Ask for a sketch, not limited to 3 to 4 people, preferably from the three countries. To be funny and novel, you don't need to pay attention for a long time in 5 to 8 minutes. It's funny and complete, plus three articles.
Jing Li (B): Alas.
A: Great! Listening to cross talk often is good for your health!
B: Really?
Haha, I am happy and healthy. What do you listen to in cross talk?
Tell me!
I have to teach you,
B: Ah.
A: It's Guan Er who listens to cross talk.
Oh, that's it.
A: Boring, boring, boring, boring, no matter how many sentences, in one go!
B: there are long queues.
A: Clean your mouth.
B: Alas!
A: Listening to cross talk mainly focuses on Guan Er!
B: Alas!
A: What about telling stories?
B: Ah!
That's what I heard!
Role zaner
A: Great role! Flower and bird praise! Armor is awesome! That's what I heard!
B: That's right!
Where is the conductor?
What are you listening to?
A: Look at this style! ,
B: Oh!
A: Dance!
B: Ah!
A: Look at this companion!
B: Look!
A: Look!
B: Here you are. . . .
A: Pay attention to this area.
B: That's right!
A: pocket watch!
B: Ah!
Look at this chain.
B: Oh.
A: Steamed buns!
B: Ah!
I ate this stuffing.
B: Yes!
A: Tang suit!
B: Here you are. . .
Answer: Look at the buckle of this kang (ancient buckle, pronounced "Paier")! Pay attention to that film and buy a turtle!
B: Ah.
Look at that lid. What a learned thing.
B: What's your knowledge?
A: Most people can't tell.
B: Yes, nobody is thinking about it either!
A: That's me!
B: Ah!
A: Very capable!
B: this ability is not so good!
A: I'm Wen Hao!
B: What about you?
A: Huh?
B: I didn't see it.
Smell me. You can howl when you're done.
B: This literary giant is a word. Please don't open it.
A: I am a great scholar!
Oh? learned
A: Alas! You scan it.
B: Ah!
A: Everyone knows! Ode and Song —— Four Forms of Poetry
Come on, come on, stand up and talk, okay?
A: I am used to it at home!
You still live on the heatable adobe sleeping platform here.
A: You must study poetry and classical literature.
B: Alas!
A: Gold and silver have the highest price! Time is like a sword! The shuttle between the sun and the moon makes people old! Sun Buddha cooks people with three golden lights. Tang poetry is here. This? This can also be sung!
B: Really? Singing?
A: (singing) That gold and silver treasure should pay the highest price! Time is like a sword! The shuttle between the sun and the moon makes people old! The sun, Buddha and three golden lights cook people and tell the stories of ordinary people themselves!
Do you applaud this? What the hell is this?
A: This? Tang poetry, sun Buddha, three golden lanterns, boil people.
B: Not in Tang poetry.
A: That's too much!
B: Ah.
A: A fat horse is a good horse! How hardworking people who want to get rich are! Don't make careless friends outside, he will show you the pit! Flowers bloom and fall every year! There are several times when the moon is missing and full! Endure and endure, forgive and forgive, endure three times on the head! We all know this!
B: It's called Hundred Endurance Chart.
A: Alas! Fishermen and firewood had to endure. Listen to me. Let's put up with it. The woodcutter who cuts wood has to put up with it. Fishermen who fish have to endure, because there are no tigers and wolves howling in the mountains. He still has to endure calmly and copy fish and shrimp. When he becomes a turtle, he has to endure, turn a blind eye and pretend not to see it. Look at this. Ah. Did you get a look at him?
B: I didn't read it.
A: Pretend you can't see!
B: Don't quibble. Why are you picky?
A: Ah! Tang poetry, Tang poetry, Song poetry!
B: There is no such song.
Has everyone seen "A Talented Person and a Beautiful Woman"? This?
B: Is that what talented scholars learn?
To be honest, I learned a lot. Study everything!
B: What else have you studied?
A: Huh? This needs to be studied, classic! Still have to study, East and West Korea, Journey to the West, Three Kingdoms, huh?
B: If we want to talk about the classics of The Three Kingdoms and Water Margin, we should study them carefully. This is interesting.
Do you know Romance of the Three Kingdoms and Water Margin?
Do you know that?/You know what?
A: No? Yes, I will!
B: Ah.
A: People who speak cross talk have little knowledge. You changed my mind. Sure! Kid! Huh? Oh!
Who's that kid?
A: I also know the Three Kingdoms! I'm so excited!
B: Huh?
A: Huh? What about you? Huh? This? Yo? Oh! He also knows the Three Kingdoms? Look at that! ?
B: Is there anything wrong? Who are you?
I'm so happy! There are successors in the field of phonology in China. Huh? Do you know the Three Kingdoms? !
B: I know the Three Kingdoms don't show their faces very much.
A: I am an expert in this field!
B: Oh, specialize in this!
A: You have to ask me about the Three Kingdoms!
B: Really?
A: I have studied it at home and abroad, up and down!
Oh, then tell us what you study.
A: What I know, no one else knows.
B: Oh!
Do you know how to borrow the east wind
B: There is this play.
A: Oh! You've seen the play, too.
B: Ah.
A: Huh? ! ? ! ? All right! All right! All right! Still alive. This thing? Borrowing from the East Wind of the Three Kingdoms, Peking Opera has this! Beijing opera! There is such a drama of borrowing from the east wind!
B: That's right.
A: (singing) I know that the east wind sets on Jiazi Day! Right?
B: there is this sentence!
Wei Rongyuan sings best! Do you know that?/You know what? Do you know that?/You know what?
B: Who? ! ? ! ? ! ?
A: Huh?
Wei Rongyuan? Wei Rongyuan sings the day!
Hello, who are you?
Mom, Li Anliang!
Ma Li Anliang?
B: Alas!
This is the best song! But let me ask you something! The east wind will fall on Jiazi Day, and this day is Jiazi Day.
B: That's right.
A: What day is it today?
B: What day is it today?
A: What day is it today?
B: Then. . . Who knows?
A: I don't know? ! ?
B: I don't know! ! !
A: Thursday!
B: Thursday?
A: Jian 'an 13,165438+1October 20th! AD 208! By date, at the end of leap year, add 7 and divide by 1, this Thursday! Thank you! Thank you!
Not bad. I'm really trying to pay it back!
A: Thursday! I'm going to put this! Sell it to Beijing Peking Opera Theatre!
B: Huh? What do people need this for?
A: Put it in the play in the future! (Singing) I know that on Thursday, the east wind will fall! This is good, this is good, how good is this? !
B: You have to take the band into the ditch to sing like this.
A: How nice, Peking Opera with weather forecast, this thing, huh?
B: Nothing!
A: Can everyone stop watching? Want to know when to go to the theatre!
B: You know that day?
A: Great contribution! Do you know that?/You know what?
B: Nothing!
A: Others don't know, but we know!
Oh, what else have you studied?
So, does Guan Yu know?
Of course I know!
Guan Yunchang, who is his master?
His master? ! ?
Do you know that?/You know what?
B: Guan Yu has a portal?
A: Look! ? ! There is a division of mentoring.
B: Oh!
A: I don't know?
B: I don't know!
A: It's over, it's over!
B: Ah.
A: I don't want to know too much!
B: Then tell us about it.
A: Who is Guan Yu's master?
B: Ah!
Who knows? Nobody knows! Let me ask you a little question first. What books does Guan Yu like to read?
B: Huh? You can't keep it from me!
Hmm.
B: Spring and Autumn Period-Sun Wu's Art of War!
A: Yes! Sun Wu's Art of War! Why do you love Sun Wu's The Art of War?
B: Why?
A: It was left by his master.
Oh?
Do you know that?/You know what?
B: Ah.
A: Sun Wu! There's still one word left to say!
B: What?
A: empty!
The Monkey King?
A: Alas!
A monkey? ! ? ! ?
A: Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! ! !
Is this the owner of Guan Gong?
Guan Gong, his former teacher! Huh? The Monkey King! Uncle Pig, do you know?
B: That's right.
Do you know Friar Sand?
B: Alas! Sandy
A: His master, Tang Priest, is right!
Yes, it's not right, is it?
A: What's the matter?
This is the Monkey King. Is it a monkey?
A: Yes, Guan Yu is also a monkey!
B: Is Guan Yu a monkey?
Answer: Hanshou Pavilion-Monkey! Right?
B: You ruined this little knowledge.
A: After the Three Kingdoms came the Jin Dynasty. The Jin Dynasty ended the Southern and Northern Dynasties, the Southern and Northern Dynasties ended the Sui Dynasty, and finally the Tang Dynasty unified the world. You can calculate that in 500 years, during the Three Kingdoms period, Guan Yu, who was taught a lesson by the Monkey King, was pinned down at the foot of Wuxing Mountain, and 500 years later, he was taken out to learn from it. Look at that. . . Right?
What are these messy things?
Did you get a look at him? ! Knowledge? Knowledge!
What else do you study besides this?
A: How exciting!
B: Ah.
A: Cao Cao, do you know?
B: Cao Cao knows.
Cao Cao, who is your father?
B: Cao Cao, his father?
A: Ah!
I know!
A: Who is it?
B: Cao (name of dim sum)
Did you get a look at him? Nonsense, right? I am not interested in you!
B: Don't be ridiculous.
A: It's time to learn this knowledge.
B: Ah! I know!
You can't be serious Ask if you don't know. What do you mean by Cao? Nonsense. This ... huh?
B: It's called Cao Song.
A: No. . I'm telling you, I've studied knowledge for so many years, huh?
You never stand.
There is no room for your legs. You know this, you know! Cao Cao's father is not Cao Song!
B: Who is it?
Do you really want to learn?
B: I really want to learn!
A: Take a notebook and write it down! I tell you, Cao Cao's father! Call bananas!
B: bananas?
A: Bananas! !
B: Not as tall as my Cao Zi!
What are you doing there, huh?
B: That's right! You have water here! What two words?
A good photo is a kind of friendship. Cao intersection.
B: Isn't it fruit?
A: No, no, no, it has nothing to do with that.
B: Oh.
A: The intersection of Cao and Cao has a history.
B: Tell me what the basis is.
Have you seen the Beijing opera Catch and Release Cao?
B: Yes!
There is an old man named Lv Boshe in it.
B: Oh.
A: I met Cao Cao and said this.
B: What sentence?
I really know your father! I met your father Cao. -Good relationship.
Is it true?/You don't say.
A: Really!
B: You said "a chewing dog".
Cao intersection, do you know? You don't know, do you?
B: I don't know!
A: How much can this increase? Through our research, it is found that the ways to deal with the feelings of men and women in the three countries are different.
Oh, what do you have?
A: For example, there is a great person here.
B: What's your name?
A: Liu Bei, Liu Xuande. Liu Bei is not so good,
B: Ah.
A: Especially for your wife, not good! In the Three Kingdoms, I abandoned my wife three times.
Oh?
A: This is called Liu Bei's divorce from his wife.
B: When?
A: Look! Lu Bu beat Xiao Pei, but he ran away, leaving his wife (Mi Zhu).
B: Ah.
A: I ran away after hitting Xuzhou. What about the wife? Let this Guan Yunchang get two cars and take them away. Hide.
B: That's right.
A: Later, when I was camping in Tu Shan, there were about three things. Is there such a period?
B: Tuntushan, about three things.
Later, Zhang Wenyuan came. After this incident, many things happened in Zhang Wenyuan. It just came out of Wulongyuan, you know?
B: Well, this is it. . .
Hey, I'm busy too!
Zhang Wenyuan, Zhang Liao, not Zhang Wenyuan.
A: Huh? Is it different from that?
B: It's different.
A: What dynasty does his temper care about? ah
B: It needs management and understanding.
Ah, this is the first time. Later, I abandoned Xinye to Fancheng and threw my wife away.
Oh?
A: Later, thanks to this general, Zhao Yun and Zhao Zilong, he saved young master Dou.
B: Yes.
A: Liu Bei took the children and invited a buyer, which made people feel stronger.
B: Ah.
A: Tears came down. Look, it's all because of you!
Does Liu Bei sound like me?
A: He, his characteristics.
B: What are the characteristics?
Because of you, I almost lost one of my generals! Poor boy, why should I keep you? I'll kill you and me! -Throw it underground.
B: you won't die if you throw it underground?
A: This is terrible! If the door is not good, will it fall to death? First of all, Liu Bei is waist-high!
B: Oh.
A: Second, his arms are very long, like an orangutan.
B: Yes.
A: Third, in the sand, the child fell directly to the ground. Nothing! I really want to fall to death. I really want to die. There are many ways.
What can we do?
Grab your legs and swing against the tree.
That's harsh.
Two strokes and it's over, right? This is Liu Bei's wife.
B: inviting people.
A: And this Lu Bu loves his wife.
B: What happened to Lu Bu's love for his wife?
A: Lyu3 bu4 is amazing!
B: Ah.
Answer: Lyu3 bu4 in the crowd, red rabbit in the horse pile!
B: There is a saying,
A: All Malians can't beat him.
B: That's right.
A: Run! Wow, this circle goes hundreds of miles.
B: Yes.
A: And I'm not tired. As soon as I pulled the reins, I suddenly screamed, and my hooves kicked up. Oh! Talk to other horses!
B: Ah.
I am the fastest!
It's not over, is it? Does this horse smell like this?
A: That's what I mean.
What do you mean?
A: The red rabbit in Mane, Lu Bu in Man! It's amazing! There's only one thing if you can: be lascivious, love The Story Of Diu Sim, and let Cao Cao kill him in the White Gate Tower. Lu Bu loves his wife.
B: Alas!
Liu An killed his wife.
What's the story?
A: It was also Liu Bei who escaped from Xiaopei. He didn't eat all the way and was very hungry. I found a small house in a remote place. There is a man named Liu An who dances sword and sings with me.
B: Alas.
A: What do you mean by playing with a sword? In the past, people sometimes sat in the house, pulled out their swords, played them with their fingers and sang while playing.
B: I used to do this.
Yes, it is very interesting. (Singing) Spring, flowers, flowers.
Do you have this song?
A: It's fun! When Liu Bei came here, he slammed the door, and the door cracked left and right, and Liu An came out. Who are you looking for?
B: I'll slap you if you want to learn this again!
This is all my money, you know?
B: Why is this in every paragraph?
Let me in. Sit here. Liu Bei said that he had not eaten yet. Never mind, I will prepare dinner for you! I came to the back and killed my wife. I cooked some dishes and brought them out. Liu Beiquan ate them. I ran here and met Cao Cao. Only a man named Liu An invited me to dinner and ate his wife. Cao Cao was very moved. He sent someone to send 1000 taels of silver. From then on, Liu An suddenly became rich.
B: I have money.
However, the spirit is empty.
B: Ah.
I will be a bachelor all my life.
B: Why?
A: No girl dares to be his wife.
B: Why?
A: I'm afraid he'll treat me.
B: Yes, and then killed?
A: Isn't it? If you look at this knowledge, you can't see it when you look at the Three Kingdoms.
B: No.
A: You should learn from me.
Yes, you did think about it.
A: Isn't it? Let me ask you one more question.
Is there a problem?
A: Who has the greatest ability among the three countries?
B: Huh? You can't beat me, I know!
A: Who is it?
B: Zhuge Liang!
A: Zhuge Liang, with superior ability, knows astronomy from the top, geography from the bottom, harmony between man and nature from the middle, yin and yang gossip, and a small qimen shield. He compared himself to the sages of Guan Zhong and Le Yi, who sat on their knees and didn't leave the thatched cottage until three minutes later.
B: quite capable! You are really capable!
A: great ability, but great ability? Why did Wu and the seven-star lamp let Sima Yi run to death?
B: That's Sima Yi's great skill.
A: That's right! Sima Yi is very capable. Command thousands of troops! Huh? There are as many as 1000 generals at hand, great heroes. When playing street kiosks, Zhang He was sent to win the first world war .. Sima Yi has skill!
B: How big!
A: Then why was Zhao Yun scared away at the street pavilion? What's going on here?
B: That's Zhao Yun's ability!
A: Yes! General Changsheng, go to Changbanpo to rescue Master Dou.
B: Alas!
A: Zhao Yun is capable! Why did Zhang Fei break off as soon as Yangqiao passed?
B: That's Zhang Fei's skill!
A: Hulao Pass, three heroes fight Lu Bu, and three brothers fight one?
B: Lu Bu is capable!
Answer: White Gate Tower, Cao Cao, kill Lu Bu!
B: That's Cao Cao's skill!
A: Oh? When the warship caught fire, you cut your beard and ran away alone. Who can do that?
B: I don't know!
A: You don't know who is the most capable in the Three Kingdoms?
B: I don't know!
A: Me!
What about you?
A: Look, without me, how many times? Can you say that you are so happy?
B: it's not very telling.
A: How capable! If you study it, you have to study its extension. It's no fun just thinking about stories. The interpretation of these heroes in the Three Kingdoms has different uses in today's society!
Oh? There is a place for it!
A: Alas!
How many people should I mention?
A: I can give them-re-employment!
Oh, you can arrange a job for me.
No problem.
B: The general Zhang Liao Zhang Wenyuan you mentioned just now!
A: Zhang Wenyuan, Zhang Liao,
What can he do?
A: Be a teacher in kindergarten. Specializing in children,
Why is this happening?
A: During World War I in xiaoyaojin, millions of children were afraid to cry. Zhang Liao stopped crying and put it in a kindergarten to look after the children.
He can stop all the children.
Everyone is afraid of him.
B: General Zhang Fei, what does Zhang Canyide do?
Zhang Fei, a native of Zhang Yide, works as a security guard in a bank.
B: What's the matter?
A: One is that he snores and the other is that he stares when he sleeps. In this way, being a security guard is the most suitable.
Yes, against thieves. Cao Cao
A: Cao Cao, be a plastic surgeon! I cut my beard and abandoned my robe, and changed my appearance. Plastic surgery is the best!
B: What can Zuo Ci do?
A: Zuo Ci is a great man and a demigod. He used to play all kinds of tricks, didn't he? Be a magician!
Magician?
David. Zuo Ci Phil
David Seth Kotkin
Well, he doesn't stutter.
B: What do you mean you don't stutter?
A: It's a quick hand and a narrow mouth.
Become a magician.
magician
B: OK. I'll mention another one, Liu Bei and Liu Xuande.
A: Go to the TV series.
In a TV series?
A: I came when I cried. Liu Bei is the most suitable.
B: I am filled with emotion.
No problem.
What do Zhang Can songs do?
A: Zhang Song, oh, Zhang Song for surprisingly!
B: That's right.
A: When the host goes, he will talk quickly. He doesn't like face. Let him go after the guests.
Oh, Kong Ming.
Kong Ming opened a website.
B: start a website?
A: such a smart person doesn't open a website? Wronged Www.zhugeliang.com
B: Right, right, right.
A: Is that right?
Zhao Yun and Zhao Zilong.
A: Express delivery!
B: Huh?
A: Express delivery! Seven in and seven out, no delay. Come on!
B: Quick?
A: Quick!
B: Mi Heng.
A: Mi Heng, beat Cao Cao with gongs and drums, and took off his shirt to beat him?
B: Right, right, right!
A: Send it to the Academy of Fine Arts, nude model.
How did you know?
A: Take it off there, take it off there.
B: Guan Yu, Guan Yunchang,
A: As a WTO negotiator, it is most appropriate for him to go here.
B: There is a Cao Chong.
A: Free market, no matter how fair it is.
Yes, Cao Chong is an elephant.
A: He has studied this.
B: Pang Tong?
A: Acting in a sketch is very popular, I'll tell you.
B: Well, Pang Tong is ugly.
A: Ugly star!
What does Yang Canxiu do?
A: Lucky 52, for Li Yong, solve riddles on the lanterns, choking. . . . This, how nice!
B: Sun Quan?
A: Play a play and play a foreigner without makeup.
Oh,
Green eyes and red eyebrows.
B: What can Meng Huo do?
A: Meng Huo, seven captures Meng Huo? A, A and B are coaches! Only seven times!
How about seven times?
A: Class is over after seven times.
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