Chaoshan wedding etiquette

Chaozhou wedding customs are mostly based on the six ancient rituals: Chaozhou commonly calls Nacai as "proposing a marriage", asking for a name as "combined marriage" or "combining eight characters", Naji is called "engagement" or "luke" ) is set, the call to receive the invitation is to send the betrothal or to make the appointment, the call to ask for a date is to choose a date, to choose an auspicious day, and the call to welcome is to welcome the bride.

Proposal to propose marriage, also known as marriage proposal. That is, the matchmaker goes to the man to propose marriage, or the matchmaker first goes to the man to introduce the woman's situation, and then the man approves and then the woman proposes marriage.

. If there are no accidents or unlucky things in the man's house within three days, such as broken bowls, pots, etc., this is called "Three Good Days". With this good sign, the man agreed to exchange Geng Tie. After changing the Geng tie, each invites someone to get married to confirm whether the man and woman are compatible with each other or incompatible with each other. If they are incompatible with each other, the marriage will have to be abandoned. Contemporary people advocate free love. Although young men and women have long since gotten rid of the marriage customs of "parents' orders and matchmaker's words", and the old custom of exchanging Geng Tie has been abandoned, many people still retain the "combined eight characters" link. Engagement After choosing the auspicious character in the horoscope, the engagement stage begins, which starts from the man preparing gifts to the woman setting the marriage, which is also called "Ding". Gifts are usually gold and silver jewelry such as gold earrings, gold rings, and gold necklaces, as well as sugar and noodles, which are tokens of engagement. The woman must reciprocate the gift. Both men and women should distribute candies and cakes to relatives, friends and neighbors to inform them that the marriage has been decided.

Betrothal gift After the engagement, the betrothal gift will be given. Xingpin, also known as send-in. In the past, the betrothal gifts for the rich were gold, silver, colored satin, pigs, sheep, and wine and fruits; for the poor, betel nut, chicken and wine were nothing more. Chaozhou people regard betel nut as a symbol of good luck and good luck, which is a unique wedding gift. Contemporary betrothal gifts include physical objects and cash. The physical objects must include at least four types: sugar, noodles, Taiji (Teochew mandarin oranges), gold and silver jewelry, clothes and fabrics, cakes, etc., but it cannot be an odd number, it must be an even number. Cash is also called bride price, and it can be divided into one, two or four parts, but they are all multiples. During the betrothal gift, the woman must give a return gift, that is, return the cakes and food in the betrothal gift, and give in return mandarin ducks, bananas, oranges, pig hearts, etc. Mandarin ducks and bananas are bananas that grow side by side, which symbolizes a hundred years of longevity together, and also has the meaning of attracting wealth; orange is a homophone of "吉", symbolizing good luck; pig's heart (half of which is left on the woman) symbolizes concentricity. At this time, both parties should solemnly distribute the cakes and snacks from the other party's gifts to relatives, friends and neighbors to report the happy event of the wedding. Relatives, friends and neighbors should also return gifts to express their congratulations. Giving a gift to the bride is called "giving pollen".

Choose a day. Choose a day. After the betrothal gift, the man has to choose the date of the wedding and inform the woman, including telling her when to cut the wedding dress, when to pull up the face (opening the face, that is, twisting the hair on the face with a thread), when to take a bath, and what time to do it. Time to marry and so on. The time chosen by Chaozhou people is mostly late at night. The Chaozhou custom of welcoming brides late at night is indeed a legacy from ancient times. In ancient times, weddings always took place in the evening, so the bride-to-be must be welcomed after dusk, or even late at night.

Welcome to the bride. This is the ceremony in which the groom goes to the bride’s house to marry the bride. It is also the most important procedure in the wedding. There are two types of wedding customs in the old days: one is for the groom to welcome the bride, and the other is for the groom to ask a person with good luck to welcome the bride on his behalf. In modern times, the groom mostly welcomes the bride himself. During the whole process before and after the wedding, the bride and groom each have to hold some customary activities, including the following aspects:

Before the wedding, the bride uses twelve kinds of flowers and plants such as jelly grass and pomegranate flowers. Soak in water and take a bath. After bathing, put on a top with "all five trains", also called "upper sedan shirt", which means that the five blessings are complete. In some places, after bathing, brides have to sit in the bathtub and eat two hard-boiled eggs to pray for smooth childbirth after marriage. Moreover, the bride cannot sew bags inside or outside the clothes she wears, so as not to take away the luck of her parents.

Before getting married, the bride will share a lot of rice mixed with coins evenly among her brothers and sisters in the family, which means sharing the wealth with everyone. In Haishan Town, Raoping, the custom of dividing money rice is for the mother to put money rice in a dustpan or bamboo sieve, shake the dustpan vigorously, and say while shaking: "If the dustpan is round, the children and grandchildren will be rich; if the dustpan is evenly divided, next year Hold a male grandson. ?Then the money and rice are distributed to each of the bride's brothers and the bride. After the bride takes it, she puts it into a specially made bellyband and puts the money and rice in the rice urn of her husband's family.

Eat Half a Bowl of Rice In the morning before the bride goes out, her family will cook a four- or nine-course breakfast for the bride to enjoy, which must include boiled pork intestines, pork tripe, braised vegetables and haohe There are four common dishes including vegetables, and the rice for the bride should be filled to the brim, but the bride can only eat one side (i.e. half a bowl), which means that after getting married, there should be leftover money for her mother's family.

Bed-laying Before the wedding, the groom must hold a solemn bed-laying ceremony when decorating the new house. It is important to choose an auspicious day when setting up the bed, and the direction of the head of the bed is also important. After setting up the bed, a couplet saying "Good luck setting the bed" and "Qilin is here" should be pasted on the bed, and then a boy is asked to lie down on the bed for a while, which means that a baby will be born early.

Picking up the bride On the wedding day, the groom goes to the bride’s house and takes the bride back by bicycle, motorcycle or car. The bridesmaid and uncle (the bride’s brother) accompany the bride.

The uncle should bring a gift to the groom's house. In addition to a pair of male and female chickens, the uncle should also prepare a bottle of lamp oil, which means that the groom will have a baby. Nowadays, some use cosmetic oil instead of lamp oil. The brother-in-law will receive a warm welcome when he arrives at his in-laws' home. When getting married, the bride must bring a dowry. The dowry must include lamps, clogs, needlework, mirrors, combs, rulers, rice tubes, straw bellybands (two uprooted strawberries, sedge), etc., and toys for children. , stationery, socks for relatives and friends. Wearing clogs means growing old together, or following in step with each other. Wearing a comb symbolizes that the bride does things in an orderly manner, just like combing her hair. Nowadays, some people use small quilts for children to fold into the shape of a bellyband, and put straw heads in the quilt to form a straw head bellyband.

After entering the bridal chamber, the bride will eat "five bowls of head": dragon swordfish, pork liver with boiled onions, stir-fried pork with leeks, meatballs, and sweet bowls. ?Glutinous rice or mashed taro. Place four sweet cups in the four corners of the table, put brown sugar in the cups, and stick a little brown sugar on each dish to make everything sweet from beginning to end. The dragon swordfish symbolizes competence, the pork liver and boiled onions symbolize officialdom, intelligence, and reasonableness, the leeks symbolize longevity and rapid growth, the meatballs symbolize reunion, and the sweet bowl represents the sweetness of life, all of which are good wishes for good fortune and success. The bride and groom should sit at both ends of the bed to eat "shared room consummation", that is, eat sweet glutinous rice balls, and after eating half, exchange the rest.

Serving Sweet Tea At noon on the wedding day, the man invites relatives and friends to a banquet. After the luncheon, the mother-in-law or the groom will take the bride out to serve sweet tea or betel nuts to relatives, friends and guests. When serving tea, the order of generation should be followed strictly. The mother-in-law or the groom should be there to teach the bride one by one: who is this and what is the name of that. When the elders drink a cup of wedding tea, they have to give a red envelope in return, which is commonly known as "face money", and say some blessing words. On the day of the wedding, men and women from the neighbors chatted and laughed, came over to eat wedding candies and see the bride. The bride should give toys to the bride and return home. On the third day of the wedding, the bride and groom will hold a "return door" ceremony, that is, return to the bride's natal home. The ritual of “returning to the door” three times in a row is commonly known as “returning to the house”, “returning to the house”, and “turning back to the house three times”. During the first two visits to her parents' home, the bride and groom need to have lunch at their parents' home, but must return before cooking dinner. Only the third time can you stay overnight at your parents' home. In some places, the "homecoming" ceremony is held four months after the wedding.