The custom of peaceful engagement in Zhangzhou
(1) discussing marriage
Talking about marriage is equivalent to "accepting talents" and "asking names" in ancient times. In the old society, marriage in Zhangzhou attached great importance to matchmakers. "Although there is a world contract, there is no matchmaker to conclude." The matchmaker is a key figure in the marriage negotiation stage.
1. Explore family style
Also known as "family style" and "family style". Before formally asking for relatives, both men and women should try to understand each other's family situation, especially the woman is more cautious about it. In advance, she would like to invite relatives to visit the man's house, get to know the family style, other family members and their financial situation.
Step 2: Find Geng.
The man prepared a business card gift and invited the matchmaker to propose marriage to the woman's house. When the woman agrees to propose, she will accept the gift and write down the birthday of the girl who is going to get married on red paper (Hakka white paper). Generally, she writes "Kun Zao was born on a certain day in a certain year" and will give it to the man as a matchmaker.
marry
After the man received the woman's memorial tablet, he put it on the ancestral case, and then put the woman's memorial tablet under the incense burner for three days. During this period, if people and animals are safe, and there are no quarrels, illnesses or plate breaks, it can be said to be "three yen" or "three days after three days". Ask the fortune teller to "get married" and determine whether it is suitable for marriage according to the date of birth of both men and women. In the old society, when a daughter was born, if the birthday was not perfect, the parents asked the fortune teller to forge a good "eight-character" with a prosperous husband, a prosperous family and a rich treasury. Therefore, as the saying goes, "a man's life is not false, and a woman's life is not true." This marriage is pure self-deception.
If the two sides cooperate with each other in numerology, the man will give his heptyl iron, gift cake and red envelope to the woman. Generally, the giver invited by Geng is the man's uncle. He chooses a bamboo basket with red paint, which contains gift cakes and red envelopes, and goes straight to the hall from the door of the woman's house. He puts the red basket on the altar and informs the woman's ancestors that someone has proposed to her offspring. The woman's parents opened a post after offering sacrifices to her ancestors, and also invited the fortune teller to get married.
Kiss each other
After marriage, both parties prepare gifts, and the matchmaker accompanies the elders to each other's home for blind date. The girl in the boudoir must personally receive the man's guests and offer them tea.
Both parties can get engaged if they are satisfied with each other, and their parents will agree on the bride price, dowry and dowry thickness, and roughly determine the wedding date. I prefer to set the wedding date from the Year of the Loong to the Year of the Tiger. The seventh month of the lunar calendar is a ghost month, and the wedding date will not be set in this month. When both men and women add up to 50 years old, they will not get married for the time being. Hakka people are forbidden to propose marriage in March and June of the lunar calendar, and there is a saying that it is unlucky to be white.
After the two parties reach an agreement, the woman will issue a gift list.
(2) Engagement
Engagement is equivalent to "Naji", "Zheng Na" and "invitation" in ancient times, which is regarded as the beginning of a happy event. From this time until a period of marriage, both men and women and their relatives are not allowed to attend the funeral, so as to avoid "weddings and funerals", which is not conducive to family happiness. Conventions include the following conventions:
1. Appointment
Also known as "excessive determination", "food determination", "determination", "Wen determination" or "delivery". Accompanied by the matchmaker, the elders of men and women will send the agreed gifts to the woman's house as a fixed date on the selected auspicious day. Gifts are generally cloth, incense sticks, rock sugar, noodles, orange cakes, betel nuts and so on. N leaves, lotus seeds, pork, gift cakes, peanut candy, tobacco and alcohol, and ring jewelry are often mixed into the color of 12.
The woman's family will entertain the man's guests with rock sugar tea and sugar glutinous rice porridge, and the woman to be married will go to the hall to serve sweet tea. Guests should give red envelopes as "tea pressing" gifts when they accept sweet tea. The woman's parents put the ring given by the man on the finger of the woman to be married, and the ceremony of "ordering food" was completed.
When the man's guests leave, the woman will return a gift such as a towel (two towels are connected together). At the same time, both men and women should give cakes, candy and other gifts to relatives and friends, indicating that marriage has been confirmed.
Step 2 hire
Also known as "promotion" or "distribution decision". The man will send the agreed bride price to the woman's house on the selected auspicious day. The bride price emphasizes pairing, including the number of people who send bride price is even. Red paper should be pasted on the cage and pole of bride price, and the male elders should choose one to walk in front.
Bride gifts include wedding documents, gold and silk products, engagement money, jewelry, cloth, dresses, gift cakes, whole pigs, wine, chickens and ducks, and? Sugar, red jiaozi and other cakes. Among them, the number of gift cakes, sugar and cakes is decided by the woman to ensure enough distribution to her relatives, friends and neighbors. In addition, a bowl of red jiaozi will be distributed to every household. In some places, there are only marriage certificates, gold and silk, sacrifices and so on. They are all given at the time of recruitment, and the agreed gifts such as dresses are given by the man again. This is called "sending coats".
When giving a gift, the man should send an invitation and list the name of the gift. Such as: a pair of marriage documents, engagement money is certain, one gold hairpin, two chickens and ducks each. Write "marriage certificate is complete, engagement fee is fully sealed, gold hairpin is fully matched, German birds are in pairs, and home is four wings". When the bride price was brought, the female Yanari cannon welcomed her, paid homage to her ancestors with gifts, and received visitors according to the ceremony. This woman can't accept all the gifts. She wants to cut off the ribs and pig's feet and let the man's guests take them back. This is called "pressing the bottom of the box" or "returning the gift". The woman may also give back other gifts, such as clothes, shoes and socks for her fiance, and shoes and socks for future uncles and aunts.
After receiving the bride price, the woman should prepare a dowry. The dowry of a rich family is called "the whole hall", including things that a daughter uses for life, from toilets, needlework, land deeds, house deeds, and even coffins and shroud. It is called "Dont Ask For Help of Life and Death". In the past, married women in wealthy families also used □ (sound stem) (concubine) as their dowry. Poor households only prepare "half a hall" for their daughters: several sets of clothes, pollen, mirrors, scissors, rulers, quilts, curtains and some daily necessities. Dowry usually includes a toilet, which means giving it to your son early. In addition, a pair of "leading chickens" should be prepared as his dowry. The leading chicken should choose the cock that just crowed and the hen that is about to lay eggs. On the wedding day, use a red rope or red silk, tie a chicken foot at each end, let the cock and hen squat side by side, and put them into a new rice basket, and the bride's bridesmaid (bridesmaid) will bring them to the groom's house.
Send it to Japan
The man chooses an auspicious day to marry the bride. After obtaining the consent of the woman, he writes a red post to formally inform her of the wedding date and the person who should avoid confrontation when getting off the sedan chair, and then acts according to the ceremony. Therefore, there is an old saying: "There is affection next door, and you are polite."
(1) cosmetic gabardine
After employment, both men and women should send cakes and wedding candy to relatives and friends. After the wedding day, the relatives and friends of the woman should send red envelopes or gifts to the woman's home, which is called "adding makeup"; Relatives and friends of the man should also send red envelopes or gifts to "add to the man's troubles". Congratulatory wedding gifts must be delivered before the wedding day, otherwise it will be unlucky and the married family will not accept it.
(2) Cut the wedding dress
After the ceremony, both men and women should choose a day to worship God and burn incense, and then cut the wedding dress, which is called "cutting". Besides the dress, the white underwear of the bride and groom should also be cut. After marriage, the bride should properly collect the underwear until her death, and then put it on the coffin. It is said that this move contains the meaning of heavy chastity; Some people also said that they entered Zhangzhang and advocated the marriage of Han and She. When her man died, her woman agreed to wear white clothes to mourn the dead. The bride's wedding dress is a red coat and skirt embroidered with red shoes, and the clothes should be embroidered with "?" The form is to pray for good luck, commonly known as "playing ten thousand words"
(3) Bowl noodles
Before the bride gets married, she should choose a day to worship the gods and offer incense, and ask professional women to "pull her face", that is, twist the hair off the bride's face with thin threads. Commonly known as "opening a face", it means becoming a monk.
(4) Installation of machine bed
Before the wedding, the man should arrange the new house properly, and first choose an auspicious day to pay the bill. The bed must be placed in the direction of the beam, otherwise it will be called "lifting" and unlucky. After the bed is fixed, one or two boys belonging to dragons (followed by snakes) are invited to climb onto the new bed and roll around, symbolizing the successive births of brides, which is called "turning bed".
Widows and tiger girls should not participate in or watch wedding dresses, arm in arm and share the same bed. Gifts such as couplets and greetings from relatives and friends should be displayed in the hall, and the greetings from the groom and uncle should be hung in the center of the hall. There are three sticks of incense and a pair of red candles in the hall.
On the eve of the wedding, the woman's parents will invite people to bring new bedding, mirrors, cabinets and other things to the man's house to decorate the new house. Before marriage, the groom can't spend the night alone in the new house. He must have one or two men of the same age to sleep with him. This is the so-called "greenhouse". The dragon is the first choice for sleeping companions, and the tiger is forbidden.
(3) After marriage
According to the orthodox family ceremony, "kissing to welcome the bride" is one of the six major ceremonies in the wedding, which is highly valued. However, in the Qing Dynasty, there were people in Zhangzhou who "didn't greet the bride personally" and never emphasized that the groom married the bride personally. Many people invite "lucky people" (people with great blessings) to greet the bride on their behalf. And the details of the wedding are very particular and meticulous.
1. Get out of the cupboard
The bride's wedding ceremony is more complicated, and each county (district) is different. In the Qing Dynasty, Zhangzhou had to have a "nanny wing" to marry a woman. All over the country, women preside over this ceremony, which is called "seeing off the bride". She will accompany the bride to her husband's house, and all the ceremonies will be presided over and directed by her.
(1) Upcast
On the wedding day, the bride should be bathed in fragrant flowers and pomegranate leaves and put on her wedding dress. The bride-to-be was invited to the hall and sang, "Please come out of the hall and be a good person." When the bride came out, she was sent to get married. She took the bride by the hand and sat her in the hall. R□ (two notes) (a large flat basket woven with bamboo sticks to dry grain) sings: "Sit up straight, the bride hurts." Then the elders or "lucky" women comb her hair, tie a bun and wear flowers, which is called "top". Some just put the jewelry in front of the shrine in the hall by the mother (in the absence of the mother, it will be replaced by other female elders), indicating that they have been raised. This gift is a relic of an ancient gift. The bride should also wear a rockhopper. In some places, jasmine grass should be inserted in her head to ward off evil spirits, pomegranate flower heart leaves should be inserted to indicate more children, and early rice ears should be inserted to indicate early children.
After the bride is dressed up, the whole family will hold a farewell party. The banquet is a 12 dish called "Twelve Bowls". After eating, the bride and relatives solemnly said goodbye and then retreated to the back room.
(2) get on the sedan chair
After the arrival of the man's wedding procession, under the repeated urging of the bridesmaids, the bride took a small mirror and a bag with mascots such as lotus seeds, peanuts, sweet-scented osmanthus, pomegranate and jasmine hearts, symbolizing that "your son gives birth to your son and an hundred sons give birth to grandchildren", and went out of the hall to bow down and bid farewell to the gods, ancestors and parents.
Parents put a veil on their daughter and sent her to get married, singing: "The bride is virtuous and intelligent." The family threw the lit firecrackers on the roof, covered the bride's head with a rice screen, so that the bride could not see the sun, and her parents immediately helped the bride into the sedan chair.
There are many red jiaozi and melon candy in the sedan chair, and the bride throws melon candy all the way, indicating that this road can come and go frequently.
(3) Leave home
After the bride gets into the sedan chair, she throws a paper fan from the sedan chair, which is called "sex (temper)". After my father spilled a bowl of clear water on the sedan chair, it was the legacy that the ancients married women and warned them not to "go back".
When the sedan chair is moving, the bride will howl in the sedan chair, calling "Cry for good life" and "Cry for wealth". At the same time, the bride's house is closed immediately or blocked with rice screen. In some places, the bride's mother has to sit on the big threshold to prevent the wealth and atmosphere at home from being taken away by the bride, which also means that the bride will not go back.
Greet relatives
In the past, people used sedan chairs to greet the bride. In the 1920s, Zhangzhou City opened the way and began to marry the bride by carriage. Later, rickshaws, bicycles and cars were used to celebrate the wedding. In rural areas, sedan chairs were gradually abandoned in the 1950s, and passengers transported cars to greet their families. After the 1970s, it became popular to ride a bicycle, drive a tractor or drive a car to celebrate the wedding.
Weddings should start at the right time, usually in the early hours of the morning. Before going on the road, the relevant personnel should hold a banquet. As usual, there are 12 dishes on the table, one of which is all cooked carp, and everyone should eat the rest.
In the old days, when the wedding procession of the rich family was on the road, two servants walked in front of the procession with a pair of red lanterns with their surnames written on them, followed by the Music Band, the oilcloth sedan chair for the wedding, five red bamboo curtain sedan chairs for bridesmaids and brother-in-law, the official sedan chair without bamboo curtains for the groom, the beautifully decorated sedan chair for four people, and finally the gift money and dowry. There are 12 boxes and 24 boxes, up to 60 boxes, commonly known as "120 bar" (120 people carry). The average civilian wedding team has only one or two sedan chairs, and there are not many bands and boxes. Two boys walked in front of the team with a pair of red lanterns made of rooted sugar cane. The last person in the team carried a cloth bag with a toilet and a bucket for children. In some places, the wedding procession is led by procrastinators. Most of them are boys, dragging branches of pine or banyan trees with complete branches and leaves, and some are fresh bamboos with complete heads and tails.
The wedding team set off firecrackers when they arrived at the woman's door. After three shots, the woman opened the door and invited the wedding team in. The man gave two salutes, one called "Marriage of Two Surnames" and the other called "A Hundred Children and a Thousand Grandsons". A bundle of the woman's family income "two surnames get married" will be given back to the man's family.
Then, the bride's family held a banquet for the wedding team. The "best man" who accompanied the groom to the wedding reception should try to steal two small handleless wine cups and bring them back to the new bed in the bridal chamber. It is said that the bride can have children earlier. The bride's family should pretend not to find that the best man stole the small wine glass.
After the banquet, the man's best man urged the bride to get on the sedan chair. The bride had to find all kinds of excuses and was urged several times before she walked out of the hall to leave. After the bride gets on the sedan chair, the wedding procession takes over the dowry, sometimes adding bamboo with roots that the woman is going to take back to the husband's house. If the woman has a maid to marry, she will also go to the sedan chair with the bride. Hakka custom, the woman wants someone to hold a "fire dragon" (torch) to send her to get married, which is called "clearing the way to eliminate evil".
Along the way, the wedding procession preached (musical instruments) and sang together, and the village lanes, temples and bridges should be set on fire. Do you want to park the sedan chair at the man's door? Within R□ (two tones), wait for the auspicious time. At that time, the groom will kick the sedan chair door and scare the bride. It is said that the groom will no longer be afraid of his wife. After seeing Tom off, he immediately opened the car door. His brother-in-law held two red oranges on a red paint tray and asked the bride to get off. The bride returned a red envelope. Then, the "lucky" old woman (many long-lived children, both husband and wife) helped the bride out of the sedan chair. Send the bride to sing: "The bride is down-to-earth and gives birth to a good example; Step on the fat lion. "At the same time, some elders covered the bride's head with a rice screen labeled with gossip (now mostly with umbrellas), while others spread a red carpet or a new mat or a dyed red sack on the ground to let the bride walk through the gate.
Walk the bride to the gate with the bride, singing nice words, such as crossing the threshold and singing, "Turn?" (tone, threshold), food and clothing "and so on. The etiquette of brides entering the door varies from place to place in Zhangzhou: in some places, the fire in the furnace should be doused with water at this time, and the bride is not allowed to step on the threshold. This is to prevent the bride from getting angry and driving over others. In case the bride steps on the threshold, she will secretly put down the rice screen raised above her head to press the rockhopper, which scares her to break this trick. In some places, on the contrary, it is necessary to build a charcoal stove or burn a handful of straw to make the bride "smoke from the fire" and ask the bride to step on the threshold. In some places, when the bride arrives home, the elders should temporarily avoid it to avoid "collision". Hakka people slaughter a chicken when the bride enters the door, and put several bowls in front of the door for the bride to pass, which is called "stopping the door chicken".
If the bride commits "breaking her mother's family" or "breaking her husband's family's family" on her birthday, the person in charge of the wedding will put up a good tile at the gate in advance. As soon as the bride enters the door, the people next to her will immediately say, "It's all broken! It's all broken! " In order to solve the defects in the eight characters.