If you are the one, please come in ~ ~
Harmony is the most important thing, nothing is uneasy, and humor is talented. Xiaogang Feng's first novel was written under excellent guidance.
1, written by Xiaogang Feng, is a famous film director. His representative works are good at humor, ridicule and banter. If You Are the One is his first original novel, which is worth looking forward to.
2. The linguistic features of If You Are the One continue Feng's humorous style, and there are many profound and tempered life proverbs, full of joy, but never superficial.
3. The people, feelings, events and scenes described in the novel are fashionable and even avant-garde. Different dating stories reflect the various living conditions of urban people, especially "white-collar workers", "petty bourgeoisie" and stock investors, which can attract readers' attention.
After ten years of brewing and five years of preparation, this novel was published at the end of 2008, because this year brought more feelings to Xiaogang Feng: "Many things happened this year, such as snowstorm, earthquake and financial crisis. In fact, everyone thinks that 2008 is a bit rough, but the future will go on, and I still believe that the future is good. I write my poor book to make readers laugh, because I want everyone to relax at the end of the year and welcome the new year. " Because of this, the people, feelings, events and scenes in If You Are the One are all marked with "time stamp": the protagonist Roi was praised by the other party as a junk stock that fell below the issue price when encountering petty bourgeoisie, and was laughed at by Liang Xiaoxiao. This kind of cold humor frequently makes readers smile, but behind the seemingly superficial "funny", we can see the warm and profound side of the story-positive for life, sincerity for friendship and persistence for love.
The people, feelings, events and scenes described in the novel are fashionable and even avant-garde. Different dating stories reflect the various living conditions of urban people, especially "white-collar workers", "petty bourgeoisie" and investors, which can attract readers' attention.
When Qin Fen first played "Sword Hammer" at the age of five, he never thought that this little trick would bring him wealth in decades.
Beijingers call it "Baojian Hammer", also called "Guess Ding Shell". When two children want the same thing and argue with each other, it is fair and effective to decide whether to win or lose by guessing fists.
That was in kindergarten. One day, Roi was hungry and his legs were shaking, so he colluded with another boy and sneaked into the kitchen. Although the kitchen is large, all the cabinets for storing food are locked. Looking around, I found only two buns and a peach. One steamed stuffed bun per person, who will take the peach? Boys proposed to use "bag scissors hammer" to decide. As a result, Roi won The boy is one year older than Qin Fen, strong and overbearing. But in the face of the result of "guessing the shell", the boy had no temper at all and willingly let Roi take the peach.
This incident left a deep impression on Roi. When you grow up, things change, and people become more complicated and thoughtful. Roi gradually fell into the problem of insomnia. It's a long night, and lying in bed is too boring and uncomfortable. I can't help but imagine and think deeply. There is no need to hide his shame. Roi often thinks of beauty, beauty and beauty contests. He found that every beauty contest, Carrie has the same wish, that is, world peace, which shows that world peace is out of reach. Why? Roi traced back to the source and found the root of the problem with its own ideas and analysis methods. That is to say, the contradictions and conflicts between all countries, races and people are all due to the unfair rule differences, so the contradictions gradually escalate and then evolve into fights.
At this time, Roi thought of "Baojian Hammer". Children can solve disputes in this way, but why not when they grow up? In his view, the reason is that when people grow up, there will be more bad attempts. They will be slow when they "guess the shell", and improvise boxing is commonly known as "spring hand". If this loophole can be solved, the "package shear hammer" will be widely used in all disputes, and peace is the most important.
In the tide of going abroad in the 1990s, Roi was also brought to the United States. It's called "studying abroad", but actually I haven't been to school for a day. He first went to a language school run by Iranians, which was lacking in other aspects, but applying for a student visa was his greatest strength. Most of the students in the class are housewives in the Middle East, always wearing headscarves and robes, and knitting sweaters in class. The course is nothing more than learning to sing, from Brave and Beautiful American House to Christmas Songs (Jingle Bells ……) and Happy Birthday to you for almost a year and a half. So up to now, the English foundation of Roi is basically the words in these songs, and the rest are nonsense. Someone asked him, "Where did you get it?" (What nationality), he replied "Beautiful Beijing, my sweet home". As a result, people praised his authentic English and poetic speech.
Later, he couldn't sing any more (because at that time, his job was also to use his voice, that is, to teach China children to sing Chinese songs and split his voice), so he changed to a school. This school is even more unique. It doesn't even have a classroom. There is only one principal's office in the shabby office building in the city center. The faculty and staff of the whole school add up to the principal. The headmaster is Italian. He put his legs on the table for a while, and his chest hair grew to his neck, like a grassroots backbone of the Sicilian mafia. The headmaster doesn't talk much to the students, with a strong accent and messy grammar, but he can still understand. His words are translated into Chinese, which means "the Los Angeles Immigration Bureau is run by our family". Students do not mention how much they like this sentence, and Roi is no exception. He can only go to school once a year, that is, pay tuition.
As for livelihood, Roi is a person with strong adaptability and viability. He doesn't care about anything, as long as he can make a living. He has delivered takeout food to restaurants, worked as a tour guide for travel agencies, sold insurance, and obtained a license as a real estate agent, that is, an intermediary for buying and selling houses. It is said that you can make a lot of money in this business, but it is not Roi. In fact, he worked hard, so he taught himself Zhouyi and knew a little about Feng Shui. Because China people buy a house, it is impossible not to talk about Feng Shui.
Roi is always holding a Feng Shui gossip instrument in his hand, wandering around the house in a serious way, drawing in the backyard, and his mouth is full of words, which is quite deceptive. But when you talk, you often talk too much, but you screw up your business. For example, there is a house with a price of $65,438 +0.2 million. The people who came to see the house were quite satisfied, and they came three times with their families. On the third trip, people asked: Who was the original owner? Why sell it? Roi answered truthfully without thinking, "Well, that's a bit circuitous. It turns out that this boss is an executive of Bank of America with an annual salary of millions of dollars. I bought a house after my promotion. But two years later, I went out and was killed by a car. Do you think it's bad luck? His wife is a housewife with three children and can't afford the mortgage, so she wants to sell it. " As a result, the person who looked at the house turned and left. No matter how deceptive Roi is, people don't consider it. Therefore, Roi has been in this business for quite a long time, and only sold a set of apartments of hundreds of thousands, and the commission he got was really pitiful. Fortunately, in this line of work, there is no need to commute by the hour, and time can be freely controlled, so during this period, he has been working in front of an industrial and commercial reporter of a Chinese newspaper. The so-called business reporter is actually advertising newspapers. He has a basic salary, but it is very low, but in any case, he still has a fixed income.
There are many people from China in LA, and Roi soon has a close social circle. Everyone plays together, the relationship is simple, there is no intrigue, no gossip. From this simple and precious friendship, Roi gained great spiritual pleasure. Most of these people are from Beijing, including restaurant owners, engineers from McDonnell Douglas, professors from state universities and librarians. Well, only the return on investment is unstable and marginal. But everyone thinks Roi's life is good. Although he is not rich, he is not particularly greedy for money. He enjoys life and lives very smartly.
Roi's last job in the United States was in an immigration company in Los Angeles, and his business card was printed with the words "settlement consultant". The so-called "settlement" means to pick up new immigrants from the mainland at the airport, help them find temporary accommodation, and then take them to the bank to open an account and apply for a social insurance number. His salary is low and he has no technical content, but in the eyes of new immigrants, he is a relative who has crossed the ocean in a foreign land and drifted to the hands of drowning people. Several new immigrant women almost fell in love with him a few days before landing, but Roi knew that all he did was after-sales service. At the deadline, he had to drive a Dodge Ram and stand in the terminal with flowers in his hand to be someone else's relative.
Where is Yiren (3)
Time flies, but the idea of solving world disputes with "Bao Jian hammer" has never left him. As long as he is idle, this idea will haunt him and torture him! After years of deliberation, he finally invented a "divergent terminal". The basic principle is that both parties to the dispute can only load, cut and hammer at the same time within the specified time after putting their hands into this "machine", and the time can be accurate to 0.000 1 second. Nobody can slow down and nobody can fake it!
This machine is much more powerful than inventing the atomic bomb! One is good, and the other is evil, which is not the same level at all. World peace has dawned, dreams have finally come true, and human ideals are no longer empty words. Fortunately, his invention was finally seen by an angel investor, and he bought out his patent generously in excitement. He immediately became rich!
A year ago, his father died of illness, and Roi quit his job and returned to Beijing after years of absence. Unconsciously, I am over forty years old. Although my hometown is good, I am still alone and have never been married. Mother advised him: It's time to settle down and have a home.
Speaking of which, there are many girls that Roi knows. Women's evaluation of him is that he is not bad and funny, but he can come up with something that is extremely unreliable. There is no need to be a brother, but he can get married. Actually, Roi knows that these women are fucking poor and love wealth.
Now that Qin fen has a sum of money, he also plans to end his single life, get married and have children. As a result, he found that Beijing today is several times bigger than when he left, and there are many times more people, but the communication between people has shrunk several times! There are many old classmates and friends, but they are all closed circles. Outsiders can't get in and make new friends. Those who have business contacts and need to know in their work are all about preventing people from being like thieves. There's really nothing. Taking pictures of women in the street? It's out of date! Besides, this is not a game played by men in their forties! There is no other way, Roi has to choose to get married. However, he doesn't want to use money as bait, thinking that he can really find his soul mate, and it's not too late to tell her "silly girl, you married a wallet".
His personal information is written like this:
Don't come if you want to find a handsome guy. If you want to find a wallet, don't see him. No master's degree or above, no Shanghai women, no female entrepreneurs (except small vendors), so as not to disappoint each other. Mr Andy Lau and Mr Tom Cruise, who are rich and handsome, will not propose to you. Of course, I didn't dream of Notting Hill. If you are really a fairy, I can't take it. I didn't expect you to look like the cover of a pictorial, and you were shocked at first sight. Ordinary people who are fashionable in appearance, conservative in heart and healthy in body and mind will do, and a little more elegant will be more reliable. Not too old and not too young. You are allowed to have unrealistic fantasies from time to time, but three sentences can blow back to reality without being angry or annoyed. At most, I just grin a little embarrassed and do what I want. I like women who can fold clothes. Every time I wash and iron it, it looks like I just bought it from the store. Be specific enough.
Let me introduce myself. I am old and well-off. I smoke, not drink. I went abroad as an international student. After living abroad for more than ten years, I didn't go to school seriously and wasted my time learning a survival skill. Now I'm back from overseas and I haven't learned anything. To tell the truth, I should be defined as a "three fake turtles" without company, stock and degree. Open-minded, 50-50, dishonest, but born timid, not breaking the law, not hurting my conscience, not being destroyed, I can't kill anyone. If you want to learn bad, you are doomed to be a bad person. Generally speaking, it still belongs to a category that is beneficial to the crowd and harmless to society.
You are the only one who is interested.