Differences and connections between modern etiquette and ancient etiquette

In ancient China, there was a saying of "Five Rites", in which the sacrificial ceremony was auspicious, the wedding ceremony was a gift, the guest ceremony was a guest ceremony, the military ceremony was a military ceremony, and the funeral ceremony was a fierce ceremony. The content of the Five Rites is quite extensive, ranging from the sacrificial rites that reflect the relationship between man and heaven, earth and ghosts and gods to the communicative rites that reflect interpersonal relationships among families, relatives and friends, monarch and ministers. From the crowning, marriage, funeral and burial ceremonies that show the course of life, to the celebrations, condolences, condolences and pensions expressed by people during celebrations, disasters and funerals, it can be said that it is all-encompassing, which fully reflects the spirit of courtesy of the ancient Chinese nation. Jili is the hand of five rites, which is mainly a ritual ceremony for gods, earthly gods and ghosts. Its main contents can include three aspects. The first is to worship the god of heaven, that is, to worship the god of heaven; Sacrifice the sun, moon and stars; Sacrifice the middle school, the life, the wind teacher, the rain teacher, etc. The second is to worship the land, that is, to worship the country, the five emperors and the five mountains; Sacrifice mountain forest Kawasawa; Sacrifice everything, etc. The third is offering sacrifices to people and ghosts, mainly for enjoying the sacrifices to the first king and ancestors in spring, summer, autumn and winter. Fierce rites are the rites of mourning, condolence and worry. Its main contents are as follows: mourning for death, mourning for district ceremonies, mourning for disaster, mourning for defeat, and mourning for chaos. Among them, the funeral is the death of people with different relationships, which expresses different degrees of going north through the mourning process at a specified time; Famine ceremony is the unfortunate experience of a certain region or a certain country suffering from famine and plague, and the king and his ministers take measures such as reducing meals and stopping entertainment to express sympathy; Hanging ceremony is a kind of etiquette to express condolences to allies or friends in case of death or fire and water disasters. These three kinds of etiquette can be held by nobles at all levels. The ritual is that one of the allies is invaded by the enemy, and the urban and rural areas are broken. The allies should meet with other countries to raise money and goods to compensate for their losses. Compassion means that a country suffers from foreign aggression or civil strife, and its neighboring countries should give assistance and support. The guest gift is a gift for receiving guests. It mainly includes eight aspects: worship, religion, pilgrimage, encounter, meeting, agreement, questioning and viewing. During the military ceremony, the division and brigade performed and conquered, and the military ceremony mainly included the master's ceremony, the grand marshal's ceremony, the field ceremony, the great battle ceremony and the big seal ceremony. The ceremony of the master is the ceremony of the army's conquest; The ceremony of "Great Equalization" is that the king and the vassal hold a military review when they equalize the land and collect taxes to appease the people. The ceremony of Daejeon is the regular hunting of the emperor to practice the battle and review the military horses; The ceremony of great service is a team review during large-scale civil engineering such as building cities, palaces, rivers and dikes initiated by the state; The ceremony of sealing is an activity to survey the boundaries between countries, private fiefs and fiefs, and to set up boundary markers. Gift is the etiquette of interpersonal relationship, communication and contact feelings. The main contents of the gift include the gift of diet, the gift of wedding crown, the gift of guest shooting, the gift of Yan, the gift of relief and the gift of He Qingzhi.

Folklore believes that etiquette includes four kinds of life etiquette: birth, crown, marriage and funeral. In fact, etiquette can be divided into politics and life. Politics includes offering sacrifices to heaven, places and ancestral temples, offering sacrifices to teachers and sages, respecting teachers' hometown drinking ceremony, meeting ceremony, military ceremony and so on. According to Xunzi, the origin of life etiquette is "three books", that is, "the foundation of heaven and earth", "the foundation of ancestors" and "the foundation of governing by teachers". In etiquette, the funeral is the earliest. Funeral for the dead is to appease their ghosts, while for the living, it becomes a etiquette to respect the young and the old, to be filial and to be virtuous. In the process of the establishment and implementation of etiquette, China's patriarchal clan system (see China's patriarchal clan system) was born. The essence of etiquette is the way of governing people and the derivative of the belief in ghosts and gods. People think that everything is manipulated by invisible ghosts and gods, and performing etiquette is to please ghosts and gods for happiness. Therefore, etiquette originated from the belief in ghosts and gods, and it is also a special embodiment of the belief in ghosts and gods. The appearance of "Three Rites" (Yili, Liji and Zhouli) marks the mature stage of etiquette development. In the Song Dynasty, etiquette and feudal ethics and moral preaching were combined, that is, etiquette and ethics were mixed, which became one of the effective tools to implement ethics. Salute serves to persuade morality, and red tape does its best. It was not until modern times that the etiquette was truly reformed, and both the etiquette of national political life and the etiquette of people's life changed into the new content of the theory of non-ghosts, thus becoming the etiquette of modern civilization.

Ancient political etiquette

1. Sacrifice to heaven. The worship of heaven, which began in the Zhou Dynasty, is also called suburban sacrifice. On the day of the winter solstice, it is held in the southern suburbs of the capital. The ancients first paid attention to the worship of the entity, and the worship of the sky was also reflected in the worship of the moon and the stars. All these specific worship, after reaching a certain number, are abstracted as worship of heaven. The worship of heaven in the Zhou Dynasty developed from the worship of "emperor" in the Yin Dynasty. The supreme ruler was the son of heaven, and the worship of heaven served the supreme ruler. Therefore, the prevalence of worship of heaven did not come to an end until the Qing Dynasty.

2. Sacrifice the land. The summer solstice is the day of offering sacrifices to the earth, and the etiquette is roughly the same as that of offering sacrifices to heaven. The Han Dynasty called the Earth God Mother, saying that she was the goddess who blessed mankind, also called the social god. The earliest place of worship was blood sacrifice. After the Han Dynasty, the belief in geomantic omen was prevalent. The rituals of offering sacrifices to the land include offering sacrifices to mountains and rivers, offering sacrifices to the earth gods, the valley gods and the country.

3. Sacrifice to the ancestral temple. The ancestral temple system is the product of ancestor worship. The ancestral temple is a sojourning place that people set up for the dead in the dead. The imperial ancestral temple system is seven temples for emperors, five temples for princes, three temples for doctors and one temple for scholars. No temples are allowed in Shu Ren. The location of the ancestral temple, the son of heaven and the vassal are located on the left side of the door, while the doctor sleeps on the left and right side of the temple. The common people set up the ancestral shrine next to the kitchen hall in the dormitory. When offering sacrifices, it is necessary to choose the corpse. Corpses are generally served by grandchildren and children. The god in the temple is a wooden cuboid, which is placed only when offering sacrifices. Sacrifices cannot be called by their first names. When offering sacrifices, there are nine worships: kowtow, nod, empty bow, vibration, auspicious worship, fierce worship, strange worship, praise worship and su worship. Ancestral temples also offer sacrifices to the first generation of emperors. According to the Book of Rites Quli, all the first emperors who made meritorious service to the people, such as Di Ku, Yao, Shun, Yu, Huangdi, King Wen and King Wu, should offer sacrifices. Since the Han Dynasty, cemeteries and shrines have been built to worship the emperors of the previous generation. Ming Taizu, on the other hand, founded the Imperial Temple in Kyoto. During Jiajing period, emperors' temples were built in Fuchengmen, Beijing, to offer sacrifices to the first king, the 36th emperor.

4. Sacrifice to the teachers and sages. After the Han and Wei Dynasties, Duke Zhou was the sage and Confucius was the teacher. In the Tang Dynasty, Confucius was regarded as the sage and Yan Hui as the teacher. After the Tang and Song Dynasties, the ritual of "releasing the libation" has been used as a learning ceremony and also as a ceremony to worship Confucius. During the Northern and Southern Dynasties, the ritual of releasing the libation was held twice a year in the spring and autumn, and temples of Confucius and Yan were also set up in county schools around the country. In the Ming Dynasty, Confucius was called "the most holy teacher". In the Qing Dynasty, Shengjing (Shenyang, Liaoning Province) set up a Confucius Temple. After making Beijing its capital, imperial academy, the capital of the capital, was chosen as the Imperial College to set up a Confucian Temple. Confucius called it "the forerunner of Dacheng to Shengwen Xuan". The temple system, sacrificial vessels, musical instruments and etiquette in Qufu are based on Beijing Imperial College. Rural drinking ceremony is the product of offering sacrifices to the sages.

5. Meeting ceremony. When the subordinates visit their superiors, they should pay homage to each other, and the officials should pay homage to each other. When they meet, the public, the marquis and Xu Ma should pay tribute twice. The subordinates should pay homage in the west first, and the superiors should pay homage in the east. When civilians meet, they salute the young and the old, and the young salute. Say goodbye to the four worships outside, and pay homage near.

6. military salute. Including conquest, taxation, hunting, construction, etc.

Ancient life etiquette ① Birthday ceremony. From a woman's seeking for a child when she is not pregnant to a baby's first birthday, all etiquette revolves around the theme of long life. The sacrifice of Gao Shu is the begging etiquette. At this time, the altar was set up in the southern suburbs, and all the empresses and concubines participated. In the Han and Wei Dynasties, there was a sacrifice of Gao Qi. In the Tang and Song Dynasties, the ritual of worshipping Gao Qi was formulated. In the Jin Dynasty, Gao Qi offered a sacrifice to Qing Di, and a wooden square platform was built in the north of Yong 'anmen in the east of the imperial city, under which Gao Qi was placed. In the Qing Dynasty, there was no sacrifice of Gao Qi, but there was a ceremony of "changing the rope" with the same meaning. Birthday ceremonies have a tendency to prefer sons to daughters since ancient times. Birthday ceremonies also include "Three Dynasties", "Full Moon", "Hundred Days" and "One Year". The "Three Dynasties" are the three days after the baby was born. The "full moon" shaves fetal hair when the baby is one month old. During the "Hundred Days" ceremony, the uncle was recognized and named. When you are "one-year-old", you should grasp the rites of the week to predict the fate and career of children. The rite of passage, also known as the coronation ceremony, is a ceremony for men to crown when they enter the ranks of adults. The crown ceremony evolved from the bar mitzvah ceremony attended by young men and women who were popular in clan society when they were mature. The Han dynasty followed the crown ceremony system of the Zhou dynasty. In Wei and Jin Dynasties, Jiaguan began to accompany with music. Crown ceremony was practiced in Tang, Song, Yuan and Ming Dynasties and abolished in Qing Dynasty. Many ethnic minority areas in China still have ancient rite of passage, such as tooth extraction, tooth dyeing, wearing skirts, trousers and bun. (3) Yan's eating etiquette. Dining is held in the ancestral temple, cooking is too firm to drink guests, and the focus is on etiquette rather than diet. Yan is the banquet, and the ceremony is held in the bedroom, so the guests and guests can drink heartily. Yan Li has a far-reaching influence on the formation of food culture in China. Festive banquets have formed festive food etiquette in China's folk food customs. Eating Yuanxiao on the 15th day of the first month, eating cold rice and food in Tomb-Sweeping Day, zongzi and realgar wine in Duanyang in May, Mid-Autumn moon cakes, Laba porridge, and jiaozi's resignation are all festive rituals. Eating certain foods on certain festivals is also a kind of food etiquette. Seating at the banquet, the order of serving, the etiquette of persuading wine and toasting all have the requirements of men and women, the relationship between seniority and seniority, and the taboo of praying. 4 guest gifts. Mainly for the reception of guests. There are different levels of gift etiquette with guests. When the scholars meet, the guests should take the pheasant as the guide when they see the master; When the doctor meets, take the geese as the basket; When you meet the doctor, you should take the lamb as the basket. ⑤ Five sacrifices. Refers to the door, door, well, stove and middle room. In the Zhou Dynasty, households were worshipped in spring, stoves in summer, wandering in June, doors in autumn and wells in winter. During the Han and Wei Dynasties, five sacrifices were made according to seasons, and in March of Meng Dong, there was a total sacrifice. In the Tang, Song and Yuan Dynasties, the theory of "Seven Sacrifices to the Emperor of Heaven" was adopted, and Si Ming (a minor god in the palace), Zhong Guo, Guo Hang, Tai Li (a wild ghost), Hu and Zao were worshipped. In Ming and Qing Dynasties, there were still five sacrifices. After Kangxi in Qing Dynasty, the special sacrifices of doors, households, middle schools and wells were abandoned, and the stoves were sacrificed only on December 23rd, which was consistent with the folk story that the kitchen god told the sky on the 24th of the twelfth lunar month. The national sacrifice ceremony adopted a folk form. 6 Nuo instrument. Originated in prehistoric times, it prevailed in Shang and Zhou Dynasties. Nuo ceremony in Zhou Dynasty is to drive away evil spirits and epidemics in four seasons. Zhou people think that the operation of nature is closely related to the good or bad luck of personnel. With the change of seasons, the variation of cold and heat, the epidemic of plague and ghosts taking advantage of the situation, it is necessary to mourn at the right time to drive away evil. The main god in Nuo instrument is Fang Xiangshi. In the Han Dynasty, twelve beasts matched Fang Xiangshi appeared in Nuo ceremonies. The Wei, Jin, Southern and Northern Dynasties, Sui and Tang Dynasties followed the Han system, and entertainment elements were added to Nuo ceremonies, in which Fang Xiangshi and the twelve beasts were played by musicians. Up to now, the Nuo ceremony of Tujia nationality in Guizhou is the most complete and typical.

Etiquette at the dinner table

Dong Wenshen

The culture at the dinner table is the popular name of "drinking culture". In old Beijing, under the influence of society, economy, habits and environment, different families have formed their own dining table culture. Many families have "family banquet", "guest banquet" and "informal banquet" in the way of dining-family banquet refers to the banquet set by the family for their own festivals and various festive activities; Guest banquet is a banquet for relatives and friends; A potluck is a common occurrence. All kinds of etiquette at the dinner table in old Beijing are very particular, which gradually reflects the values of old Beijing in the long years, and consciously or unconsciously constructs a dinner table culture with "courtesy", "filial piety", "virtue" and "teaching" as its contents.

"Li" refers to the etiquette and manners of drinking. It reflects the etiquette, ceremony and personal courtesy requirements formed by the family's moral concepts and customs. Family banquets and informal banquets should be based on "long" (parents and elders), while guest banquets should be based on "guests". Therefore, many rules have been formed to bind family members, especially children.

there are two kinds of ceremonies: formal ceremony and service ceremony. Formal ceremony refers to the ceremony embodied in the form and atmosphere of etiquette, such as the choice of banquet place, the grade of etiquette, the creation of environment and the preparation of utensils, all of which should reflect a kind of respect for guests. Courtesy refers to the etiquette of entertaining and serving guests. For example, the seating arrangement of banquets is based on the principle of long-term, teacher-oriented and far-oriented, that is, seats are arranged according to seniority, tutors should be given priority, relatives and friends from afar should be given priority, and relatives and friends from poor families should be treated with extra care. The host should spend more time communicating with them during the dinner, make more toasts, and consciously introduce their "unique skills" to the guests. At the same time, the housekeeper and servants are strictly required not to treat these people slowly.

Although there are differences in food types, quality grades and restaurant choices depending on the identity of the guests and the characteristics of etiquette and customs, guests should never be allowed to pick out "no". Etiquette should be paid attention to in the whole process of greeting, toasting, talking, dining and resignation.

before the banquet, the host should introduce the important guests to everyone and give a concise and warm greeting; When opening a banquet, the host should personally pour wine and propose a toast to the elders and guests in order, which cannot be forced; Take the initiative to drink for the guests who are not good at drinking, and pay tribute to the guests; When offering food to guests, we should pay attention to their eating habits, not many times and not large quantities, otherwise it will embarrass the guests; The host should pay attention to the universality of mutual communication during the dinner, not to be hot and cold, and if there are female guests, pay more attention to the content of the conversation and respect for the female guests; The host can't put down the bowls and chopsticks before the guests, and can't leave the banquet until the guests say that they have eaten well; The host should accompany the guest of honor, rinse his mouth and clean his hands before going to another seat for tea.

When cooking in a large family, the chef is required not to have food stains around the plate when serving. When serving, the plate and bowl should be served with both hands, and fingers should not be scratched on the edge of the plate and bowl. Fill rice and soup, not too full when pouring tea, but full when pouring wine, but not overflowing; The action of pouring tea should be standardized, and it is forbidden to buckle the bowl cover on the table with the teapot mouth facing the guests; Take a step back and then turn away after pouring tea; When serving cigarettes to guests, you should serve them on a plate. Don't hand out cigarettes, light several people with a match, blow out matches with your mouth and throw away match stalks at will, sweep the floor and dust the table in front of guests, and especially don't spill tea on the ground.

In addition, in front of the guests, the host can't scold the children and servants; If there is a dispute between the host and the guest's children, the host should take his children away. No matter who is right or wrong, he should apologize to the other party, but he should not teach his children in front of the guests, otherwise the guests will feel uncomfortable.

children are generally not allowed to attend the banquet. I remember when I was a child, I asked my children to be polite, polite and educated. There are three things that are not allowed: no noise and chopsticks knocking at the table, no smacking and no false respect. The second grandmother said that it was disgusting to hear the sound of squeaking at dinner, and it was unbearable to show humility at dinner. And let the children who choke and burp continuously take the initiative to get off the table, and don't drag the chairs and stools to avoid making harsh sounds. This is the requirement of not making any noise; Second, it is forbidden to "lower your mouth". Children are not allowed to pick up food first without their elders moving chopsticks. They are not allowed to fill their mouths. They are not allowed to gobble up food. They are not allowed to stand up and pick up food that they can't reach. They are not allowed to use chopsticks to pick and rummage in the dish tray. They are not allowed to stare at the food on the table with their eyes while eating. They are not allowed to point at people with chopsticks. They are not allowed to throw things that they don't like and their mouths are filthy. The most taboo thing is that children insert chopsticks directly into their rice bowls; Third, children are absolutely not allowed to drink. At that time, the two grandmothers liked to have fun with the children, play some games at the dinner table, and give a show if they lost. After dinner, they had to let the children see who had the cleanest rice bowl and desktop, and the warm atmosphere at the dinner was very strong.

During the "filial piety" family banquet, we should pay attention to respecting the elders and being filial.

when I was a child, my eldest grandmother sat down with my second grandmother.