Homophony typo joke story

Homophone typo joke story

In ordinary study, work, and life, everyone has dealt with composition. Composition is composed of words. After human thought, A style that expresses the meaning of a theme through language organization. I believe that writing essays is a headache for many people. Below is a joke story about homophonic typos that I have carefully compiled. You are welcome to learn from and refer to it. I hope it will be helpful to everyone.

Homophone typo joke story 1

●Test results

In the middle school class, the teacher of the socialist economic theory class (hereinafter referred to as social economics) was angrily Read out the test results: You all did poorly in the social economics test this time. It is obvious that you did not spend your energy on social economics. In fact, social economics is a very simple course. If you work hard, you will get results. The results were announced below: Yang Wei, failed in social economics.

●Learning English

Xiao Ming likes to learn English and is looking for opportunities to speak English day and night.

On this day, he accidentally bumped into a foreigner while walking. He said embarrassedly: "I am sorry."

"I am sorry, too." The foreigner replied .

"I am sorry three." Xiao Ming replied immediately.

"What are you sorry for?" the foreigner asked.

"I am sorry five..." Xiao Ming said.

●Eat while standing

A foreign girl married to China. During breakfast, she was told that she couldn’t eat fried dough sticks: “You eat it with dip.”

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She stood up immediately and was told again, "You eat it with dipping!"

She was confused and said aggrievedly: "Let me eat standing up. I have already stood up, and I still can't eat it." Where are you going to stand? ”

　　　　　　

Once upon a time, there was a landowner who loved to eat chicken. The tenants rented his land, and it was not enough to just pay the rent. You have to give him a chicken first.

There was a tenant named Zhang San who went to pay rent to the landlord at the end of the year and shared the land for the second year. When he left, he put a chicken in a bag, paid the rent, and then told the landlord about the land for the second year. When the landlord saw that he was empty-handed, he raised his eyes to the sky and said, "This land is not allowed to be divided into three types." "Zhang San understood the meaning of this sentence and immediately took the chicken out of the bag.

When the landlord saw the chicken, he immediately changed his mind and said: "If you don't give it to Zhang San, give it to someone else."

Zhang San said: "Your words become so fast!"

The landlord replied: "That sentence just now was a 'nonsense (chicken) talk', but now this sentence was made based on an opportunity (chicken)."

●There is an "opportunity" to take advantage of

A salesman went on a business trip to Guangzhou. After arriving in Beijing, he wanted to take a plane there. He was afraid that the manager would not agree to reimburse him, so he sent a telegram to the manager: "You can take it if you can." The manager received the telegram and thought that the "opportunity" to close the deal had arrived, so he immediately called back: "Take it if you can."

When the salesman came back from a business trip to reimburse travel expenses, the manager said he was not qualified enough to take the plane. According to the provisions of non-reimbursement, reimbursement of air tickets is not allowed. The salesman took out the manager and called him back. The manager was stunned.

●Related to place names

On New Year’s Day evening, my younger brother brought two overseas Chinese students home for dinner. One was cheerful and the other was more reserved.

During the dinner, the cheerful classmate smiled and pointed at the reserved classmate and introduced us: "He is from Myanmar, so he is relatively shy." Then he raised his glass to toast everyone and raised his head. After finishing the drink, he continued: "I'm from Yangon."

●The principal got angry

The principal complained about the low efficiency of personnel administration at the school affairs meeting at the end of the semester. , furious. He said: "The person who is responsible for the director's business is not sensible; the person who is responsible for personnel management is unconscious; the person who is an officer is not an officer!"

●The ears are here

The newly appointed magistrate He was from Shandong. Because he wanted to hang bamboo poles, he said to his master: "Go and buy me two bamboo poles."

"

The master heard the word "bamboo pole" in Shandong dialect as "pork liver" and quickly agreed. He hurried to the butcher shop and said to the shopkeeper: "The new county magistrate wants to buy two Pork liver, you are a sensible person,

●You should be aware of it! "

The shopkeeper was a smart man and understood immediately. He immediately cut off two pig livers and gave a pair of pig ears as a gift.

After leaving the butcher shop, the master thought to himself "My master asked me to buy pork liver. Of course these pig ears are mine..." So he wrapped the ears and stuffed them into his pocket. He returned to the county office and reported to the magistrate: "Report to the magistrate, pig." I bought the liver! "

When the county magistrate saw that what the master bought was pork liver, he said angrily: "Where are your ears?" When the master heard this, his face turned pale with fright, and he hurriedly replied: "The ears... the ears... are here... in my... my pocket!" " Homophone typo joke story 2

Li Dazhuang is afraid of his wife

Li Dazhuang, a famous scholar in Hebei, is very afraid of his wife. If he does not obey his wife's orders, his wife will punish him to sit upright and put him He put his hair into the shape of a needlework plaque, put a lamp bowl inside, and lit the lamp. Li Dazhuang's body didn't dare to move, and he didn't dare to breathe, just like a piece of dead wood or a clay doll. His friends who were punished all joked to him: You are a lamp stand that fills a gap in the house.

One day, his wife suddenly fell ill and had to use crows as medicine. The snow had not yet melted. It was difficult to catch crows with a net. Li Dazhuang failed to catch crows, and his wife was furious and wanted to beat him with a stick. Dazhuang was afraid, so he walked to the outskirts on the sand and lured the crows with food, but only caught one.

His friend joked to him: Saints regard the coming of a phoenix as auspiciousness. You caught a crow and escaped a beating from your wife. It seems that the crow is a black phoenix.

Feng Shui

A man was about to die and asked his son to nail four large copper rings on the side of the coffin. The son asked him why, and he said: You will do this in the future. , I must listen to the Feng Shui master and move me around, it will be easier to move.

The dog doesn’t recognize it

There are two people sitting together, one of them. He farted without saying a word, and pretended to be fine, covering his nose with his sleeve.

There happened to be a dog nearby, so the man assumed that it was the dog that farted. . It happened that the dog yawned at this time, and the man said to the man: Look, it still refuses to recognize it!

Painting Plum Blossoms

There is an unsigned plum blossom painting. , someone saw it and praised the painting very well. Someone asked him: Do you know who painted it?

Someone sent the plaque.

He boasted that he would win the exam and said: I dreamed of a drum band playing and delivering a plaque to my house. One of his friends said: I also dreamed of sending a plaque to your house. The person asked: What are the four characters on the plaque? The friend replied: This is unreasonable.

A Laughing Man Passed the Word

Once a new official took office, a village chief asked for a hundred dogs to be handed over to the new official; he bought ninety-nine. There was one missing, and he couldn't buy it anymore, so he sawed off the horns of a sheep and mixed it with the dogs.

Sheep are ruminants and chew food in their mouths. His mouth kept moving, so he asked: Why does this dog's mouth keep moving? The chief replied: This dog is chewing maggots.

Laughing Fool

There once was a thief. People often have money to buy things. A fool envied him and once asked him: How are you good at stealing? The thief replied: There is a reason why I am good at stealing: whenever I steal other people's property, I Take a branch made of a crow and magpie's nest and put it in your hand so that others can't see me. When the fool said this, he believed it.

One day, he went to the crow and magpie's nest and took one. Holding the branch in his hand, he went to a house to steal property, and was caught and beaten. When he was being beaten, the fool also said: You can't actually see me when I knock you down.

New car

A boss bought a new car, but he was very worried about the driver he hired. He was worried that the driver would replace the parts of the new car with old ones in order to make a profit. He couldn't drive himself, so he had to ask every move of the driver clearly.

Once he went out in a car. The car slowed down and then picked up again.

"What's going on?" the boss asked the driver.

"It's nothing, sir, I just changed gears."

The boss turned to the friend next to him and whispered: "Did you see that you didn't even say hello to me? The gear has been changed. I must fire him." Homophone typo joke story 3

Regional culture

The first class teacher went on maternity leave, and the school arranged for Li Xiansheng to study geography. Instead. One day, the squad leader found Li Xiansheng and said anxiously: "Our class's blackboard newspaper for this month has not been published yet, and the school will conduct competitions next week. Please set a theme and ask everyone to provide manuscripts."

< p> Li Xiansheng thought for a moment and said, "Go back to class right away and tell the students that this month's blackboard newspaper will be themed 'regional culture'. Please actively contribute particularly funny homophonic jokes."

The squad leader returned to the classroom and announced on the blackboard: The theme of this month’s blackboard newspaper is Questions from Hell. Please actively contribute.

Selling fish in the market

In a lively market, a fish seller shouted: "Fresh fish". At this time, a bubble gum seller shouted: "Bubble gum" The fish seller heard this and said to the sugar seller: "Hey, why did you say my fish was in the soup?" At this moment, a bean sprout seller shouted again. Said: "Bean sprouts (douya)"

A security guard came over and asked: "Who else is quarreling with them?" It happened that an oil fruit seller shouted: "Youguo ( I'm here." After hearing this, the security guard said, "Okay, let's take the four of you away together. ”

The steel door is broken

The bathroom door at home is made of plastic steel. One day, the door was somewhat broken and stuck there, so , my dad called the door seller.

My dad: "Master, my steel door (anus) is broken."

Master: "Uh~~~ Well, how about I give you a 120?" Homophone typo joke story 4

What's wrong with that beauty?

I was chatting with my classmates in the corridor, and the beautiful female chemistry teacher walked by, < /p>

I pointed at the teacher and said to my friend, "That beauty..."

The chemistry teacher heard it, turned around and asked with a smile, "What's wrong with that beauty?"

I was stunned and answered: "Sodium magnesium aluminum silicon phosphorus, sulfur chloride argon potassium calcium"

Can you give me a scoop?

A monk once passed by our village looking for water. To drink, I went to Aunt Wang’s house.

Monk: “Female donor, I’m here to ask for water.

Aunt Wang was kind-hearted and took the monk into the courtyard: "Master, wait while I go get water."

The monk nodded kindly: "The donor is really kind-hearted, can you give me the scoop?"

Later, there was a lame monk in our town.

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　Jasperbund

A woman went to the supermarket to buy groceries.

Her man said he would buy a box of Jasperbund and go home.

The woman went home. When I arrived, I handed the man a box.

The man opened it and saw: a pair of chicken wings.

The man said: Damn it, why did I change the packaging box?

Is it cool?

Today a colleague came to work and saw that his hair was short.

Me: Why did you cut your hair? Is it cool?

He said to me sincerely: It’s not 2 yuan, it’s 28 yuan!

Zhu Shanghai

There is a classmate in the class named Zhu Shanghai who doesn’t like to study.

Once in class, he was playing by himself and affected others.

The teacher criticized him harshly:

"You are so ignorant and incompetent. Want to live in Shanghai? You can’t even open the door to the bathroom. "

Go and call you (roommate)!

"Teacher, are you looking for me?"

"I heard that you have been in trouble a lot lately. ah. Did you skip class yesterday?"

"Um. I skipped classes. ”

“Did you use the heat too quickly in the dormitory?”

“I am useful.

”

“Did you use the hair dryer in the dormitory?”

“Yes. I am useful. "

"Oh, the teacher wrongly blamed you, go and call you if you have a (roommate)!"

Since you are kneeling like this, I won't buy it

I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy clothes. She fell in love with a coat.

I opened the label and saw that it cost 6888 yuan.

My girlfriend is also very sensible and knows that it is not easy for me to make money.

He turned around and said to me: "Since you are kneeling like this, I won't buy it. "

Sister, where is your brother?

I went to my buddy's house to play, and his sister opened the door.

I asked politely: Sister, Where is your brother?

Before I could say anything else, she subconsciously put her hands on her chest...

Then the door slammed shut, listening to her Angrily shouting: Brother!

I am a lost child.

The child lost his way in the forest and met the big stupid bear.

The child said: I am a lost child, can you take me to find my mother?

The big stupid bear nodded and led the child a long way to the elk’s home...

Seeking death is not a good idea

Liu Bei: "Zhao Yun. The three of us brothers were sworn brothers before. I think you are a pretty good person today, so I count you as one. "

Zhao Yun: "It's better not to give it up."

Zhang Fei: "Why do you look down on our brothers?"

Zhao Yun: "No, Brother Fei, I I just don’t think it’s nice to be called Zhao Si” ;