After seven months of leaving my job and traveling, my mentality collapsed.

I resigned in June 2020. People say that it is easy for people born after 1995 to leave their jobs. I do not deny this. The people born after 1995 around me have little work experience, but they have basically left their jobs, and some have even changed jobs. Three or four jobs.

As people of our generation, we have less of the heavy life burden of our parents’ generation, more awakening of self-awareness, and living for ourselves. Although it is not a portrayal of the life of the post-95 generation, it is at least that of the post-95 generation. Dreams of life.

The reason why I left my job has something to do with this. After I left my job, I had no financial burden for the time being, and I also like hiking. Plus I had some savings. A journey that was originally expected to end in a month was like this. It turned into 7 months.

On the first stop of my resignation trip, I went to a small island less than three square kilometers in Zhoushan to work as a volunteer. The sea breeze was sometimes gentle and sometimes fierce, and the sunset was always gentle. Life was about three meals a day and the sea breeze. , watch the sunset and eat seafood.

During this period, a friend called me and asked me if I was panicking after leaving my job for so long. In fact, I had only stayed on the island for more than 20 days at that time, but for someone who lives and works step by step, it was already a time of relaxation. It’s been a long vacation.

It was fine that he didn't ask, but I suddenly panicked when I asked. My financial source was cut off, and it didn't seem to be a problem to just rest on my laurels. So, within a few days, I started doing travel photography on the island. The business was not good and I only made 700.

After more than forty days, I could no longer stay on this island, which was like a lost pearl in the ocean. Although my heart was still, it had not yet reached the state of still water.

Then I went to Gannan. Why did I decide to go to Gannan? Because I originally wanted to go to Yubenglai, but the weather forecast showed that it rained every day in Yunnan. It happened that a friend recommended Gannan to me, and I checked the weather. , Hey, the sun was shining every day, so I went.

I have been wandering around Gannan for almost 10 days. During this period, I have been dealing with mountains, lakes, grasslands and blue skies. I really didn’t expect that my wallet is getting empty. I have been out of the workplace for almost two months, so every day They are all happy in poverty. Anxiety doesn't exist.

Later I went to Chengdu, Yunnan, Xinjiang, and then stayed in Korla, Xinjiang for a week. I was frightened by the epidemic in Kashgar and returned to Gansu. I went round and round and finally returned to the starting point.

After two days in Zhangye, it was really boring, and then I became anxious again. At that time, it had been four months since I left my job, and I didn’t have a lot of savings in my hand. Moreover, for a person who had been following the routine for a long time, four months of free life seemed like a spring that had lost its elasticity. At first, I could still feel I felt the joy of being released from the tight life, but gradually I became numb looking at the mountains and rivers.

That’s right, I’m really numb. I can no longer be moved by the beautiful scenery that the general public thinks. Among the people I met who left their jobs and traveled, they also said this problem. The scenery is beautiful. Tired of it, numb. But I don’t want to go back to my original routine just yet.

So I went to Yunnan again and ran around in Yunnan for nearly three months.

I will always meet some interesting people on the road, as well as some people with a big heart. I have to say that their mentality will indeed have a great impact on me. I don’t panic anymore. I stayed in one city for about 10 days, and in that city for about 20 days. There is no special basis for judging the length of time. It just depends on what I like, but if I like him, he is also a very unreliable guy. Maybe I still like it today, but tomorrow, my mentality suddenly changes, and I feel tired of this place that I love so much, and decide to leave.

It was in such a situation where these two contradictory mentalities intertwined that I came to Weishan.

Weishan is the last stop of my seven-month resignation trip. There is nothing strange here, and there is no special beauty, but it made me feel like old friends at first sight.

I stayed in Weishan Ancient Town, ran at sunrise, went to the morning market, and then started practicing guitar. I practiced it all afternoon, practicing with the "fire stick" I bought for more than 100 yuan. My fingers were full of blood blisters and I didn’t want to stop.

My mentality during that time was very strange. On the one hand, I enjoyed the simple and peaceful life in the ancient city. On the other hand, I forced myself to find something to do, for fear that I would be completely addicted. In such a relaxed and stress-free environment, I arrange my schedule very well every day. Once I stop, my thoughts tend to wander.

As the days passed, I tried hard to adjust my mental state, but on the other hand, my inner anxiety increased day by day. Traveling, in the end, turned out to be the source of exhaustion for me.

At that time, the Chinese New Year was about ten days away, and the friends who stayed at the youth hostel all advised me to wait until the "Gold, Three, Silver, and Four" years before looking for a job, but I knew that in my state of mind at that time, , only finding a job can make me feel at ease.

Fortunately, it only took two weeks from the time I started sending my resume to finally going to an interview with a company of my choice and receiving an offer. My anxiety was greatly relieved.

Traveling after leaving your job sounds cool. You can escape from the stable comfort zone regardless of worldly opinions. You can be alone with a bag, just staring at the moon in the sky, without sixpence in your eyes, and running towards the distance without any distractions. , this is the life state that many people dream of.

However, the people I met on the road who could keep running to distant places and put family responsibilities aside were either rich or heartless. In fact, no matter from every point of view, I envy them. of.

For most ordinary people, traveling after leaving their jobs is actually not that cool. Their source of income is cut off, their savings are getting smaller and smaller, they are out of touch with society, they deceive their family members, and they don’t understand the people around them. , or even a kind reminder from a stranger that I have been idle for long enough and it’s time to find a job...it will make me anxious from time to time.

But if you ask me whether leaving my job is worth it, then I must say without hesitation that it is worth it. It is so worth it. The kind of person who can purely accept the kindness of strangers and feel the connection between people. There is no routine in communication. If you like you, stay with you for a while. If you don't, just stay away. It feels great to not have to accommodate others at all. No matter who you are talking to at the youth hostel, there is always something to talk about. Asking where you have been, the same topics will flow like a faucet.

The mountains, rivers, lakes and seas healed me when I saw the beautiful scenery, but the stories that happened during the trip still make my heart warm to this day.