huang: Can't my wife take pictures like this? Can't couples live together?
Gong: ouch ~! Nowadays, couples don't necessarily live together, and those who live together are not necessarily lovers.
Huang: What do you mean? What do you mean? this is ......
(Several people quarrel)
Lin: What he means is that the relationship between husband and wife is like the relationship between keys and locks. Gong: That's right.
Lin: It used to be a key with a lock. Gong: original yellow: original yellow ~!
Lin: Now it is a lock with several keys. Gong: Mismatch.
Huang: Who is the random match? (Fall into a quarrel again)
Lin: He certainly doesn't know you. Do you know him?
Huang: Property.
Lin: What's his last name?
Huang: Last name is Hi.
What's your name?
Huang: I owe you a greeting.
Gong: Hey! Why can't you talk like a gentleman? Huang: Why can't I talk? (They quarreled again)
Huang: If I don't say hello, what's your name? Gong: (pulls out a handkerchief) I owe you a house.
Gong: Here is my certificate. Modesty, Bian Que's Ping, I owe Ping.
Huang: If you don't take out your certificate, who knows you need a beating!
Gong: Take a good look. Huang: This small body is really going to be flattened (holding a certificate in front of the forest).
Can I drive with my driver's license? Huang: You can open it. Gong: You can start.
Gong: Stop! You can't open your box with my certificate ~! In case he is not the master of this family, I will become an accomplice.
Lin: Isn't this a gang? Gong: Yes!
Huang: What are you talking about? What are you talking about? Who do you think I am? You think I'm a bad person, don't you? I tell you, I have never done anything bad since I was a child. I respect my parents, I am kind to my children, and I love my wife. I have never had an affair in these years. I have not been wronged. What about me?
Gong: ouch ~! This good comrade, this is just your privacy. Lin: It doesn't prove anything. Gong: That's right.
Huang: I'll prove it to you. I'll prove it to you right away (dial the phone). Hello, dear, where is it? Oh, where is the beauty? Hurry home, there are things at home. The sooner the better. Ok, here it is.
Huang: Please sit down. My wife will be right back. He has the key. What would you say if he opened the box? Let you see if my house is my house, if the box is my box, if I am me, if my wife is my wife. (Dong takes the stage)
Dong: Husband ~! Oops ~! Women are often beautiful when they are free, and their husbands must be like followers. After 20 years, it's still sticky. I can't leave for a while ~! Annoying ~!
(Dong enters the door)
Dong: Hurry, hurry, hurry, what's the hurry? Huang: Oh dear! Honey, you're back. Something happened at home. Listen, am I me?
He said: Yes. Huang: Is this my wife? He said: Not necessarily.
Dong: ah ~! Huang: Stand here and let everyone say, do the couple dare to hold hands like this? Don't couples dare to hug like this? I dare to do something more intimate. Can you believe it? Believe it or not? I won't be cheated by you. I tell you, a middle-aged couple can have nightmares for several nights with one kiss! Dong: What are you talking about? Huang: Honey, that's not what I meant. Honey, please open the box quickly.
Dong: Oh dear! Why did you open the box? Huang: Just drive when I tell you to! Dong: Hey! Why are you so busy (rummaging through your bag for the key)?
Dong: Oh dear! Huang: What's wrong? Dong: I lost my key!
Huang: Ah, ah ... How did you lose your key? You may lose money, things or people. How did you lose your key?
Dong: As for it? Isn't there an unlocking company downstairs? Huang: I thought they wouldn't open it!
Dong: Is he a fool if he doesn't make money? Huang: He is more stupid than a fool.
Dong: Looking for a property management company. Huang: The property is more stupid than him.
Dong: Oh, you can look for it together! Huang: Aren't these two idiots standing here?
(Both bow to Dong) Hi! Yeah!
Gong: I'm from a property management company. Lin: I'm from the lock company.
Dong: well, if you prove it, you will be finished if you unlock the lock ~!
Gong: No problem. He said: Please show me your ID card, real estate license, household registration book and other valid documents.
Dong: Hey ... Huang: That's enough. I think this is intentional. I don't need you to unlock the lock, and I don't need your proof. Is it not just a lock? They say skyshatter is a hammer. I will drive it myself today. If there is a document in the box, I will show it to you! (takes out the certificate from the box)
Huang: I grew up here with all my certificates! Birth certificate, student ID card, graduation certificate, work permit, marriage certificate, one-child certificate, sterilization certificate, family planning certificate, grain and oil certificate, getting rich certificate, oil purchase certificate, coal purchase certificate, family planning certificate, bicycle license, tricycle license, motorcycle license, automobile driver's license, laid-off unemployment certificate, job training certificate, free medical service certificate, medical insurance certificate, real estate license, share certificate and ID card. How can there be so many certificates in my life? I don't believe that so many documents can't prove my identity.
Lin: Brother, I can unlock the lock for you. Gong: I can prove my identity for you.
Huang: It's very late. You know that car hit the wall and turned. When the stock goes up, you know you bought it; You repent when you know that you made a mistake and were sentenced; Have a big snot in your mouth. Do you want to throw it away?
Gong: Huh? Huang: You thought it was yogurt, you!
Gong: No, no, no, sir, don't be angry. Am I mainly thinking about your master?
Huang: Then why don't you think of me? Gong: Don't say that. We live in the same block.
Dong: Why don't you prove it to us in the community? Gong: ouch ~! We are a family ~!
Huang: What family? Family. You don't know me?
Gong: I have always regarded you as our parents.
Dong: What about our parents? You're still mad at us. Huang: What do you think makes your mother angry?
He said: Such a child is unfilial. Huang: Don't argue with them. Think about where you left your keys. A lock brings so much trouble. I lost a bunch of keys. Our home ... Wait, what are we doing? What are you doing? Have you seen a property management company? I want to open the door. He wants to prove that he opened our door without our permission. Dong: That's right.
Lin: Brother, you have lost your key. This lock is unsafe. I changed the lock cylinder and key for you.
Gong: Sir, we had a little misunderstanding just now, and now we want to wish you happiness.
Dong: Thank you, thank you.
Huang: A key opens a lock, a lock core is changed, and a heart lock is opened.
Dong: the key ~!
Huang: I have to give it to the top leader!
end