Looking for a good joke to chat with a liar?

Looking for a good joke to chat with a liar?

It was around 10 noon one day in the summer of 2015, before going to work. Received a call: Hello, who are you? Answer: You don’t even know me anymore. Who are you? Zhang Qiang. To me he is Zhang Qiang. Why does it sound like Cantonese? I learned the local dialect in Guangdong. What do you want from me? I'm asking you to borrow 3,000 yuan. Hit my card. A friend of mine had an accident and needed it urgently. Where are you? I'm on the train. Arrive at the company at 1 noon. I'll pay you back. After 10 minutes of suspecting a scammer. They called me again to urge me to transfer money. I said: Go to the company to transfer money to you. I arrived at the company at 12 noon and saw that Zhang Qiang was in the company. Aren't you on the train? Why did you arrive at the company? Zhang Qiang said: I didn't call you. It must have been a scammer who called you just now. Whoever you say I am is who I am.

1. I have received similar scammers several times recently.

Liar: Hello......(and then did not speak)

Me: Hello......(then did not speak)

Liar: Hello... (Still silent)

Me: Who are you?

Liar: Who am I? (The tone is very unpleasant)

Me: Who are you?

Liar: Can’t you even recognize my voice? (The tone is a bit angry)

Me: Is it Mr. Li? (I have basically concluded that I am a liar, haha, so I made a nonsense, you are as smart as me)

Liar: By the way, you can’t even recognize my voice! In this way, I have been on a business trip for the past two days, lost my mobile phone, and changed my number. You ask the finance department to send me 5,000 yuan, and I will send you the account number, so hurry up. Very urgent

Me: Financial approval is required. Isn’t this what you said? You must sign at all times.

Liar: In this case, you transfer 5,000 to me first, and I will let the finance department transfer it to you when I go back.

Me: OK, I’ll transfer it to you right away.

Liar: Okay, okay, hurry up, the client needs money for entertainment, and we can’t afford to delay!

Me: Okay, okay, bye Mr. Li

Then the phone was blocked, haha

2. That was a real thing that happened to my friends ( Impersonating the Public Security Bureau, there are voices of various Public Security Bureaus on the phone in Beijing)

Liar: Hello, hello, I am from the Public Security Bureau. We have found that your ID card information is recorded as participating in an illegal scam. . (That’s probably what it means. Anyway, it means that the Public Security Bureau wants to investigate you)

Liar: Have you recently registered an account with your ID card, or has your ID card photo been used by someone else?

Friend: Probably not

Liar: Your information is registered in the records we found. If it is true, you will go to jail. Please cooperate with our investigation.

Friend: OK

Liar: We now need to know your family’s assets, and we need you to report all your family’s bank card account numbers, including those of your elders. All information must be collected. As well as family ID information, we need to verify the situation and compare it to confirm whether it is you who is involved in this case.

Friend: You are a liar.

Liars: We are not liars. This is a matter of whether you will go to jail. Don’t be trivial. You need to actively cooperate.

Friend: Okay, I’ll check it out and get back to you. Is it this phone number?

Liar: Yes, you have to reply to us as soon as possible

Then the friend hung up the phone and went to the nearby police station and gave the number to the police. The police at the police station said that they would never obtain information over the phone, but would only verify it in person.

Finally, I hope that scammers can be punished by law, and I also hope that everyone can look at scammers with a sharp eye and never be fooled by scammers.

Thanks for answering your question, I am Brother Big囧

This is a true story.

One day I received a phone call from an unknown person. His voice sounded like someone I knew, but also not like him. Below is what happened and a conversation I had with the scammer. Liar: What are you doing? Me: Nothing, who are you? Liar: Why, you can’t even hear my voice? Me: Who are you? I can't remember it all at once! Liar: Guess what? Me: Then I realized that I had met a liar, so I casually said my name, "You are Liu He!" Liar: Thank you for remembering me! Me: I already knew it, so I teased the liar and said, "I heard that you were arrested by the police for soliciting prostitution a few days ago. How come you got out so quickly?" I didn't expect that as soon as I said this, it gave the liar a job. An excuse to lie. Liar: Yes, that’s why I’m looking for you. I borrowed 30,000 yuan from someone before I was released on bail. They were eager for me to pay back the money. We are old friends. You lend me the money first, and I will pay you back slowly! Me: Seeing the liar say this, I suddenly had an idea and said, "Why are you so stupid? Isn't your brother-in-law in the criminal police brigade? Why don't you go find him? If he calls the detention center, you might not have to pay." "Liar: Don't let the family scandal be publicized, I don't dare to find him!" Me: You don’t dare to look for him. Let me talk to him. I’ll call him right away. Liar: No, you must not! After saying that, I put the phone down. This scammer has never called me since!

I once met three people driving a BMW in Guangzhou who asked me to borrow money. They said they were the chairman of Haier. They came to Guangzhou to hold a meeting. They stayed in a hotel for one night and then the money was stolen. I had no money to refuel and asked me to borrow 100 to refuel. He also asked me to leave a number for them so that they could pay back the money. He also promised me some kind of job. I listened very carefully and thought to myself, Haier’s chairman, how much does he pay in a year? Tax money, the government will definitely come out and treat them well if they are reduced to this. Then I kindly helped them call the police. Unexpectedly, they drove away before I hung up the phone. Hey~ I lost a very awesome friend. I also lost the opportunity for a good job.

It seems that it was many years ago when phone scams were crazy. Now there are much less phone scams than before. At that time, scammers used various tricks, and I also experienced many scammers calling me. Most people who receive calls from scammers either hang up or laugh it off. I usually have a chat with the scammer when I receive such calls.

The following is my experience, which is absolutely true and not a bit fabricated.

1. When I was young, I opened a small company, and its management was average. At that time, there were often scammers asking companies to order books of all kinds, including reference books, professional and technical books, and even the Yellow Pages. Generally, these types of books are not cheap and can cost hundreds, thousands, or even thousands or tens of thousands. Enterprises are not fools, and they will definitely not spend money to buy these useless books, so the scammers have used crooked ideas about their identities. They are either functional departments or agency leaders with the power to supervise the enterprise, and their tone of voice is also pretentious. Adjutant tone.

One day I received a phone call.

Liar: Hello, I am from the Inspection Division of XX Bureau.

As soon as I heard this call, I knew it was a liar, because the caller didn’t have a local accent at all.

Me: Hello! How to call it?

Liar: My surname is Li!

Me: Li Chuhao! (It seems that the other party has accepted this position by default)

Li Chu: Let’s talk about your unit’s problems when we come back! I have a set of XXXX books here. You can buy a set first.

Me: Li Chu, don’t scare me. What’s wrong with me?

Li Chu: You buy this set of books first, and when you come back, I will handle your problems for you and everything will be fine!

Me: How much?

Li Chu: 4200

Me: Too expensive! Can't afford it!

Li Chu immediately raised his voice: You don’t want to buy it, right? Then don't blame me for checking you!

Me: Chu Li, I really don’t have any money. If you want to check, just check.

Li Chu threatened me: Then don’t blame me!

Me: Li Chu! My uncle is Director Zhang of your bureau. Let me ask him first if all enterprises should buy this book? I'll ask him again how he taught you how to sell your book, and I'll tell him what you threatened me with, and let him take care of you.

Actually, I don’t know if the XX Bureau has a Director Zhang. Anyway, the surnames Zhang, Wang, Li Zhao are relatively common in China.

"Li Chu" is not afraid of letting my "uncle" take care of him. Anyway, he is not an employee of that bureau.

Li Chu: Your uncle can’t find mine, you’d better call me the money!

At that time, online banking was not as convenient, and payment was usually made through banks.

Me: Then let me take this phone number and ask my uncle. Why do I need to use my personal mobile phone to call others for work? If my uncle doesn't know about you, then I will call the police.

The other party immediately hung up the phone.

2. One time, my classmate brought a small card with recruitment information for a male publicist. The classmate didn’t know what the male publicist did and was very curious.

I said this is all fake, just to deceive people.

The classmates are also curious and hesitant. In order to verify that my judgment was true, and because I was too busy at the time, I found a public phone outside and called the phone number on it.

Liar: Hello!

Me: Hello, I heard that you are recruiting a male publicist?

Liar: Yes!

Me: My classmates and I have nothing to do now, can we apply for the job?

The liar is pretending: What is your age and height?

I reported the ages and heights of myself and my classmates.

In order to make this matter real and make us believe him, the scammer asked us to go to the lobby of a hotel and said he wanted to see us.

My classmate wants to talk to him in person. I said you can do it soon. Do you really want to go? I didn't let him go.

Half an hour later, I called the scammer and told him that we didn’t see him in the lobby.

The scammer said that he had seen us and felt that we were qualified for this job. He said that earning over 10,000 yuan a month was not a dream.

Me: When will we start work?

Liar: You have to pay a training fee of 800 yuan and a clothing fee of 500 yuan...

Me: You have to pay before you make any money?

Liar: You only pay a few thousand yuan and you can make it back in half a month.

Me: Just deduct the money after you make it!

Liar: Pay the money first, this is the rule!

Me: Are you a liar who took our money?

I finally broke the window paper.

The other party hangs up the phone.

I turned around and said to my classmates: You see, how could pie fall from the sky? Only big rocks can fall from the sky.

3. I bought something from a certain store and received a call half an hour later.

Liar: Excuse me, did you buy something from our store?

Me: Yes!

Liar: Sorry, that item is out of stock now.

Me: Then I’ll quit!

Liar: A certain treasure has a new rule. If the merchant does not have the goods, the buyer must be compensated double.

Is there such a good thing?

Liar: We will transfer money to you. Please tell me your mobile phone number and payment password, and I will give you double compensation.

I was shocked. Did I meet a legendary liar?

Me: Don’t you have my number?

Fraud: That is a normal process, but this operation is an abnormal process, so you need your XX treasure number and payment password.

Me: Well...what, I don’t want the extra money.

Liar: No, a certain treasure requires us to give you this compensation.

Me: Let’s do this. You keep the money. If a certain treasure calls me to return a visit, I will tell you that you gave it to me. It’s not easy for you to do business. I want your money too. It’s inappropriate and I can’t bear it!

The scammer will definitely insist on giving me money, but I insist on not wanting it.

If we were like this on the street, someone would probably send us to a mental hospital.

When I wanted to ask the customer service of a certain treasure to verify the authenticity of the matter, the other party hung up the phone unhappily.

4. One day I received a phone call with a southern accent.

Liar: Hello!

Me: Are you...?

Lie: Have you even forgotten me? How noble people forget things, haha!

Me: I can’t remember, just say it!

Lie: This is not right for you, you have even forgotten your old friends!

The other party never said who he was. I thought he met a liar.

Me: I remember, you are Lao Liu, right? It's all my fault.

Liar: You are so uninteresting! I'm in Cangzhou now, and I happen to be going to Tianjin tomorrow. I'll give you a treat then.

Me: No problem!

The scammer called me the next day.

Me: Where are you? I'll pick you up! explain! What do you want to eat? Steamed lamb, steamed bear paw, steamed deer tail, roasted duck, roasted chicken, roasted goose...

Liar: I can’t eat anymore!

Me: What’s wrong?

Liar: Don’t mention it. When I went to Tianjin to find you, I had a car accident on the road and broke my bones. I’m in the hospital now. I don’t have any money with me. I’m going to have an operation soon. For the sake of both of us. After so many years of friendship, can you lend me some money?

Me: Which hospital are you in? I'll go right away and send you the money myself!

Lie: Don’t come over here. The doctor is going to operate on me now. It will be too late for you to come over.

Me: Give the doctor your phone number, and I’ll tell him how your condition is. Can you wait until I go?

"Old Liu" refused to let me go to the hospital to see him.

Lie: Then give me some money first. Now I have no money and they won’t give me treatment.

Me: How much do you want?

Liar: Do you have 20,000?

Me: Is 20,000 enough?

The scammer was a little surprised. He caught a big fish this time: take 20,000 first, and wait until it is not enough.

Me: No, I have to hire the best doctor for you, use the best medicine, and give the surgeon the biggest red envelope.

The liar was a little touched: You are really my good brother.

Me: Let’s do this. I’ll give you 150,000 yuan first. I guess it’s enough to treat a fracture, and the rest will be used for your nutrition.

The liar doesn’t believe his ears.

Liar: Okay, I'll tell you my account number.

Me: But I don’t have that much cash now.

The scammer was a little stunned: How can you give me 150,000?

Me: That’s right. I currently have 10 million U.S. dollars frozen in a Swiss bank. The other party asked me for a deposit of 20,000 yuan to unfreeze the money. I don’t have that kind of money now. It's too much money, so I can't withdraw the money. If you can unfreeze the money, I will give you 100,000 US dollars.

Liar: How much money do you have now?

Me: Just 2000!

Liar: Wouldn’t it be enough if you ask someone else to borrow 18,000 more?

Me: How can I have any friends? How about you lend me some? You lend me 18,000, and I’ll give you $200,000.

There was no sound from the other party's phone for a long time, and then the call was hung up.

Many years ago, I frequently received calls saying that someone from my work unit was looking for me and asked me to come to his office. I was bored that time, so I chatted with the other party for a few words:

Liar: Are you a **?

Me: Yes, are you?

Liar: I am Mr. Chen from your company. Please come to my office tomorrow morning.

Me: Who are you, Mr. Chen?

Liar...

Liar: How many Mr. Chens are there in your unit?

(Your unit)

Me: There are several of them

Liar: I am Mr. Chen who is in charge of you directly.

Me: It is not Mr. Chen who is in charge of me directly.

Liar: Who is in charge of you directly?

Me: Mr. Li

Liar: I am Mr. Chen who is directly in charge of Mr. Li

Me: Mr. Li is not under Mr. Chen, but Mr. Chen is under Mr. Li. ...

Liar (urgent): I don’t care, anyway, you go to your leader’s office tomorrow.

After that, hang up the phone.

This was when I just graduated and one day I added a friend on QQ and pretended to be a company leader asking for money. Who knows, when I first saw this avatar (it was the company's logo), I really thought it was the leader who had changed his number. It wasn't until the scammer asked me if I was busy with finances that I immediately realized that this was a scammer. Because the company's finance department is not in the same building as ours, and the two offices are separated by a small river. If it were really the leader of the company, it would be impossible for him to ask me about finance matters, so I pretended to be the accountant and deceived him. Big liar. I sent him the account number and everything, and I discussed with my colleagues whether to call the police. I thought it would not cause any actual losses and I was afraid that I would not care about it, so I reported the account on QQ.

Actually, what I want to say is that you really need to be careful when encountering such a request to remit money. You must call to confirm before remitting money. I have seen a news before that a certain company's finance staff was defrauded into remitting hundreds of thousands of dollars. It would be fine if the money could be recovered. If the money cannot be recovered and the finance personnel have to pay for it themselves, then I really can't imagine how miserable it would be. In fact, the tricks of the scammer are not very clever. Whether he is pretending to be a company leader or a friend to borrow money, the scammer does not know some details of the company or the relationship between friends. If you pay more attention, you will find the flaws. He is a liar.

When chatting with a liar, try to be nonsensical and make the liar at a loss. Below I have collected some routines and counter-routines to see who is more powerful!

1. The scammer used a friend’s phone number to send: Are you there? Can you use Alipay? Please transfer 10,000 yuan to my account quickly. If you need it urgently, thank you!

Me: I have uninstalled Alipay!

Liar: Then call my account directly, ****

Me: If you are really short of money, I can burn it for you! ! !

2. Liar: Hello, I am a certain hospital. Your boyfriend was hit by a car. He is now in the hospital and preparing for surgery. Please prepare the money quickly and transfer it to the account!

Me: Oh? Is that serious?

Liar: It’s very serious. Send money quickly, the oxygen will stop soon!

Me: Stop it then, no need to rescue!

Liar:?

Me: Yes, I was the one who bumped into someone. You don’t need to rescue me! ! !

3. Liar: I am so-and-so, from Chengdu, Sichuan, married to a local rich man, but my husband is infertile, I hope you can help me!

Me: How can I help you?

Liar: I want to have a child. As long as you fulfill my dream of being a mother, you will be rewarded heavily, RMB 5 million!

Me: Mom! ! !

Liar:…?

Me: Mom, Mom, Mom! ! !

Liar: Get out! ! !

Everyone is talented, and the liar is forced to curse. Sure enough, surprise is the key to defeating the liar!

Has everyone mastered it? Hahaha

1. I once received a call from a scammer, who spoke in a southern accent: "Is it Xiao X? I am your manager. Come to my office tomorrow. I have something to talk to you about. ." I said, "Okay, where is it? Do you need to bring someone with me?" The other party paused for a few seconds...

2. Last time I received a call from a scammer: "This is Mr. xx, right? Hello, I am from the xx Public Security Department. You have an abnormal consumption record of 10 million overseas. We will call you to verify it." I said, "Yes. , What's wrong, I usually spend 100 million, but I haven't seen you call me." Then I just heard the scammer mutter a few words on the other end: "You are still pretending to be addicted" and then hung up... ....

When I think about it later, I feel like I didn’t perform my lines well at that time.

3. Once I received a call from a liar: "Come to my place tomorrow." Me: "No, they are going over now." Liar: "Come back tomorrow morning." Me: "Why, did you have an appointment with another vixen tonight? Tell me honestly who he is!" The liar was stunned: "666, your tricks are deeper than mine. You'd better not come." He hung up. Telephone.

Thank you for reading. During this period, I won many awards. I feel that in a few years, Jack Ma will be my little brother. Haha, this is my third bunker. Read the text!

1 Liar: I, Zhang Jie, am married to a wealthy businessman in Macau, but my husband is infertile. I hope some kind-hearted people can help me!

Me: What do you mean, how can I help?

Liar: I want a baby. As long as you can help me realize this dream, I will give you 5 million!

Me: Mom! Mother!

2 The scammer said: "Hello, I am from the Municipal Anti-Narcotics Brigade. I have found a batch of contraband. The account was opened with your ID card. Now I need you to provide your account opening information,,,,, ," I slapped the table before he finished speaking: "Fuck, you dare to seize my goods? Ask your director to explain it to me!" Then the person on the other end hung up the phone with a groan. ,,, I must be scared haha

3 I received a phone call before, the man had an accent, and he came up and said: "Mr. Liu, hello!"

"Who are you? ”

“You can’t even hear my voice, Mr. Liu, how forgetful you are!” When I heard this, I vaguely felt like I had met a liar, and I felt a pang in my heart. count.

"Oh, you are the old bastard from Shenzhen!"

The other person was stunned: "Yes, that's right, it's me, you finally heard it."

"I'm sorry, Lao Wang, who told you to change your number again?"

"Ah, yes, I changed my number again,,,," I interrupted him and asked directly: " Lao Wang, how is your mother's illness?"

He was stunned: "Oh,,,, it's still the same,"

"Oh, you have this disease. No way, by the way, has the matter of your dad’s car accident been resolved?”

“Well, it’s almost done,,,,” I can tell that the other side is a little angry, haha, I’m here soon Laughing so hard