What happened to those people in Zhihu who fell in love for a long time but broke up? Don't know each other very well
It seems that time will solve all problems. Two people have been together for so long that there is no unacceptable problem long ago.
That was not the case. Some problems can be run in, but some problems will only snowball because of time.
Because of some problems, the other party will not quarrel with you, which does not mean that the other party has accepted it, but that the other party has given up on you on this issue. And this part of giving up is probably the reason for your future breakup. Just like some boys have no ambition, they just muddle along every day. The girl may argue with him at first, or try to urge him to study and improve himself after a while, but if the boy doesn't change all the time, the girl will be too lazy to talk about it, but at this time, she already knows that this person just doesn't make progress, and he can't count on it if they want to live a better life in the future.
For example, when some girls start to get emotional, her boyfriend always quarrels with her, but she is more headstrong and stops talking. This is not a good thing, because at this time, her boyfriend has understood that there is no way to reason with this person.
Giving up like this is planting a time bomb, waiting for the fuse to detonate.
You don't know how hard it is to lose it.
Long-term relationships are the easiest to paralyze, because both people will feel that it is good now, and we just need to keep it like this.
But they don't realize that maintaining the original feelings is also a matter that requires you to make a lot of efforts.
For example, the change of roles, some people just can't adapt to the change of roles as they grow up, and still maintain their past feelings, but in fact, different roles need different emphasis.
Some men may be good colleagues, good friends and even good boyfriends, but they are not good husbands and fathers.
After marriage, everyone's role will change. The tasks to be undertaken at different stages may be that he is quite responsible for you in love, which is good, but it is not enough to be a husband or a father.
Just like Zhiming in the series "Chun Jiao Ming Ji", from a normal point of view, he is still a qualified and even a good boyfriend.
However, in an earthquake, unlike a breadwinner, he will be scared to avoid the other half and spend a lot of money on impractical items instead of saving money to buy a house.
A husband's sense of responsibility is not only to take care of his wife, but also to support his family, and even to handle the relationship between parents and children.
If a man is old enough to talk about marriage, but he has no plans for the future, and his savings are zero, and he lives a life of drinking today and getting drunk tomorrow, then I advise you to think about it carefully and see if it is appropriate to be with him. So they won't realize that a long-term relationship is not so easy until they grow up and separate them. It is not easy for two people to maintain. It turns out that it takes so much effort for two people to keep going.
Later, they realized that long-term relationships need to be planned in advance, and many long-term relationships did not break up for other reasons, just because of some helpless objective reasons.
For example, the most common thing is different places, or the future development paths of two people are different.
A couple who could have been walking all the time suddenly found out that you want to go abroad and I want to go home. You want to start a business, and I want to enter the system. This disagreement came too suddenly. If you don't have a plan before, it is easy to be interrupted.
In fact, if you have a long-term relationship, there are many things you need to prepare, such as the problems you may face in a different place and the problems your parents may support or oppose. ......
In the long run, this kind of problem may be forgotten when you get along, but once it appears, it will make you have a terrible headache. Long-term relationships involve many levels and problems. If you can't meet these problems in advance, you will only feel sorry and unwilling when these problems suddenly appear. Long-term relationship is both heavy and fragile. You may have experienced a lot, but you may also break up and say goodbye because of one thing or a long-standing problem.
No one wants to see this day happen. So, in a long-term relationship, please think more about everything. Don't wait until the problem becomes irreversible, and don't wait until the key difficulty comes.