What's the point of mourning an elderly person?

Since ancient times, mourning for the elderly has been roughly the same. But each place has its own customs. For example, in Changde, Hunan, when an elderly person is held in mourning, relatives gather around his body. Some relatives will cry for a while, and burn a few ghost coins and light a few incense sticks every now and then. After dinner, tableware is placed, filled with food and liquor, so that the old man can go on the road with enough food and drink. Starting at 8 p.m., a drum master will sing and worship. In the early morning, the master drummer will "persuad the deceased" and tell the life of the old man with sad singing. At this time, the mourning relatives feel sad and most of them suffer. After the "persuasion to die" was completed, the less experienced drummer continued his story, and the relatives cleaned up the back parts of some of the old man's underwear and put them under the old man's body to express "having a future." After all these tasks are completed, the filial piety hall is cleaned, until the old man is cremated, and the ashes are placed until dawn.

Observing mourning, also known as keeping filial piety, is the Chinese concept of the five observances. In ancient times, Chinese people had to pay tribute to the deceased and wear mourning clothes. And keeping filial piety has different values ​​for different relatives! For example, the following categories:

Son: Full body filial piety, three years.

Grandson: Full body filial piety, one year.

Great-grandson: half-length filial piety, one hundred days,

Great-great-grandson: half-length filial piety, one month.

Grandchildren after the great-great-grandson only wear mourning hats on their heads and remove them after the funeral.

Now that the fifth server has been released according to national laws, people with the same surname and the same clan can intermarry. However, in many areas, where the family is relatively large, there are still many people who follow the rules of etiquette and are not considered "Japanese". As for observing filial piety after the death of an old man, it is impossible to follow the etiquette of ancient times, but it is more or less sufficient. As long as you show filial piety to the old man while he is still alive, it is better than anything else.

In ancient Chinese culture, it is an act of filial piety. There is a certain time limit for mourning. The longer the mourning time, the more it shows the respect of the mourning parties for the deceased and their inability to bear the death of the deceased.

Observe mourning: Observe mourning

Observe mourning. [1] "Book of the Later Han·Biography of Li Gu": "Gu's disciple Runan Guo Liang... sent a letter to Yique to beg for Gu's body to be collected, but he was not allowed to do so. Because he cried when he came, he made a speech in front of him, so he stayed in mourning."

Why did Confucius believe that "if you do not observe mourning for three years, your heart will be uneasy"? Confucius talked about the reason: "A child is born for three years, and then he is free from the arms of his parents." These twelve words are exactly how we understand the Confucian theory of human nature. starting point. The deep affection that people have for their parents is originally born from specific growth experiences. Children cannot leave their parents' arms until they are three years old. Confucius's observation is actually so plain. It can be seen that great philosophy must start from plain experience. But, more importantly, his insights can address the peace and uneasiness of people's hearts.

Pay attention to the following rules during the mourning period

It is mainly the deceased who wears filial piety, men on the left and women on the right. Plain clothes should be worn during the mourning period, and filial piety should not be worn by descendants during the mourning period. Trim the face and hair. Spring couplets in the bereaved family’s home should be removed immediately. Do not enter temples or other people’s homes with your filial piety. When you go out, you can first take off your filial piety and place it next to the memorial tablet or in your clothes. When the deceased is at home, the time for worshiping rice is In the morning and evening (7 a.m. and evening), there are two meals a day, which can be compared to the meal time of the deceased. Dinner is best served in the evening, before the sun goes down. The gods should be covered with red cloth for peace of mind at home, and the incense in front of the soul needs to be continued. When the mother is dead, the mother's family must be notified, which is commonly known as "reporting death". Relatives other than maternal uncles can ask someone to report the death on their behalf.

When guests offer incense, the bereaved family should light incense and hand it to the guests. During the worship service, the bereaved family should inform the visitors and worshipers’ names and auspicious words, and then thank them and accept the incense. When the elders arrive, You should greet them with a kneeling salute.

Taboos for bereavement

(1) Production activities are taboo during the mourning period. First, funerals and loss of family members are regarded as bad omens. If they are engaged in production activities, they will harm the crops, resulting in poor harvests or even no harvests. The second is the respect for the souls of the dead. In order to commemorate the souls of the dead, production must be stopped.

(2) Generally, bereaved family members are prohibited from participating in all entertainment activities during the mourning period. You can't visit other people's homes for fear of bringing bad luck to others. In the old days, there was a taboo for mourning relatives not to enter the official family. Those who were in office had to leave the official position and stay in office for three years to fulfill their filial piety.

Clothing taboos

Avoid wearing red or colorful clothes, and white is the color of mourning.

The order of Chinese filial piety is: Zhanxu, Qixu, Dagong, Xiaogong, and Ma. The closer the blood relationship is, the heavier the mourning clothes will be, the coarser the materials and the cruder the production. This shows that mourning clothes are a form of "self-punishment" of filial piety. Self-punishment is used to express filial piety, or to pay tribute to the deceased during his or her lifetime. A sign of self-blame for failing to fulfill one's filial piety.

In the old days, it was forbidden to interfere with official affairs during the period of mourning. Even after three years, men were still forbidden to wear official uniforms and official hats, and women were forbidden to wear colorful clothes and red clothes.

During the period of mourning, filial piety and family members are prohibited from cutting hair, combing hair, shaving, and shaving their faces. It is said that this is to repay the kindness of the old man in nurturing the child by wiping feces and peeing.

The Book of Rites says: "There are six ways of obedience: one is kissing; the second is honoring; the third is name; the fourth is going in and out; the fifth is growing up and the sixth is obedience." This is Confucianism. Six principles for formulating mourning dress system.

One kinship: that is, based on the closeness and distance of the blood relationship. One principle of mourning clothes is to be self-centered and based on the relationship between closeness and distance. The closer one is to oneself, the more important the clothes will be.

Two respects: In addition to relatives, Confucians attach the most importance to respect. The first of the four systems of mourning is en (kissing relatives), and the second is principle (respecting respect). For example, if a minister serves the king, he will be cut off for three years. Even if you are your maternal grandparents, you should only wear sesame seeds, but the Mourning Clothes Chapter stipulates that you should wear Xiaogong mourning clothes, which is said to be added with respect.

Three people: Name is status. Those who are not blood relatives but have status, such as relatives by marriage or sisters-in-law, must be mourned.

Four entrances and exits: refers to the fact that after a woman or a man gets married or becomes a man, they belong to different clans, so the severity of mourning is also different.

Five ages: This refers to the age of the deceased at the time of death. If he is an elder, he will be mourned according to the general level, but if he is a minor, he will be distinguished according to the age of death, and he will be downgraded to mourn for him. If he reaches the minimum standard age, he will not be mourned.

Six obedience: This is a principle of obedience only because of the obedience of a certain relationship.

Food Taboos

Book of Rites: "On the day of mourning, one should not drink alcohol or eat meat." However, this taboo has long been corrupted among the people and is a despicable mourning custom.

During the period of mourning, it is forbidden to make sweet rice cakes during the Chinese New Year, only carrot cakes can be made. It is also taboo for mourning family members to eat rice dumplings and make red turtles.

It is forbidden for filial piety and family members to eat together with the guests who come to express their condolences.

Taboos about offering sacrifices and sweeps

Women are not allowed to go to graves to offer sacrifices and sweeps. It is believed that if a woman goes to a grave, it means there are no men in the family and no descendants. This is especially true for pregnant women, who are afraid that the undead will attack the fetus and make it difficult for the pregnant woman to give birth.

For those who have committed a crime and been sentenced and are left with physical disabilities, they are also prohibited from offering sacrifices to their parents because they "feel ashamed of their ancestors." Furthermore, there is also a fear that the souls of the dead will feel sad and sentimental when they see their descendants being tortured.

It is taboo to ask others to do the work for you when repairing or sweeping the tomb.

When people visit graves to offer sacrifices and burn paper, they usually count sevens for a period of time, with the intention of praying for the deceased to return Yang, and end with sevens and sevens.

The above is the main emphasis on traditional folk funeral customs. However, in the new society, although changes have occurred with the development of society, funeral rituals have also been reduced.

1. It is taboo to have no relatives around when passing away

In the old days, people attached great importance to passing on the family line. They believed that when an old man passed away, there must be children and grandchildren present, so that when the old man passed away, there would be someone to see him off and he would not be alone. "The old man does not have to worry about himself in the underworld, and his soul can find peace."

It is the greatest blessing if the old man dies in the presence of all his relatives. According to legend, the Bai people believe that when an old man dies in the arms of his children and grandchildren, it is the children and grandchildren who repay the kindness of raising him, which is commonly known as "receiving breath".

2. It is taboo to let the deceased go naked

In many places in the north, it is important to put on the burial clothes before the deceased dies, and the deceased cannot be allowed to leave naked. Therefore, in the old days, after the elderly reached a certain age, their children and grandchildren would often prepare shrouds for them in leap months, so that the elderly could look at them with peace of mind.

The number and texture of shrouds are very particular. The number of pieces should be odd, such as five, seven, or nine. Avoid even numbers, for fear of disaster coming again. As for the material, avoid using satin, because "satin" and "duanzi" are homophonic, and silk is often used because "silk" It has the same sound as "Chouzi", which means blessing future generations with many children; the shroud cannot be made of fur yet, for fear of turning into a beast in the next life.

3. Taboos during encoffining

1. It is taboo to shed tears on the body during encoffining.

During the burial, relatives should temporarily hold back their grief and control their tears to prevent them from spilling over the body.

2. It is taboo for cats and dogs to approach the corpse before and after burial, as it is believed that the deceased will suddenly stand upright or become a zombie.

3. Willow wood is taboo for coffins. The coffin is preferably made of pine and cypress, and willow is prohibited. Because pines and cypresses symbolize longevity, and willows that don’t bear seeds may die.

4. Taboos on reporting funerals

When a funeral home is held, white cloth and white paper should be hung on the door to let people know that someone has died in the family, and to report the funeral to cousins ​​and in-laws, and give News is sent to relatives in other places or overseas, and children go to the funeral after hearing the news. Among them, you should be especially cautious when reporting funerals to your in-laws.

When a parent passes away and the date of the funeral is determined, the filial son goes to a relative's home to report the funeral. When announcing a funeral, it is important for a filial son to kneel outside and salute before entering the house, and report the news of his parents' death and the time of the funeral to relatives.

5. Funeral date and cemetery selection

The ancients believed that the soul will not go away immediately after death. Death involves many matters, so the ancients paid special attention to the funeral date. Choose to avoid triggering a series of misfortunes.

The choice of cemetery has been very particular since ancient times. It is commonly believed that the quality of the cemetery is directly related to the wealth and misfortune of future generations. In the old days, there were ten folk songs about the taboos in choosing a cemetery: one is not to bury a rough stone, the other is not to be buried on a beach in a fast water, the third is not to be buried in a desperate ditch, the fourth is not to be buried on a lonely hilltop, the fifth is not to be buried in front of a temple or behind a temple. Six don't bury left and right prisoners, seven don't bury mountains and hills to stir up chaos, eight don't bury feng shui sadness, nine don't bury sitting down low, and ten don't bury dragons and tigers with pointed heads. Therefore, it is necessary to ask professionals to choose the date of the funeral and the cemetery with good feng shui.

6. Taboos after the burial

After the deceased is buried, the mourners should circle the tomb three times and avoid looking back on the way home to prevent the ghost of the deceased from following the deceased. People go home.

7. It is taboo to visit relatives and friends during the period of mourning

During the period of mourning, children should not visit relatives, visit friends, hold gatherings, or pay New Year greetings, and especially not go to the patient’s home to avoid causing harm to the patient. Others bring misfortune. As the saying goes, "Wear warm filial piety and do not go to the neighbor's house."

8. During the period of observing filial piety, children should avoid wearing brightly colored clothes

After the death of their parents, children must observe filial piety for their parents. In ancient times, Generally, one has to observe mourning for three years. In modern times, the time is shortened, but it should not be less than one year. During the period of observing filial piety, children are taboo to wear brightly colored clothes, heavy makeup, or drink and have fun.

Recite "Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva's Original Vow Sutra" more often and dedicate the merits of reciting the sutra to your deceased relatives and sentient beings in the Dharma Realm. Go to temples more often to do meritorious deeds in the name of your deceased relatives, help print Buddhist scriptures, and fund the construction of temples. My relatives will benefit there. Namo Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva! (Strive to go to the temple to do meritorious deeds for your loved ones within 49 days. It is the best time to save people from suffering! Study the "Ksitigarbha Bodhisattva's Original Vow Sutra" carefully)