Humorous jokes of short messages

Humorous jokes about SMS

Introduction: In modern society, mobile phones have gradually occupied people's lives, and SMS has become one of the main tools for people to communicate with each other. SMS jokes have also become one of the toners in people's lives. The following is a selection of short message jokes I brought to you. I hope you like them.

1. The unit is a big tree crawling with monkeys. Looking up is full of buttocks, looking down is full of smiles, and looking left and right is full of eyes and ears! ! !

2. You were lying across the theater, occupying four seats. When someone told you to get up, you only did me a favor twice. The security guard came and said, I hate it ~ brother, which way is it? You gritted your teeth and said, I fell down the aisle upstairs!

3. Patient: I have insomnia. Doctor: these pills, red makes you dream of Dehua; White dreams of Allen; Green dreams of moistening hair. Patient: What about taking it all? Doctor: Then you can see Guo Rong.

4. A college student was caught by the enemy. The enemy tied him to a telephone pole and asked him, Say, where are you from? I'll electrocute you if you don't tell me! The college student replied to the enemy's words and was electrocuted. He said, I am from RTVU!

5. I heard that you were surrounded and beaten by eight thieves that day, but you were not knocked down. What a kung fu? Later, I learned that you were tied to a tree. Ha ha!

6. I have a request: invite me to dinner. I hope you can satisfy me. Otherwise, I will write your mobile phone number on the wall, and add two words in front of it: apply for a certificate. Please treat me well, or I'll write a marriage proposal, with unlimited conditions!

7. I heard that your mobile phone has no short message function, so I sent this short message to try. If you receive it, it is confirmed that there is a short message function and it is not from me, please reply to me: I have it, it is yours!

8. I asked my boss for a week off to decorate my house in jane doe. After a week, the house was not renovated, so we had to send a telegram to renew our leave. The boss was shocked when he received the telegram! The telegram said: I have not finished my sexual intercourse, so I will take a week off.

9. Weather forecast: I miss you a little from tonight to tomorrow morning. It is expected that I will miss you continuously in the afternoon. Due to the prolonged low mood, I will turn into a big dream in the evening, and my mood will be reduced by five degrees. It is expected that this kind of weather will last until I see you.

1. A: "The new neighbor is so hateful that he came in the middle of the night last night and slammed my doorbell. B: Did you call the police? "a:" no. I think they are crazy and continue to play my trumpet.

11. Soon after dating, a man and a woman announced their marriage. At the wedding ceremony, people asked why they were getting married so soon. The man replied:? I figured it out. ? The woman replied:? Get over it. ?

12. The teacher is doing a family survey. He asks Xiaoqiang: Do you have a brother? I saw Xiaoqiang's head bend down towards his crotch with great difficulty? After a while: teacher, I really can't kiss!

13. When you read this short message, you have been poisoned by love. The only antidote is to marry me. Forget it. Let's get married!

14. When Pig meets the old moon, he asks, Shit! Yue Lao! Why did you separate me from Gao Jia Yulan? Yue Laodao: She's a human being, and you're a demon. I'm afraid your child will be a shemale.

15. Jianghu people know that you are skilled in martial arts, but you can't be proud. If you do this, you will no longer be a man, but a sword man! Sword man! Sword man!

16. The young couple quarreled and threw a pillow from upstairs. It happened that a beggar passed by and was very happy. A moment later, another quilt flew down, and the beggar was ecstatic. So he wiped his tears and shouted to the upstairs: big brother, be kind and throw that woman down!

17. When the vampire bat came back covered in blood, the bats were envious. They asked him where he got so much blood. He took the bats to a big tree and asked, Have you seen the big tree? Answer: Yes. It: he * *, I didn't see it.

18. Before eating peanuts, a monkey should put it in his ass before taking it out. The administrator explained: Someone once fed it peaches, but the peach core couldn't be pulled out. The monkey was scared. Now it must be measured before eating.

19. A man has a thick and big neck and has no choice but to seek medical treatment. The doctor asked why? Male answer:? Last night, I had sex with my wife, took two aphrodisiacs and got stuck in my throat. ?

2. If you shed tears, I would like to be toilet paper in your hand; If you wake up, I would like to be the excrement in your eyes; If you are hot to death, I would like to be the only cloth left on you.

21. Dear users: As most of your short messages are sent to the opposite sex, which has a very bad influence on the society, we have suspended your short message function. Please bring your small bench to the nearby police station tomorrow to learn your style knowledge!

22. One day, when you were walking in the street, you were stopped and called you ugly, but you denied it and were beaten up: hypocrisy! ! The next day, I was stopped and called you ugly. You admitted that you were beaten: you are not modest! ! On the third day, I was stopped again, afraid to respond, and I was beaten even worse: ugly is still so embarrassing! !

23. I took a taxi with my friends to meet my net friend, and I saw a big dinosaur waiting at the appointed place far away. A friend patted the driver on the shoulder: See that woman in front? Oh, drive over and kill her?

24. Mouse's dream: drag all the cats into the hole and kill them. Crow's protest: are we the black ones in the world? Wolf's plan: get a sheepskin and put it on tomorrow. What about you?

25. I want to be an emperor, and I am afraid of wordiness; Want to be an official, afraid of many things; Want to eat, afraid to brush the pot; I really want to beat you up, but I'm afraid of getting into trouble.

26. Men are afraid of four things: being afraid of a young lady's illness, being afraid of a lover's pregnancy, writing letters from the masses, and being afraid of a wife's self-criticism. What are you afraid of?

27. Warning: Your mobile phone has undergone a violent internal change due to overload, and it is about to explode. Please leave it in an empty place immediately after reading this prompt?

28. The left eye flies out to attract your attention; My right eye flies out and I have love for you; When the left eye is closed, it is sweet; As soon as my right eye is closed, I am interested; As soon as your eyes are closed, you can do whatever you like!

29. My female colleague received 99 roses, looked at them for a long time and suddenly asked me:? Do you know what rose sauce does?

3. I have such a female companion: if she reports that she didn't eat, I will feel hungry.

31. Time and tide wait for no man, especially when the two places are separated after love like me.

32. What is love in the world? It's just that men and women extend each other.

33. After the introduction of the new marriage law, my female partner said to me: Since the house has no share for me, then I have no share for you!

34. I can't see the true face of Lushan Mountain, but I cover my eyes with heavy makeup.

35. Love is like a bath water. It will get cold after a long time. Even if you don't care about the water temperature, your skin will wrinkle after soaking for a long time.

36. I always have you in my heart, but the proportion has changed.

37. If you don't be my female companion in this life, I will be your son in the next life. See if I don't tire you out?

38. The blender stirs away my youth, the excavator digs away my dream, the roller crushes my hope, and the welding machine can't sew up my sorrow!

39. Every time the dart and target are evacuated, it is to be able to return to the bull's-eye again!

4. Is there a girl named? Arctic girl? It's as cold as ice and as attractive as a magnet.

41. Romance is a beautiful tourist destination, but it is not a place to stay at home every day.

42. If you walk, you will be scattered, and your memories will fade; Looking at it, you are tired and the stars are dim; Listening, I woke up and began to complain; Turn around and find you, gone, and suddenly I'm confused?

43. Wukong drew a circle, and the Tang Priest was safe. Xiaoping drew a circle and Shenzhen became rich. You drew a circle and you wet the bed again.

44. How to make leaders bow to you? Actually, it's very simple. Send him a message!