I want a funny sketch script!
It’s hard to know the beginning of chaos. Who knows how thick the earth is and how high the sky is. The sun and the moon travel to make people grow old. There is life to work hard, and it is inevitable that there will be a road of death and life. Eight words create destiny. It should be done;
The tree has deep roots and must be firmly rooted. People who abide by this dogma are good at martial arts. Dig the well three times and drink sweet water. I advise you to be patient and don’t let this little one go. People learn, if a villain crosses a river, he will tear down the bridge;
Businessmen can tolerate their anger and make money. No matter whether they are rich or poor, they will be treated the same way. Businessmen and sellers stick to the road. When you stand at the counter, you are smiling broadly. Don’t worry. Don't be in a daze if you feel sleepy, as if you are not making a fortune in this business;
I have walked through three rivers, six rivers, heavy rains, and rivers, and I am used to seeing the bright lights and debauchery, and the hot and cold world. I argue about what is more and what is less, and I am a hero. If you try to be strong and dream of gold and silver, it would be better for you to come and listen to Guo Degang from Deyun Society~ I wish you all to attract wealth and be filled with joy~
That should be true~
A: Thank you, thank you all~
B: Yes~
A: Brother Qianer hasn’t slept for a long time~ I don’t know what he did~ < /p>
B: Haha~ Why don’t I stay with you~
A: Hey~ This is not right~~~
B: Haha~
p>
A: So many people are here~
B: Ah
A: Seeing everyone makes me happy~
B: Yes ~
A: I support you~
B: Yes~
A: Listening to more cross talk is good. Listening to more cross talk means you are patriotic~
p>
B: Patriotic?
A: Five thousand years of traditional culture are all reflected in cross talk~
B: Yes~
A: Look~ let’s talk now ~A lot of people can’t make it to the scene~
B: Yeah~
A: You can also download it online~
B: It’s available everywhere~
A: Ah~many people have crosstalk in their MP3 player~
B: I like this~
A: Convenient~
B :Yes~
A: It doesn’t matter if you can’t come to the theater~ You can still listen~
B: Just pick it up and listen~
A: The times are developing, and society is Making progress~
B: Yeah~
A: Did you dare to imagine MP3?
B: How could it be available at that time?
A: No~
B: No~
A: Did you know what fitness was back then?
B: Not at that time~
A: Look at the camera a hundred years ago~
B: No~
A : It’s not that good~
B: Yes~
A: (facing the person taking pictures under the stage) And there is no person taking pictures~
B : Nonsense~
A: (Make a V gesture to the person taking the photo)
B: Hi~
A: Hurry up and take the photo, I can’t hold on. Just a little longer~ They won’t do it~~
B: Diabetes is not possible~
A: I’m not near here~ Did you have a mobile phone in the past?
B: No~
A: Don’t say it’s in the past~ How many years have you gone back and have extra legs for ten or eight years~ Is it so common?
B: That’s not the case at all~
A: No, it was your grandfather’s time in those days~
B: Liberation Come on~
A: At that time~his grandfather was responsible for some work in the village~
B: Yes~
A: Something happened , take the big tin trumpet~
B: It will act as amplification~
A: "Fellows, come out, ~the imperial army will not grab food~"
B: What happened to the traitor?
A: That’s his grandfather~
B: That’s not what he did
A: Later~ there was The electricity is on~
B: Ah~
A: The village also has that big speaker~
B: Yes~
First
: There is a person shouting in the house~
B: It’s electrified
A: His uncle calls this in the village, his uncle~
B: Yes. Responsible?
A: Widow Zhang, Widow Wang, Widow Li, the head of the village, if you don’t pay the electricity bill, I will kick in your door tonight~
B: Oh~~ I’ll kick in the widow’s door. ?
A: Ah~
B: What are you doing?
A: Times are developing, and now everyone has a mobile phone~
B: Alas, everyone has one~
A: It is getting more advanced day by day~ < /p>
B: Yes~
A: Including colorful bells~
B: There are many colorful bells~
A: In the past two years Where is it? There are no SMS ringtones~
B: There are all kinds of them now~
A: My mobile phone is~
B: Really?
A: Every call from a different friend has a different voice~
B: Is there a difference?
A: Ah~ "Dang Tang Li Li Li Li Lu Tang Li Li Dong,..." This is a friend from the music industry~
B: Oh~~Shan Xian'er~ ~
A: Hey, the one who sings the single string song~ "Kick da~ta, the ringing data leads the jingle~" The one who sings allegro~
B: Hey~
< p>A: "Get up, you people who don't want to be slaves~" My wife~B: Huh? ~~~This is the result of long-term oppression~
A: "Dad, please answer the phone."
B: Is this?
A: (As if answering the phone) Yu Qianer~~~
B: (Pushing A) Go~~~~change the ringtone for me~~~
p>
A: That’s what it means~~Right~~~
B: What do you mean~~
A: Times are developing and society is progressing~ People The standard of living has improved~
B: Ah~~
A: People go to higher places, and water flows to lower places~
B: Yes~
A: Everyone wants to succeed~
B: Yes~'
A: Do something big~
B: Yes, yes~
A: Teacher Yu is pretty good~
B: Me~! Average~
A: In the cross talk world, this is considered a trouble, right?
B: I dare not say that~~
A: You’ve had enough of Gang Feng~
B: What’s the matter
A: It’s amazing~ The manager of our theater~~~ said that other actors “can’t do it~no one can do it~”
B: Don’t like it?
A: Only Teacher Yu can praise you~
B: The theater manager has three hands?
A: He has six fingers~
B: Hi~~It doesn’t count~~~
A: You are amazing~~
B: No~
A: His family is also very good~
B: Influence~~
A: Teacher Yu’s fathers~ ~~Ah~~Here~~~
B: Don’t add the word 'men' here? There are not so many people~
A: His father always likes to lean against the door and talk~
B: Hi~~That doesn’t count~~
A: Yu The teacher’s father, Mr. Wang~ in this Beijing...
B: Hey hey hey~~~Okay~ My surname is Yu and my father’s surname must be Yu.
A: Is there such a coincidence?
B: It’s not a coincidence~
A: Send everyone! You picked it, right?
B: No~`
A: Huh?
B: A son inherits his father’s surname, so you have to say this~
A: Their old man is a great man, otherwise how could he have such a son?
B: Hi~~hehe~
A: Huh? ~~The government also values his father very highly~
B: That’s right~
A: Ah~ the government said, “Whoever can find his father will be given 100,000 yuan.” , If I can deliver it, I’ll give you more.”
B: What’s wrong with the wanted criminal?
A: It’s amazing~ That’s why he has this achievement~ The first person in the Chinese cross talk circle to buy a car is named Yu Qian~~
B: Oh~~ buy it earlier~
p>
A: While all the smart guys were riding their bicycles and holding their monthly passes, Teacher Yu was already driving on the car~~
B: Hey, it doesn’t count. What~
A: I bought one and what is it called~~ Juli
B: Three pieces? I drive a tricycle?
A: He, those guys still get monthly passes~ It would be great if you have this
B: I might as well take a bus with a monthly pass
p>
A: It belongs to you~ You can go wherever you want~
B: Ah~
A: It’s just cold in winter~ There is a stove in the car~ on the front glass Make a hole in the chimney~~
B: Oh~~~
A: Pull out two hundred pieces of briquettes in the back bucket~~"Dududududududu"~ < /p>
B: Ouch~~
A: A warm winter~~
B: Yes~ just burn it yourself~
A : Ah~~I got rich later~
B: That’s it~
A: I just bought a new Juli~
B: Hi~~How about I change one or four wheels?
A: Pulling a spare tire~~
B: What is the spare tire tube for?
A: Teacher Yu is even more amazing today~
B: Yes~
A: I am also very particular about what I wear~
< p>B: Ah~A: The food is also the best~Whatever comes down (ripe)~What will he eat first~~
B: Ah~~
A: Amazing~ The house we live in is also very good~
B: Yes~
A: Four floors upstairs and downstairs ~ 700 square meters with a motorcycle ~
B: Did I go to the three-bedroom house again?
A: No~
B: What’s wrong?
A: There is a small door with that one. After entering, you can open the roof. . . . .
Oh~Elevator~Elevator~~`
B: Hi~ You who brought the elevator made it clear~
A: Let me learn from you~~`
B: Let’s talk about school~
A: Okay?
B: No~~
A: Because I have always known this sentence ~ "It is guilty to look down on the superior"
B: Hey~ This is right ~
A: If you are very capable, then you are very capable~ If you don’t agree with others, that won’t work~ Swearing will not solve the problem~
B: Ah~~It’s useless to choke~~
A: Learn from Teacher Yu, I will become an outstanding person~
B: You? Do you have an advantage?
A: Me~ Personally speaking, I am a very good person~
B: Ah~ that’s the basic thing~
A: Hey~ look I am a person~ Let’s put it this way~
B: Ah~
A: I saw a big leather bag while walking on the street~ When I opened it, it was full of money~
B: Yes~
A: Someone else took it and ran away~
B: Ah
A: If it were me, wait for the owner~
B: Alas~~That’s right~~~
A: Well~~~~the four words "picking up gold and not being ignorant" are talking about me~~~
B: Can you do it?
A: Of course~wait for the owner~
B: Okay~
A: The owner says no~I want it again~
B: Hey~ Why wouldn’t you want it? What do you say to people when you meet them?
A: Don’t tell him~
B: Huh? Then what are you waiting for?
A: Wait for him to come over~Oh~make sure it’s him~he’s gone~you go home~
B: Okay~you got the money really well~~
A: I~ I will succeed~
B: Ah
A: I will become an outstanding person~
B: Then what are your abilities?
A: Bah~~~
B: What’s wrong?
A: This is what you call a bully~
B: Why are you bullying?
A: How can you stand down from so many people~
B: If you don’t have one, I’ll just ask~
A: What are you talking about? Is it human language?
B: What are your abilities?
A: You said "What are you capable of" with your big mouth. Do you know that this is an insult?
B: Why is it insulting?
A: My whole life’s wisdom was ruined by your hands~
B: What kind of wisdom?
A: No gain or loss?
B: No? What would be ruined without me?
A: If you have it, it will be destroyed in your hand~
B: Isn’t it true?
A: I am very clever~
B: What can I do?
A: I can~~I can cut mutton slices~
B: Huh?
A: I can also cut beef slices~
B: Oh~~
A: I can also sharpen a knife~~
B: Finished sharpening the knife~~~~
A: Cut the mutton slices~
B: OK~
A: Cut the beef slices too~
p>
B: Stop cutting it~ Wouldn’t it be over if you were just a chef?
A: That’s right~ That’s okay~ I’ll be the number one scholar~
B: Yes
A: Right? We have a companion, a eldest sister, a chef~
B: Who is it?
A: Dae Jang Geum~
B: Dae Jang Geum?
A: South Korea~Korea~far~way~~
B: Yes
A: Through superb cooking skills, the emperor was They all hooked up~ I used my cooking skills
B: Ah~
A: How can I get the two ladies to live together~
B: My heart is still there It’s so big, how about two ladies?
A: Well, there is a main palace and a partial one~~~
B: Okay, don’t think about this
La~!
A: I would like this~
B: Ah~
A: I opened a restaurant~
B: Okay Ah~
A: Korean food~
B: Yes
A: My name is Xiao Janggeum~~
B: Young Jang Geum?
A: As soon as it opens, the guests are here, come and have a bowl of braised pork~
B: Why are you still selling braised pork?
A: He thought he and Xiaocha Chener were buddies (is that the name?)
B: Well, it’s not a chain store~
A : I~I thought about it~I have to ask for good luck~~~
B: How to ask for good luck?
A: I have to ask for something good and auspicious first~~~~~
B: A sign?
A: Yes, yes~ You see, everyone is asking for this and that to be provided in the house~`
B: Yes, yes
A : Why can’t I do it?
B: You can also ask for it~
A: If I want to do a big business, I have to ask for good luck~
B: How to ask for it?
A: There is an ancient temple in Xishan, Beijing. There is an old god inside. Is he an old monk? He speaks very eloquently~~
B: Ah~~
A: He also has the one he is carrying~~
B: Amulet~~~
A: Yes~~I’ll ask for one~~~
B: Please ask for one
A: I’ll ask for one~My heart is very pious~~ I got up at five o'clock in the morning~
B: So early?
A: You are pious~~~
B: Oh~~~
A: This is very important~~Have you met our Tibetan lamas? ~~
B: I know~~
A: That person kowtowed to his head~
B: Ah~~
A: That means they are pious~~~
B: Yes~~
A: Just throw away the "bia"~~
B: Not that much Ruthless~~
A: Really, really~ kowtow with "kua"~~~
B: Yes~
A: I will get rich in the future I have six lamas at home~
B: What are you doing?
A: Mop the floor~~~
B: Huh? How about using a lama as a mop?
A: Clean~squeaky clean~
B: Yes, that’s for the future~
A: That’s for the future , let’s talk about the front first,
B: Yes
A: I’ll go first,,
B: Go up to the Western Mountain
A: Five o'clock~ Come out, the car broke down
B: Yo~!
A: What’s going on? Walk~
B: Walk?
A: You have to go on foot~
B: Oh
A: You have to be pious,
B: Ah
A: Walking to Xishan, 12 o'clock at noon, all morning long, is this heart pious enough?
B: Okay
A: Are you pious enough?
B: Yes
A: As soon as we entered the temple, the young monk came out~
B: Ah~
A: Where did the donor come from? I said, ‘I came from the Eastern Land and the Tang Dynasty’
B: Huh? Are you here to learn from the experience?
A: Don’t be joking~Don’t be joking~
B: That’s right
A: Are you here to ask for a signature? Or doing health care?
B: What kind of temple is this? Why is there still health care here?
A: This temple is called Baojian Temple.
B: What Baojian Temple is it?
A: Remember the original legend ~ Gou Jian, King of Yue~~ is cheap enough~
B: Who is cheap enough?
A: That’s quite mean~ There is a big sword~ And then the sword~ is sharpened~
B: (stopping) We don’t listen to history
A: Can you cut mutton slices?
B: How about cutting the mutton into pieces?
A: No, you don’t understand this
B: I don’t understand, just say this...
A: This is all science (xiao twice) Ah, this is all~
B: This is what you say in the temple...
A: For him, his sword and the offering, cover This temple is called Baojian Temple~
B: Oh oh oh~ oh~~
A: We are here to ask for the smiling little sword~
B: Oh~ amulet~~~
A: Be a little guy and use a red rope to tie this amulet~~~
B: Yes, yes~
A: Big sword~small sword~right?
B: Don’t mention this, just~
A: We are willing to ask for this~
B: Oh~
A: I said I asked for a sword~ Hey~ Come with me to the back~
B: Come in
A: The master is at the back~
B: Ah~
A: Go around the corner and go to the back~There is a meditation hall~The old monk is sitting there~
B: Yes~
A: Ha~ big eyebrows~ (gesture, go to the ground)
B: To the underground?
A: Ah~ Then sit (action, meditate) opposite and be a girl~
B: Be a girl?
A: Oh, this is beautiful ~ so beautiful ~
B: What is it for?
A: Do you want to do health care~
B: Or do you want to do health care?
A: What the hell?
B: Nonsense~ Why did she come?
A: She also asked for a sword~ She asked for a sword~
B: Oh~