Let me ask you, my father died of illness around October 22, 2012. Which day is better for cremation? How should we deal with the aftermath? Please give me some advice from someone who understands customs!

First of all, I would like to express my condolences to your old man. He is not very particular about modern funerals. Generally, he is cremated one to three days after his death. Try to let his family members see him for the last time before cremating him. Nowadays, some specific customs may still be retained in rural areas;

Small coffin: cleanse the body and put it on a shroud. This step should be done as early as possible, sometimes even before breathing out. Because after a few hours, due to the death of muscle cells, a stiffness of the limbs called rigor mortis will occur, which affects wearing a shroud. The shroud cannot be made of leather because tradition believes that the deceased will be reincarnated as an animal.

Funeral notification: formally informing relatives and friends near and far about the time, circumstances and funeral arrangements of the death. There are often strict situation and sequence regulations.

Going to the funeral: Relatives and friends come from other places to attend the funeral, bringing gifts, gifts, elegiac couplets, wreaths, etc.

Combination: Also known as temporary residence, the corpse is parked in the mourning hall for several days, waiting for relatives and friends who come to mourn; it also helps to confirm death rather than coma and suspended animation. The mourning hall can be a room at home, a temporary mourning shed, or a dedicated room in a funeral parlor. The mourning hall contains mourning banners, portraits of the deceased, food (offerings), incense, candles, paper money, etc. for the deceased. In addition, when the deceased cannot be formally buried for the time being, leaving the coffin in a temple or other place to await burial in the future can also be called coffin burial.

Wake: During the period of mourning, relatives and friends who are already present, especially the deceased’s juniors, take turns guarding the deceased in the mourning hall and accept the condolences of the mourners. During the entire funeral, the deceased's close relatives (called filial sons/daughters) wear white burlap clothes or gowns without seams, tied with straw ropes or hemp ropes around their waists, and wear straw sandals on their feet, which are called filial piety clothes.

Large burial: In the presence of family members, the deceased is moved into a coffin covered with mattresses, covered with a quilt, and nails are nailed to seal the coffin. Wealthy families may have two layers: an inner coffin and an outer coffin for burial objects.

Funeral and Burial: Take the coffin to the cemetery for burial. The beginning of the funeral is marked by the dutiful son breaking an earthen basin, which is called "breaking the basin". Led by the filial son holding a "soul-inducing flag", a band played and played, and paper money was distributed along the way to the cemetery. The burial ceremony was assisted by a Feng Shui master.

Burning seven: After the burial, relatives and friends visit the cemetery every seven days and burn paper money, seven times in one day for forty-nine days. There are also similar activities such as soul calling and paper money burning, which are called "doing seven". The ceremony on the forty-ninth day is called "Broken Seven" and is the end of the formal funeral part.

Observe filial piety: According to Confucian tradition, a filial son should guard the tombs of his parents for three years. During this period, he should avoid entertainment, drinking and eating meat, and sexual intercourse between husband and wife.

Memorial tablet: Family members use incense and candle offerings to worship the tablet with the name of the deceased.

Grave sweeping: Relatives and friends repair and clean the cemetery during the Qingming Festival.