On the Cultivation of "Matchmaker"

As an older single young woman, this marriage is not only a heart stone that the elders at home can't put down, but also a key concern of enthusiastic friends around after dinner.

I'm sure there are so many friends around you who have broken their hearts for you. I'll give you five tickets to introduce you. Or you are the one who likes to tie the red line.

So, what kind of accomplishment does a qualified matchmaker need?

(A) Self-cultivation: Zhuge Liang beforehand

If you find many single Wang with two legs around you, you really shouldn't treat them as Wang Xing people.

Wang Xingren is really nice and obedient. Just give them a bone and they can wag their tails for a long time. If you bring another opposite sex to play with it, even if it is not your own compatriot, you can be happy.

Keren, a complex creature, is not easy to serve. People's aesthetics are different, and there will be differences in the distance of somersault clouds. Moreover, what they are best at is picky, and there are too many things to consider, such as height, face value, personality, work, family, religious beliefs and so on. If there is a slight objection, a "good man card" will be issued.

And many enthusiastic matchmakers are completely unaware of this. One day, I happened to find two single men and women around me. They are well matched in height and education. They all look good and can match. But when we arranged for two people to sit there, we could only hear a flock of crows flying overhead.

This kind of introduction between friends is most prone to subjective mistakes. They think they are familiar with the information and mate selection requirements of both sides, and they easily involve two strangers and let them develop. The result is likely to be thankless.

Therefore, to be a good matchmaker, research and analysis are indispensable. This is why good dating websites now have to fill in a lot of information every time they register, which is more detailed than household registration survey. To be a competent matchmaker, we must first collect as much information as possible and use some psychological methods to objectively analyze the cognitive level, behavior, language and environmental patterns of men and women, so as to ensure that the two ends of the red rope stand opposite each other.

(2) Self-cultivation II: H-O-L-D residence

I firmly believe that no matter how boastful and talkative your friends are, once they meet strangers, especially blind dates, they are likely to become sheep in a second. This is not pretending, it is the function of human instinctive self-protection system, because if you don't know each other, you will automatically choose to sit tight and avoid exposing yourself, thus avoiding risks.

So, you may think, "This guy can still talk at ordinary times, why is he so silent and shy today?" . You can't blame him, but at this time, you need to find a way to promote the atmosphere, so that these two people can get familiar with the environment, the occasion and the person sitting opposite as soon as possible.

This is a kind of rhythm control, which can directly affect the subsequent relationship between three people.

At first, the scene was very strange and embarrassing. You need to think of some topics that everyone likes and enliven the scene first.

If two people talk about some topics, the more they talk, the more they need you to give them a stage;

But if a person talks for a long time, both sides are not interested from beginning to end, and even look at the watch on the mobile phone, then you need to find a way to end it as soon as possible and go home.

If you don't observe and control the rhythm, forcing two people to chat and play together will not only make the other person tired, but also disgust you as a middleman, and the boat of friendship will turn over.

So, be sure to hold it.

(3) Cultivation: Do a good job in the aftermath.

Well, we met, had dinner, maybe watched a movie, and finally went home.

Do you think this is the end? Of course not, because there is the last step-feedback and cleaning up.

Ask both sides about each other's intentions and feelings, and most enthusiastic matchmakers can do it. Especially if you get positive feedback, you will tell the other party immediately and feel that your merits are complete.

However, if they receive negative feedback, many matchmakers will not take the initiative to tell each other, so they may give up. However, since there is a beginning, no matter how it ends, there needs to be an end, giving each other an account of the time and energy they have spent.

Tell one party that the other party's true feelings only need to be true. After that, let nature take its course.

This makes people feel that you have at least spent time and tried your best.

Summary:

In fact, most matchmakers are not very reliable. Many people don't take it seriously or even introduce it casually. If they succeed, it's their credit. If you fail, blame others for being too picky.

Still have to believe in fate, you can always meet that TA inadvertently in the vast sea of people.

I wish you find a good partner as soon as possible!