Joke Three Kingdoms (138): Who are the four best softies among the men of the Three Kingdoms?

The Three Kingdoms should be an era of worshiping martial arts. Putting aside the warriors who are good at fighting, even the literati who have no strength to restrain a chicken seem to have a proud character in their genes. Of course, this is generally the trend, but there are always exceptions. In this article, we might as well list the four most representative softies in the Three Kingdoms era and take a look at their "weak" life experiences.

Qin Yilu: The softie who was cuckolded by Cao Cao

Qin Yilu may not be well-known in the Three Kingdoms. However, once he had a dispute with Cao Cao, the attention seemed to come. Of course, for the introduction of this gentleman, we have to bring in some erotic past events. Qin Yilu was originally Lu Bu's subordinate. When Cao Cao besieged the city of Xiapi, and after the city was defeated, his wife was so beautiful that there was this record in "Three Kingdoms": "When the city fell, Cao Cao saw her and accepted her. ". Of course, it is not honorable to seize someone's beloved wife, so Cao Cao did not make things difficult for his ex in his new love's bed, but he also arranged a good job in the army.

My wife was unspoken by the new leader, but our Comrade Qin Yilu acted as if nothing had happened. Whenever he had free time, he would always go to the square to feed the pigeons. Finally, Zhang Fei couldn't stand it anymore (of course Liu Bei was following Cao Cao to make ends meet). "Wei's Spring and Autumn Annals" records this: "(Zhang Fei) once said to Yi Lu, if a man takes your wife and grows her, it will be Chi Chi! If she is evil, will you let me go?" In other words, Zhang Fei denounced him bitterly. He gave Qin Yilu a pause and shouted, Cao Cao has cuckolded you, but you still have the nerve to stay here and shamelessly ask for support.

Qin Yilu became anxious after being drunk by Zhang Fei. However, he was not anxious with Cao Cao, but with Zhang Fei. Finally, when one of them disagreed, Zhang Fei swung his eight-foot-long spear and said seriously: "You are a useless thing, what's the use of keeping you?" Then he stabbed the horse with the spear ("Flying to Kill It" in "Wei's Spring and Autumn Annals"). 》). However, our softie did not put on the shoes of his love rival Cao Cao, but was killed by Zhang Fei who roared when he saw injustice on the road. Such an ending in life is really ridiculous.

Cao Shuang: A coward labeled as a "rich second generation"

If life can be NG, we have reason to believe that Emperor Wei Ming, Cao Rui, will never hand over the heavy responsibility of Tuo Gu. Give Cao Shuang such a fool. In fact, Cao Shuang cannot be completely blamed for the issue of IQ. His biological father, Cao Zhen, was originally Cao Cao's adopted son. Although he inherited glory and wealth, he naturally could not inherit the excellent genes that the Cao family was proud of. Of course, as for Cao Shuang's final life position, we have to start with the Gao Pingling incident.

Back then, Cao Shuang accompanied the young emperor Cao Fang to the Gaoping Mausoleum to pay homage to Emperor Wei Ming. The journey was full of scenery, but unexpectedly, Sima Yi, who had been dormant in the capital for a long time, decided to launch a coup in the city and entered Yongning. The palace reported to Empress Dowager Guo, who had always been at odds with Cao Shuang, saying that Cao Shuang's family had corrupted the country and abused power for personal gain, and should be dismissed and investigated. Although Sima Yi held troops in Kyoto, the political situation at that time was not clear. If Cao Shuang led the emperor to move to Xuchang and called on the country's troops to fight back in the name of the emperor, there was still suspense about who would win.

The sophisticated Sima Yi predicted the situation and decided to send lobbyist Jiang Jixing to Cao Shuang's garrison at night to do ideological work. After meeting each other, Jiang Jidao said: "Brother Ah Shuang, your mother asked you to go home for dinner." Cao Shuang asked in shock: "Do I still have a home to go back to?" Jiang Ji comforted him: "Brother Shuang, please don't cry. The Tutor has ordered me to go back this time. I will only be dismissed from my post, but my previous treatment will not be reduced at all. If you don't believe it, Luoshui "As an oath" ("Only dismissed from office, swear by Luoshui" "Three Kingdoms")

In fact, oaths are the most untrustworthy things. People who have been in love probably know that, but Our Cao Shuang probably never had a good relationship when he was young. Anyway, he believed it, took Jiang Ji's hand, and said with a smile through his tears: "It seems that I, the rich second generation, have to continue doing it." ""Wei's Spring and Autumn Annals"). Of course, what awaits Cao Shuang is the annihilation of the three clans.

Han Fu: A cowardly senior official who was frightened by the idiot Yuan Shao

Han Fu was originally the censor Zhongcheng of the Eastern Han Dynasty. This position is roughly equivalent to the modern deputy of the Supreme Procuratorate. The dean, later Dong Zhuo came to power and was transferred to Jizhou as a state pastor. In fact, the political environment of the Han Dynasty at that time was already very bad. Being the top leader of a party was very powerful, and it was far more comfortable than being an official in the central government and watching people.

Moreover, Jizhou's "people are prosperous and the army and food are abundant" ("Three Kingdoms"). The per capita GDP exceeds the average level of the Han Dynasty at that time, so it should be regarded as a developed area. When Dong Zhuo committed cruelty and various princes raised armies to attack him, Han Fu was one of them. In other words, Comrade Han Fu can be called one of the earliest entrepreneurial partners in the Three Kingdoms era.

Of course, since it is a partnership, it will naturally break up. At that time, Comrade Yuan Shao, the leader of the partnership, took a fancy to Han Fu's Jizhou equity and wanted to acquire it. At first, Han Fu resisted coyly ("Yuan Shaozhi was in Bohai, and Fu was afraid that he would raise troops, so he sent several troops to defend it" in "Three Kingdoms"), but Yuan Shao became angry at this resistance, so he issued a final order. Ultimatum.

Yuan Shao is generally regarded as a "beautiful straw bag" by later generations. Unfortunately, Han Fu did not see the true nature of his idiot, but he did see his beautiful outfit. So, the frightened Han Fu chose a dark and windy night to abandon the city and flee. In fact, for the warlord leader of a separatist party, the barrel of a gun is the lifeline, and choosing to "fly alone" is by no means a good way out.

So, where did Han Fu go? His old friend Zhang Miaochu. It's very frustrating for Comrade Han Fu, a weakling like him, to be a good leader and to have to shamelessly rely on others to earn a living. However, the matter is not over yet. It turned out that Yuan Shao happened to have business dealings with Zhang Miao and sent his men to discuss "business" matters. Han Fu, who was sitting next to him, actually thought that his old friend was going to betray him. When he returned home, he suffered from depression. Finally, he spent another month of dark and windy nights and committed suicide by hanging from a beam ("Hou Shao sent envoy Yi"). Miao was whispering to discuss matters, and Fu was sitting there, thinking that he was plotting to harm himself, so he committed suicide." "Three Kingdoms").

Liu Chan: The most dedicated softie in the Three Kingdoms era

The folk saying "Adou cannot be helped" seems to make our last emperor of the Shu Han Dynasty, his head shrink. , it lasted two thousand years. In fact, everyone knows why Liu Chan can't help him. Back then, when Sima Zhao was attacking Shu, Zhong Hui and Jiang Weifang were fighting. Deng Ai called a group of dead soldiers, rolled down the hillside with quilts, and went straight to the front of Chengdu city. In the face of a formidable enemy, Adou, the spiritual leader who is responsible for the restoration of the Han Dynasty, should hold on to the city and swear by blood, so as not to lose the heroic act. However, the fact is exactly the opposite. Our successor, "the enemy is bound to himself" ", the army barricaded the gate" ("Three Kingdoms"), and went to Deng Ai's army to plead guilty with an extremely embarrassing posture.

Such an "astonishing" coward's behavior will naturally be despised by future generations. The name of the king of a subjugated country is not very pleasant to begin with, but even the bloody show is avoided. The literati of later generations will naturally criticize him both verbally and in writing. However, if we look at Adou's actions from today's perspective, in addition to his weak posture that led to the overthrow of the family power, at least the people in the city at that time did escape a massacre. Perhaps, we can sketch Comrade Adou from another aspect: he is a peace lover with compassion and fearlessness who is willing to sacrifice his personal honor and family assets for the cause of national reunification.