Ask for some China jokes.
Three years ago (496 BC), Gou Jian heard that Fu Cha, the king of Wu, was training day and night, and he wanted to retaliate against Yue, so he planned to attack Wu before sending his troops. Fan Li remonstrated: "No, I heard that weapons are killing weapons, and it is against morality to attack and fight first." Conspiracy to do immoral things, love to use weapons, and personally participate in inferior things will definitely be opposed by the Emperor of Heaven. This is definitely not good. King Yue said, "I have made my decision." So Banshi marched into Wu. After hearing the news, the king of Wu used the national elite troops to meet the Vietnamese army and defeated the Vietnamese army in Fujiao. The King of Yue only assembled 5,000 beaten troops to retreat to Huiji. The prince of Wu pursued the victory and surrounded Huiji.
The King of Yue said to Fan Li, "I don't listen to your advice. What should I do?" Fan Li replied: "those who can completely maintain their achievements will certainly follow the example of natural surplus without overflowing;" Those who can pacify the overthrow must know that human beings advocate humility; Those who can control their own affairs will follow the tunnel and adapt to local conditions. Now, you should be courteous to the king of Wu and send someone to send him a generous gift. If he doesn't agree, you can serve him personally and mortgage yourself to Wu. Gou Jian said, "All right! So he sent a doctor to make peace with Wu. He knelt on the ground and kowtowed and said, "Wang's courtier, Jian Jian, wants me to tell your staff boldly: Gou Jian asks you to let him be your slave and his wife be your concubine. "The prince will promise to plant. Zi Xu said to the king of Wu, "The Emperor of Heaven gave the state of Yue to Wu, so don't promise him." After returning to Vietnam, he told the sentence to build. The sword was sentenced to kill his wife and children, burn his jewels, and fight to death on the battlefield. There is a way to stop Jane from saying, "Wu Taizai is very greedy." We can lure him with a lot of money. Please allow me to go to Wu Tong to receive him in secret. "So Gou Jian asked the species to dedicate beautiful women's jewels and jade articles to Taizai. Hao readily accepted, so he introduced the doctor to the king of Wu. A kowtow said, "I hope your majesty will forgive me for the crime of sword. We will give you all the treasures handed down from ancient times. If you are unfortunately pardoned, Gou Jian will kill all his wife and children, burn all his jewels, and lead his 5,000 soldiers to fight you to the death, and you will also pay a considerable price. "Taizai Hao took the opportunity to persuade the King of Wu:" The King of Yue was a courtier, and pardoning him is beneficial to our country. " The king of Wu promised to replant. Zi Xu remonstrated, saying, "If you don't destroy Yue State today, you will regret it. Jane is a wise monarch, and Zhong He is a wise minister. If Zhu Jian can return to Yue, he will definitely make a mess. " The King of Wu did not listen to Zixu's advice, and finally pardoned the King of Yue and withdrew his troops to return home.
When Gou Jian was trapped in Huiji, Zeng Kui sighed, "Will I end my life here?" "Species" said: "Shang Tang was imprisoned in Xiapi, trapped in yǒu, Jin fled to Zhai, Qi fled to Ju, and finally became kings, dominating the world. From this point of view, why can't our situation today be a blessing? "
The King of Wu pardoned the King of Yue. After Gou Jian returned home, he thought carefully and painstakingly, hung his gallbladder on his seat, and then he could look up and taste it and eat it. He also said, "Have you forgotten Huiji's shame?" He farmed by himself, his wife wove by herself, and he never had meat for dinner. Never wear two layers of gorgeous clothes, be polite to sages, be considerate, treat guests warmly, help the poor, mourn the dead and work with the people. The King of Yue asked Fan Li to manage state affairs, and Fan Li replied, "I am not as good as you when it comes to fighting; Pacify the country and bring people close. I am not as good as planting. " So, he entrusted the state affairs to the doctor, asked Fan Li to make peace with the doctor Ji Zhe, and then went to the State of Wu as a hostage. Two years later, Wu Pai sent him back to China.
After returning to China from Huiji for seven years, Gou Jian always comforted his soldiers and people, hoping to avenge Wu. Feng Jian said, "The country has just migrated, and now it is rich. Rectify armaments, Wu will be afraid, afraid of the inevitable disaster arrival. In addition, when fierce big birds attack the target, they must hide first. Now, Wu Jun is on the border of Qi and Jin, and he hates Chu's guts. Although it is famous all over the world, it actually harms the Zhou royal family. Wu's lack of virtue is indispensable. He must be very arrogant. If you really think about Yue, it is better to make friends with Qi, get close to Chu, join Jin and be kind to Wu. Wu is very ambitious and must despise war. Let our country contact the forces of the three countries, let them attack Wu, and let Yue conquer it while being tired. " Gou Jian said, "Good."
Two years later, the prince of Wu will crusade against Qi. Zi Xu remonstrated: "No, I heard that James Zhu never fried two good dishes, and shared joys and sorrows with the people. The immortality of this man must be a worry for our country. When Wu arrived in Yue, it was a worry, while Qi was like a scar to Wu. I hope that the king will give up attacking Qi and attack the country first. " The king of Wu refused to listen and sent troops to attack the State of Qi. He defeated the Qi army in Aileen and took Gao and Guo's whole family back to Wu. The king of Wu blamed Zixu, who said, "Don't be too happy!" " The prince of Wu was very angry and Zixu wanted to commit suicide. When the prince heard this, he stopped him. Doctor Yue said, "I observed that the King of Wu had too much power. Please allow me to sound him out and borrow food to find out the attitude of the prince of Wu towards Yue. " Kind of borrowed food from the prince of Wu. The prince of Wu wanted to lend it to him, but Zixu suggested not to. The king of Wu still lent it to him, and the king of Yue was secretly happy. Zi Xu said, "If the King of Qi doesn't listen to my advice, Wu will be in ruins in three years!" After hearing this, Taizai Hao argued with Zixu many times about his plan to deal with the state of Yue, and took the opportunity to slander Zixu, saying, "The State of Wu is honest on the surface, but in fact it is cruel. He doesn't even care about his father and brother. How can he care about the king? " The last time, the King of Qi tried to attack the State of Qi, and the soldiers strongly protested against him. Later you played well, but he hated you for it. If you don't guard against him, he will definitely make trouble. "Hao also conspired with Feng * * * to slander Zi Xu again and again in front of the king. At first, the king of Qi did not listen to rumors and sent Zixu to Qi. When Qi Weiwang heard that Zixu entrusted his son to Bao, he was furious and said, "Wu Yuan really cheated me! After Zixu returned to China as an envoy, the King of Wu sent someone to give Zixu a "ornamental" sword to commit suicide. Zi Xu smiled and said, "I will help your father dominate and make you king. You wanted to share Wu with me at first, but I didn't accept it. Not long after, today you killed me because of a rumor. Alas, alas, you can never build a country alone! Zi Xu said to the emissary, "I must take out my eyes and hang them on the east gate of the capital of Wu, so that I can see the Vietnamese army enter the city with my own eyes." So the prince of Wu was in charge of state affairs.
Three years later, Gou Jian summoned him and said, "The king of Wu killed Xu, and there were many flatterers. Can you attack Wu? " Fan Li replied, "No."
The following spring, the king of Wu went to Huangchi in the north to see the princes. All the elite troops of Wu followed the king to the meeting, and the old and weak soldiers and the king stayed in Wudu. Gou Jian asked if he could attack Wu. Fan Li said, "All right". So he sent 2000 soldiers familiar with water warfare, 40000 well-trained soldiers, 6000 well-educated and high-ranking guards, 1000 management and technical officials to attack Wu. Wu Jun was defeated, and the Vietnamese army also killed the king of Wu. The emissary of the State of Wu rushed to the King of Wu, who was meeting the prince in the Imperial Pool. He was afraid that everyone in the world would hear the news of the fiasco and stick to it. The prince of Wu had an appointment with a vassal in Huangchi, so he sent someone to make peace with Yue with a generous gift. The King of Yue estimated that he could not destroy the State of Wu, so he made peace with the State of Wu.
Four years later, the State of Yue attacked the State of Wu. The soldiers and civilians of Wu were exhausted, and all the elite soldiers died in the war with Qi and Jin. So, the state of Yue defeated Wu Jun and surrounded Wudu for three years. Wu Jun failed, and the State of Yue besieged the prince of Wu on Gusu Mountain. The King of Wu sent Gong Sunxiong to take off his coat and kneel down to make peace with the King of Yue, saying, "Fu Cha, a helpless courtier, took the liberty to express his wishes. I once offended you in Huiji, but I dare not disobey your orders. If I can make peace with you, I will withdraw my troops and go home. Today, you come to punish this orphan. I'll do whatever you want me to do, but my personal intention is to forgive me for Fucha's sins like Kuaijishan did to you! " Gou Jian couldn't bear it anymore and wanted to promise the prince of Wu. Fan Li said, "What we should remember is that God gave Yue to Wu, but Wu didn't want it. Today, God gave the State of Wu to Yue. Can yue go against the sky? Besides, isn't it because of the state of Wu that the imperial court is in full swing? I have planned to attack Wu for 22 years. Once I give up, okay? God gave it to you but you didn't want it, so you will be punished instead. Use an axe to cut wood to make an axe handle. The shape of the axe handle is left and right. Have you forgotten Huiji's suffering? Gou Jian said, "I want to hear your advice, but I can't bear to part with his messenger." Fan Li beat the drum and said, "Your Majesty has entrusted me with the administration of state affairs. The emissary of Wu should leave quickly, or you will regret it. " The emissary of Wu left with tears. Gou Jian pitied him and sent someone to say to the king of Wu, "I will put you in Yongdong! Rule a hundred. " The king of Wu declined politely and said, "I am too old to serve you!" " "Then he committed suicide, burying his face in suicide and saying," I'm ashamed to see my son! " "The king buried the prince and killed Taizai.