Love without losing oneself - Thoughts after watching the drama "Rhinoceros in Love"
In the prologue of the first act, Ma Lu said to Ming Ming, who was tied to a chair: I love you, I love you with all my heart, I love you crazily, I flatter you, I promise you, and we vow to each other. , I can do whatever I can.
Ma Lu’s words actually declared the gap between his and Ming Ming’s love status. The road to Mingming is like a young slave's longing for a beautiful mistress. It is the bending of the waist and the raised corners of the eyes day after day; it is the toad squatting on the ground looking up at the swan, and it is the desire to lift up even if it hurts. The head that is hanging and the heart that still cares about it even if it knows that it cannot be obtained; it is the expectation of the black mud for Bai Yun, it is the black mud that wants to mold itself into a plane into the shape that Bai Yun likes and fly into the sky; it is a piece of black mud that Ren Qing tramples on A carpet is a carpet that gets dirty when you jump, step on, rub, or even crush apples with high-heeled shoes. It is a carpet that even if you are injured or tired, you will lie down on the ground where she passes. Their status in this love with no ending can be seen. Although they obviously care about others, although they have feelings for Ma Lu later, they are always thousands of miles away from him, just because she feels that part of her heart already belongs to Chen Fei; Ma Lu Falling into the dust, just to have the slightest chance of standing on the ground and hugging Mingming falling from the sky. He did not bloom a flower in the dust, but instead grew a thorn, which pricked both himself and Mingming.
Ma Lu is not in love with Mingming, but worship.
At the end of the love training class, Ma Lu said: No parents, no friends, no home, no career, no one needs me. My life is zero and empty. You can spend money to buy many women to sleep with you, and go to bed with many, many women you meet by chance, but you are still alone, no one will hug you tightly, and your body still has nothing to do with others. I felt like I was going to grow older year after year... Until one day I saw you, and I felt that you were as lonely as me. I suddenly felt that I had found something to do - I could make you happy. She is a person worthy of you doing something for her...
Here, Malu has become a slave of love, that is, a slave of Mingming. When a person places all the hope and meaning of his life on another person, it is like becoming an accessory, like a rag doll hanging around someone else's neck, laughing and crying with him. This kind of love has reached an extreme. Although you can give everything and sacrifice everything for love, it also means that you can do whatever it takes, just for the so-called love defined by yourself, the love that fills almost your entire life.
However, Ma Lu’s love for him obviously played an indispensable role.
When Ming Ming was crying in front of the road, he said that how long would I continue to be obedient to her? I really don’t know what else I can’t do for him! This hateful person! What if I didn't love him anymore. The love in my eyes is like the mark of a slave on my forehead. I will follow him wherever he goes! Can you imagine? As long as I follow him, I'm content. It's really crazy. How can I stop loving him? Um? Ma Lu wanted to speak, but he obviously ignored him. I won't be able to bear it if this continues! But if I don't love him anymore, what's the point of living?
From a certain perspective, Ma Lu’s way of love is actually what Ming Ming taught him. But when Malu first started to like Mingming, he treated her like a male rhinoceros seeing (or smelling) a female rhinoceros he liked. Although his heart was turbulent, he only smelled her from a distance and made tentative gestures. Take some slightly shy actions. As he got to know Mingming better, Mingming's overwhelming love for his boyfriend was unconsciously transmitted to Ma Lu. It’s not that Ma Lu doesn’t understand Ming Ming Ai’s unscientific, unreasonable and unwise ways, but can he escape from this trap? Love always keeps people in captivity and the authorities are obsessed with it.
She is obviously smart, because she knows that the love on the road is like a cup of medicine that exudes a fragrant smell and a colorful color. It is warm in the mouth, but it will turn into poison if you are not careful. , It's like drinking poison to quench thirst; it's obviously stupid, she knows that only by not giving any feedback to Ma Lu at all can he not go too far and have no illusions anymore, but she can't help her own wandering.
Screenwriter Liao Yimei once said that the protagonist Ma Lu in the play is a paranoid in the eyes of others. As his friends said - over exaggerated the relationship between one woman and another woman. The difference is that today, when everyone knows how to choose wisely, he is the rhinoceros among the crowd - he is really an outlier.
Because today too many people regard love as if it is instant noodles that can be used as a midnight snack. When you want to eat, you can choose the flavor, pay some price, and put some boiling water. have eaten. If you don't like it, just throw it away. Anyway, instant noodles are not a rare thing. Even if you eat half of them and disappear for some reason, you will just be sad for a while, and you will still sleep when it's time to sleep. Love has become frivolous due to the impetuosity of this era. Many people, as the screenwriter himself said, everyone knows how to choose wisely. This wisdom is actually a kind of timidity and excessive rationality, without truly putting one's heart into love. Just like what the love professor in scene 11 said: At the dawn of the new century, in order to maximize human happiness and comfort, comfort and happiness, and to avoid excessive torture of ourselves and improper measurement of ourselves, we should vigorously promote love. Standardization, specialization and standardization, and strictly eliminate the disadvantages and useless waste caused by the abuse of emotions.
"Rhinoceros in Love" provides an opposite example of this social phenomenon, just going from one extreme to the other. Neither Mingming nor Ma Lu is happy, because they They all use too much affection and love, and lose themselves. In order to reveal some aspects of human nature, many literary works often use exaggeration or magnification. The former uses a magnifying glass, and the latter uses a microscope. Some behaviors, psychology, and emotions can be shown through mirror images, because only typical and profound ones can be shown. Only then can it give people some inspiration, some impression and even some influence. Art, if you really want to study it carefully sometimes, will inevitably go too far and go from one extreme to another.
So, what I want to say is, love does not lose yourself.
There is a saying in "The Analects of Confucius": Going too far is not enough. This sentence reflects a very important idea: the idea of the golden mean (not the politicized idea of the golden mean). The idea of the golden mean means impartiality and people are on the right path. In fact, this Tao is actually salvation. Everything generally has a degree. If it exceeds this degree, it is just like failing to reach this degree. It is a failure. The same is true for love. Love should have the power of "the living can die and the dead can live", but it should not violate oneself or lose oneself because of love. Love is sunshine and beauty, and should not have the smoke of corruption and the smell of depravity.
The Bible Ephesians 5:28 says: "In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself." Here Loving yourself is the default prerequisite for loving others. If you don't love yourself, who can believe that you can truly love others.
End with another biblical verse: Love your neighbor as yourself (emphasis on).