Why is it difficult for girls from poor families to marry well?
Why is it difficult for girls from poor families to marry well?
Why is it difficult for girls from poor families to marry well. Many people say that this is a society where material flows everywhere, and feelings seem to be worthless. After all, love is different from marriage. Marriage is like full of smoke and white rice. Let’s take a look at why it is difficult for girls from poor families to marry. Why is it difficult for girls from poor families to marry well 1
1. Marriage is a matter between two families.
My parents always value being well-matched. This is not just snobbishness, but a mismatch in the physical environment of the two people. The differences in life will be great, and marriages are prone to conflicts. On the other hand, the man's parents certainly don't want his future daughter-in-law to have a good family background, just like a girl wants to marry a boy with a good family background. Don’t treat marriage as poverty alleviation.
Parents with a certain family background do not agree with their son finding a girl from a poor family. Naturally, they do not want their son to have to support his mother-in-law's family after marriage.
It is okay for a girl from a poor family to find a boy from a slightly better family, but not if the gap is too big. First of all, the man's parents will obstruct it. Secondly, even if they get married reluctantly, they will not be respected by the man's family, and their natal family will also be looked down upon. .
2. The opportunities to meet good men are very limited
The circle is very important. Girls from poor families have not been able to enter the circle of outstanding and wealthy people since they were young. The people they know are all from the well, and they still have no men outside the circle through the introduction of relatives and friends. Some girls are very beautiful, but it's still useless if they don't get access to good and rich men.
Even if you are lucky enough to meet some boys from wealthy families, it will be difficult for you to get along in that circle. It is difficult to easily possess the temperament cultivated by the hard environment. As the saying goes, once you enter a wealthy family, you are as deep as the sea.
What should girls from poor families do?
1. Improve yourself
Your own quality can make up for the shortcomings of your family. The marriage and love market is real. If you have shortcomings, you have to find other strong points to make up for it. A person's own position determines the scenery she sees. If she wants to see a good scenery, climb to a good position. How good you are, how good a man you can meet. You can also have a wonderful life with an excellent man with excellent potential.
2. Rely on yourself
Do not rely on men or marriage. A woman can still live a wonderful life even without a man in her life. It is much better to work hard on her own than to rely on a man. She can complete herself without waiting for a man to come to her rescue. It’s better to have it yourself than anyone else. If you don't earn it yourself, you may be able to spend it, but it will be difficult for you to support your natal family. Of course, girls from poor families also hope to help their parents and hope that their parents will have a good old life. At this time, it will be even more difficult for them to take their husband's money back to their parents' home.
Marriage is not a guarantee for life, and marriage is not about handing in an answer sheet. As for the future, everything is possible. Nothing else can guarantee a lifetime. The most reliable thing is your own ability, finances, knowledge, etc. A man who loves you will change his mind. He has the final say whether his husband will give you money or not, but he has the final say on the money he earns. Why is it difficult for girls from poor families to marry well 2
Girls from poor families need to achieve three "persistences"
1: Persistence in studying
The origin of the family is getting better No, the more you have to keep reading. There is an old saying: One is fate, two is luck, three is feng shui, four is accumulation of yin virtue, and five is reading. If your skills are not good when you are reincarnated, you have not been cast into a good family, you have a bad fate, and you lack luck. There is no smoke coming out of your ancestral graves, and your parents have no karmic virtues. Therefore, if you want to change your destiny, the fastest way is to study.
Female principal Zhang Guimei said: "Studying is very important for girls in impoverished mountainous areas. Only by studying can they get out."
The prototype of the heroine of the movie "Storm on the Road to Harvard" is Liz More Here, he was born in poverty, his parents were drug addicts, and he lived in the dirtiest and messiest environment.
She persisted in studying hard and completed the four-year high school course in two years. She successfully won a high scholarship from the New York Times and was able to successfully enter Harvard University for further study and get rid of the life in the gutter.
It is not our fault that our original family is not good. We are born as human beings and we do not need to apologize. After all, it is not our choice. But we can change our living environment and status through our own efforts and welcome A new life.
Therefore, you must read more. Reading can make you unwilling to be at the bottom and make you determined.
Two: Insist on independence
For a long time, influenced by the decadent thought of favoring boys over girls, many families have this concept. They believe that girls do not need to be cultivated, and they will be married in the future. Can live a good life. After all, when you get married, you belong to someone else's family. Why should you lose money to teach? Why not train your own son well so that you can provide for yourself in the future.
Because of this kind of thinking, many girls have formed the concept of placing their hopes and happiness on men.
They cannot think independently, cannot live independently, and are not independent mentally. They think that they can’t survive without men, they can’t live.
The love they could not get in their original families prayed to be found in other men.
The movie "The Life of the Disliked Matsuko" is the best example. As the eldest daughter in the family, Songzi did not have a happy childhood.
Her sister Jiumei was born with a disease and was bedridden for a long time, unable to live like a normal person.
The father is worried that his little daughter does not know how long she will live, and is often depressed and embarrassed. Whenever Songzi thought that the gift her father brought home was for herself, she was disappointed. It was from her father to her sister.
Whenever Songzi wanted to get her father's attention and love, her father refused to look at her and hurriedly went to take care of her sister.
Songzi, who could never really get his father's love, broke out completely, left the family and lost his job. In order to survive, she suffered domestic violence from her boyfriend who was a down-and-out writer, but she never left her. After being abandoned by a married man, she became a bathroom girl. She was defrauded of money and sex by a soft-boiled man, and she killed him by mistake. I wanted to commit suicide to save my life, but I met a man with a haircut and thought this was true love.
After being in prison for many years, I came out thinking I could stay with the man who had a haircut, but I found that he already had a wife and children.
Her life has never been warm for a long time. She has never been truly independent. Without a man, she seems to have lost herself.
When the gangster student confessed to her, she could have refused, but she still compromised. For the sake of love, she lost herself again.
In the end, her gangster boyfriend was arrested and sent to jail. She has been waiting silently for him to come out and spend the rest of her life with him. Who would have thought that the gangster would break up with her decisively after he came out, leaving Songzi completely confused and desperate.
She has never lived for herself in her life. As long as others give her a little sweetness, she thinks she has the best honey in the world.
Her sorrow may be caused by her family of origin, but I think that as an adult, she still does not repent after encountering scumbag men many times, because she cannot be independent in her own thoughts, personality and spirit. .
How can a woman who doesn’t even love herself expect others to love you?
This is why in real life, so many girls encounter scumbag men. They always think that their happiness and future are provided and created by men.
The greater the hope, the greater the disappointment.
Three: Persevere in faith
Many people in life have no faith, and they do not believe that the future will be better.
Bai Yansong once said: "Having faith does not necessarily mean happiness, but not having faith does not necessarily mean happiness."
Some people believe in God and Buddhism, some believe in money, and some believe in themselves.
No matter what you believe in, it is much better than someone who believes in nothing.
People must have faith and believe that they can change their destiny and current situation through their own efforts.
Faith is a force that spurs you on to move forward.
Su Mingyu in "Everything Is Fine" is very religious. After she left her original family and the influence of her mother, she firmly believed that she could live a good life on her own and would definitely have a beautiful life. future.
As a result, she did it.
Not only did she do it, but she was the best among the three siblings, even better than her eldest brother who studied abroad.
Even the eldest brother was unemployed, but he only found a job because of Su Mingyu's relationship.
We ordinary people may not be as good as Su Mingyu, but she is our example of struggle and learning, and what we must learn is her spirit.
Consider her a role model and a belief in your heart. Everyone must have an idol to drive themselves forward. Why is it difficult for girls from poor families to marry well 3
How girls from poor families can change their destiny
1. First of all, we should be proactive. We should work hard at all times. Work hard to make yourself more developed.
2. To be able to seize opportunities, we sometimes don’t know how to cherish the opportunities in front of us and always like to live a comfortable life.
3. You must be able to endure hardship. If you want to succeed, you must endure hardship. Therefore, you cannot expect pie to fall from the sky. You have to work hard to earn it.
4. Learn more cultural knowledge. We all know that knowledge changes destiny, so we must let ourselves master more knowledge.
5. Be yourself. Sometimes character is more important. As long as we have good character, we will definitely make our life bright.