Zhuji marriage custom uu
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? A nation and a region have unique marriage customs. According to the lifestyle, religious beliefs, customs and habits handed down by ancestors, as well as the influence of geographical and economic conditions, communities in various regions have deduced their own unique forms of marriage etiquette. Some of these marriage customs and forms are strange, some are romantic, some are solemn, some are simple, some are full of religious mystery, and more are shining with the glory of human civilization. Different marriage customs change and develop with the progress of history and the change of people's ideology.
Zhuji, once the old capital of Yue, has a history of more than 2,000 years, with profound cultural accumulation and historical inheritance. It can be said that the folk wedding customs in Zhuji have the same etiquette norms as the feudal society in China, and have a unique regional color. Now write a simple talk about my humble work.
First, blind date
"Men should be married and women should be married". This proverb illustrates the objective law of folk marriage in China. In the old countryside of Zhuji, when young men and women are seventeen or eighteen, or even earlier, parents have to worry about their children's marriage. However, these marriages must abide by "parents' orders, matchmakers' words" and "six rites". (The so-called six gifts are: accepting gifts and proposing marriage. Ask the name, ask the woman's name and date of birth. Najib, a gift engagement. Take a levy and send a dowry. Invite a date and agree on a wedding date. Greet the bride. "Zhuji People's Daily Five-week Commemorative Album" once recorded that this marriage was the words of a matchmaker, and the woman's family wrote a red note, and the woman's family replied with a "permission post". The date of birth is "Geng Tie", also known as "KouTie".
There are very few people who specialize in matchmaking in rural areas of Zhuji. People call them matchmakers? Quot Business outside the 36th line "However, people also believe that matchmaking is a good thing and can make people beautiful, so there are still many people who match the bridge. In the old books, the matchmaker was called "Yue Lao", and in the countryside it was called "Media Da" and "Eating three pots and bottles". After liberation, it was also called "introducer".
People who are willing to be matchmakers are always eloquent, and some of the parties involved in matchmaking are often relatives, neighbors, or relatives and friends. He has a better understanding of the social status, economic conditions and human nature of both sides. Most of them are entrusted by people to cut strings and frequently run between men and women. If both parents like each other, when the time is ripe, the matchmaker will ask both men and women for "Geng Tie", also known as "Dragon and Phoenix Tie". The names, places of origin and birthdays of both men and women are written in red books printed with clay gold and sent to each other through matchmakers. Both sides put the posts under the incense burner in front of the incense hall or kitchen. Then ask a fortune teller to tell fortune to see if the two birthdays are harmonious, and if they are harmonious, they will become one. This beautiful marriage has taken the first step. The essence of these processes is six rites? Quot that talent "and" ask the name ".
After liberation, these red tape were basically abolished, and the exchanges between young men and women between urban and rural areas and between units increased day by day. Free love has become the general trend. Of course, after love matures, there will be so-called "media giants" who will send messages to both parents and arrange marriage. However, this job is relatively easy, and "references" will be invited to match the bridge and get to know people who are in love. In rural areas, the two sides don't know much about each other, and there is also a blind date process. The so-called blind date has two ways: "seeing the girl" and "seeing others".
"Watching the girl" is the matchmaker who accompanies the young man to his girl's house. When the two sides meet, young men and women can look at each other's personalities and looks. Accompanied by the woman's father, uncle or brother, you can chat over tea, observe the man's manners and understand his character cultivation. When new guests come, they should treat themselves to a snack. This is no ordinary snack. If the woman is satisfied with the young man, she must be satisfied? Quot Tangyuan ",which means wishing this marriage" reunion ". If you don't like it very much, you can't tell what snacks it is.
"Looking at others" means that girls visit men's homes. As the saying goes, there is a joke of "ten media and nine associations". No matter how good the matchmaker says, everything he hears is false, everything he sees is true, and field trips are the most reliable. "Taking care of others" is generally carried out by the woman's harem and the girl. This is actually a comprehensive survey of the man's family economy, housing, environment and relations outside the neighborhood. The success of marriage depends largely on this action. After 1980s, with the development of rural economy and the change of life concept, there are more and more contacts between girls and boys, and the exchange of thoughts and feelings is increasingly active. If you are in love, both parties know each other very well. Yesterday? Quot The custom of blind date will gradually withdraw from the historical stage.
Second, engagement.
Through blind date and love, the feelings of men and women will deepen day by day to a certain time, and they will be engaged, which is the "Naji, Zheng Na" ceremony in ancient books.
Choose the date "Wending", prepare colored flowers and red candles, dates and fruits, press them with gold thread and stick them with gold paper, which is called "double fruit"; Those with colored lines are called "results", and those with colored flowers and fruits around them are called "fruits". Press the silver line and call it "engagement money".
This is an engagement article and custom recorded in the chronicle more than 80 years ago. However, there are many differences in folk practices.
After the man asked Mr. Wang to choose the engagement date, he wrote a red post and wrapped it with clay gold and two immortals. The so-called "harmony between two immortals" refers to the traditional pattern of two children, one carrying a box and the other carrying a load, which is homophonic. Please ask the matchmaker to bring two candy longan gift packages to the woman's house a few months ago to post an invitation. After knowing the engagement date, both parties should prepare the engagement money and materials immediately. The man should prepare the "gift money" and clothes first, which depends on the economic conditions of both sides. Secondly, we should prepare a gift package, which depends on the number of relatives of the woman, at least 36, and at most 100. Most of the gift packages are white sugar, rock sugar, litchi, red dates, walnuts and other north and south dried fruits. There is also an absolutely indispensable "five generations of fruit." The so-called "five-generation fruit", that is, dates, torreya nuts, walnuts, longan and peanuts, are all wrapped in red and green colored paper and wrapped in gold thread, which means "the five generations will meet." A picky family has to cook 108 "fixed dishes".
On that day, the matchmaker led several young and strong men to the woman's house to send a bride price. The daughter-in-law was greeted with joy and joy, and a banquet was held at noon to entertain relatives and friends and guests. This kind of wine is commonly known as "Ding Yi wine". Relatives and friends will bring back a gift bag and palm seed after drinking Ding Yi wine. This means a new bride and, of course, a "wedding present".
In the afternoon, Communication University bid farewell to the male guests and turned back to the female home. The woman has added a "return gift" to the gift-giving burden. In the old society, it was called "Four Dishes" with clothes, boots and shoes, a pair of mandarin ducks embroidered with satin, sugar cakes like glutinous rice balls, chicken balls dyed pink, or Four Treasures of the Study. There are all kinds of sweets in modern times, such as red and green jiaozi, peanuts and red eggs, as well as a suit of clothes and new shoes and hats, which are all gifts for unmarried son-in-law. These foods are called "returning cakes". After the man received it, he distributed these "back-to-back cakes" to relatives and neighbors. Of course, the man's family will also hold a banquet in the evening and invite relatives and friends to drink.
After the ceremony, the young man became a well-deserved "hairy son-in-law". If the woman has something to do, the young man will naturally help. On holidays, the future son-in-law will bring gifts to visit his elders. In this way, young men and women get to know each other better and fall in love with each other in frequent contact.
Third, kiss and greet.
A year and a half after engagement, both men and women should prepare for marriage. The man should decorate his new house and prepare wedding gifts, and the woman should prepare dowry and wedding clothes.
As the saying goes, only choose a day to ask for relatives, not a day to marry. On the wedding day, the man's family must choose to write an invitation, and let the matchmaker bring a gift package to the woman's family to inform. Most traditional festivals are held in the twelfth lunar month at the end of the year and the first month of the new year. At this time, it is the slack season, farmers have more leisure time, the weather is cold, and food is easy to store. Nowadays, in addition to choosing this time period, many young people get married on National Day, New Year's Day and May Day.
The day before the wedding, the man sent eight or nine young people to carry boxes and eat iron cages early, and sent rich gifts to the woman. The suitcase and food cage are made of fine wood, carved with dragons and painted with gold, which is very delicate. There used to be a courtesy post, and all the gifts were written on the post.
"A man with a pot of pine and cypress, pig horns, millet cakes, chickens and geese are full, and a hundred rice balls and eggs are dyed red, which is called' ten dishes', while a pig with five internal organs is full, which is called' family portrait'. This is the old etiquette. In modern times, the main gift is: there is a piece of pork, but it must be connected from head to tail, plus more than ten kilograms of sandwich meat. This is commonly known as "heart meat", which means that the daughter-in-law is the future "heart meat" of her mother-in-law. A lamb, some fish, some chicken, some wine, some candy and some cigarettes. There are nearly a hundred in palm seed, and the largest one, palm seed, is as big as a thermos, and is called "Taipo Brown". There are also "five generations of brown", from the largest to the smallest, five are connected in a string, which means "five generations meet and five generations are auspicious". There is also an indispensable big white goose. The ancient book "Confused Classics of the Book of Rites" said, "Wild geese are used for gathering, asking names, taking Ji, inviting guests and welcoming relatives". The ancients believed that geese were migratory birds, and they traveled in a harmonious way of yin and yang, symbolizing that men and women got married in a harmonious way of yin and yang. Or the goose loses its spouse, never doubles again for life, and takes its loyalty. There is also an ancient custom in the countryside of our city to use geese instead of geese.
All kinds of gifts are hung with red silk cotton. Young people like to carry "gifts" and walk on country roads, exuding joy and joy all the way.
It is a good day to greet each other. Both men and women were full of guests, dressed in red, and very lively. It can be said: the kitchen knives and spoons jingle, steaming wine and food; Old relatives and new relatives congratulate each other; The laughter was full of joy. Red happy characters are pasted on the window lattice, red palace lanterns are hung under the eaves, and red wedding couplets are pasted between the doors. Couplets of married women are posted at the woman's house, such as "Today I say goodbye to my mother in tears, and next year I will bring my son with a smile" and so on. Banners are mostly "the joy of returning". The man posted couplets to welcome the new people. Such as "the sky is full of love birds, and there are always branches connected on the ground" and so on. There are words such as "tie the knot", "a hundred years of harmony" and "a match made in heaven" on the banner.
In the early morning, the man sent twenty or thirty young men, led by the matchmaker, to the woman's house to get married. These people are called "OK"? quot。 There is an old song that says, "Go on, go on, borrow clothes, two drops of broth, tears in your eyes". The living conditions in rural areas in the old society were poor, and the teasing of ballads reflected Hanglang's embarrassment at that time. There are also "bearers" and "drummers" of sedan chairs. According to records, these two trades were mostly done by "fallen people" and were abolished after liberation.
The tools for picking up and dropping off brides have also changed over time. In twenty or thirty years, the sedan chair in Ni Peng was replaced, and later it was changed into a rickshaw. Bicycles were very popular in rural areas in the 1960s and 1970s, motorcycles were used in the early 1980s, and now ornate cars are also very popular.
At noon, the woman's house held a banquet with wine, commonly known as "delivering sedan chair wine". Distant relatives and close neighbors all get together to drink and get married. Elders and matchmakers sit above the table. After drinking too much, the maid's cook will "blackmail" the matchmaker for cigarettes and candy as comfort. Most men come prepared and solve it naturally. Of course, there will be some conflicts, and the coolies will "sanction" the matchmaker-manage the cattle regiment and make him yield. This kind of drama is often called "making hair" in rural areas. It has been basically abolished.
At some point in the afternoon, Xinglang will leave. The relatives of the woman coolie packed the dowry and sent it to the entrance of the village for Hanglang to carry away.
The woman sent her makeup, several cupboards on the bed and table, copper and tin utensils, five tables, at least one pair of boxes and cages, and at most five pairs. The twenties and thirties were similar to those at the beginning of liberation, just some daily necessities and clothes and quilts. The amount of dowry is closely related to the two economies. But whether rich or poor, the size of footbath and toilet can not be without. They are commonly known as "children's barrels" and are symbols of children's reproduction.
All dowries are pasted with red happy characters and tied with red silk cotton. Sprinkle popcorn, fried soybeans and red and green peanuts on the shoulders and boxes. In the cupboard, there is fruit candy in the quilt pillow, stuffed with red eggs, oranges and pomegranates. As soon as the dowry arrived at the man's house, it was "robbed" by Hanglang and the urchin, hoping to have a good sign of "more children and more happiness" and "sweet marriage".
After the reform and opening up, farmers' economy has become increasingly affluent and their dowry has become more and more exquisite. In addition to traditional objects, complete sets of new furniture, televisions, refrigerators, air conditioners and other high-end electrical appliances have also become necessary things. Some parents even married off the means of production such as hosiery machines and looms, which provided a guarantee for their daughters and son-in-law to develop their economy in the future. Today's "Hanglang" is not what it used to be. They are all in suits and ties, and their spirit is passable. Dowry no longer needs to be carried on the shoulders, but it is transported by car, but it will move up and down as a guest.
"When the horn sounded, it was time for my brother to carry me to the sedan chair, and my second brother to go to the City God Temple with a basket. Is it time for Adi to be a dog behind the sedan chair? quot。 This folk song vividly and interestingly records the scene of a girl getting married and getting into a sedan chair in the old society.
It's time to be old. Drummers beat gongs and drums to welcome the bride. The bride, wearing a brand-new wedding dress and a rockhopper, was carried upstairs in a sedan chair by her brother. Then, accompanied by a bridesmaid, she said goodbye to her parents and villagers in tears, and was carried out of the village by a sedan chair bearer and set off for her new home. There was a custom of crying sedan chair in the old Dongxiang mountain area, but now it doesn't exist.
Now this country is completely open and the world is changing. Before getting married, the bride and groom must go to the photo studio to take a set of exquisite wedding art photos to show the beauty and charm of the couple. On the wedding day, I went to the beauty salon to dress up and put on a colorful wedding dress, showing the best posture and mood in my life. Accompanied by my daughter-in-law, I laughed and boarded the colorful car, and ran to a new starting point of life with a vision and hope for a better future.
Fourth, pay tribute to the church.
In the evening, the relatives and friends of the man's family have already made all kinds of preparations, and the groom is radiant and waiting for the arrival of the bride.
Of course, Hanglang arrived first. Dowry home, strong men and young women, busy. The urchin grabs the happy fruit, and the adults move things. But not everyone can move the "boy bucket", and the groom's brother must move it. In the countryside, he was nicknamed "Uncle Toilet Dung". Uncle brought the toilet into the new house with a happy face, which naturally attracted everyone to laugh. Toilets are not wasted. Two red eggs and a red envelope in the red paint toilet are a pleasure.
The new bed in the new house needs an old woman to decorate it. This old lady is called "Smooth Mammy" in the countryside. To be a "smooth wet nurse", there must be conditions: first, the old couple should focus on the key points, and second, the children and grandchildren should be full. It is recognized in the village that people with high seniority, long years and good luck. ? Quot Smooth wet nurse is an honor and honor in the village. What I want is "a full house of children and grandchildren, and a long life without borders".
The male family sent a wedding procession to wait at the entrance of the village early. When the bride's car arrived, two little boys immediately lit torches to meet the bride and took her into the village. When I got home, firecrackers were ringing, people were buzzing, and the folk band was playing, which was full of joy. A coolie threw a lot of fruit candy at the guests on the upstairs porch. Everyone laughed and grabbed, and it was very lively. The groom took the opportunity to take the bride into the new house.
In the old days, there must be a ceremony of "visiting the church" and "carrying on the family line".
The Zhuji People's Daily Five-week Commemorative Album is described in this way. "The bride with the groom tucks out a gift to the god of heaven and earth, salutes the ancestors in the interior, and then pays homage, each with a man and a woman, and is blessed in the third year of high school, which is called' welcoming the bride'. With a red scarf, each man and woman holds one end and says "draw red". On the red cloth bag, it is called "generation" alternately.
When the bride got off the sedan chair, she was helped by Sister Li Shun and entered the incense hall with the groom. Through the master of ceremonies of the elders, the elders have something to say: a man and a family in a certain hall cultivated Qin Jin's kindness and married forever. Then one worships heaven and earth, the other worships ancestors, and the husband and wife worship each other. This is the "wedding ceremony". After the ceremony, people were sent to their new houses. At this time, two or three coolies spread sacks on the road, and the bride and groom walked past the sacks in turn with red scarves. Before entering the new house, the bride must pass through a rice screen. Therefore, in the countryside, there was a saying that "after eating the sedan chair, walking through the sack and stepping on the rice sieve", it was clear that Mingmei was getting married.
The ceremony of "passing on the family line" is to pray for the newlyweds to "reproduce and pass it on from generation to generation". After liberation, this ancient ceremony has long been abolished. In recent years, the author has seen that some places in rural areas are recovering.
The bride came into the room and sat on the edge of the bed with her escort. At this time, urchins, children, aunts and aunts all go into the new house to see the dowry, the bride and the fruit. It's good. Mammy is busier. I want to arrange for the bride to wipe her face instead of a towel, but with her mother-in-law's old clothes. It is said that in this way, the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will love each other and live in harmony in the future. And feed it to jiaozi. The smooth mammy picked up the dumplings for the bride to taste. She murmured: Tangyuan is round, and it is best to have a son. The bride also symbolically eats three. Some naughty coolies may be jiaozi, who is stuffed with chili and so on. When seeing the embarrassment of the bride after being choked by pepper, the urchin and naughty guests at the scene will laugh with satisfaction.
That night, the lights were brightly lit, the wedding banquet was opened, and close friends, neighbors and eight relatives were beaming, sitting around the table, gathering together, congratulating each other and drinking and having fun. After drinking half of the wine, the interest rose, so the sound of guessing boxing at the dinner party came and went, gradually pushing the atmosphere of the wedding banquet to a climax.
Halfway through the meal, the bride and groom poured wine for the guests. First, chiefs, grandfathers and elders, matchmakers and uncles pay tribute to each other. At this time, the elders will also give "visiting money". Then pour it in turn. In this ceremony, people first let the bride meet her relatives and elders to express their gratitude. At this moment, the young people took the opportunity to come up with various tricks to play tricks on the bride and accompany her. Some scalded the hip flask, some stuffed the spout with lotus root silk, and some set up a strange "wine table" with a spoon, which made it difficult for the bride and groom to accompany them. Friends' well-meaning jokes make the festive wedding banquet more lively and joyful.
Fifth, noisy rooms.
Qianlong's Zhuji County Records: "Husband and wife are the beginning of Tao, and marriage is the beginning of husband and wife." When you secretly see your wedding night, whether it's your relatives or getting married outside, you enter the room and indulge in drinking and flirting. This is called making love.
Noisy rooms are commonly known as "noisy rooms" among the people. Noisy rooms can be divided into "noisy" and "noisy". "Wen Nao" is accepted by all, and "Wu Nao" is despised by all.
Haunted rooms are mostly young people, and sometimes older ones. These people have a glib tongue, can sing auspicious songs and beg new people for fruit. These songs are humorous, catchy and pleasing to the ear, which can add a lot of fun to the wedding. For example: bride, please like candy; Candy is sweet, and husband and wife love each other for life. Bride, begging for children; With two sharp heads, the bride made a fortune as soon as she got home ... and such songs were included in Zhuji Folk Songs Collection.
After dusk, the "noisy wine", commonly known as "warm wine", was put out in the new house. Invite the young friends in the village to sit down, and the bride and groom will share the sugar cigarettes. Everyone joked, laughed, drank and guessed fists until midnight, when the party was over.
At the entrance of Beixiangdian, near Meichi, some even invited singing classes. After the "warm house wine", it is necessary to "send the child to the bridal chamber". In the new house, I will also sing an auspicious song of wishes. At the same time, there is the custom of "tick". The smooth mammy opened the bride's box in front of all relatives, so that people could see how much money, how much softness, and how much clothes and materials there were.
As for "quarreling", it is somewhat uncivilized. According to records, in the old Dongxiang mountainous area, there is a common custom that "the groom leaves the boudoir and suddenly has a fist to make friends with him, so-called' the groom's fist' is also". In many places, shoes, socks and scarves of brides and girls are forcibly taken off as collateral. There are even people who break doors and windows to enter the room and take clothes and bedding. Although most of them are harmless, just to add a moment of joy, many of them are in danger of damaging doors and windows, soiling articles and even causing bleeding, which makes everyone laugh and cry. This? Quot The custom of "fighting" has been spurned by people all over the world. Nowadays, with the improvement of people's spiritual quality, these bad behaviors have become less and less common.
Nowadays, it is more and more civilized for young people to quarrel. Some hold tea parties, with fruits, melon seeds, fruits and tea on the table, and invite neighbors, relatives, friends, classmates and colleagues to sit around and invite people to preside over them, so that the bride and groom can talk about the process of love and their thoughts and hopes for the future life. Please accompany girls and young friends to sing operas, guess puzzles and make jokes. Let everyone feel a healthy and uplifting joy and happiness in the celebration of a friend's wedding. In recent years, the relevant departments have organized young people to hold collective weddings, which are lively, decent and frugal, and are very popular among young friends. It's really a good way to change customs.
Sixth, return home visits.
When a married woman returns to her mother's home for the first time, it is commonly called "Huimen", but in ancient times it was called "mothering". The Book of Songs says, "If you hurt Han, you should go back to your parents." . Mao Zhuan said, "Ning 'an, my parents are here, so sometimes I return to Ning 'er". That is, the married daughter went home for the first time to greet her parents' well-being. Time and place are different in terms of duration. In Zhuji, on the second day of marriage, both husband and wife should bring gifts to visit their parents-in-law. On returning home, the whole family welcomed the couple. Roommates took snacks to comfort the young couple, and the father-in-law family hosted a banquet to entertain the new children. During the dinner, several elders and brothers were invited to accompany us. The elders warned the young couple to be kind and loving, to respect each other as guests and to grow old together. I urge my daughter to be a husband, a child, a thrifty housekeeper and a decent family. According to custom, the bride and groom can't go home until it's dark and they can't see the tiles clearly, but they can't spend the night at their father-in-law's house.
As soon as the wedding is over, time flies and it's spring again. Parents are going to visit their married daughter. As the saying goes, Tomb-Sweeping Day doesn't look forward to the Dragon Boat Festival, so don't be magnificent all his life. Therefore, in the old society, I attached great importance to the gift of "visiting". This one is to show parents' love for their daughter, and the other is to save face for their daughter.
Before the arrival of Tomb-Sweeping Day, my mother would grind flour into stuffing and ask someone to make Qingming fruit and Wang Nan gift fruit. Among them, the gift fruits have different shapes, many colors and great artistry, including peach fruit, sedan chair fruit, Yuanyang fruit, rice barrel fruit, pomegranate fruit, cattail fruit, etc ... They are all small and exquisite, beautifully shaped and harmonious in color, and all of them are pregnant with the symbolic meaning of happiness, well-being and sweetness. At that time, these gifts will be put together with candy, fried rice cakes, water chestnuts and sugar cane. And will be carried to the daughter's home by parents or brothers to show their thoughts and love. On the Dragon Boat Festival, the bride's family will prepare mung bean cakes, tea eggs, May peaches, Dragon Boat Festival dumplings and dozens of finely woven wheat straw fans to visit her baby daughter. Mother-in-law and daughter-in-law will distribute Qingming and Dragon Boat Festival gifts to neighbors, close relatives and friends, and even sincere greetings for living in harmony and helping each other. This custom of "looking out" is still circulating in rural areas.
After the daughter is pregnant, parents have to take chickens, ducks, eggs, sugar and baby sweaters to visit. This is called "life". The child was born, full moon, one year old, and sent to his grandparents for care and greetings. These customs belong to the category of customs and habits, and stop when they arrive.
To sum up, this is a normal marriage custom among the people in our city. Although there are differences in each township, they are generally the same. In addition, there are many special marriage customs in the old countryside, even backward customs. Such as: child bride, cousin marriage, brother-sister exchange marriage, stealing marriage, unexpected marriage, ghost marriage, canonical marriage and so on. After liberation, with the change of people's ideas, the improvement of civilization and the perfection of the legal system, these vulgar customs have disappeared. The author will write another topic without going into details.