Wei Zi's faithful servant

People often ask me how to communicate with rebellious teenagers. No matter how much parents love their children, they always get angry.

Just be angry. The most painful thing is to blame yourself after scolding the child.

What I want to ask is, why not get angry? Why should you feel guilty when you are angry?

Anger is also a healthy reminder. Being angry means you have something on your mind. Parents are human beings and have their own problems and emotions. You have to accept that you have something on your mind before you think about how to deal with it. If parents can't get angry, it's unhealthy.

However, I still have to tell the truth. Anger to explosion, despair to attack, shooting, and spreading to others (like bitching at the street) are all caused by depression for too long.

From my experience (bitter lesson), now I always let my children know what I care about most. Take time to agree on the boundaries between us. When a child steps on a mine and the insurmountable point is about to explode, I will remind the child:

Of course, children get angry as soon as they communicate with each other, which is accumulated from long-term "not wanting to listen" and "not listening". You have to find your own balance again and make some new agreements.

My children are all in high school, even in college. To tell the truth, I am seldom angry with children now. I joked with two children and said, "Mom is your faithful servant. 」

Hehe, everyone has seen the loyal minister in the anime film! Not a slave of cattle and horses, but a loyal servant who never gives up.

If you regard yourself as a child's slave, it must be very hard and there will be many complaints and grievances. Think of yourself as a loyal servant of your child. When you change your mind, you will sublimate into a willing and never-say-die partner.

Why not be your child's friend or teacher, but your child's "loyal servant"? That's because loyal servants don't want to get any love and sense of accomplishment, but want to protect their masters, which is a sacred task.

Yes, I am a loyal servant of two children. I've protected them all my life. An old loyal servant has spent his whole life. This picture is pretty good.

Think about it. Aren't the old loyal servants of anime movies all loyal and wise? Because it is good for the host, you naturally don't want to be angry with the host. I want to break my head when I encounter problems just to protect my master and help him through the crisis. Besides, I don't want to do anything. This is also my way of adjustment. )

& lt This column reflects experts' opinions and does not represent our position >

● Huang Shuwen (osmanthus tree) Facebook and blog

● More book information/"Mom can be herself, and children can be themselves" and "Living in love"